Based on a True Story (Rock) C4C


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jtaf
04-16-2011, 08:12 PM
OK, here's my latest attempt at songwriting. Its the first song I've written which has a brige in it, and its a little heavier than the ones I had written before, but it still has a really soft sound compared to some of the post-hardcore stuff posted here, lol. Also its lacking the vocals, so it might be a little repetitive. Anyway, please let me know what you think.

pinguinpanic
04-18-2011, 06:43 AM
Writing this as I listen, the drum intro was a bit too boring to be a drum intro. If you want to do a drum intro the drums have to be a bit more interesting. The chord at bar 9 didn't sound right to me, but it might work, it'll depend on the rest of the song. The verse is pretty nice, catchy. I'm still not sure about that one chord in the chorus, but if you thing it works, keep it, nice to have something different every once in a while. The second guitar might do something more then just the powerchord during the Chorus though. The transition to the bridge was, good, the bridge is pretty good though. The song has a kind of old-school rockish sound, reminds me of Guns 'n Roses at times and of the Rolling stones at other times. I like those chords at the outro, but perhaps you should try Rallentando on them.

Nice song, maybe a bit simple, but if you like it that way, you should keep it that way. Everything flowed well and I could imagine it being a lot of fun to listen to if it has vocals and if you're into Rock. The only thing I'd change would be the drum intro, and perhaps having the second guitar do something more interesting then only that powerchord, or at least make it strum it like once more before the next chords so it's more in line with the clean guitar because the clean guitar really gives me the feeling at the end of playing the chord like "WATCH WATCH IT, HERE COMES THE NEXT CHORD!", and it would be good if the second guitar did that as well. I hope that made sense.

deilyte172
04-20-2011, 11:26 PM
Not bad I suppose... What bugs me is just the drum intro and the outro chords. It does have a classic rock feel, kinda reminds me of The Rolling Stones and The Beatles.The intro chord progression is kinda weird, but I think that's great, it also gives the song a "prog"-ish feel to it. The arpeggios at the verse are okay, followed by the acoustics... Nice, but maybe you should make the guitar strum pattern a little bit different at the verses, to differentiate it from the chorus, cause it's kinda boring hearing the same strum patterns over and over again... Or maybe that's just me... You don't have to change it if you don't want to. The drum rhythms need a bit more fixing... Please try to not use the same drum groove in all of the sections(well except the bridge), try giving it more variations. Oh yeah, try giving the guitar 2 a bit variation, too, to support the guitar 1. Don't just do power chords...

The transition to the bridge is great, the melodies are great too. It's kinda bluesy, and it really reminds me of The Rolling Stones. OK, for the outro, the chords really feel odd... Don't force a G major chord shape across the fretboard and leaving the open strings... well, open. Try A# major, A major, G# major, THEN G major. Or, if you want, I think power chords works nice here, for the A#, A, G#, and G.

Overall, the song is rather simple. Good for easy listening maybe. Not much to crit here except for the ones I mentioned above, since it's repetitive... OK, I hope this crit is useful.


C4C?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1432781