Collection of Pop-Punk Songs [GP5, C4C]


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Mean Mr Mustard
04-22-2011, 02:44 PM
EDIT: 6/26/11 - Okay, I weeded out a bunch of the songs I thought weren't going anywhere and I'm left with these. Please give your input on as many of them as you want :) I'm looking for overall sound, how they flow, vocals, all that stuff, just tell me how they are.

Also, thanks to all the crits I have so far, they've helped a ton! All of these are gonna be learned by my band eventually (we already have the first 5 down), so the crits are very very useful.

Update - 6/28/11 - Added three new songs, 2 pretty short songs, and an instrumental

Joshua1207
04-22-2011, 06:55 PM
Criticizing 'TF TG 2' - I like the intro. Kind of catchy. I didn't really like the chord progression in Pre-Verse but I liked the other stuff in it. I would say more about the song but it looks like you haven't finished.

Onto 'TG 1 (Happy Rocker)' - I like the intro, nice to see some happy stuff in this forum ha. The Oboe vocals were pretty good too. Clearly you're much better at drums than I am. I like your chorus. Especially the bar 77-78 part. I didn't really like the bridge though besides bars 97-98. It went from a happy feeling to a bit sad =/ Not really drastic change but still. Your outro was good, I like the accents you used.

Doing 'TG 9 (Sad Slow)' now - Your intro was okay, but pretty generic. I'm pretty sure I've heard that chord progression a lot before, but I do like it nonetheless. I was expecting something a bit more sad by the name :P Maybe its because I need to hear actual singing to feel the experience. Build up is probably the best part of the song so far. I think I'd like release a lot better with a different chord progression. The song overall was okay, I just didn't care for the rhythm guitar and the title was misleading, at least to me.

'TG 6 (Mellow)' - Another misleading title name :P I don't really like the vocals you did in this song. They just don't really fit in, in my opinion. I think this song would probably be much better slower. You have some good riffs in there though. I don't really care for the rhythm either, the progression isn't terrible itself though. As the song goes on I kind of like it better though, eh. Overall, I recommend slowing down the tempo some and maybe add in a couple more riffs too but slow and mellow like.

I'll listen to the rest later perhaps. Oh also, as a disclaimer I really don't listen to pop-punk so take my critic with a grain of salt.

Mean Mr Mustard
04-22-2011, 07:38 PM
Hey, thanks for the crit man. Basically, I wont go in depth, but I agree with a lot of the points you made. These are kinda rough drafts for the time being, and Ill probably scrap a few of them, but thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it!

melkere
04-22-2011, 07:51 PM
I honestly don't have any negative feedback for you on ANY of these tracks. Good job man! How long have you been writing music?

Mean Mr Mustard
04-22-2011, 08:04 PM
I honestly don't have any negative feedback for you on ANY of these tracks. Good job man! How long have you been writing music?
Thanks dude appreciate it! Ive been writing about...2-3 years I think?

melkere
04-22-2011, 08:23 PM
The experience shows. Nicely done.

BlackApparatus
04-22-2011, 08:47 PM
Just the same as melkere here. I listened to every single one of them, and I must say I loved them all. Keep up the good work, finish those which are still incomplete, and you can even say you have a really solid album right there, man. Congratulations.

Erra93
04-24-2011, 02:33 PM
TF TG 1, bar 70, Track 2, sounds like a major key change, sounds fine when it gets to bar 72 though, it's not a big deal, but it could be improved :)
Actually, all of guitar solo 2 sounds like it's in a different key :p
The rest of it, I really enjoyed :)

I'm too tired to do the rest of the songs, but what I've heard so far them, I've liked :)

Mean Mr Mustard
04-24-2011, 04:18 PM
TF TG 1, bar 70, Track 2, sounds like a major key change, sounds fine when it gets to bar 72 though, it's not a big deal, but it could be improved :)
Actually, all of guitar solo 2 sounds like it's in a different key :p
The rest of it, I really enjoyed :)

I'm too tired to do the rest of the songs, but what I've heard so far them, I've liked :)
Awh man, Im going to do that entire solo over again, I didnt enjoy it either. And thanks :)

EDIT: Changed it, and finished quite a lot of material, check OP

herby190
04-24-2011, 10:53 PM
Critting TG 11:

I liked the majority of this, and really just have a few complaints.

I think that for the intro, as well as when that riff is used again later, Guitar II shouldn't play the fills with Guitar I. I tried changing it so it just continued with the powerchords, and I thought it gave it a stronger sound. Just my opinion; it wasn't bad to begin with, but I felt like repeatedly taking those chords out at the end of every other measure made the flow a little awkward.

I feel this piece would benefit from a more interesting chorus lead; I think it could add a lot of energy.

Instrumentally, I think that's about all I have to say. Lyrically, I think you need some work, but that's another forum.


Critting TG 2:

Not really a lot to say here. The vocals to this one were actually fairly catchy, and I don't really have any complaints with the instruments. All in all, I just thought it was far too short.

Mean Mr Mustard
04-25-2011, 10:09 AM
Critting TG 11:

I liked the majority of this, and really just have a few complaints.

I think that for the intro, as well as when that riff is used again later, Guitar II shouldn't play the fills with Guitar I. I tried changing it so it just continued with the powerchords, and I thought it gave it a stronger sound. Just my opinion; it wasn't bad to begin with, but I felt like repeatedly taking those chords out at the end of every other measure made the flow a little awkward.

I feel this piece would benefit from a more interesting chorus lead; I think it could add a lot of energy.

Instrumentally, I think that's about all I have to say. Lyrically, I think you need some work, but that's another forum.


Critting TG 2:

Not really a lot to say here. The vocals to this one were actually fairly catchy, and I don't really have any complaints with the instruments. All in all, I just thought it was far too short.
On TG 11, Ill try it out, dont know how that will turn out though, as well as possibly a better chorus lead. As for the lyrics, theyre just thrown in, Im only really proud of a few of the lyrics on these tracks, most are just filler haha. But thanks

kyl1989
04-25-2011, 08:44 PM
Haha is there even a genre that you aren't good at
Great work once again!

NOTAFOX
05-07-2011, 10:15 PM
i listened to TG 4, 6, and 9. they all sounded really good.

with TG 4, it was a good sounding pop punk song, i liked it. one of the only things that bugged me was in the intro when with the last quarter note of a bar and then the first quarter of the next (even though you used either notes) it just sounded like a weird stop and start to me, idk why. over all good song though.

with TG 6, idk, but i didnt feel this one as much for some reason. it was good, catchy, but i guess just not my thing. but over all it was good.

and for TG 9, it was a really nice slower song. i think it might of been my favorite of the 3. it was to short though it seemed to me. i would of liked if it were alittle longer i think.

over all, your songs were very good. one problem i had with all of them though was the lyrics. it didnt seem like you had enough in any of the songs, and they all kinda sounded the same to me. idk, its just me. still you did a very good job over all, keep it up =D

Mean Mr Mustard
05-07-2011, 11:08 PM
i listened to TG 4, 6, and 9. they all sounded really good.

with TG 4, it was a good sounding pop punk song, i liked it. one of the only things that bugged me was in the intro when with the last quarter note of a bar and then the first quarter of the next (even though you used either notes) it just sounded like a weird stop and start to me, idk why. over all good song though.

with TG 6, idk, but i didnt feel this one as much for some reason. it was good, catchy, but i guess just not my thing. but over all it was good.

and for TG 9, it was a really nice slower song. i think it might of been my favorite of the 3. it was to short though it seemed to me. i would of liked if it were alittle longer i think.

over all, your songs were very good. one problem i had with all of them though was the lyrics. it didnt seem like you had enough in any of the songs, and they all kinda sounded the same to me. idk, its just me. still you did a very good job over all, keep it up =D
Hey thanks for the crit, I appreciate it! For the part about the lyrics, did you mean that there were too many instrumental parts with no vocals? Or that the vocal lines were too slow or something, therefore not allowing many lryics? Either way, the lyrics arent really done, but most of the vocal lines are. I think Im comfortable with the amount of instrumental sections to vocal sections though, I kinda like how it is. As for the vocals sounding the same, maybe its the MIDI, I try to change it up a bit with those and theyll get tweaked as I change the lyrics anyways.

deathbycontrol
05-08-2011, 11:28 AM
I listened to them all, and they were all really good. I dont feel like typing a lot right now, so I'll just crit the one I liked the most, which was TF TG 2.

I like the melody in the intro. Has a really nice feel to it. The preverse is a little heavier, which is good as well. The tempo change in the verse works pretty well, its sudden but doesnt sound out of place.

I think the prechorus would sound better the second time around if you added melody to it, like maybe have a third guitar play octaves, something to keep it from being EXACTLY like the last one.

Finally I like the rhythm in the chorus, too, and the little lick thrown in really spices it up. Though I dont really see the point in just having one guitar play those two bars near the end, but Idk, it'll probably sound better in a recording.

Oh, and thanks for the crit :D

benonbass1
05-08-2011, 08:42 PM
Cheers for the crit :) I'm really sorry it's taken so long to get back to you!

Okay, I'll admit now that pop-punk really isn't my thing.

However saying that, I started on your TG1 (happy rocker) and really enjoyed it. I loved the melodic change in the bridge, as well as the great rhythmic variation during the chorus. The little bass variations were cool too.

The next track I listen to was Acoustic intro. I know pop-punk is quite a "cheesy" genre, but I found the intro a bit generic. The vocal melodies and harmonies are cool though. The section where the distortion came in was the best, although I did feel there were some notes clashing in the lead. I like the lyrics in the chorus.

I like the lead in intro and pre-verse to Heavy Blue, It seemed to be the inverse of how you'd expect it to be, second bar first, first bar second, if you see what I mean, which is effective. The outro had a nice change of chords, and the little bass fill really makes it.

That's all I'm going to do for now. Sorry but it's almost 2 o'clock in the morning :haha

Mean Mr Mustard
05-08-2011, 08:51 PM
Thanks for the crit to both of you guys. Appreciate it!

I think the prechorus would sound better the second time around if you added melody to it, like maybe have a third guitar play octaves, something to keep it from being EXACTLY like the last one.

Finally I like the rhythm in the chorus, too, and the little lick thrown in really spices it up. Though I dont really see the point in just having one guitar play those two bars near the end, but Idk, it'll probably sound better in a recording.
Yep, I put in some work on this today, I gave the second pre-chorus a different drumline, so hopefully thatll change things up. Also, that chorus thing was just that I hadnt finished it yet.

HappyGilmore899
05-10-2011, 08:28 PM
I haven't listened to them all yet but here's a little feedback for a couple of the ones I've given a listen. Pretty much everything I've listened to gives off a big Alkaline Trio "Crimson" era Vibe to me lol. I know alot of AT fans knock that album but I think it was great personally.

If you can, I'd appreciate it if you would check out my song here -> http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1440805

TG3 (Sad) - My Favorite of all the ones I've listened to so far. Like I said, Everything I've listened to Gives off an Alkaline Trio "Crimson" era Vibe but this one sounds like it could've been plucked right off the album which is nice. The Bridge is really nice with the Octaves and the Eighth Note Stops at the beginning of the cycles.

TG4 (Rocker) - Pre-Verse/Interlude Chords are very nice but the Transition from them into the Verse Chords and mood just seems a little abrupt to me and might be something to work on. I was a little let down that there wasn't really a solo someone between the final Bridges and Outro. Something simple with even just an octave or a simple Eight Note run might have given it some better depth. It was still good but this is really the only one I listened to that I really thought could use a little bit more work.

TG5 (Catchy) - Very Catchy (duh). Simple but the Barre Chords help give it a little extra layer in the verses (nice touch). Solo fit the song well.

TG7 (Dark) - The little octave melody at the end of each cycle in the verse is catchy as hell!. I like how in the Chorus the 2nd Guitar track does sort of break from the rhythm of the main part a little and the mini-solo in the post chorus fit the song great.

TF TG2 - The melody in the intro is nice but honestly it gets just a little bit boring until the verse kicks in at Bar 36. From the Verse until the first chorus the drum track really comes front and center and really stand out on this song. Overall it was a nice tight pop-punk track.

phew...I'll try to give a whirl of a few other tracks later. Everything I've listened to was really solid. You definitely have a knack for writing some pretty damn good pop-punk.

Mean Mr Mustard
05-10-2011, 08:38 PM
I haven't listened to them all yet but here's a little feedback for a couple of the ones I've given a listen. Pretty much everything I've listened to gives off a big Alkaline Trio "Crimson" era Vibe to me lol. I know alot of AT fans knock that album but I think it was great personally.

If you can, I'd appreciate it if you would check out my song here -> http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1440805

TG3 (Sad) - My Favorite of all the ones I've listened to so far. Like I said, Everything I've listened to Gives off an Alkaline Trio "Crimson" era Vibe but this one sounds like it could've been plucked right off the album which is nice. The Bridge is really nice with the Octaves and the Eighth Note Stops at the beginning of the cycles.

TG4 (Rocker) - Pre-Verse/Interlude Chords are very nice but the Transition from them into the Verse Chords and mood just seems a little abrupt to me and might be something to work on. I was a little let down that there wasn't really a solo someone between the final Bridges and Outro. Something simple with even just an octave or a simple Eight Note run might have given it some better depth. It was still good but this is really the only one I listened to that I really thought could use a little bit more work.

TG5 (Catchy) - Very Catchy (duh). Simple but the Barre Chords help give it a little extra layer in the verses (nice touch). Solo fit the song well.

TG7 (Dark) - The little octave melody at the end of each cycle in the verse is catchy as hell!. I like how in the Chorus the 2nd Guitar track does sort of break from the rhythm of the main part a little and the mini-solo in the post chorus fit the song great.

TF TG2 - The melody in the intro is nice but honestly it gets just a little bit boring until the verse kicks in at Bar 36. From the Verse until the first chorus the drum track really comes front and center and really stand out on this song. Overall it was a nice tight pop-punk track.

phew...I'll try to give a whirl of a few other tracks later. Everything I've listened to was really solid. You definitely have a knack for writing some pretty damn good pop-punk.
Damn dude, I really appreciate it! :D Ive never listened to Alkaline Trio, Im gonna have to check them out sometime! Thanks for the help man, I love it when people give their brief little thoughts on each song, its easier to tell, "oh does this guy hate the other songs as well?", or "oh this guy likes all them but this one, gotcha". So yeah, in short, thanks hahaha. Ill go check out yours soon!

blake1221
05-10-2011, 09:44 PM
There was a lot to go through, so I'm just gonna discuss some blanket statements/things that really stuck out to me haha.

TF TG 1 - 2: The most obvious thing was how cohesive and thought out these songs were. You knew exactly what you wanted from each instrument, and it showed. Those are great songs that I know I'd like to listen to.

TF TG 3: wasn't stoked on the intro, but by far my favorite chorus. It was simplistic and a straight head banger (I was nodding to myself while listening :p: ). Easy to imagine different vocals, so you're sitting on a treasure trove of potential.

TF TG 4: NEW FOUND GLORY :D hahaha all that came to my mind. Very Sticks and Stones era. Work with it.

Happy Rocker: I wasn't a fan of the chorus. The problem with me though, is I'm very picky, and so certain things just won't sit well. Basically, I'm telling you not to listen to me, it just wasn't my cup of tea hahaha.

Acoustic Intro: Great vocals, great feel to the song. Very nice, but the 6 in measure 49 and where else it repeats doesn't belong. Find something else there for sures. Also, end the song on C instead of the F. Thank me later ;)

Sad: Great intro, great chorus. The second verse dragged on a bit and got stale, but nothing a little reworking can't fix. The bridge was very moving, and the C 33545 chord was a perfect touch. Great job.

These were all very strong works of art, nothing to really complain about. Good stuff man :)

blake1221
05-10-2011, 11:15 PM
Ah about the intro riff, I think I see what you mean, but I still think you should bring that section back in its entirety (bars 17-24), its just a great section haha. Also, while I think the transition into 51 actually works, im still not sure about 55, but if you like it, definitely keep it! Also, thanks for the crit on my song, very useful stuff! I figured Id bump your thread instead of mine to say that ;)

No problem doing the same for you ;) thank you though. And yeah pat yourself on the back for all the songs in that giant folder. Good shit.

Also: La Dispute ftw :five:

Mean Mr Mustard
05-11-2011, 09:25 PM
Update: 5-11-11 - Thanks to Blake1221's great advice, I changed TG 2!
Also, added a mini solo in TG 4 before the outro (thanks HappyGilmore).
Lastly, Im adding an acoustic track idea, and a TG intro idea (due to the lack of 3/4)

Oh and Im adding TG 13 and TG 14, for your consideration. Tell me how these changes are :D
Figured this was a big update, so Id give this a bump.

BigBigWater
05-12-2011, 04:13 AM
TG13: Ohai The Wonder Years. Really enjoyed what is there so far.

TG6: Liked this one, though it felt like there was still more to be said.

TG5: A little bit boring IMO, though I like the 'emotion' you can sort of feel throughout.

TG1: Awesome, loved the chorus.

TG12: My favorite so far, would looove to hear it finished. Love the melodies and lyrics in it.

TG10: eeehhh. Was iffy for me. Compared to most of the others so far it felt bland and didn't have anything really standing out, and the lyrics were kinda bleh in it, too, IMO at least.

TG8: So, so awesome. Musically, lyrically, etc. it's all perfecttt so far. Love pop punk like that.

TG9: Really love the structure and melodies to this so far, along with the whole build up. (You've sure got a thing for wanting to turn back time/other time specific things huh?)


That's all I'll do for now. Sorry I didn't get more in depth on any, honestly I find it hard to crit pop punk midi stuff, you don't get the energy and catchiness or memorability that you would from an actual recording.

Overall, very good from what I heard, definitely something I would love to listen to recorded.

palomite
05-16-2011, 02:33 PM
Criticizing TG 10:

There are some very interesting melodies here, sort of bittersweet and majory-minory.
In bar 28, the vocal line's second note, with a 4 on the G, is really unattractive to me. I think that chord itself, with the B and F, just sounds strange.
Chorus is nothing special, but I like how the one guitar just plays by itself.
The rhythm you've got going in the pre-chorus is something I really like, and variates the song a bit (that's another thing - the guitars are pretty much invariably playing straight eighth notes. I know this is pop punk so that is sort of a standard element, but some different rhythms might be nice).
Overall, I liked it and it's certainly pleasant enough to listen to, but a little variation with more interesting ideas - perhaps in rhythm or note choice - would benefit the song. Keep it up though. :)

vsdornelas
05-16-2011, 03:17 PM
Critting TG13

First of all, I don't listen to pop/punk music, so some stuff I write here might be completely wrong.

Well, intro was good, catchy riff. Empty bars on the beggining verse were pretty cool.
Little riff in the verse was nice, but I think you should work on the transition to the chorus. Maybe a build-up.

Also, why is there an oboe track? :haha:

Not sure if the song ends after that chorus, but it's good stuff. Not my kind of thing, but I can recognize a nice piece when I hear it.

blacknex
05-22-2011, 02:28 PM
Great songs.

TF TG 1 Sounded great, I loved the riff in the beginning.

When the tempo changed in TF TG 2, it sounded weird. Generally it's good, but
it's kinda short. :I

Is the TF TG 3 unfinished? I liked it, but it really seems unfinished.

I'm not so good at giving critics, but I try. Loved your work. :-)

Mean Mr Mustard
05-22-2011, 02:41 PM
Great songs.

TF TG 1 Sounded great, I loved the riff in the beginning.

When the tempo changed in TF TG 2, it sounded weird. Generally it's good, but
it's kinda short. :I

Is the TF TG 3 unfinished? I liked it, but it really seems unfinished.

I'm not so good at giving critics, but I try. Loved your work. :-)
Yes, this thread is basically for me to put my ideas and see how they are received, lots are finished, and lots are still just ideas. And thanks :D

CG Man16
05-24-2011, 06:09 PM
doing T3

First impression, giving me an Opethey vibe on bars 2-9: definitely sounds sad.
Verse: I think the vocals could make or break this, It could get a little boring if not delivered right, ya know?
Chorus: The flow from verse to this sounded good, it's catchy but still sounds sad.
Verse again: Same thing with the first one, I'm not really getting lost in the riff, so again, vocals are big here.
Chorus: Same
Bridge: I like it, but that break in the riff sounds a little weird to me. Sounds like it's getting happier as well?
End: Not bad, kinda generic, but it ended it effectively.

Not really my cup of tea (as you could probably tell from my song :p: ), but pretty good nonetheless.

Saint78
05-31-2011, 07:43 PM
TG TF 1: Alright man, very good. I hope you go far man. I have a couple things though: 1st for drums, try to work in more fills. There were only a couple in the whole song. 2nd is for the guitar, it's pretty easy to tell you're a guitarist because the song is very guitar oriented. Try to maybe quiet the guitar down a bit at some parts and maybe let the bass take a lead part. 3rd is the ending, this has nothing wrong with it just an idea is maybe end with one instrument playing a riff/fill for a measure then all the instrument end on a staccato note. Just an idea though, great song. :D

Mean Mr Mustard
05-31-2011, 09:12 PM
TG TF 1: Alright man, very good. I hope you go far man. I have a couple things though: 1st for drums, try to work in more fills. There were only a couple in the whole song. 2nd is for the guitar, it's pretty easy to tell you're a guitarist because the song is very guitar oriented. Try to maybe quiet the guitar down a bit at some parts and maybe let the bass take a lead part. 3rd is the ending, this has nothing wrong with it just an idea is maybe end with one instrument playing a riff/fill for a measure then all the instrument end on a staccato note. Just an idea though, great song. :D
Thanks man! As for the drums, theyre just outlines, especially the fills, so if/when I take this to my friend, he'll likely put in his own. Same may go for the bass, but youre right, Ill probably work more bass oriented parts into my future songs. Lastly, that sounds like an okay ending, but Ive got other songs that go that route, so Ill probably keep this as it is ;) Thanks

herby190
05-31-2011, 09:41 PM
Critting TG 15:

It's nice to see I'm not the only one who likes to use big chords on distorted guitars. =)

It's pretty upbeat, and really reminds me of Blink-182; not a lot to say here.

Critting TG 16:

I feel like the intro could use some more high-energy drums; try eighth notes on the loose hi-hat, and adding in some extra little bits on the snare and such.

The phrase "I want you" in the verse would sound great with backing.

That's a great vocal hook at the end of the chorus.

I love the interlude.

You need a stronger ending.

All in all, it was a decent song, but it could use some improvements.

C4C? The link is in my sig; if I remember right, you've been in that thread multiple times before.

Mean Mr Mustard
06-03-2011, 06:53 PM
Hey guys, I really hate to bump my own thread, but Ive just added like 5 new tracks (#18-22), and I would very gladly C4C anyone who checks them out and tells me their thoughts on those, or any of the others :)

Puppet_616
06-05-2011, 06:36 AM
I won't go through every piece, but overall I think these are solid tbh. There were some parts to songs that were weaker than others (as people have pointed out) but thats to be expected with this quantity of songs really.

Overall a really good an competent job you did here and your muscianship and thought processes really came out in the majority of these songs. Paticulary liked TG TF 1 :)

EDIT: sorry for the late Crit, not been online in a while!

guitar_jew
06-05-2011, 10:08 PM
Wow, I completely forgot to repay your C4C on my post hardcore bit. Sorry! Consider this a reserve post.

Julz127
06-06-2011, 10:02 AM
Great stuff man. Listening to all of them.

That is all.

jackblackyeah17
06-07-2011, 07:48 PM
Thanks a bunch for the crit, and sorry for not getting back to you sooner, I've been super busy lately.

I'll take a look at TG 21, TG 22 and TG 23 for you.

TG 21 : The intro is really catchy, albeit pretty generic. Enjoyed the solo, simple but to the point. The verse felt slightly crowded, but that might of just been GP screwing thing up. Bar 32 of the interlude feels off, every thing is in key, but it just sounds wrong, I would consider completely changing the phrase. The rest of the lead is quite good though, again very catchy. The chorus keep the same feel as the rest of the song, nothing to much to say there. Really digging the second interlude, it broke up the continuous feel that the song had, for lack of a better word. The solo didn't do anything for me, a lot of the notes sounded off. If I were you I would re-write the entire solo.

TG 22 : Decent intro, but kinda boring, maybe arpegiate the chords or add a lead? Didn't like the first overdriven lead, it's not bad, but it didn't do anything for me. The chorus was super catchy, the vocal line was a perfect hook. The verse was a better the second time, like the delayed octave chords. I'm not sure what to think of the post chorus. It's not bad, but it feels out of place. I wouldn't ditch it, but maybe add a more concrete transition? The solo was good, a few notes sounded off (the bend in bar 59) but overall it was decent and it fit perfectly. The outro was too abrupt for my taste.

TG 23: I was digging this from the start. I could totally have pictured myself listening to this when I was 13, hope that doesn't offend you. The vocal line was super hooky and I was caught from the first 6 bars. The chorus was good, save for the fill at bars 42 and 50, which felt quite off too me. The post chorus was perfect, really I have nothing to add about this section. The interlude was just awesome, it had a "island" vibe to it with the bass. The outro was great, except for the grace note at bar 95. By far my favorite song of the group.

Overall, solid tune that could really become excellent with a few tweaks here and there. I would be interested in hearing recordings of this stuff, post them if you ever do.

guitar_jew
06-07-2011, 08:16 PM
Critting 18-23, since they're the most recent and have probably received the least response already. I'll try to be as detailed as possible, but being pop-punk, I can't imagine I'll have a lot to say for each.

18: Very blink-182 in the vocal melody, but unique with that G# in the verses. Not much in the way of uniqueness, but that's not what your aim here is, if I'm not mistaken. For pop punk, well, it's pop punk. Not bad.

19: This one doesn't work for me at all. The melodies are decent, but the chorus uses the same notes as the verse, and that worked for 18, but here it just makes the thing feel repetitive. The harmonies break up the monotony somewhat, but far from enough.

20: Similar problem as 19 with the vocals, but not as bad here. If you took out the harmony during the chorus and just let the one voice jump up a fifth, that could work. Also, my ear wants it to end on that G chord (relative to capo), and the A really leaves the thing feel unresolved.

21: This one is the best I've heard so far. The vocals are still pretty repetitive, but there's more variation than in the previous two.

22: I don't hear much classic rock until the solo, but this one's pretty good. No real qualms, but the ending was too abrupt. If it weren't for the marker saying 'fin.' I'd actually assume that this one wasn't finished.

23: Also not a bad song, but I'm only hitting the interlude and it feels like it's dragging on. My problem with this is that the chorus only comes once, and a chorus is supposed to be the part that keeps the listener coming back. If it only plays once, it doesn't really make itself the focal point of the piece.

I want to point out that in almost all of these, the vocals use very similar melodies, focusing around the first four or five notes in the scale of your chosen key. Try to use different melodic devices, get away from that major third for a while, experiment. That's the best advice I can give as far as pop punk goes.

Again, sorry for the delay, and thanks for your crit on mine.

Nightwolf197
06-10-2011, 01:27 AM
TFTG1
Verse 1 is very happy sounding and quite pleasant (started shimmying to it)
Maybe it's just the MIDI, but I feel like the intro for the first guitar solo needs to stand out more
Because your using octaves, the lead feels left in the background until single notes come in
But this would probably be resolved with the use of an effects pedal or increased volume with real instruments
Love measure 49 for guitar solo 1, but the solo seems to be missing something for the transition to verse 2
guitar solo 2 transitions to interlude better than solo 1
Feels like something else is missing from outro as well
Try changing the two notes in 143 into whole notes; I think it would allow time for listener to change into the appropriate mood for the held final note
In measure 21 I think you should leave the final chord on the 3rd beat as the same as the other chords; feels like a smoother transition to verse

TFTG2

Prechorus is very good with the use of drums
Try repeating outro once more before resolving to final 2 measures
Postchorus transitions well into verse; however tranistion from preverse seems a little odd to me


TFTG3

Verse guitar is very interesting and ear catching with the use of rhythm
A little variation in chorus might be needed (but as I understand, this kind of chorus is common; hell it's the only thing that comes to mind when I think of a chorus)

TFTG4

I agree about the verse being "bleh;" I think it's the drum rhythm that isn't fitting it

TG1

Bridge mood change fits but seems a little fast in the mood change but it builds back up to the main happy mood quite well

TG2

I feel like you should have one measure of a held note between the chorus and the outro for a smoother transition

TG3

I have nothing to say about this one. It was excellent!

TG4

There's a strange sound with the second guitar playing the 1st measure of the preverse when playing the G chord
but it's probably just from the midi sounds and wouldn't be an issue with real instruments
I feel like the interlude (especially when transitioning from the first chorus) should be changed so the first chords in the progression compliment the D octave; I think Am is just creating some dissonance
The little solo (idk if that's what it is) used at the end of the bridge transitions perfectly to the outro

TG5

Don't really have anything to say about this one except that it's really upbeat

TG6

Can't say much about this either because I really like the way you went with the sound and I can't really find problems with it

Mean Mr Mustard
06-10-2011, 04:24 PM
Thanks for the post, Nightwolf. I really appreciate thaat you actually took the time to listen to all of those songs, I know that must take a while. Thanks though, you made my day! Any C4C?

friendlyindie
06-15-2011, 10:15 PM
These tracks are pretty awesome. Good work dude!

Mean Mr Mustard
06-25-2011, 02:12 PM
^ Thanks friendlyindie, glad to hear :)

I hate to bump my own thread, but I will still gladly C4C anyone's pieces. I've took out a lot of the weaker ones and the less popular ones, I think I have some pretty strong ones now. So tell me what you guys still think. I added MIDI files too.

Seb1uk
06-25-2011, 02:33 PM
Heavy Catchy Angsty: Nice song, the chorus wasn't as chorusy as I was expecting. The first verse's chords and melodies were really nice. I was hoping for a variation on the chord sequence of the second chorus. I felt after the first four bars the chord should've gone down and so should've the vocal melody. I made the note go down to 5 on the vocals and I changed the first power chord to 0 and it was similar to what I wanted to happen. So I think you should play around wit that.

The song flows really well together, just disappointed that it's so short. Are you really done with it because you could have some nice punky solo after the second chorus or something at least. Although to be honest I think this is one of your weaker songs so I'm not sure how much work you wanna to commit to doing on this. Still, I enjoyed it, I just didn't think it was spectacular, not saying it should be.

c4c? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1453656 Make sure you listen to the newest version!

Mean Mr Mustard
06-25-2011, 08:27 PM
Heavy Catchy Angsty: Nice song, the chorus wasn't as chorusy as I was expecting. The first verse's chords and melodies were really nice. I was hoping for a variation on the chord sequence of the second chorus. I felt after the first four bars the chord should've gone down and so should've the vocal melody. I made the note go down to 5 on the vocals and I changed the first power chord to 0 and it was similar to what I wanted to happen. So I think you should play around wit that.

The song flows really well together, just disappointed that it's so short. Are you really done with it because you could have some nice punky solo after the second chorus or something at least. Although to be honest I think this is one of your weaker songs so I'm not sure how much work you wanna to commit to doing on this. Still, I enjoyed it, I just didn't think it was spectacular, not saying it should be.

c4c? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1453656 Make sure you listen to the newest version!
Yeah, thats the shortest song here, just barely over a minute, but I got everything out of it that I wanted. There's plenty of other longer songs, so I wanted this to be a very short to-the-point song. You can't really hear it, but the song ends with a chant/scream section, I feel like it finishes it off better than a solo would. Thanks :) I'm critting yours first thing when I get back on.

Seb1uk
06-25-2011, 08:34 PM
Yeah, thats the shortest song here, just barely over a minute, but I got everything out of it that I wanted. There's plenty of other longer songs, so I wanted this to be a very short to-the-point song. You can't really hear it, but the song ends with a chant/scream section, I feel like it finishes it off better than a solo would. Thanks :) I'm critting yours first thing when I get back on.

Ahh right fair enough. Kinda like Bricks by Rise Against then. But I didn't really mean like a proper proper guitar solo, I mean like, one of those typical punky solos like you'd get from Sum 41 or The Offspring back in the day. I feel you could maybe do with something like that before going back to the chorus or final verse.

intothe
08-09-2011, 06:14 PM
Trip Instrumental:
Interesting intro, I enjoyed the "swingy" feel that was set early on. I can imagine the build up to section II being really cool if you'd ever record it, using a pick slide throughout bar 17. Section III was probably my favorite, the chords merged very well with each other imo and the lead gave it some spice. The end came a bit too soon imo, but other than that I think it's a good piece.