critique for new metalcore/mathcore


PDA

View Full Version : critique for new metalcore/mathcore


bmathew
04-22-2011, 07:10 PM
Hey guys, I've been working on this song for a while. If anyone is willing, could you please add onto the percussion as my knowledge in using the GP drums arent very good. Either way please tell me what can be done better or changed or is not good at all. Positive comments please. Thanks all

huevos
04-23-2011, 02:42 AM
I don't think the drumming brings it down at all; rather the stock riffs in the beginning sound to played out at this stage. It has an August Burns Red flare, with a bit of Protest. Yet, the riffage sounds too derivative of said bands instead of building upon what they have created.
I think that making the beginning more expansive (longer sections that are more distinct) would help greatly.

Chords and leads at 31 are a grand improvement. I think that working towards a solid foundation like the one shown here helps a good deal.

Staccato melody at 59 could work with a good rhythm section backing it up.

Riff at bar 69 isn't necessarily bad, but it goes on too long without having any real direction or purpose. I think you might have to do more than just bring in some bass and drums here.
Breaking up the riffs with some chords or high register tapping (if not, both) could be a start. Or intersperse the staccato melody again to given it some run-on continuity. Last option could be a bit difficult to do without bogging down the momentum of the riffs.

There is plenty to improve on, but at least you have a decent skeleton song structure from which to build upon.

bmathew
04-23-2011, 11:05 AM
I don't think the drumming brings it down at all; rather the stock riffs in the beginning sound to played out at this stage. It has an August Burns Red flare, with a bit of Protest. Yet, the riffage sounds too derivative of said bands instead of building upon what they have created.
I think that making the beginning more expansive (longer sections that are more distinct) would help greatly.

Chords and leads at 31 are a grand improvement. I think that working towards a solid foundation like the one shown here helps a good deal.

Staccato melody at 59 could work with a good rhythm section backing it up.

Riff at bar 69 isn't necessarily bad, but it goes on too long without having any real direction or purpose. I think you might have to do more than just bring in some bass and drums here.
Breaking up the riffs with some chords or high register tapping (if not, both) could be a start. Or intersperse the staccato melody again to given it some run-on continuity. Last option could be a bit difficult to do without bogging down the momentum of the riffs.

There is plenty to improve on, but at least you have a decent skeleton song structure from which to build upon.

Thanks man, Yeah the ending was making me uneasy as well as I didn't really know what to do but thanks for that, I'll take your advice and improve it.

bmathew
04-23-2011, 02:01 PM
Updated it, please take a look

butterfingers30
04-25-2011, 07:29 PM
I listened to your song and I had spare time early today so I added some drums to it for fun, I hope you don't mind :D . I only did measures 21-49 so far which was my favorite part of your song. If you hate it that's cool I just did it for my own amusement.

Edit: So I had some more time so I finished making a drum track for the rest of the song. I replaced the attachement from before with the new one. Hope you like it.

dylann
04-26-2011, 12:59 AM
i voted no im sorry i ment to vote yes

bmathew
04-26-2011, 01:47 PM
Thanks guys and butterfingers I appreciate you doing that, I actually enjoyed it alot, much better than what I could do haha. I'm glad you liked that section, its definitly one of my favs as well :D