2 songs (One for C4C one for help)


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JunKDepot
04-23-2011, 02:06 AM
So... here i have two songs.

I've been crazy working kinda like a madman to make a 5 songs ep and and i'm really stuck at the last song. anyway...STUFFS

Universal Flow: Short sweet and to the point, It serves as the Album opener. I'm just trying to get opinions on the composition (mainly Guitar and Drums.) also, fun fun rythem near the end. It cross fades into the second song "Creation/Evolution" Which i'm still wresting with.

Alone, But for the dead: This song is giving me all kinds of problems. I can lay layer after layer down but at a certain point my head kinda derps and i have no idea how to carry the song on. I have an ending in mind but i have no idea how to build the song up to the point where i'll be happy, so...please help!

TheBigProjekt
04-23-2011, 05:45 PM
I was listening to Alone, But for the Dead. the only thing i thought was going up to 9 on the F# and doing like a tempo change and drum fill, then going into a cool riff. That's all I got XD.

JunKDepot
04-23-2011, 06:59 PM
I was listening to Alone, But for the Dead. the only thing i thought was going up to 9 on the F# and doing like a tempo change and drum fill, then going into a cool riff. That's all I got XD.


hmm, i can give that a try, I'm trying for this to be a mostly atmospheric piece with some chunky grooves to it though. But who knows...that may work!

frankibo
04-24-2011, 10:45 AM
****ing awesome djenty tunes, you should've made it clear that I'd be getting some ambidjent here!
Any chance you're a Vildhjarta fan because Universal Flow is very reminiscent of Shiver. Good song though, very atmospheric, haunting and groovy as well.

Alone... has a lovely beginning, cleans and piano are great. Djenty groove comes in, sounds excellent. Love it so far. Have to say the piano melody is subtle but top class.
That off tempo break is awesome, as is the djenty riff that follows. So much groove and atmosphere. Maybe follow that last riff with a off tempo, odd rhythm, experimental chord section? You haven't really used any chords on the guitars, maybe throw that in to mix it up? Keep a groove going though with the rhythm. Also you've steered clear of any dissonance in your distorted riffs, maybe chuck some crazy dissonant riff in.

I have to say I'm absolutely loving your work, I look forward to hearing these completed and anything else you've written in this vein. Sensational stuff.

C4C? It's not exactly a new song but I wouldn't mind a crit on it.
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1404625

JunKDepot
04-24-2011, 03:29 PM
****ing awesome djenty tunes, you should've made it clear that I'd be getting some ambidjent here!
Any chance you're a Vildhjarta fan because Universal Flow is very reminiscent of Shiver. Good song though, very atmospheric, haunting and groovy as well.

Alone... has a lovely beginning, cleans and piano are great. Djenty groove comes in, sounds excellent. Love it so far. Have to say the piano melody is subtle but top class.
That off tempo break is awesome, as is the djenty riff that follows. So much groove and atmosphere. Maybe follow that last riff with a off tempo, odd rhythm, experimental chord section? You haven't really used any chords on the guitars, maybe throw that in to mix it up? Keep a groove going though with the rhythm. Also you've steered clear of any dissonance in your distorted riffs, maybe chuck some crazy dissonant riff in.

I have to say I'm absolutely loving your work, I look forward to hearing these completed and anything else you've written in this vein. Sensational stuff.

C4C? It's not exactly a new song but I wouldn't mind a crit on it.
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1404625

I have no idea what it is about ALone, but for some reason I cannot write anything to come after where it stops. This is driving me nuts!

frankibo
04-24-2011, 03:56 PM
I have no idea what it is about ALone, but for some reason I cannot write anything to come after where it stops. This is driving me nuts!

It's rubbish and really short but here's the sort of thing I thought you could try.

JunKDepot
04-24-2011, 05:13 PM
It's rubbish and really short but here's the sort of thing I thought you could try.


Oh, that's just the springboard i needed there! Thanks Frankibo

Geldin
04-24-2011, 05:25 PM
Alone but for the Dead made me think TesseracT. I hope you're happy with yourself. I like it - the only thing that bugged me was the "harmony" in bars 42-43 between the two guitars. The dissonance really bugged me and it ruined the harmonic feel you had built up to by that point. Aside from that, it's quite good.

For Universal Flow, the drums get way too busy in bar 17. The rhythm was fine without all the extra stuff going on there - that stuff really distracts from the rhythm. Also, while I'm complaining, I think the rhythm guitars came in too suddenly at bar 8. Maybe have a chord build up in bar 7 to build towards that wall of syncopation you have going on immediately thereafter. Bar 52-53 is awesome, just so you know.

frankibo
04-24-2011, 06:48 PM
Your song really struck a chord with me, so I looked at it more and came up with a sort of breakdown riff for Alone. Use it if you want or if it just helps you create something else then that's cool too!

JunKDepot
04-25-2011, 03:17 PM
progress on alone. i'm having some serious problems with GP though. for somereason the chords start chopping themselves around bars 65-66. has anyone had this problem before?

joeryer
04-25-2011, 05:21 PM
There is a riff in Alone but for the dead (Bar 25) Sounda veeeery similar to a riff in new millennium cyanide christ by meshuggah.. Dunno if it was intentional though.. The atmosphere is sick though mate, love it.

JunKDepot
04-25-2011, 05:31 PM
There is a riff in Alone but for the dead (Bar 25) Sounda veeeery similar to a riff in new millennium cyanide christ by meshuggah.. Dunno if it was intentional though.. The atmosphere is sick though mate, love it.
intentional? Maaaybe. the original riff i had there was a little more off kilter, a friend of mine directed me towards the NMCC riff and i built it around that pattern, only not as..massuguahesque. Ain't no shame.

JunKDepot
05-07-2011, 10:39 PM
Not meaning to self bump but :

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1439935

Recorded version of Universal Flow.