Gone Up In Flames (Prog/Death Metal/Jazz) [C4C]


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YesterdaysToday
04-23-2011, 04:03 PM
Heres some BTBAM, Porcupine Tree, and The Human Abstract inspired metal.

It's finally done!

C4C, just tell me which song to critique.


P.S. Don't go easy on me, if somethings off, TELL ME!

Thanks guys!

Portuguese_boy
04-24-2011, 08:32 AM
Oh shit man, I didn't expect that, probably one of the best pieces of music I've listened to from this website.

Bar 1-4
Very melodic, the extremely weird time changes work really well..

Bar 5-16
The awesome melody goes on, but becomes technical at this point, and it works perfectly. I especially loved bar 7 for some reason.
It's pretty cool how you added all these different techniques but it works so well together, like the pinch harmonics in bar 11, then there's the sweeps, and the chugging riffs in bars 10 and 14. In other words, your phrasing is amazing.

Bar 17
The rhythm changes at this point to open chords instead of chugging, pretty common technique, reminds me of some PtH songs (Palms read specifically) . Works well.

Bar 26-29
Loved those solo riffs, very original

Bars 30-37
Sounds weird at first, but then your ear gets used to the strange timing of the lead guitar.

Bar 45-89
Here's where I thought the song got a bit boring, you could have added a little variation to the rhythm, sounds way too repetitive. Also the solo is way too long, try shortening it a bit or maybe adding some chord changes and making the solo a bit different. Kind of like Selkies where there's the clean solo, and then it becomes distortioned.. You get my point.
The solo itself was ok, some moments where it got really jazzy was cool, but other parts lacked definition, like you were just randomly taking notes out of that scale.

Bar 90-109
No complains here, it really resembles BtBaM at this point, with a little bit of Born of Osiris maybe.

Bars 110-ending
Strong yet calm ending, really soothing, could really work with some fade out and some Tommy Giles-esque clean vocals in there for an epic ending.

YesterdaysToday
04-24-2011, 03:51 PM
Hey thanks for the crit, Ill get to working on it right away, I was feeling the same thing when I started showing it to friends.

HaydenHohns
04-25-2011, 07:35 PM
Returning crit now, I've updated my song since you've last listened so if you update yours then you can crit my update and I can crit yours again. BTW, up untill this point I have not listened to BTBAM, I think they have some really great moments which are then ruined by anything "core" in their sound. I hope you only took the better part of their sound.

Anyway:

Bars (1-16): Nice use of odd time signatures, I'm actually glad there's no percussion there as it allows for more room to breathe, in order to compensate for the later section. Phrasing is really nice here.
Bars (17-29): Excellent phrasing once again. However the second time the melody comes in, harmonise the entire thing and add a shreddy lead at the end.
Bars (30-44): I'm halfway between liking and hating the 7/8 ties. The drums make it jarring but the final bar resolves this feeling. Try reworking the drum accents or groupings here. 17/16 was used very well here. BTW, do you realise that a dotted note grouped as a triplet is just the same value as the note without the dot or triplet? look at the drum fill, you can change that so it reads properly. If you gave that to a session musician, they would laugh at you (not trying to offend you at all).
Bars (45-85): Nice chord progression, maybe use a rallentando to get between bars 44 and 45 more smoothly though. Solo has nice phrasing again but I would have left most of the sweeping until the end rather than random bursts.
Bars (86-109): Transition was ok but nothing special. The random tom outbursts ruined it for me, but the chord use was excellent. Next few riffs are pretty good, maybe try adding some counter-riffs though. Look up Elegy of Icaros by Emperor. There's a particular section which has a single note riff and a chordal riff all working interchangeably with each other. So try doing that for more variety in the piece. It would really make this piece more original.
Bars (110-146): Love the change in timbre here. However, you need another shreddy solo to go along with it. The piece just loses all the energy it had from Bars 1-109. Perhaps a variation on a previously heard theme but more technical?

Overall, you've got some good ideas but you need to keep that emotional focus throughout the entire piece. Polish some transitions and you have a master piece.

YesterdaysToday
04-25-2011, 07:41 PM
I like the comment on the 7/8 section. :)

I did that on purpose to make it feel as jarring and unusual as possible, mostly because it makes it sound cooler. :)

I try some of the stuff you talked about, and I'm already working on the solo, but there are a few things I want kept as is such as on 17-29 this is where vocals enter, so it needs to be kept toned down, Im just too lazy to put vocals on there. :P