Couple new songs (C4C)


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Joshua1207
04-24-2011, 08:00 PM
I have two new songs that I made recently that I feel like sharing, Sky Island and Too Many Roads To Go To. Sky Island is kind of experimental, I usually don't ever write songs with 3 guitars in it, but it came out okay. The bass in that song I kind of just threw in there, I didn't spend much time at all on the bass in that song, so feel free to turn off the bass if you want when listening to that one. On second thought, you probably should turn off the bass. I'm going to try to redo it. I mean feel free to listen to it on and tell me what parts you like but after relistening to it, it doesn't do the song too much justice for the most part.

The other song, Too Many Roads To Go To is a pretty simple song that would seemingly benefit a lot with vocals but I'm no singer, so aw well. Its still pretty good as an instrumental.

Anyways critic one or both songs if you want and I'll critic song(s) of yours.

EDIT: New song near the bottom of the page. Critic that now please?

herby190
04-25-2011, 12:02 PM
I've noticed one main problem with basically everything from you that I've listened to. There aren't any sections to your songs; it all just kinda sounds like one phrase. You need to make clearer changes between sections, by changing multiple elements at once. For example, change from a hi-hat beat to a ride beat, while also changing the progression on the bass and/or rhythm guitar.

Joshua1207
04-25-2011, 05:46 PM
Got any tips? I've noticed the same thing as well about myself.

herby190
04-25-2011, 09:56 PM
Study other artists, and how they achieve that kind of thing. Hell, even looking at other people here on UG could help, seeing as you'll be able to see their GP's, and see exactly how they get the sound they do. Changes between dynamics are one of the biggest things. For example, go from a soft, arpeggiated verse with a quarter note-feel drum beat and slow, root only bassline to a chorded chorus, with a strong drum beat and lots of fills, and a very active bass part.

There really isn't a right and wrong way to do things; just try checking out what other artists have done, and then incorporate it into your own writing style.

Joshua1207
04-25-2011, 10:01 PM
Well I'll keep your advice in mind when I make my next song. Next time I'm listening to some music, I'll keep a better ear for whats going on in the song and each section.

gabrielcev
04-26-2011, 11:29 AM
It was ok... you need more different sections because it gets boring. Try also make it sound more full try making a section when you play the chords of the song but not just playing the chord make a unique riff. Doesn't have to sound generic it can be a little weird makes it more interesting.
Check out mines.

Life Is Brutal
04-27-2011, 06:56 PM
Sky Island

I would suggest making the opening bars less dissonant, although there are patches of resolve. It was a bit difficult to find the resolves, and the clarity just kind of happens. Bars 13 and on are much better to the ears, although theres still some underlying dissonance that probably doesn't have to be there. :shrug:

Throughout the rest of the piece it just kind of flows without any real contrast or catch, although in bars 68 to 79 there were some interesting melodies.

I would study more harmonic, chordal, and scalar theory before trying another piece like this.

Too many Roads to Go

Intro is nice and builds nicely into the following segments. Bars 16 to 23 could benefit from some better phrasing and note choices. 24 starts off kind of randomly, although it quickly melds into some comprehension. Following bars to 50 are nice, although 50-52 repeats too much. :shrug:

53 and onward was good, although the song seems to end quite abruptly.

Joshua1207
04-27-2011, 07:11 PM
Sky Island

I would suggest making the opening bars less dissonant, although there are patches of resolve. It was a bit difficult to find the resolves, and the clarity just kind of happens. Bars 13 and on are much better to the ears, although theres still some underlying dissonance that probably doesn't have to be there. :shrug:

Throughout the rest of the piece it just kind of flows without any real contrast or catch, although in bars 68 to 79 there were some interesting melodies.

I would study more harmonic, chordal, and scalar theory before trying another piece like this.


Anything that you'd specifically recommend me learning?

Also, I like bars 73-79 a lot myself, pretty good short solo if I may say so :rolleyes:

Life Is Brutal
04-27-2011, 08:57 PM
Anything that you'd specifically recommend me learning?


http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/lessons/chords/basic_chord_theory.html

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/lessons/scales/construction_of_major_minor_and_pentatonic_scales.html

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/lessons/for_beginners/musical_intervals.html

Or this one.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/lessons/for_beginners/the_basics_of_intervals_part_1.html

Chord theory, how they are named, made, and the theory behind them.

Scale theory, how they are named, made, and how to alter a single scale into mulitple other scales in different keys with a single note change.

Interval Theory, Names, how to apply to chords and scales, and basically how to communicate with other musicians. Assuming they know the theory. :haha:

Joshua1207
04-27-2011, 09:02 PM
None of that stuff is helpful to me, I already know all of that. That's basic theory stuff that everyone should know.
Thanks for trying to help anyways.

Joshua1207
04-28-2011, 10:10 PM
Newer song that I made that everyone will probably hate. But thats okay, I like this one a bit so yeah. Was gonna be a blues like song until I added in the overdriven guitar and then I was like "nahp happening".
Anyways thoughts and opinions would be nice on this one. I would of made a new thread but I make too many threads in this forum. Critic for critic and whatnot. Tell me what you dislike :D

Kirborg
04-29-2011, 06:35 AM
kind of agree with the rest of the guys here, your stuff just drones on for like 3 minutes without much dynamics or anything that stands out. also, do you know basic theory? because some of the bass lines sound pretty awkward in combination with the guitar. you might just want to write one or two themes and build around them

Joshua1207
04-29-2011, 10:26 AM
kind of agree with the rest of the guys here, your stuff just drones on for like 3 minutes without much dynamics or anything that stands out. also, do you know basic theory? because some of the bass lines sound pretty awkward in combination with the guitar. you might just want to write one or two themes and build around them

Did you listen to Lazy Boring Fun Day or one of the songs in the OP? I thought the new song sounded better =/

And yes, I do know basic theory as I said above. I just don't spend too much time on the bass part so yeah.

rage__against10
04-30-2011, 04:00 AM
so i listened to Lazy boring fun day, and just as it has been said in the thread - there is some dissonance and awkwardness with bass lines and such. That being said, when you take the monotonous feeling out of guitar pro I can see this sounding quite good on guitar. From about bar 50 on you have a great lead, very chill. its just the rhythm guitar and bass is throwing it off for me a bit. overall i was fun to listen to - i went back to listen to some of your other stuff and i noticed the most important thing as a musician! you are steadily improving!
which is defiantly a good thing! keep working on structure, and listen to music and try and key into bass grooves and layer and then incorperate it into your own music.
looking forward to hearing stuff from you in the future.

(if you want to check out more of my stuff, i just posted one in the same genere called "we become" thanks!)

Joshua1207
04-30-2011, 10:20 AM
so i listened to Lazy boring fun day, and just as it has been said in the thread - there is some dissonance and awkwardness with bass lines and such. That being said, when you take the monotonous feeling out of guitar pro I can see this sounding quite good on guitar. From about bar 50 on you have a great lead, very chill. its just the rhythm guitar and bass is throwing it off for me a bit. overall i was fun to listen to - i went back to listen to some of your other stuff and i noticed the most important thing as a musician! you are steadily improving!
which is defiantly a good thing! keep working on structure, and listen to music and try and key into bass grooves and layer and then incorperate it into your own music.
looking forward to hearing stuff from you in the future.

(if you want to check out more of my stuff, i just posted one in the same genere called "we become" thanks!)

I actually liked the rhythm and bass from bar 50 to the end, eh.
But yeah, I feel as if I am improving as well. I just wish I was better at doing bass stuff lol. I'm not good at bass lines at all.

I'll listen to your other song once I get some free time.

RedDeath9
05-06-2011, 03:38 AM
Sky Island:

The intro sounds decent, I like the happy-vibe that it gives, but the drums could use a lot of work. Also, that 3 on the D string on the bass track doesn't fit. You're probably going to have to change like, every instance of that 3, unless that's REALLY the sound you're going for. This whole part could be really good if the drums and bass were improved.

Ah, and at bar 7, the drums DO pick up a bit... But the lack of snare on every 8th beat irks me, especially when I was expecting it to get all happy and bouncy. I also recommend turning the drums up, a lot. The song would just sound... fuller. I suggest giving it a more... steady, simple pulse.

At bar 13, that 3 note on the D string of the bass becomes really noticeable. And I just realized, the 3 note on the A string would work better if it were 5. The 3 makes it unnecessarily dissonant.

Also, on track 3, I notice the chords are 133 and 355. I understand the feeling you're trying to get by using the 133 chord (I think), but it would work better if it were reflected in the lead as well. For instance, when the 133 chord is playing, play:

|---------------------------
|---------------------------
|---12-10---10-12--14----
|-0--------12-------0----------
|---------------------------
|--------------------------


or something similar. Just use 10 on the G string rather than 11, since the 11 clashes with the 133 chord.

When 22 comes in, I believe it's those 133 chords causing severe-ass dissonance, because not even the 244 and 355 chords sound good there.

But holy shit, bar 34 is awesome. I'm not exactly sure why it's awesome. I think now it's that 133 chord on the rhythm in the first half of the bar, and the lead guitar in the second half... It turned a very well-executed modulation. Alright, maybe not VERY well-executed, but it was definitely a turn-around from before. This part has lots of potential. After the first four bars though, the awesomeness wears off.

I'm not entirely sure what is going on with those 099 and 077 chords... That whole part just sounds very... I can't tell what you were trying to get across with this part. That's something important to consider when writing music... YOU may know what you're trying to get across, but you have to convey it in such a way that the listener hears exactly what you want them to hear. I'm tired, so that may not make much sense. But oh well.

herby definitely has a good point. You need to utilize dynamics more, especially in the drumming department. Right now, they are just placeholders, whereas they could be driving the song forward... Or something. And you also need to watch for dissonance in the bass tracks apparently :p: I can't hear the bass so well right now, due to being on a laptop.

That being said, your stuff has lots of potential. I did find enjoyable parts in each song, and it tells me that you at least have some idea of what you're doing. :p: I hope my crit wasn't too harsh, I didn't mean it to sound that way.

Joshua1207
05-07-2011, 05:22 AM
In Sky Island I was experimenting, like a lot. Pretty much the whole thing. Was kind of going to a post-rockish sound, eh. Like I said in the OP, the bass probably shouldn't be on when listening to it, I spent very little time on it, I just kind of put it there.
Thanks for the compliment on bar 34. Modulation, ha well thats cool I suppose. Can't say I was trying to write using modes at all in this. EDIT: You sure you got the right bars? Listening to it, I don't notice anything special about it lol

I'm not good at writing drums, I know. But I'm making slight improvements with each song. Also, I didn't find your critic harsh at all, I found it very informative and helpful.

RedDeath9
05-08-2011, 03:13 AM
Ah, okay, that's good then.

And about bar 34... I found something special about it :p: That C# note that the lead plays makes the riff, really. That's where the modulation is, I think. It reminded me a bit of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-QDybqj8Zw

From 0:07-0:14. About halfway through, there's that same modulation that you used. At least, it sounds similar.