Let's See What You Can Do (Jazzy/Post-Rock - C4C - GP5/MIDI/MP3)


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HappyGilmore899
04-27-2011, 05:46 PM
Been a while since I posted up on here and been quite a while since I've completed anything as well. This was originally part of a larger instrumental track I was working on yesterday but I thought it would be better standing on its own. ALOT of different instrument tracks but it's extremely simple just like everything else I've written.

The track is kinda dreamy, post-rock-ish/chill Jazz-Rock with a little Pink Floyd feel in there (wasnt going for that at all). No real structure to it just tried to get a good flowing feel throughout. Yes I know the solo is extremely dumbed down and simple but between my own technical limitations and just because of the kinds of solo's I like, I think it fits.

Any thought's are appreciated and I will definitely do Crit 4 Crit. I also have the MP3 Of the track up on my UG Profile if you want to click and listen without downloading. I know it's not going to be everyone's "thing" genre wise but as long as you listened to it with an open mind I'm more than willing to take any sort of crit negative or positive :).

To listen in my Profile Page - http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/HappyGilmore899/music/play989874

BigBigWater
04-28-2011, 04:38 AM
I really enjoyed this overall. The mood is fantastic throughout, extremely dreamy. I could imagine this in the background of a video game at some point I think... haha.

My only dislike was the bits of dissonance (91, 34), I understand the want to do dissonance and all, but with the 'floaty' dream feeling the whole song has, it just really throws it off for a second.

Otherwise, fantastic. The solo fit perfectly into the music, as it should, so don't be hard on yourself with it! haha.

If you care to C4C a WIP of mine... http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1424870

HappyGilmore899
04-28-2011, 09:21 AM
I really enjoyed this overall. The mood is fantastic throughout, extremely dreamy. I could imagine this in the background of a video game at some point I think... haha.

My only dislike was the bits of dissonance (91, 34), I understand the want to do dissonance and all, but with the 'floaty' dream feeling the whole song has, it just really throws it off for a second.

Otherwise, fantastic. The solo fit perfectly into the music, as it should, so don't be hard on yourself with it! haha.

If you care to C4C a WIP of mine... http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1424870

Thanks alot for the crit. Yeah the Dissonance was intentional and at first I thought it meshed well but I agree its something that probably is going to need changing lol. Appreciate the feedback a ton and I Just posted up a crit on your track a minute ago.

Anyone else with any feedback/crit?

Madzää
04-28-2011, 01:56 PM
This is a very athmospheric, ambient and yet gripping piece. Hard to crit, but I will do my best. Iīm not really seeing the jazz-aspect in here, but this is an pleasing piece on its own, so I wonīt write much about that.

I love how the layers evolve in this piece. Repetitive, I must say, but the post-rock aspect features repetition, and I surely like it in this context.

The intro sets the mood for the whole song - it actually kind of reminded me of some parts of Yanqui U.X.O. by GY!BE. Although this album is seen as a low point by them, it is actually my favourite and it really features a similiar athmosphere at parts. I like the leading role of the bass, giving the song a sense of familiarity. The first bend at the start of the melody works wonders, as well as your use of ninths in your playing. I would, however, repeat the bend after a few repeats, to get the feeling again. The drumbeat is subtle, and quite fitting, although I could have imagined this piece with a little bit more action on the ride cymbal. The steady crash each 4 bars isnīt that necessary, too, but its also not much of a problem.

The pad is a welcome addition after a few repeats, although Iīd use a different note choice in the dissonant sections, I get what you are trying to do, but the F# ainīt cutting it in my ears. The song goes on in its cycle, which is quite nice. I havenīt commented on the flowing melody, which changes so slightly. Definitely a plus to my ears. The solo was nice, and fitting, and showed a nice variety of melody. I also liked the use of bends here, very lively. But again, the F# in the pad sounds very awkward to my ears. Not the fitting kind of awkward, but the actual one. The fade out suits the style of the song, going out into a meditative feel.

Its a bit sad that I canīt write a longer crit to this song, but even after a few listens, I couldnīt find much more to crit that I havenīt covered already. Surely, you could add a lot of variation to this song, especially in the bass and the drums and the overall arrangement, but I believe this songīs the repetitiveness helped it to a great extent, giving it that deep, meditative feel I mentioned earlier. I enjoyed this very much, and I could imagine it getting some recognition if recorded properly.

If you want to crit back, you could maybe take a look at this: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1398163

HappyGilmore899
04-28-2011, 07:18 PM
Madzää - Thanks alot for the crit (Just replied to your as well). It does seem the more I listen throughout that the couple drops of dissonance I tried to put in throughout just arent quite working.

With the Bend at Bar 23 when the Drums kicked in, I thought it sounded great too and did have it repeating more often throughout. When I came up with the Solo though, and used a few bends and the dive in there, I thought the track was just overall a little to heavy on the bends and was afraid that previous to the solo, would've lost some of the effectiveness had I had it repeating more often. I think alot of it has to do with the fact that all the bends throughout are Drawn-out Whole Note Bends, sort of made them feel more dramatic and thus I did'nt want to over-do it.. Probably something that if/when I recorded an actual version I would try to add in though. Thanks alot again for the feedback.

Anymore feedback is definitely appreciated!

lolometer1
04-28-2011, 10:47 PM
I really liked this, the mood is fantastically calm but at the same time to me feels quite sad so it left a definite impression on me.
Bars 1-22 are very nicely put together and it seems like it's easing the listener in to keep that sense of calm and then bars 23-44 with that little solo is breathtaking to listen to and quite nicely layered but at the same time easy to listen to and again, keeps that sense of calm. Bars 45-57 are even more nicely layered with the chords and it's good that you kept them moderately quiet because they're not too in your face and just add another texture to the song and track 5 works very well adding a little "ornament" in there. Bars 58-70 work very well as a transition and i like how after the track 5 "ornament" you go down to the chords and this reminds me a lot of This Will Destroy You. Bars 71-85 are brilliant and that distorted solo goes really nicely against the quiet background and isn't too in your face which is definitely good and the bends are all pretty uplifting. Bars 87-94 really remind me of Quiet by This Will Destroy You when it breaks down into the distortion and it's really nice to have that contrasting the clean backing and it just makes the piece more interesting because you can hear that the distortion is louder but you can still hear the clean in the background. Bars 95-102 are nice because it goes back to the intro although i felt there could have been more at the end, maybe repeat that clean part and fade out gradually over the 16 bars you'd have.
But these are just my opinions :)
C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1437025 it would be much appreciated :)

HappyGilmore899
04-29-2011, 04:38 PM
lolometer1 - Thanks alot for the feedback, glad you enjoyed it and to hear that the layering of different instrument tracks is working well. The outro was something I definitely wrestled with for a while and do think it could use some tinkering for sure before I ever got around to recording it/making a final composition. I just put some feedback on your track, thanks alot again for the crit on mine.

Anymore feedback definitely appreciated.

rage__against10
04-30-2011, 04:12 AM
Wow, i am really quite impressed with this track. It does a great job of being subtle - quite frankly i listened to it like 5 or 6 times in the background while i was setting up my keyboard. Your song writing is impeccable and it comes out in the layering, and then very methodical transitions. (namely bar 65 up until the solo). There is just a lot of mellow progression that creates a cool subtle vibe that is not too overbearing. And my only issue (and i think i saw someone mentioning it while i was scrolling) is some sour notes. on major one is bar 55, i ended up changing the pad to an A# or a G or something. just so it wasn't so dissonant - small things, but in a flawless song it can totally throw the atmosphere off. yeah - theres not a whole lot to say - i know if i were you i would skim through it and try and add a touch more variety on the drum track. not too much, but enough to keep it from being monotonous. and thats about it! thanks for checking out my track - if you want to see another i posted on called We Become - apparently people want to see more indie music, so ill see what i can do lol.
take care!