Groovy/technical metalcore ala PTH/Periphery (C4C) (GP5)


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BigBigWater
05-01-2011, 01:15 AM
Just posted this like a half hour ago as a WIP, finished though so thought I'd just make a new thread!

Just another piece like my other recent one inspired heavily by PTH and Periphery, as well as bits of BTBAM.

Just looking for some overall feedback on it! Thanks for any replies.

I'll be glad to crit back on something of yours as well!

dylann
05-01-2011, 02:56 AM
u forgot to attach haha

BigBigWater
05-01-2011, 03:02 AM
u forgot to attach haha
Oops. I've done that a few times now... Sorry, haha.

kylendm
05-01-2011, 11:40 AM
I actually like it which is odd cause I normally hate any kind of core shit on here. I get good by the end. The intro riff was pretty bland though.

I thought it was stupid you lowered one string but when I saw some chords later on it made more sense.

Erra93
05-02-2011, 07:30 AM
Wow, "The most epic chorusoutro." and on is just.. there are no words, damn it!

BigBigWater
05-07-2011, 10:02 PM
Thanks for the feedback guys! Anyone have more to add before I post another? Haha.

Mean Mr Mustard
05-07-2011, 11:34 PM
Here Ill try a crit:

Intro: Yep, pretty bland, agreed. With no beat, its not that interesting, I would consider changing making this your intro, its not exactly strong enough.

Tim Miller/Luke Hoskin: Interesting, but I would change the drums, I think they could make this section a lot better, especially at the second half of bar 11 and the first half of the next bar. A little awkward sounding.

(shitty verse): Pretty good sounding, but so far, theres not quite as much diversity as Id like. Also, the drums in bar 20 should be changed. The beat it does doesnt fit, Id try doing a fill that fits in with the odd rhythm of the guitars. Cool stuff though.

Rhythm: Very cool sounding! Didnt realize the weird tuning until now haha. Liked the lead over this and the chord change was great, no complaints here.

Grewve: Nice section, really nice section. Liked that brootal last C note haha.

Super sudden break: Yeah, it was definitely really sudden, it sounds like theres it could be made into a much better transition. Id recommend holding that last C note until the end of bar 40 and then at the start of bar 41, have the 1st guitar hit a B note for an eighth note, makes it more smooth. Bar 43, didnt really like that bass drum, it makes those triplets sound more out of place, and add a cymbal hit of some sort on that last beat.

Big Chorus: Was impressive, very strange chords, very original, well done, bravo.

Sickest Riff: Pretty sick, enjoyed it a lot actually. Really liked the harmony part too, especially that B in bar 11!

Yay: Sounds sorta like a forced continuation, could probably be considered filler and taken out, but thats just my opinion.

Brootech: Sounds better, I would probably get rid of that last section to be honest. Didnt like those triplets on the drums again though haha, it like amplifies the randomness ha.

Transition + Chorus: Yep, nothing to say here, was a great chorus, the transition was meh, but damn, that chorus was great. Really liked that subtle track 7 guitar. And that lead was incredibly catchy, the harmony truly made it ****ing epic. Very good job, great outro.

Overall: I think that overall, its like most of your songs. Has a ton of great individual sections, but as a whole is missing something. Its not coherent enough and some sections, if you listen to the first bar of each section, it seems like they dont do anything, they have no purpose, and just sound like a continuation of the one before it. Try doing what your influence BTBAM does, and repeat some riffs, try some slow drum beats, then some fast drum beats, a breakdown maybe, a dropout. Anyways, basically, great stuff, just...your songwriting could improve a bit. Keep working on it, and good job.

Id love to hear your opinion on C4C (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1434819) , as a C4C

JunKDepot
05-09-2011, 02:14 AM
that was a pretty interesting song, the intro was kinda meh, and i'd really suggest reworking the drums all around. they seem to be very lack luster. your guitar work is pretty impressive though, alot of the riffs sound plucked from PTH, which is something i wish i had the knowledge to do, haha.

also, that tuning is strange,,,strange beyond strange, but a very nice stylistic choice.

as for c4c, i'd love some on my most recent post http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1440317

thanks :)

MayoFTW
05-09-2011, 05:47 PM
As mentioned previously...

Intro - Pretty bland, maybe try changing dynamics - adding a fade in or something

The sickest riff - Definitely the sickest riff in the song.

The most epic... - Kind of cliche but it definitely works in this song.

I think this was said by someone above, but I think the song would be better if you could transition the sections better into one another. But overall, there are some pretty epic moments throughout.

C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1440513

Jawkster
05-09-2011, 08:23 PM
Interesting stuff mate. There's more ups than downs for sure, good effort.