GP5 Content WIP (Swallow the sky) Not djent c4c


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JunKDepot
08-15-2011, 10:54 PM
so yeah, this is a thing that's happening.

Critique and comments please?

I am in no way a decent guitar soloist., just to forewarn

leave me a crit and post a link and i'll return the favor

guitar_jew
08-16-2011, 02:57 AM
Why not djent? :P

It's a nice change of pace from all the other stuff I've been looking through on here. At first, that quick chord movement in the beginning didn't do it for me, but on a second listen through, it's great. As it's only a work in progress, there's not much to say, really. The mood feels aristocratic, like you're looking down on someone you know you dislike. (I don't mean that to be a bad thing- I love songs that feel that way, case in point here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2spjqRmQGRA) although it is very different from your piece. I'm talking mood here) That it feels at all is definitely a step or two above most of what gets put up here.

And to say you're not a decent soloist is just a lack of confidence. What you've got so far is actually rather enjoyable.

C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1468576

BigBigWater
08-19-2011, 01:08 AM
Thanks for the crit on my own piece, sir.

I apologize for how non-detailed this'll be, but this is rather different in a way then things I'm used to listening to and critting.

The intro is nice, a bit sudden, but it works.

I really like the mood the verse has. The bass feels great.

Chorus is alright. At this point I started being a little disappointed by the lack of an interesting/easy to follow/distinct melody. I see you say post-rock/metal, which in my head implies almost surely there aren't vocals intended either. Although, also, this is kind of a personal thing, seeing as I have an extremely short attention span with music and love to have something distinct to grasp onto, and as such am usually not fond of slow/atmospheric stuff. Personal opinion, I guess?

The start of the solo really bothers me, mostly the 4th measure of it, and also the 5th to an extent. My issue is how long it revolves around the same few notes. It just sounds really awkward to me, especially since it builds so much tension sort of, and the rest builds more, but by the end of what you have there's no real release still. I just feel the note choice needs to be slightly rethought out in places. Again, maybe it's just me, again this isn't a style I'm too well versed in.

I was bored, so here's a version with some small edits in the distorted sections that give you the idea of what I was thinking more of. AGAIN, not my style at all, so this'll probably all sound like nothing you meant to go for, haha.