[GPX] Ephemeral (Metal of some sort with baritone guitar)


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AtTheGates\m/
08-17-2011, 10:44 PM
New drums here now...
i'm not sure about them still though idk maybe i over complicate them or what i'm not sure what i do wrong should i not follow the guitar so much maybe? i'll still play around with them but that is the state it's now in.


Please tell me what genre you think this is.

Here are the lyrics to this song;

THE IMPERMANENCE OF A FLOWER
RIPPED FROM ITS ROOTS

DYING AND FADING
FALLING AND RISING

THE IMPERMANENCE OF A FLOWER
WASTING AWAY INTO THE WORLD

Dying and Rising
REBIRTH TOWARDS THE SKY

ONLY TO
DIE AGAIN
AN ENDLESS CYCLE

HAS NOW
ENDED
FOREVER

ALL STILL
REMAINS
Hidden Beauty

ELUSIVE
SPARK OF
PERSPECTIVE

NO ONE
IS LEFT
TO PERCEIVE

ALL KNOWLEDGE
ALL FEELING
ALL MEMORY
GONE FROM THIS PLACE


SUCH IS THE FATE OF US ALL

BloodReverence
08-17-2011, 11:36 PM
You asked for me to C4C you and I thank you for your crit but I'm not running guitar pro 6 yet! If you could convert it to GP5 or GP4 that would be great :)

BloodReverence
08-18-2011, 01:48 AM
K I've listened to it now. I really like the guitar parts. I think you should write it out in less... giant of time signatures, it makes it easier to keep track of it. I'm interested to hear this with the vocals on top.

The thing that REALLY needs work though is the drums. I don't think you really know how to program drums, or play them for that matter. If you improved the drums the quality of the song would go up TENfold. Seriously.

Peres.T.Peanut
08-18-2011, 10:03 AM
I'm digging the guitars, sounds strange but its a welcome kind of strange! The problem here are the drums really. Don't know if you wanted to create some weird atmosphere with making them like this, but it doesn't seem to work as they don't really give half to the song of what they take from the guitars.

Also, wtf are those time signatures? ahah

As for the genre I'd go with some progressive extreme. For some reason I keep thinking Deathspell Omega

AtTheGates\m/
08-18-2011, 10:10 AM
to tell you the truth i have never programmed drums before this which i see you noticed... i kind just made them to play around with i'll redo them though because it is true that they detract - i kind of listen to them like a metronome with the song and let my ego delude me into appreciating them. And as far as the time signatures i started playing guitar with weird time signatures so i make something up then when i fit it in guitarpro i make them really long like 24/4 or 16/4 so it fits nicely on the screen.

so ill redo the drums ( and look up what number is what type of drum) and asap record this and vocals and you'll see this in recordings

Peres.T.Peanut
08-18-2011, 10:42 AM
looking forward to it mate ;)

madbasslover
08-18-2011, 07:24 PM
I really like the guitar work in this, especially the Egyptian sounding bits like bars 14 and 15. As has been said before, the drums need a lot of work. It's hard to actually offer up a critique of this because the drums get in the way of what the song could be so much. With some proper drums this could be fantastic.

I'd also make it a little less repetitive. Perhaps add in some variations on sections of the song that repeat when they come up at different points in the song or write some new parts to space out each repeating section.

C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1471875

kylendm
08-21-2011, 11:48 AM
I agree with madbasslover. This is hard to crit because the drums are very everywhere. There really just isnt much of a flow in this song. There's some cool riffs in there but the bassist is gonna have a hard time following unless he's kinda experienced.