Sturm und Drang, Part II (Doom/Something?, GP5.2/4/MIDI, C4C)
View Full Version : Sturm und Drang, Part II (Doom/Something?, GP5.2/4/MIDI, C4C)
08-18-2011, 05:15 PM
Hello all. This one has been a long time coming. I meant to have it up a few weeks ago, but better late than never, I think?
Any, crit for crit and all that jazz. Lemme know how it flows. Love it, hate it, give me hoenst critiques! Thanks.
08-18-2011, 05:22 PM
Any reason for the german title?
08-18-2011, 06:08 PM
i like it and it flows well but it seems a bit too drawn out it's very like atmospheric feeling maybe put some like really attention grabbing leads in it too.
08-18-2011, 06:51 PM
I loved it dude! It has a really nice Ghost Brigade feel to it. I enjoyed mostly part B and, truth be told, I wouldn't change a thing about this one. Great job!
By the way, if you can, check my song, Tears ov the Slaves :p
08-18-2011, 07:14 PM
I thoroughly enjoyed this. I loved part B, it reminded me a bit of Opeth. Everything flowed together really well, the only thing I'd suggest is removing the tempo change at part D. The transition there when the tempo suddenly kicks up is a little outta left field and it threw me off a bit when I heard it. Other than that it was pretty much flawless. :cheers:
08-18-2011, 07:14 PM
^ Thanks for the kind words (both Peres and mbl), I'll get to it indeed. And eh, to me it smacks way more of The Fall of Every Season and Swallow the Sun. A Bit of Colosseum here and there too.
Any reason for the german title?
Read the OP of the Part I. It's in my sig.
08-21-2011, 08:33 AM
Seque: I love it.
A - Intro: I am really loving this melody. Very interesting, dark, and melancholy.
Band Enters: This is great. The slight dynamic switch was lovely. The drums are really well done here as well. Very atmospheric and not detracting from the dark melody.
B: This is a fantastic riff. So far this track is one of my favorites from you. The melody is unwaveringly dark as well. The time signature play is great as well. Very well done.
C: I love this riff. Very doom styled and follows up the previous melodies very well.
A-1: A nice alteration of the original riff. Sort of standard by your music writing though. You write these sorts of riffs in every song, and I love them every time; but it is a thing to point out. Regardless, it works well here to switch up the dynamics.
D: Not the biggest fan of the transition. I would add a bar or two with a transitioning riff so things flow better. Is this expected to be a choral section? If so, I would suggest some synths to counteract the simplicity of this section. Adding some more depth in this way would be cool, even if the synths just play the same chords.
C-1: The transition back into the doom was lacking, at least in the MIDI. I would do something similar as the other transition.
B- Outro: This is a good way to end the song. I love this riff, again. However, I would suggest throwing a lead over it to make it standout from the other usages in the song. Maybe something sort of post-rock/ambient/tremolo picked? Something stylistically like Mono (as you like them) would be sort of cool. Adding a little bit of grandiosity will change it up really well and really allow it to be a climax instead of just "there."
All in all, I liked this. A very good piece indeed.
08-21-2011, 09:22 AM
very cool dude... not really my cup of tea musically but I really enjoyed the originality
btw.... Sturm and Drang? Thats not German. Those are Talon Karrde's pet vornskrs. The reference is apro pos and your song reflects what we know Sturm and Drang to be... only barely domesticated carnivores who give one the impression they could explode at any time.
I'm pretty sure Im the only guy who gets the Sturm and Drang reference, but I love it. If thats the vibe you got going for this song it fits... wild, tapered aggression, somewhat exotic, mysterious... good job man
08-21-2011, 04:45 PM
Hm. Interesting to see what that other version of Sturm und Drang refers to actually.
You see, I just wrote this as part II of another song, which is in my sig. And that song, to me at least, reminded me of the "Sturm und Drang" period of Germanic art, specifically in classical music.
And Ula, thanks much for the kind words. I will indeed actually take that suggestion for the outro. I think that would put it over the top. And the transition to D is indeed lacking. As usual, you hit my thoughts on the button, really.
08-21-2011, 08:01 PM
Now record something for me to hear! ;-)
08-24-2011, 09:40 PM
Hey man sorry for taking so damn long to return your crit :haha:
Segue from part 1 was lovely, great atmosphere here.
Intro was nice, had a melancholic folky vibe going here, kinda reminds me of older opeth a bit. Band enters was good as well, although I felt the bass was a tad too high in the mix, at least coming through my speakers.
Transition into part B was kinda meh, I think a drum fill would help here a bit. That being said, part B was brilliant. Great layering here, also reminded me of earlier opeth stuff somewhat as well, which I love!
Transition into part C was decent, although I really didn't care much for the 3/4 feel after the 6/8 feel. Good dreary atmosphere here as well with all the ringing notes on the guitars and bass.
Ah the obligatory black metal tremolo section haha. Nice way to bring back the intro theme with a little spice added on. Transitions well back into section B, which is probably my favorite part of this song, it's brilliant!
Transition into part D was slightly abrupt, simply because of the tempo change. Section D was wonderful as well, but I think if the drums were improved on, it would really make this section stand out even more. I think it'd sound better if you gradually make them busier and eventually just have double bass come thundering in with the snare on 4, making a tasty half time beat. I'll include a file where I tampered with it a bit ;)
Return to section C was alright. I really didn't care for section C much, as there was not really any distinct melody or beat that stood out, it was kind of just a wall of sound. I dunno if that's what you were going for there, but that's kinda how it felt to me. It has a nice atmosphere to it, but that's just it; there's really nothing that stands out on any instrument. Idk, maybe it's just me, I don't really listen to this kind of music these days. :shrug:
Section B was a great way to end the song, although I think you should sustain that last chord and gradually fade out instead of just ending abruptly.
Anyways, hope I wasn't too much of an asshat and was somewhat constructive haha. Keep at it man :peace:
08-25-2011, 02:00 AM
:haha: Hey, thanks for the crit man! You arent on much obviously. :p: [to be fair I dont post all that much either aside from a few places]
But, I suppose I wish you had waited a day longer cause I've made some changes... just been really really lazy getting around to updating the thread.
In any case, thanks for the crit. Though this will likely be the last thing I post myself for a while, cause I'm kind of... needing to get away from it I guess? Tired of my style now as I've exhausted it? I guess I'm just gonna take a break and try to find some new inspiration without aiming for a style, just playing what I feel... The hard part is expressing it... And re-learning all the shit that I lost in my time of not really paying attention to technique and stuff. :p:
Oh, and yeah, C is an old as balls riff that's stuck with me forever and I never had a place for it... It is pretty much meant to be a wall of sound. Then again, most of my stuff recently has been meant to have some walls of sound here and there.
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