11 minute Prog Tech Death song [GP5, 4, Midi] C4C


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Kirborg
08-23-2011, 07:39 PM
Hey guys, this one took me three months but i'm really happy with the result

keep in mind i'm not a drummer so drums can be very cookie cutter at times

C4C, donīt expect u to crit the entire piece but just do what you see fit

FacetOfChaos
08-23-2011, 11:00 PM
I really really liked the clean guitar parts in the beginning. Everything came together to weave an interesting web of sound. The syncopation and note choice was nice.

The theme wasn't bad. I didn't like it as much as the beginning and I felt like it lasted a little bit too long. Perhaps adding some more variants/parts on top of the theme would help keep it interesting. the little break type section within the theme was a nice texture change. So far I've had no complaints with the bass.

The harddd section was greaaaat. I liked it a lot. I felt like there should maybe be some more prominent syncopation in there at some point but even so I thought it was a really cool section.

Interlude - yessssss. Continues the kind of cool, slightly twisted atmosphere from the previous section but the feel of it changed which was nice. 256-271 felt a bit empty to me.

Clean - I was going to say something about being tired with the rhythm used since it felt really similar to the last section (which just about used it up for me). Then the two clean guitars came in and started with the two different lines. It was decently implemented but I feel like you could do a lot more with the two separate lines. Maybe adding a bit more emphasis on counterpoint ideas. The lead guitar also came in which added some good difference from the last two sections. Nothing in the lead really spoke to me however.
Neeeeeed more varied rhythms. Getting tired of eighths and quarters, generally on every strong beat.
I liked the call and response in 432 bit.

The pulse change when it went back to 4/4 in the variation section was a welcome change.

The section with the meter changes was also a nice switch up. I liked the solo more this time for some reason. I didn't love it though.

I did listen to the rest of it but I don't really have anything new to say. More variation in the ending sections would be nice. I feel like after a certain point around the hard/interlude sections it kind of goes into a stasis and doesn't have enough to make it stand out very much from the other parts.

Overall it worked well. With a bit of tweaking and tightening up I think it could be super cool.

Don't worry about a return crit.

Kirborg
08-25-2011, 06:39 PM
that was EXACTLY what i was searching for in a crit. can definitely see what you're getting at with the rhythm getting stale at parts, i have a nasty habit of using to much straight eights and fourths. I really like the end solo but the other solos could use some revision in retrospect I agree.

much obliged.

RedDeath9
09-26-2011, 03:30 AM
The intro had some nice phrasing with the cleans. The rhythm that comes in at 17 is simple, but effective. It pushes the piece on nicely. The choir part has a really nice sound, nothing to complain about here...

Opbouw was a really cool part, once again simple but effective... Well-written, I suppose is the word I'm looking for. The theme is good. For some reason I didn't notice the acoustic chords until the repeat. I really liked those.

110 was awesome, nice change up.

Hard section was pretty cool... I swear I've heard 180 somewhere :p: Hm... Of course! The FFVII battle theme.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY1Vetd7OCs

Not similar enough to warrant change though.

Bar 206 was unexpected, and I'm not sure if I liked it to be honest. The "extension"... if you know what I mean. You seem to do it later on too, but this in instance, the fact that it's an "extension" isn't pronounced enough, I think... I was wondering if my GP just messed up and started playing the previous bar over again. I'm just trying to make sense of why I didn't like it, so I dunno how true all that stuff I just said was. The rest of that riff is cool though. 215-218 is awesome, you seem to know how to make... Dunno what to call those. It was a similar thing to 110, they are just catchy.

220 - Wow. Awesome change-up. Really like the bass and drums here.

Alright, I'll just go through what I like, because I can't really find any reaally negative parts to this song...

I love 272 to 306. And the clean is even better. Very well-written.

Haha, 369-372, you do that awesome transition thing again.

And holy shit, the way this next riff comes in, makes it sounds like it's going to be so badass. Aw, I'm a bit disappointed that it didn't continue that way when the drums came in. I was hoping for a sheer onslaught of badassery. The riff was still badass, but eh... Just sayin...

505 - Holy crap, where did that come from. It was a bit random, but it sounds ****ing awesome.

The revisit of the intro was a bit weirdly transitioned into, I think... Especially since that whole section serves as the outro of the song, I think it needs a better transition into that part. Or maybe it's the fact that it's in a different key?

631 and on was just awesome. Loved all of those chords, ESPECIALLY THAT LAST ONE, wow that was beautiful. 643, I mean.

Hmm, I didn't notice anything TOO wrong with the drums, but some variation is always welcome.

Bar 544 is awesome too, liked that chord.

In any case, pretty cool song. Pretty well-written, if I say so myself, could tell a lot of work was put into this. I didn't have any real complaints.