[Crit4Crit] "Sunrise," and "God Knows" [*.gp5/*.gp4/*.mid] [Progressive Metalcore]


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View Full Version : [Crit4Crit] "Sunrise," and "God Knows" [*.gp5/*.gp4/*.mid] [Progressive Metalcore]


Rokkstar
08-24-2011, 03:03 PM
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Alright, so now I just got to college and I have free time and a new laptop with GP5 on it. :D So if I haven't returned a critique to someone please PRIVATE MESSAGE me the piece that you want me to critique, and I will return it as soon as possible.

Sunrise is a rather different piece... Uses mostly the generic progression of metalcore in an attempt to make something rather interesting... It starts out and ends up in Major-Key but a majority of it is Minor. Tell me what ya think..?

God Knows is an epic Metalcore piece I wrote... I'm focusing morely on my Pop stuff right now though... But I finally put me a band together :3 So we'll be playing some of my music and rewrite it to fit everyone's taste. I don't know what else to say... Except... There's a glitch in the MIDI file I believe... I don't know how to fix it... The tempo accelerates smoothly in the GP5/GP4 files but in the midi, it is sudden and slows down... I don't know why... I believe it has something to do with the starting tempo of the piece glitching into it somehow... Regardless... Don't critique the song on that glitch... If you CAN... Listen to the GP5/GP4... :D

Crit4Crit

rockstar2be
08-24-2011, 03:42 PM
I liked it

Rokkstar
08-30-2011, 01:04 PM
I liked it
Do you mind elaborating? :\

PFC_91
08-30-2011, 03:44 PM
First of all, you've really shown that you've worked hard on this one. I like most of the parts, even though I'm not a metalcore fan at all. I do feel that you could have let some of the calmer parts keep going for a while longer, so that the oncoming heavy parts hit the listeners much harder. An example would be the beginning of the Build Up part. Just try to make an extended part with the piano and wait a while before going on to the part with the distortion guitar, as this gives the listener time to get used to it being soft, then add the guitar and other stuff. If you feel like it, try it. It might be a dead end, but it's always worth it to try different things.

Also, when you repeat the riff in the first verse, it might sound heavier if you add another layer to the harmony. If you want, I could give you an example (Just pm me.). I also found the clean vocal melody to be rather bland and boring. I am however not a big fan of metalcore, as I said earlier, so that might be normal for the genre. I might listen through it more carefully and give you a more thorough crit later. If you want, you can crit my little composition at http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1475463

//Especially nice work on the drums, by the way. There's only I few places I would change, and my opinion may change after hearing it a couple of times. Might come back to that at a later occasion.

Oh right, this was just about God Knows. I was multitasking, so I forgot about the other song. I'll try to remember checking Sunrise out when I've had some sleep.

Edit: I've changed one of the guitars slightly in the first verse, simply trying to achieve a heavier sound in the repeat of the riff. Might be complete shit, but in that case I'm too tired to hear it(It's almost 2am here). It was worth a try at least.

Jake the Peg
08-30-2011, 05:34 PM
thanks for the kind words man :)

critting Sunrise.
Its kind of an odd intro because its so happy and pop-punky, and then the harmonic minor section afterwards is so horrorful. I don't really like the use of the 32nd notes in Verse II&III, but I really like the acoustic guitar fade out at bar 106. I think the first section of the chorus horribly pop-punk, but the half time drop in the drums is effective.
I think the post-chorus is kinda pointless, and that the song would flow a lot better if it jumped straight into verse IV. I like this verse, but I think it'd be a little better if you kept the drums steady rather than switching between a heavier beat and a twostep. The drop at 179 is beastly! wasn't expecting that at all, really nice. It's a bit of a predictable rhythm i think but what the heck, I think it's fairly tasteful.
Overall, I think that this is quite a well written piece, but because I have a pet hate of pop punk and cheesy choruses, I don't really personally like it. Things that I'd change about the song if i were you: try not to drag sections out as much as you can. I'd try to slim down the intro, and the first two verses, to keep things interesting, as well as probably completely chopping out the post chorus.
nice one man :)