Progressive/Post Hardcore (GP5/4, midi)


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frankibo
09-05-2011, 08:15 AM
I wrote this while I was on holiday over the last few weeks. It's mainly Post Hardcore but I think it has some progressive elements to it.
Ignore the 4 bar solo I've written, it's terrible, it's only there to fill the space, I'll write a better solo some other time.
Not sure about vocals yet, let me know if you think it needs it and where?

C4C as per usual.

Mean Mr Mustard
09-07-2011, 11:11 PM
The whole intro was pulled off incredibly well. I honestly did not even know how the hell a 3/8 hi hat ostinato over a 4/4 beat with a 5/8 bass pattern underneath would fit together, but it did, and it sounded pretty effortless, not forced at all. Jazz Chords was pleasant to hear, I like the drums transitioned through each bar and time signature there. The Drum and Bass section was nice too, but the Funk section cut the flow for a bit. It sort of comes back with the solo again, but then the distorted riff cuts the flow again. You might want to work on that part of the song there.

As for that first distorted section, I wasn't a fan of the half-steps and chromatic things, but just accept that I typically don't ever enjoy sections like that. The Clean Break up next was heavenly, it sounded perfect in everywhere. Beautiful. Loved that 11/8 bar. The distorted section it leads into was actually transitioned to well. The solo over top was good, had a very happy feel to it, try to give it a harmony at bar 125, that'd make it wonderful :)

Chordage continued that happy feel nicely, enjoyed that part. Sugue wasn't really what I was expecting, and I cant say that I liked that as a transition between parts. It might even be better to just go right into that tapping section? Anyways, the tapping was nice sounding, both in clean and distortion. Great drum fills in the next section, the drums never really let down in the entire song, very impressive stuff going on with that.

The funk comes back and I think it sounds out of place here as well :/ I like that you're branching out to all sorts of different feels and moods, but I really don't think it fits well with the rest of the song. Unneccesary tension was pretty clever though, it somehow worked and went into the next section well. The strings coming in certainly had that "epic" feel to it, similar to that distorted tapping section earlier. And then I guess the song ends.

Pretty darn impressive man. It seems like you really brushed up on your music theory lately, your older songs never seemed quite this advanced. The way that this sounds is as if it's like a showcase of your writing, but it doesn't quite as well as a song. Its just that there are those few spots where the song loses it's flow and things don't belong well. That's really the only complaint from me. Each section on its own is phenomenal...its just the "randomness" of some of it. This makes me appreciate you a whole more as a writer, but as a song, it doesn't really do it for me. Amazing parts though, great job there.

EDIT: Oh yeah and I don't think vocals would fit well either. Sure, some parts I could see having vocals, but there are far too many sections where vocals would not fit that it'd be pointless to include them.

Now this feels silly, but would mind taking like 3 minutes to listen to my overly simple pop sounding rock song? haha, I'd just like some thoughts on it, it'd be here (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1478116)

frankibo
09-08-2011, 07:10 AM
Thanks for the crit, I'm gonna look at those transitions. Added a harmony to the solo.

Kaz3-6-0
09-18-2011, 04:47 PM
I agree with the guy above, the intro was really good, it pulled me into the song. I like the way you branch out everywhere, sort of sounds like Mr. Bungle. I like the way the bass sticks out, but still fits in the song, and keeps the flow going while the guitar repeats itself. The way you had two parts playing the same thing just an eighth note apart was incredible, it really gave the song some life. the song works well just by itself, without any vocals, but when you record this, I suggest leaning back on the gain a bit in the "Chordage" area; it sort of kills the soft arpeggios. Great job!

guitar_jew
09-19-2011, 04:20 AM
I meant to crit this when you put it up, but I kept forgetting, and when it fell off the front page, I forgot about it. Sorry for that.

I didn't pay too much to all the nuances that the markers pointed out, but I can say they all work very well. Nothing sounded odd or off, so I think it's safe to say that they're all in place properly. The jazzy chords are nice, and the drums that come in eventually were great. The hi-hats were excellent.

The funk bit came in waaaaaay out of left field. Once it got going, it was great, but the transition was awful, and way too sudden.

For a short solo, I don't mind the shred. It works here.

Syncopate and Synchronise, for some reason, called Super Mario World to mind. The section feels oddly out of place here.

Stopgap and all the leads that come in over it are excellent. Everything's in order, through chordage, no complaints. I do have to complain about the segue. It feels like a build-up, and that just gets dropped into the very spare sounding chord tapping, which by itself is excellent. Again, the transition is what bothers me.

Awesome bass lead. Loving that.

The Arpeggiator deserves its own separate paragraph, even though the one above it is only five words. This section is sex. I can't even begin to tell you how awesome that section is. Bar 218, if properly recorded would be one of those moments that gives you a chill whether you want it or not. I recognize that it's basically a repeat of the intro motif, but the harmonies really do make it that much better. Keep that, no matter how else you may or may not cut up the song.

The transition to the funk wasn't so bad this time, though it is still a little weird. As I said before, it's great on its own.

I like the almost dance vibe that the 'unnecessary tension' has. Good groove, there. And the explosion with all the layers is epic. That's an internet cliche, sure, but it's the only word that fits that section, really.

Mostly good job, just smooth out some of those sudden transitions, and you've got yourself solid gold right here.

C4C? Not nearly as much to say about mine, really, but I'd appreciate the feedback. http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1481014

world-ablaze
09-19-2011, 05:59 AM
Hey dude, thanks heaps for the crit. Listening back, I don't know what I was thinking with the end breakdown. It seemed like a good idea at the time :haha: Definitely gonna swap that out for an outro that actually works.

Now to your song. Critting as I listen:
Loved the intro progression, and when the second guitar came in, man, it complimented the arpeggios perfectly. Well done.
The polyrhythm on the drums was really cool, really seamless too which I liked. The bass line was great too, and the 11/8 melody was awesome. (I think this crit could end up just being me telling you all the stuff I liked haha)
The transition to the jazzy chords section was fantastic, the change worked really well. I liked the funk part too but the transition into it seemed kinda random. I'm guessing you were probably going for that effect though, haha.
I loved the Stopgap, and the lead after that was brilliant. I love how despite the different time signatures you use, it totally flows. Really impressed by this part especially. The transition into the distorted riff worked really well too.
I loved the chordal tapping, that was pulled off so well. The whole bass melody idea was really cool too. Loved the clean part after, and I think the transition into the funk sounded better this time. HAHA, that short bass solo was awesome. Sweet riff afterwards.

When the strings came in it sounded immense, SO EPIC. Awesome ending to the song. Overall, I loved it, you've got soo many awesome ideas in there. You're clearly a very skilled writer :) However some of the transitions between the different moods were kind of sudden, I dunno, in a way it kinda worked cause it's really surprising, but some of them could be a bit smoother, the main culprit imo being the first funk one.

Sorry if this was way too positive and not critical enough but I was so impressed by this dude. Keep writing like this and I can't see you not getting somewhere with it.

JCAshworth247
09-20-2011, 05:20 PM
Returning crit
Overall it was very random but pretty good, most of the polyrhythms and polymeters flowed impressively well but I personally think the rhythm starting at "Chordual Tapping" sounded a little forced.
All the sections sounded great though. My favorite was "Lead slides in" then "Palm Mute Drive" lol, then "11/8 Clean Lead" then "Syncopate and Synchronize"
Too random though, I had to reread the info on your post to make sure it wasnt some sort of polyrhythm experiment

Life Is Brutal
09-20-2011, 11:11 PM
Very great overall, and awesome sound throughout. Really great, thoughtful, themes. Seriously, some of the themes in this piece are really amazing. :haha:

The only possibly problem was that I felt some sections transitioned too suddenly, such as the funk section, and the first jazzy chord section, but those are minor, and the funk section probably doesn't segue as well because its Guitar Pro.