The Back of My Car (Pop/Punk/Rock) C4C


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Mean Mr Mustard
09-07-2011, 10:42 PM
Hey guys, I haven't posted anything on here in such a long time. This is a new song I just wrote today, and it's a pretty good example of what I'm trying to go for now. It's got sort of a light feel to it throughout.

Anyways, just give me your thoughts on the song in general, or the instruments, or the lyrics, the vocals, whatever you want. This one's a little weaker than a few of the ones I'm working on, so I figured Id put this one up for help. The Guitar Solo and the Bridge are where I may change Guitar I a bit.

Gladly will C4C too.

Thanks :)

frankibo
09-08-2011, 05:11 AM
To say that was unrelentingly upbeat would be an understatement!

Firstly, thanks for the detailed crit.
Secondly, this is excellent. All of your work has a strong air of professionalism surrounding it, it's quite impressive. The vocals and lyrics especially were excellent.
The only part that stood out to me as weak was the solo, it was a bit of a non-event.
Also I noticed one bar I would have changed slightly, I've attached an edited tab of it, I think it flows better this way.
Apart from that I'm honestly not sure what could be improved, the riffs were catchy, the drums very fitting for the relevant sections and the bass embellished the piece well. It's a pretty outstanding pop punk song.

jtaf
09-08-2011, 07:34 PM
Even though pop-punk is not really the stuff I enjoy the most, I quite liked your song. It was very melodic, undeniably well written and the bass was amazing. However, there were some things I didnt like.
Like frankibo said, the solo was very bland, and it was too low in the mix. If it werent for the markers in the tab, I almost wouldnt have noticed it was there. Also, I think you should remove some of the x notes in the verse guitar. That sort of start-stop rhythms is better suited for choruses, in my opinion.
I enjoyed the lyrics, but they could be a little more memorable. By the way, is the title an homage to Paul McCartney's Back Seat of my Car?
All in all, its a pretty good song, but I definitely see some room for improvement.

C4C?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=28020093#post28020093

Mean Mr Mustard
09-08-2011, 08:30 PM
^Frankibo, thanks man, glad to hear you liked it, and I liked your variation on that bar, Ill try it out when I jam it.

And both of you are saying the solo is a little bland, I agree with that, I'm not sure what to put there, but there needs to that section there before going into the chorus again. Oh and jtaf, that's my favorite McCartney song (post-beatles), so that's what popped in my head immediately too haha.

CanIbeDanny?
10-20-2011, 01:13 AM
At first I was like "ugh, heard this progression on every other pop punk song" but you made it your own. The solo is a little weak and in my opinion, unneeded. It's basically reiterated in the bridge, which I liked a lot. Your lyrics also made me wut. "It's like your insides are made for me" reminded me of ed gein.

Mean Mr Mustard
10-20-2011, 07:07 PM
At first I was like "ugh, heard this progression on every other pop punk song" but you made it your own. The solo is a little weak and in my opinion, unneeded. It's basically reiterated in the bridge, which I liked a lot. Your lyrics also made me wut. "It's like your insides are made for me" reminded me of ed gein.
Hahaha I was thinking more along the lines of somebody's heart, not their bloody organs, but whatever. Thanks for the crit :p:

Rokkstar
12-18-2011, 10:18 PM
I really enjoyed this track. But I didn't think the Chorus hit hard enough. Like I feel like there could've been a stronger PUNCH to it. Ya know? The verses and intro were great. And the guitar "solo" was a bit of a hype lol. I feel like this section needs stronger guitarring and weaker drumming... To emphasize melody over rhythm.. Ya get what I'm saying? The bridge starts out kinda iffy but it develops into being alright for the song. I think it's an honest-7.5/10. I would love to see a recording.

herby190
12-24-2011, 03:42 PM
I thought this was pretty good, and the vocals were really catchy. That being said, I think you could do something more with the backing. I'm not very good at tabbing vocals in GP, but I did my best to give an idea of what I mean.

C4C? The same thread I've been using forever (link in sig) has new material.