Rain (Pop/Punk/Rock) C4C


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Mean Mr Mustard
09-08-2011, 09:25 PM
This is a song I wrote today while it was raining, which inspired me to do something a little darker and heavier. The energy behind the intro and verse riff probably don't transfer that well over to guitar pro, but hey, you can use your imagination.

Anyways, yeah, comment on how the song flows, your opinion in general of it, the vocals/lyrics, or whatever else you think about it.

C4C of course, thanks

Joshua1207
09-08-2011, 10:27 PM
I liked the chord progression. Reminds me of like a school musical or something, but in a scene where a guy is looking outside while its raining and he starts singing something motivational, you know? I enjoyed the lead part in the beginning, it sounded great and fit well. Even the vocals were nice too.
The transition to the chorus was kind of mediocre though. I enjoyed the transition back to the verse though. The solo for the most part was fine, I'm sure it sounds much better IRL. I didn't really like the part at 78-80 though on the lead. Just didn't fit well to me.

Overall, pretty well done song. I would be proud if I were you. Just a few things I'd change.

If you want critic me back http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1442418

182below0
09-10-2011, 01:55 PM
Thanks for your crit.
-I really liked the intro riff, I thought it sounded really good with the chord progression.
-I didn't enjoy the verses as much, you mainly stuck with two chords and the melody wasn't as strong in the verses as it was in the chorus.
-Speaking of which, I really liked the chorus. And I disagree with the guy above me, I thought the transition from the verse to the chorus worked really well.
-So did the transition back to the verse.
-54-58 sounds really good too, especially when the second guitar comes in.
-I loved the solo, it wasn't super flashy, but I think it fit perfectly with the mood of the song.
-I didn't really like the harmonies in the outro, I'm not sure why, but the just didn't sound that great to me.

Overall I liked it, I would just change a couple of things, like the harmonies at the end or maybe the chord progression in the verses, just to give them more variety and to keep them interesting.

Mean Mr Mustard
09-10-2011, 02:33 PM
Thanks for your crit.
-I really liked the intro riff, I thought it sounded really good with the chord progression.
-I didn't enjoy the verses as much, you mainly stuck with two chords and the melody wasn't as strong in the verses as it was in the chorus.
-Speaking of which, I really liked the chorus. And I disagree with the guy above me, I thought the transition from the verse to the chorus worked really well.
-So did the transition back to the verse.
-54-58 sounds really good too, especially when the second guitar comes in.
-I loved the solo, it wasn't super flashy, but I think it fit perfectly with the mood of the song.
-I didn't really like the harmonies in the outro, I'm not sure why, but the just didn't sound that great to me.

Overall I liked it, I would just change a couple of things, like the harmonies at the end or maybe the chord progression in the verses, just to give them more variety and to keep them interesting.
Hmm I just re-listened to that outro, and yeah, that harmony is definitely off, I probably should've realized that earlier. Thanks for your crit, but I think I'll keep the verses the same, they're supposed to be about the energy and vocals there.


^Joshua, I might change the solo, since that's the first draft, and I usually end up changing little parts in my solos. And were you talking about the transition to the distorted chorus or to the clean chorus or both? Thanks for the crit by the way

Joshua1207
09-10-2011, 02:55 PM
In my above post I was referring to the transition to the distorted chorus, but upon more listens the transition to the clean chorus wasn't that good either but I think the abruptness makes that one fit.

JCAshworth247
09-20-2011, 05:01 PM
I like the intro of this one much more than the sad song, except bars 14 and 15 dont sound right, at least not on Guitar pro, probably because the lead played an e while rhythm played an F and so it sounded kinda bad for a second
anyway I like the lyrics a lot and the chorus was good too. the solo was good up to bar 77, the 15th fret on the b string sound off key when bent a full step, i would bend it a half or 1.5 steps.
Only minute problems in this song imo so very good overall
except its pretty short
but i liked the rain fx

robertito696
09-24-2011, 07:56 PM
Thanks for the crit
I'm not a huge fan of pop punk, or punk for that matter sans some black flag and gg allin, but I quite enjoyed that. I think the chorus could use a more interesting rhythm, just something small to break up the straight 8th notes. Past that though there's not much else that bothered me. A few bits in the solo sound off but I think it's GP being lame. it was short and to the point, which I like.

CanIbeDanny?
10-20-2011, 01:08 AM
I like it for the most part. I feel that you kinda played it safe though. For example, after the solo, a nice bridge that changed keys for a little while could have been cool. The outro was a little long, you could shave about 4 bars off of it before the big resolving chord+waves.

gabrielcev
10-21-2011, 01:53 AM
That last bend at the end of the solo is epic...

herby190
11-03-2011, 11:00 PM
The vocals melodies were pretty good, and the solo was great. My only major complaint is that the intro felt really weak; in my opinion, the drums should be replaced with something more driving, and a little more straightforward. Also, on the first beat of the clean chorus, I thought it had a much better feel if the overdriven guitar held a Gm chord while the clean guitar played, the drums crashed, the bass played a G; then, right before going back to distortion, have a bass slide and/or a quick part on the drums. It made it a lot more powerful, in my opinion. Overall, I liked this.

C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1413914

Shaharz
11-04-2011, 06:09 AM
Hey dude
I actually went to your song on purpose just cause I really want your opinion on my last thing :P
Everything of yours that I've heard reallly relied on the vocals to kinda give the song life. I just wrote my first piece that tries something like that, so I thought you're the one I should be asking for a crit :cheers:

Well, lets go:
Starts great. I love how you always write stuff that are pretty musically simple, yet always feel like there was a lot of thought put into them. That's very Steven Wilson of you :P

Verse is cool. Chorus adds a lot of energy in a very good way and I liked it a lot.
I liked the way the second chorus starts, with that clean stuff, but I'm not sure I like the way the band kicks in after that. It's too on-the-beat, if you know what I'm saying.

The solo is good, but has some problems imo. That bend at 77 is just weird. I tried changing it to a half-note bend, it makes a lot more sense that way.

Outro is good. Liked the lyrics there.


Overall the song is really catchy and fun, while still a bit dark. In a way it reminded me of Porcupine Tree, which is great.

For the return crit, check out "Staring At Flames" in my sig :)

From Your Grave
11-16-2011, 03:24 AM
Just a few things to say about this one, I LOVED the intro. The solo complemented the mood perfectly in my opinion, and flowed into the verse nicely. Then the way the verse transitioned into the chorus, sounded awesome, but if you threw in one or a few of herby's suggestions, it could be even better. I know you said it was your first draft but the solo I thought, could have gone on longer. If you were to keep this idea I would maybe change/remove 78-80 to accommodate for a little more solo after that last bend. I just felt like I was left hanging, and there should have been kind of a descension after the bend to lead into the outro.