Flood (Sad Pop-Punk)


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Mean Mr Mustard
09-14-2011, 05:04 PM
So this is another one of my new songs, so I'm putting this up for critique. It's influenced a lot by brand new and some heavier pop-punk acts, since it gets a little heavy in the chorus sections while the verse sections are more calm.

Anyways, I'd love your thoughts on it, and I will definitely C4C anyone who takes the time to listen. I'd like to know your opinion of the music, the feel, the vocals, and the lyrics.

EDIT: Put some mad delay on the intro, changed up the drums in the intro

FacetOfChaos
09-14-2011, 05:54 PM
There wasn't really anything here that hasn't been done before, but that doesn't matter. I enjoyed it. The lyrics piled on top of each other at some points so I couldn't read it all sadly. Even so, I think that it fulfilled its purpose and hit the mark with what you were aiming for. I liked the harmonized vocals.

Mean Mr Mustard
09-14-2011, 07:55 PM
Thanks man, glad you enjoyed it. I agree, I'm not really going for being outrageously original anymore, I'm just trying to write exactly what I enjoy playing, and that's how I enjoy music the most.

STONESHAKER
09-14-2011, 09:55 PM
Well, this isn't really my kinda music, but here it goes.

First chord progression is good. The little turn-around that comes in with the little rake is nice too, both are nice ideas. The drums underneath these harmonies can be a little repetitive at times, but the vocal lines are well done and, appropriately, the focus of the song. The chorus felt like a natural extension of the ideas in the verse, but I liked the interlude the best.

Anyhow, like I said, not my kind of music, but it does what you want it to do.

DonWeaso
09-14-2011, 10:07 PM
I liked it alot, to be honest. This is my kind of music. I loved the vocal melody and the chord progressions throughout the song. My only complaint would probably be that the drums are pretty repetitious, but that's sort of what to expect from this genre.

Shaharz
09-15-2011, 01:56 PM
I think UG should get together and make a country song called "Crittin' as I go". It's got a good ring to it.

Any way, crittin' as I go :P


Starts off simple and well. Everything is a bit too much on-the-beat for my taste, I would mix it up a bit... the plucking, the bass or at least the drums with some off-beat kicks and stuff.
The vocals are good. Catchy, kinda sad and fun.
The chorus is catchy. Left me wanting more of it. I think if you add some melody between vocals to kinda complement the singing, it would make it much more awesome.
I liked that "this was me" part as well. Made me wanna sing along.

The interlude was really good. So good I actually thing you should make it longer, maybe even harmonized. That would be really good.
The ending was great as well.

Now, even though it's not what we're supposed to crit here - the lyrics really got to me. Good writing there as well.


If you'd be so kind as to return the crit... here ya go:
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1480045

camrawrs
09-15-2011, 08:36 PM
This song is pretty awesome. The lyrics made me sad but kind of in a good way? Tigers Jaw kind of way? Kinda reminded me of a heavier Tigers Jaw. Sick.

Mean Mr Mustard
09-16-2011, 01:57 PM
This song is pretty awesome. The lyrics made me sad but kind of in a good way? Tigers Jaw kind of way? Kinda reminded me of a heavier Tigers Jaw. Sick.
Thanks man, I love Tigers Jaw, so you could definitely say they influence me. A heavier Tigers Jaw is pretty much exactly what I'm going for (mixed with some Brand New and other influences), so your description nailed it. I really appreciate your opinion though, especially since your band is awesome

TheBigProjekt
09-17-2011, 06:40 PM
Thanks for critting my piece.

Intro seemed a bit generic, but then again, it's Pop-punk, generic isn't exactly something out of the ordinary. As I was listening, the chord progression was nice, it was catchy, but not overly bright; it fit the song well. I'd also like to compliment on your vocal melody, the entire set of vocals were pretty cool! I loved the feel it gave and how everything flowed together. I myself would put a big, distorted chorus in the song after a huge build up.. Think Adam's Song by blink-182. The interlude was pretty neat as well. I didn't exactly expect it, but even without vocals it had a nice mood set over the entire song. Overall, this song is really good! I'd be interested in listening to a recorded version and I'd definitely buy music from you! 9.5/10!

MorbidAngel1989
09-19-2011, 09:17 PM
First of all thank you for critting my piece. Now onto this one. The intro part was a bit generic as some have said before. Granted it's in the a punk song but a little more variation in note choices could've helped there. The chorus served it's purpose though again maybe invert some chords or something. The interlude was a nice surprise. Though the vocals are definitely the stand out here. I don't have too much experience with vocals on GP and wish I could do that. Really well done. Overall it had that catchy, epic sound kinda like what I have been hearing in Defeater (am having an obsession with Defeater right now.)But yeah I guess in the end someone who really likes pop punk would like this. Just spice it up a bit here and there and you're good.

JCAshworth247
09-19-2011, 10:49 PM
Very emotional.
I liked the chorus the most probably, and i liked how you used rests at the end of the 2nd verse in the vocals also.
The outro was great, the swapping vocals and harmony sounded awesome.
I thought the interlude was going to be too predictable, but it wasnt, luckily.
The weakest part of the song imo is the intro, just because it was nothing special, although it does tie the song together and set the mood.
Even though I barely listen to this genre, I liked the song. I'll look at more pop-punk songs tomorrow, i must sleep now

Mean Mr Mustard
09-20-2011, 07:59 AM
Overall it had that catchy, epic sound kinda like what I have been hearing in Defeater (am having an obsession with Defeater right now.)But yeah I guess in the end someone who really likes pop punk would like this. Just spice it up a bit here and there and you're good.
Yeah man, Defeater is one of my favorite bands, I'm glad it got compared to that, quite a compliment. I'll work on the intro a bit since that seems like the only constant complaint. Thanks for the crit.
Very emotional.
I liked the chorus the most probably, and i liked how you used rests at the end of the 2nd verse in the vocals also.
The outro was great, the swapping vocals and harmony sounded awesome.
I thought the interlude was going to be too predictable, but it wasnt, luckily.
The weakest part of the song imo is the intro, just because it was nothing special, although it does tie the song together and set the mood.
Even though I barely listen to this genre, I liked the song. I'll look at more pop-punk songs tomorrow, i must sleep now
Thanks for listening man, appreciate it. Yeah, the intro is nothing special, but it's mostly about the lyrics there.

Does anyone have any suggestions for improving the intro?

frankibo
09-20-2011, 08:24 AM
Does anyone have any suggestions for improving the intro?

Some ridiculous delay on the clean guitar part, a more interesting strumming pattern for the acoustic, some ambient synth in the background, a more interesting drum part (snare rolls, ride fills using the bell, more bass hits). Nothing too drastic and over the top, you don't want it to become overwhelming, just something a little more.

It's a very simple song but it's a really nice piece to listen to, I love the vocal parts. It could just use some embellishment to make it a bit more interesting because it's currently little more than just on the beat chords.

mka12992
09-20-2011, 05:28 PM
I think that my problem with the intro is it gets a little boring/repetitive. I think that just playing quarter notes throughout kinda just feels uninteresting. But I agree with the consensus, besides the intro, the song is pretty good. I like the lyrics, and I like the melody. As others before me have said, the interlude is nice, I think that you've got the style you're going for down, I could definitely see this with some Tiger's Jaw style vocals. I changed the intro up a bit, just to jog your mind. I wouldn't say it's any better/less generic per se, but it's really just try and get ideas going. Let me know what you think. I feel like we have a rather similar style of writing.

And I know you've already taken a look at a couple of my songs, but I wrote a new one that I'd like you to look at if you have the time. http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1480956

I'll gladly crit more of yours in return.

herby190
11-04-2011, 07:19 PM
I came here hoping to even us up a bit, seeing as you sat through a nine-ish minute song in return for me critting your three-ish minute one. :haha:

Sadly, there's not much I can say; I can see the Brand New influence. My band's actually taken on that type of sound recently, and I have to say, it's a beautiful thing. Your lyrics fit the mood very well, and vise versa, and I adore the chorus. Well done.

From Your Grave
11-16-2011, 03:05 AM
I was just looking through all your songs to get some musical inspiration because you're one of the best composers I've stumbled across on UG and thought I'd throw some input on this one. I liked mka12992's version of the intro more, but even that I have a couple more ideas to change it up that I think would sound nice. I'm not sure how well his version would work with delay though.

Anyways, as an avid pop-punk enthusiast I thought this was pretty well done. It had the typical layout structure, the strong chord progression, and some great vocals. I can see myself listening to it on an album, and it would be one of those songs where I would listen to it with the rest of the songs, but it wouldn't be my favorite. It's a great transitional track for an album as well. I felt like there should be more lead guitar work, to complement the vocals, just something simple. I also felt like the interlude should have been 16 bars longer, but it should get heavier in those 16 bars, most likely some harmonization would be perfect, and maybe some more technical drums.

That's about all I thought of when listening to it. :)

Mean Mr Mustard
11-16-2011, 02:43 PM
I was just looking through all your songs to get some musical inspiration because you're one of the best composers I've stumbled across on UG and thought I'd throw some input on this one. I liked mka12992's version of the intro more, but even that I have a couple more ideas to change it up that I think would sound nice. I'm not sure how well his version would work with delay though.

Anyways, as an avid pop-punk enthusiast I thought this was pretty well done. It had the typical layout structure, the strong chord progression, and some great vocals. I can see myself listening to it on an album, and it would be one of those songs where I would listen to it with the rest of the songs, but it wouldn't be my favorite. It's a great transitional track for an album as well. I felt like there should be more lead guitar work, to complement the vocals, just something simple. I also felt like the interlude should have been 16 bars longer, but it should get heavier in those 16 bars, most likely some harmonization would be perfect, and maybe some more technical drums.

That's about all I thought of when listening to it. :)
Thanks for the kind words man, there's nothing better to me than a compliment on my songs :) As for the intro, I'd put some delay overtop, and maybe a synth part in the background, and hopefully it'd come across a lot better with real instruments. Also, I intend to make some lead parts for the song, or at least in the chorus. I'll probably try to work on this a bit later today and see what I can do. Thanks again.