Blessing [Progressive Instrumental Filled With Optimism] C4C


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Shaharz
09-15-2011, 01:30 PM
Hey UG

Been a while since I posted anything here... Actually been a while since I wrote something worth posting... Got a lot of cool half-done projects, but it will be some time before they're ready for your judgement.

So for now, I'll give you something short and rather simple I wrote last week when I was in a very good mood. It's called "Blessing" and it's in a 5/8 time signature because I'm cool that way.

C4C as always, though if it's after this weekend it may take me a week or so to answer.
Also, please leave links, I hate looking all over the forum.


Hope you enjoy it :)

ThrasherSkater
09-15-2011, 03:25 PM
Dude that was beautiful, the melodies were great, for some reason I felt happy although it's freaking hot out here (we're neighbors btw, I'm from Lebanon :D). Anyway I really like it, particularly the jazzy parts. Have you thought about throwing a lead line for the hell of it? like rock/metal/progressive at some point before it ends?

Shaharz
09-15-2011, 03:34 PM
Dude that was beautiful, the melodies were great, for some reason I felt happy although it's freaking hot out here (we're neighbors btw, I'm from Lebanon :D). Anyway I really like it, particularly the jazzy parts. Have you thought about throwing a lead line for the hell of it? like rock/metal/progressive at some point before it ends?

Cool bro. Yeah, the middle east is f'in hot. Yesterday I had to be in the sun all day and I didn't even have a hat and I was pretty sure I was going to die. But here I am :P

Anyway, I didn't really think about throwing in any riff or anything. I didn't really think about anything actually, this thing kinda just wrote itself.

Mean Mr Mustard
09-15-2011, 06:38 PM
Hey man, thanks for the kind words you left on my song :) Now I'm excited to listen to your optimistic tune haha, I've been down all day listening to some Brand New, maybe this will brighten my day.

Anyways, as I go:
The intro was nice, easy to follow for 5/8 once the drums come in. Not really getting a happy vibe from the song, but it's only the beginning. But when that clean lead comes in, mmm that sounds good. Really liked bars 42-43 as it transitioned into that next part. Choir sounded nice. The A2 was pretty insane. It was incredibly melodic but still technical. Nice job there. I didn't think it really transitioned well into B2 though. Maybe a drum fill would work.

C2 was pretty epic, I liked it. The harmony was great, and the lead itself was good too. D was nice as a change of pace, and had some 4/4 in there which was nice. Didn't really like the strings at 104, not because of the staccato, but because of the dissonance. E sounded pretty good to me, nice harmony again. A3 fits a lot better now. C3 was epic once again. Finished the song quite strongly.

Overall, it sounded good to me. I didn't think it was anything amazing, but it definitely sounded good and you conveyed what you wanted to. It didn't feel overly happy, but it definitely had this other type of mood to it throughout. Anyways yeah, nice work.

RedDeath9
10-01-2011, 01:51 AM
The intro sounds very airy, and I like how it flows once the drums come in. I'm a sucker for polymeters.

B is cool too, but I don't like how C starts. I see what you tried to do there, you used that first crash/kick note to "lead" into the rest of the bar or something... It's hard to explain, but it seems to throw the rest of the bars off, and make it rhythmically very hard to follow. I'm not sure if you'll understand what I'm trying to get at. It could have been a cool section, but the drums threw it all off. I realize it was still polymetric though.

The volume of the lead guitar is a bit loud in C2. Hmm, C seems to make a bit more sense this time around... It takes a while to get used to that rhythm though. Perhaps there is a clearer drumline you could use? By the way, I LOVED the lead in the second half of C2. Bar 84 especially. Something about that.... Sounds so sad, nostalgic, gah... I don't know.

D-E all flows really well, despite all the time sig changes.

I imagine the way E transitions into A3 would sound AWESOME in a real song. The GP didn't really do it justice. I love how you let the chords ring through it. Concerning the rest of the song, there really isn't anything else to complain about. So yeah, good job!

KirkChicoHammet
10-10-2011, 06:09 PM
Well, thanks for the lazy crit in my thread :D

As for the song:

Intro/a - It left me in anticipation for what was gonna happen next, and didn't disappoint me :D

B - The melody in B was really cool, although I must be in the mood to listen to those kind of melodies

C - I liked the choirs here, but for me it sounded a bit bland... The melody was a bit "weak" for me there...

A2 - I found A2 a bit spacy, but it was still cool, melodic and rather technical... Nice :)

Then, there was D - With all these time signature changes, but, still, it wasn't... unnatural, it did go well.

As for the melody in E - it didn't sound great as it should have :D but that was GP is fault.But I'm sure, if this is recorded it will sound great :)

Overall, nice song, a bit dreamy for me, but it was nice.

Joshua1207
10-11-2011, 10:48 PM
I enjoyed the intro, it sounds oddly familiar. I enjoyed B too, the medley the electric one plays is very nice. I also liked the mini solo at A2, very well done. C2 was pleasant as well, the distortion sounds uplifting.
E was kind of boring, but I could see that easily being fixed with vocals over the top. Also, I don't really care for C2 or C3 either, just sounds cheesy, if that makes sense. That's probably the worst part of the song, although the song as a whole is real good.

If you could critic back http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1486423

~Flounder~
10-12-2011, 01:05 PM
C2 and C3 were awesome! really remind me of Liquid Tension experiment, especially the theme reprise in "universal mind". Cool song, but it kinda got boring with the same drum rhythm playing the whole time. I also liked the like time sig changes you threw in to change up the feel every once in a while