'Anonymity' ambient rock (GP5/4) C4C


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guitar_jew
09-19-2011, 03:51 AM
****. I really just can't seem to restrain myself. I told myself I wouldn't post any more songs for my album on here, simply because I don't want the whole thing floating around on the internet. But I reeeeeeeeally want outside opinions on this.

I guess the term for this would be post rock? I dunno. It's not a genre I'm terribly familiar with. The only examples I've heard are what people have put up here. I didn't intend to write in that style, I just wanted an ambient interlude for my album, but one that you can really chill out to for a while. The thing with ambient interludes in rock music is that they're usually only about a minute long, so they're no good to space out to.

Also, keep in mind that it's supposed to be really really ambient. That was the intention, anyway.

C4C, as always.

frankibo
09-19-2011, 07:06 AM
I wouldn't worry too much about your work floating around here. The only people who frequent this board are writers and I hope we all have enough mutual respect for each other not to steal each others work or anything. Even if someone did and you found out, you could always prove you had it written down first.

Anyway on to the crit.
It's hard to crit ambient pieces as you can imagine. The progression was nice and the subtle dissonance works well, the swells in the background are very moody.
The drums were fine but there's something bothering me about them, not sure what it is. Maybe it'd be fine with recording drums. Some nice ambient sounds in the background would be good too, doors opening and closing, whispering, white noise and all that jazz.
It goes on for just about as long as you can get away with without it getting boring, so kudos on that.
Definitely post rock and would definitely make a sweet interlude or segue in an album.

mka12992
09-19-2011, 01:17 PM
I think maybe the distorted swells peak a bit too high. It seems distracting to me, personally, but maybe that's the intention. I sort of agree with the above poster with the drums. I think they may be a bit too busy (at points) for the piece, and that could be what's throwing me off. Overall, though, it's actually a rather solid piece. I also agree with the above poster in adding some extra ambient sounds in the background. And I'd add an effect or two to the main guitar so that it adds to the ambiance.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1480956
That's my newest piece, I'd really appreciate it if you left some feedback on it.

guitar_jew
09-19-2011, 03:34 PM
I wouldn't worry too much about your work floating around here. The only people who frequent this board are writers and I hope we all have enough mutual respect for each other not to steal each others work or anything. Even if someone did and you found out, you could always prove you had it written down first.


It's not even so much a fear of plagiarism as it is that I sort of want people who do check out my work here to have something fresh to listen to, instead of just hearing fully recorded versions of what they've already heard in MIDI.

But thanks to both of you for the crits, I appreciate it.

I really do like the idea of putting whispers in there, frankibo. I might consider writing a poem and have that be whispered very softly somewhere in there.

frankibo
09-19-2011, 07:29 PM
It's not even so much a fear of plagiarism as it is that I sort of want people who do check out my work here to have something fresh to listen to, instead of just hearing fully recorded versions of what they've already heard in MIDI.

But thanks to both of you for the crits, I appreciate it.

I really do like the idea of putting whispers in there, frankibo. I might consider writing a poem and have that be whispered very softly somewhere in there.

Ah right I see. Well I wouldn't really worrying about that either, as much as MIDI gives everyone and idea about this piece and if it works structurally and musically, it can't compare to a proper recording with real guitar tones and solid production value.

That'd be pretty sweet actually, nice idea.

JCAshworth247
09-20-2011, 11:09 PM
when you use scratch notes or "x"s to stop the let ring of a previous note, its best to make the dynamic ppp so you cant hear it at all for example:

guitar_jew
09-20-2011, 11:23 PM
Ah. Thanks for that, I was trying to figure out how other people were getting around that, lol.

HaydenHohns
09-21-2011, 05:13 AM
Alright, before I begin critiquing, I thought I should just let you you know that the one you last showed me was fine and I had nothing to say about it. I mean I changed a few thing stylistically (Far more technical/Proggy in my version) but it doesn't really change it too much. I didn't like the bend in the opening riff so that's the only thing that I think you should seriously consider. I'll post it here anyway in the off chance that you decide to adopt some of my ideas.

Anyway, here is my crit:

I imagine that the dead notes in the intro will sound much better when recorded, so I'll excuse the nearly unbearable MIDI. I think the piece would benefit from some volume swells in the uper register, use some higher extended harmonies as well. It will really bring out the complex emotions you want to portray.

I liked the use of toms at bars 64-71. I think some polyrhythmic work on a djembe or cowbell would help create a foreign and unsettling atmosphere as suggested by the dissonant chords you are utilising. I also think the final chord should be some sort of tritone, augmented or cluster chord. The final cadence is really lacking IMO.

Otherwise the piece is fairly decent. It doesn't really standout compared to bands like Mono (I assume you going for some sort of Post-Rock vibe?), as it just exists, rather than breathes. Not sure if that makes any sense but adding more varied harmonies should solve that problem while also maintaining the stylistic bounds you have chosen to compose within. Good luck!

STONESHAKER
09-21-2011, 11:26 PM
Dude this is sick, I'm listening to it right now. First thing that jumps out are the volume swells going.. it's a really interest contrast, the distortion swells and the nice acoustic melodies you have going underneath it. The melodies change up enough to keep it interesting while ambient.

Drums kick in... like the change in texture. At this point one thing I'm noticing is what feels like a really slow build up of intensity. It's not a steady build up, the swells kind of make it lurch forward, which I like and don't like at the same time.

The synth (I think) that comes in later kind of broke the mood for me a little... personally I just don't like synths that much, but it did seem to be a bit loud and piercing to my ear.

I don't see any vocals written here, but if you wanted to add more interest, you could add spoken vocals kind of muffled and a little bit low relative to the volume of the piece. Maybe have certain lines repeat, get cut off, etc... jumble it up. I can hear it in my head as I listen to it and it sounds good. Maybe some radio static in there too, or rain.

Ended, liked the little phrase at the very end to wrap it up.

Overall, very cool, only suggestions I could make are a very gradual master volume build up once the synths have been introduced, maybe turning the volume on the synths down a tad, and explore that spoken vocal idea.

C4C? It's less ambient than my other work. I'd call it progressive rock for sure. I've included a GP5/X file this time too.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1480285

guitar_jew
09-22-2011, 01:06 AM
The 'synth' is meant to represent a calm, soothing, backround falsetto 'ooh' vocal. And as for the 'spoken vocals,' frankibo suggested whispering and I'm probably gonna write a poem to be whispered over the top of this. But yeah. Thanks for the crits and suggestions, all.