Oh Yes (INDIE, C4C)
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09-23-2011, 08:34 PM
Made this song recently. Kind of short, but I think its decent for the most part. I don't really know how I feel about the ending portion but you guys can tell me what you think.
I'll critic back of course, and whatnot. Listen with headphones, RSE, etc.
09-24-2011, 09:30 PM
I like the beginning. Sounds very warm and comforting, hard to describe. When track 4 (Back) comes in at bar 5, I would give it a more interesting rhythm. The entire middle section felt a little disconnected and odd. I liked the part at bar 43 and onward. Very interesting and unique.
09-24-2011, 11:39 PM
Which parts specifically do you mean by middle and how exactly is it odd? Just wondering so I can improve upon it.
I'll critic you back ASAP
09-24-2011, 11:47 PM
Well by middle I pretty much mean 17-42. It's hard to explain. It just doesn't flow very well, and the chord progressions are to outlandish and don't work very well. No catchiness or attention-grabbing quality to it. It's not something that's dry and cut, so I can't really put my finger on it. However, I do hear potential in it. I say play around with rhythm and you may find something better. Good luck!
09-25-2011, 03:43 PM
I thought the part at 17-24 flowed p well. To each his own though. And yeah, I'm not really good at writing anything catchy lol.
09-28-2011, 03:04 PM
I think there are some good ideas in here, it just needs a really snappy drum beat to tie it all together. Some of the melodies starting in bar 17 sound a little out of place to me, though. I feel like it's stepping out of the key or something.
The song grows on you, though, and the outro is really good. I just feel like you should have let it end on E in bar 57 instead of going back to B at the end.
It's a good song with a lot of potential, I think that a vocal melody would go great over it.
You can take a look at my track if you want: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1483106
09-28-2011, 08:42 PM
I'm p sure bar 17 does change key, but I thought it flowed alright. I guess not since you're the second one to say it doesn't. And yeah, I'm no drummer, but I get more experience as I write.
And I would love to add a vocal melody if only I had any idea how to lol. Thanks for the critic though.
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