New Djenty Untitled song! C4C (GP5/4/MIDI)
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09-24-2011, 05:42 PM
Here's a new one from Terria, me and ProgBass' band (formerly titled Enhalo).
It's Untitled for now, but that's no biggie.
This one was a lot of fun to write and while it is one of our simpler songs we did a lot of things we don't usually. Influences abound in this one. If thou can name them, thy shall get a cookie du e.
Now onto the song!
HEADPHONES ALWAYS PREFERRED. MIDI NOT OPTIONAL.
And C4C of course.
Enjoy :) Will be updating the OP with a name if we ever come up with one.
This will probably be the song we record first for our demo, since it's easier than just about every other song we've written, so keep your eyes peeled for that ;)
Life Is Brutal
09-24-2011, 08:55 PM
Opening theme is great, and the dynamics add to it well. A slight prelude to the Djent material, Like a single note or two leading into the start would add a bit more texture and allow the whole transition process to segue better. That said, I don't think a fade in on the djent would work.
Drumz and synth build nicely, and I really like the break at 25, with the synth going from the Fm to the Fmadd9 chord. Following synth and Violin themes are really great, and complement each other greatly. I Really liked the chromatic phrases here, they add alot of tension, and make it a really great section.
The transition at 42 was at first a bit sketchy to me, but it grew on me. :haha:
Back into the main material, transposition and modulation, and whatnot say you. :haha:
The section at 55 was very light sounding, not in the sense that it wasn't heavy, but there seems to be a vacuum that forms, which creates this interesting atmosphere. Or lack of Atmosphere. /pun :p:
I would find a more appropriate transtion at 62, as the current harmonization sounds too off putting, so I would scrap the minor thirds. It also doesn't segue well into the tremolo section. :shrug:
Tremolo section is good, but again, I would change that first ending with the halfstep harmonies. The second ending is a much better example, so I would base the transition off of that one instead.
Synthy section following is great, especially the ascending fifths, very nice. The djent elaboration at 84 is great, and creates a really great sounding atmosphere, which is maintained at 88 and onward.
Break at 105 is good, but might be too repetitive for what little action occurs. Loved the harmonization at 118. Build at 140 is great, but despite the massive layering it came off more pianissimo than the prior sections, so I think you should rework the dynamics here, as I had to adjust the mixer to bring out the section to its fullest.
Following sections are repeats, and likewise any similar advice or comments apply. Really liked the violin and synth variations later. Outro fits the piece well.
Really great professional sound overall, and there isn't too much I would change except for the overly odd transitions.
No need to crit mine, as you had already helped me with it and not much has changed. :haha:
09-25-2011, 05:37 AM
I'm surprised I'm only the second person to comment on this.
I love the intro motif. It sounds very calm and atmospheric until that little chromatic bit gives it a slightly sinister sound. The overdriven guitar riff is djent to the max, for sure.
The violin melody was fresh, not something we get too much of in music at all, let alone the forums, lol. The midi made it sound more like a brass instrument- which one, I can't put my finger on. But it sounded alright, just a little out of place. Probably just the MIDI, because the melody itself was fine.
The key change at 47 and 51 respectively made no sense, IMO. There was no sense of transition, and it didn't really add tension or anything, it just sort of came in and threw my ears off.
The 3/4 bit was great. Sure, there wasn't too much going on, but it was a nice break from the heavily layered section before it.
63, also great. The little minor second burst was excellent. Jarring, but not too much so that it detracted. The rhodes in the bit after that is sex.
I think fading out the other instrument would make the break much smoother- as is, the transition was waaaay too sudden. Once the bit gets going, it's nice. We're all sucker for ambient clean passages here, I guess lol.
The rest is good, but I would have liked to have heard that clean intro motif one more time before the violin kicked in again. Other than that, the rhodes/string break was a nice way to end the thing.
TL;DR STOP MAKING THE REST OF US LOOK BAD. lol
09-28-2011, 12:14 PM
Life is teh br00tz: The "chorusy" section after the clean bit comes out sounding fine on GP. But I did relisten to it and found the right side a bit cluttered so I mixed it a little better and it sounds better now.
And the half-step harmonies aren't meant to be the most pleasing sounding transitions :P They're supposed to be a bit off-putting so that it resolves on the next go-round.
@guitar_jew: I know! Me too! A couple months ago people would have been all over this! It seems the dj3ntz has gone out of style :sad:
Part of the reason it took me so long to get back and respond was because I wasn't sure what you and whalepudding were talking about with the modulations. To both me and progbass they sound fine.
@whalepudding: it's interesting you mention chromaticism... cause there really is none at all in the melodies. The only time I change the clean melody at all is for the transition to C Minor, and even then it fits within the key (on the tonic, too, if I'm not mistaken).
Thanks for all the crits guys! I've tried to go through and understand what y'all were talking about, but I just couldn't sometimes :haha:
09-29-2011, 06:48 AM
Ah cocks, sorry. I'll try again.
In bar 92 all the notes played by the clean guitar sound off - the C is the only note actually in the chord, and it's not on an emphasized beat or anything, and everything else is so openly dissonant it just sounds wrong. In the next bar the E flat still sounds off, I don't know whether that's just because it's dwelling on a note that sounded dissonant earlier. Obviously it starts making sense in bar 95, but the earlier couple of bars kind of broke the atmosphere.
In bars 42 to 54 it's not that it's dissonant or anything, just that the chord changes lack the impact they could have had. I think I can see why you can't find a problem with it, if I listen to it isolated it sounds fine, but when listening to everything from start to finish I definitely didn't like it.
I think it's that opening bar 47 with an F# and E detract from the impact of the chord change - and since they ring out, it sounds like you're sustaining what were probably meant to be passing notes that lead into the chord. I tried changing the first notes of bar 47 to a B and G#, I think it sounds better.
OR lower the D# by an octave. That way, the F# and E lead into it satisfyingly. It'd sound more like a melody line and less like an arpeggio.
Same problem with bar 51, made worse because the F sharp at the end of the previous bar doesn't lead very smoothly into the C at the start of this one. And again, the fact that the melody starts with a C and an Eb, and doesn't get to a chord tone until right at the end of the bar, completely diminishes the impact of the chord change, and makes it seem kind of aimless.
Also, I think from bars 51 to 54, the melody avoids the chord tones too much. For each of the other chords I liked how it'd get a bit chromatic towards the end, but here I think it's a bit much. The little motif at the end - the one with the slides and the 16th notes - should end on a D at least, I think. To resolve all the wandering non-chord-tones.
Sorry if any of this is wrong, as it probably is - my theory knowledge consists of a bunch of half-learned stuff sitting shyly at the back of my head, reluctant to come up to the front without coercion. I'm hoping that at some point flirted with helpfulness, anyway.
'Part from that it's bloody fantastic and I love it. I should mention that. :p:
09-29-2011, 10:56 AM
That actually helps me understand what you're saying now. I'll go back and play around with some of the ideas you mentioned and see if I can't come up with something.
In retrospect, I do remember not liking the transition to C Minor right away, but since it's my song I probably listened that away.
10-01-2011, 05:53 PM
Actually there is chromaticism in the anacrusis/pickup in the violin melody/Rhodes background figures at the beginning (Starting bar 25).
Bars 1-25: Nice intro, really liked the harmoniased melody and chord progression. Sounds a lot like something in a Fusion album. Fade-n riff was also complimentary to the development, and I think I spotted a 4/4 polymeter in the percussion, nice!
Bars 26-42: Violin has nice phrasing. My only advice to you in this section, is when writing for other instruments is that you play within their respective technical capabilities. If you're presenting this to someone to play, you wouldn't give it to them with the several lines in the Keyboard part. Use the 8va symbol to move the selected phrase down an octave but that symbol will come up, which will tell the player to play that part up the octave, instead of having to read through all those ledger lines. Just if you didn't know.
Bars 42-54: This is a good idea overall but I thought the actual modulation parts came off as amateur in execution. Try changing the entire bar before each key change so that each note is only being moved around by about a semitone or tone, so that it fits in with the next key change the bar before it happens. I noticed you did this with the strings but the rest of the instrumentation is far too powerful for this make any impact to the listener.
Bars 55-71: Not keen on breakdowns. Only thing that was cool was the dissonant harmonies. I think a counter-riff is required in order to make this section more interesting. Something akin to the riff beginning at 0:50 in "The Psalm of Lydia" by Nevermore would be fitting IMO.
Bars 72-87: As cool as the Rhodes Piano was, it's not enough to make up for the breakdown underneath it.
Bars 88-103: Same as above.
Bars 104-139: A nice transition from previous sections. I really liked the harmonies between the two arppeggiated guitar parts. It evoked a mystical and somewhat divine atmosphere.
Bars 140-159: I think a harmony or counter melody could have been rather effectiove here to support the violin. I also think the violin would be more effective at the outro replaying the melody at this section by itself.
Bars 160-171: Slap Bass was awesome! I loved that part. I'm also liking the subtle reprisal of dissonant harmonies in this section.
Bars 172-195: Nice reprisal of intro riff. No complaints here. Maybe some harmonisation for variation on previous section.
Bars 196-207: I liked the outro but I though my idea with the violin is better. But it's your piece, so you decide.
Overall you have a really solid piece, although not completely to my liking. Good luck with recording this!
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