Alt rock/punkish - What You Are C4C!


PDA

View Full Version : Alt rock/punkish - What You Are C4C!


bingeandletgo
09-24-2011, 09:24 PM
Song title was just the first thing that came to mind when I wrote it. My main questions are:

How can I spice up the verse? It seems a little boring to me.

Do you think the chorus is a little boring, too?

Do you like the key change?





Please ignore the tenor voice. I was lazily playing with some melody ideas.

dylann
09-25-2011, 04:57 AM
all im going to say is the vocals were catchy

guitar_jew
09-25-2011, 05:20 AM
It's really hard to give this a fair crit without drums.

Unfortunately, having tried the demo version of gp6, it doesn't appear that the method those of us still in gp5 use works in the new version. You should look up on the help section how to write drums in gp6, because it really does make it hard to critique without.

Erra93
09-25-2011, 08:26 AM
I really liked the whole thing, the chorus had a really great feeling to it, you really have to finish those vocals, they're awesome!

bingeandletgo
09-25-2011, 10:37 AM
It's really hard to give this a fair crit without drums.

Unfortunately, having tried the demo version of gp6, it doesn't appear that the method those of us still in gp5 use works in the new version. You should look up on the help section how to write drums in gp6, because it really does make it hard to critique without.

Will do. It may take some time though. Although I may just actually record first.

Thanks guys for the vocal compliments!

Joshua1207
09-25-2011, 03:41 PM
While I liked the verse for the most part, I really recommend changing the progression of the overdrive guitar a bit. It just doesn't fit well, not enough change maybe. I also recommend changing up the verses a bit, maybe add some vocals on one of them or something. I did enjoy the vocals quite a bit.
The song is kind of boring for the most part, so maybe adding some more vocals would help with that. Also, I'm not sure if its your fault or because of when you exported it to GP5, but some parts were especially really quiet and you could barely hear anything, so yeah.
Also, the ending is kind of abrupt too.

Not a bad song though, just need to work on a couple things.

bingeandletgo
09-25-2011, 06:33 PM
While I liked the verse for the most part, I really recommend changing the progression of the overdrive guitar a bit. It just doesn't fit well, not enough change maybe. I also recommend changing up the verses a bit, maybe add some vocals on one of them or something. I did enjoy the vocals quite a bit.
The song is kind of boring for the most part, so maybe adding some more vocals would help with that. Also, I'm not sure if its your fault or because of when you exported it to GP5, but some parts were especially really quiet and you could barely hear anything, so yeah.
Also, the ending is kind of abrupt too.

Not a bad song though, just need to work on a couple things.

What do you mean about the progression of the overdriven guitar? The chord progression? At what part?

Joshua1207
09-25-2011, 06:54 PM
Yeah, the chord progression at the verses (bar 5-16, etc). It might help if you just change the rhythm of that part too, for the overdrive guitar.

MobiuZ
09-26-2011, 07:46 AM
man i loved this from the first chords , nice mellow build up , really reminded me of Volbeat.

then the distortion comes in and it adds some nice dynamics to it.
i liked the bridge aswell allthough it was cinda quiet in the gpx version.

allthough i really liked what you had it didnt really build up to anything , i think you should add some drums when you repeat the same thing to add some flavor and maybe some keys aswell

o and you had the volume on the vocals turned down in the gpx version btw.

other than that it was good ! :)

can you any of the songs in my sig ? preferably one with gpx ;)

bingeandletgo
09-26-2011, 05:36 PM
Thanks! Yeah, the drums are an extremely important part of the dynamics of this song, and is pretty key to the build-up factor. The vocals were down because it wasn't important; those were just small ideas I jotted down.

MetaIronForce
09-27-2011, 11:08 AM
Here's a suggestion for livening up the verse. its the electric guitar:
H. Q H. E E H. Q
E||--0------------0----|--0------------L--0--|--0------------0----|
B||--0------------0----|--0------------L--0--|--0------------0----|
G||--1------------2----|--1------------L--4--|--2------------2----|
D||--2------------2----|--2------------L--4--|--2------------4----|
A||--2------------2----|--2------------L--2--|--0------------0----|
E||--------------------|---------------------|--------------------|


H. E E
--0------------L--0--||
--0------------L--0--||
--2------------L--4--||
--2------------L--4--||
--0------------L--2--||
---------------------||

I added variations between each chord, and changed the second chord you used into an A Sus 2

Other than that it was great, but it does need drums. I especially liked the electric guitar riff into the chorus

STONESHAKER
09-27-2011, 01:35 PM
What's up man.

The intro build-up is good, reminds me of Mineral a little bit. However, I would make the bass a little bit more active once the "verse" repeats a few times. The guitar isn't very dynamic, which leaves an opening for some cool bass melodies that would serve to lead up to the break in the chorus.

The chorus riff itself is cool, it resolves nicely and is not used too gratuitously. The vocal part over the chorus fits well. The transition into the bridge isn't bad, although if you wrote some drums you could facilitate that transition a little better.

I feel like the more drawn out bit at the end of the song where you are hanging on your chords a little longer definitely needs some drums to be interesting, but the part the song ends on is very cool, would have liked to see more of those kind of sounds throughout the song.

Overall, I liked it, although I think if you worked on the bass and the drums a bit it would make the song that much better.

C4C? Links are in my sig, whichever one works for me. Vacuum is atmospheric post rock, Cruise Control is more progressive rock, and Inertia is a little more metal than the other two.

bingeandletgo
09-27-2011, 08:32 PM
^
^^ Thanks to both of you! I will use those variations next band practice and try them out. I'll also try to experiment with the bass and try to make it more interesting. All of the drums are figured out, albeit in our drummers head. When I record, they'll be there.