Buried In The Sand (Melodic/Core/Epic) repost-ish
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10-11-2011, 12:03 AM
I posted a song up here a few months ago in order to get some constructive criticism and feedback. I have done lots of work on it since then and present a new, nearly finished version.
i guess its main influences would be children of bodom, scar symmetry, symphony x, and some other random stuff, the lyrics are tentative, but I'm pretty happy with them for the most part
let me know what you like about it/dislike. c4c for sure, especially for a more in depth crit
10-11-2011, 04:03 AM
The verse riff is nice, clean and straight to the point. I like it.
To me the chorus sounds WAY to cluttered, its to the point where I can't discern the lead guitar (the part with the moving lines from 52 to 66) That whole moving line is unclear to me in the mix, I had to mute the track to hear it properly.
Bar 95...Ugh, I'm a fan of a well placed breakdown, but you could have done SO much more here. What I would have done was write a nice polyrythymic breakdown, something kinda fast, but not to fast, and done a buildup to a synth solo, then traded that solo off with guitar. But, I suppose it fits.
Ahh..what I was waiting for the whole time. The Melodic section!
I REALLY like whats going on here. everything. To me, this section is perfect, and the fade out is well placed.
overall, I'd give this piece a 8 and a half out of 10. If you were to fix the chorus mixing issue, and POSSIBLY the totally predictable breakdown, It'd get a 10.
10-12-2011, 05:48 PM
Gonna do a quick little crit, then expand on some things later.
From bar 34-41, maybe take out the synth lead. In the previous version, I liked the impact that the melody at 42 had, when it just came in. Having synth lead before that kind of lessens that effect. You know what I'm getting at? It sort of lessens the intensity, rather than increasing it.
At bars 40-41, I'm not sure if I like the guitars' silence. It sounded kind of choppy. Something similar happened at bar 48, the lead just cut out. I didn't like that.
I don't mind the chorus as it is, though in the original I liked the track 3 guitar melody. That was kind of drowned out in this one, replaced by a wall-of-sound. I'm not sure which I like better.
I still love the verse. Those synths are sick.
**** breakdowns. I know I was more forgiving in my last crit, yet it seems you decided to leave the goddamn thing in there. Now I have to be harsh. FUCK BREAKDOWNS. The synths were kinda cool though.
Is that fade-in gonna be there in the complete version? I'm not sure if I like it or not.
The melodic section is amazing.
So I ended up doing a full crit, whatever. Despite the negative things I said, I still really like this song.
08-02-2012, 01:02 AM
Is this DONE yet? I want to hear a finished version. It's just such a damn good song.
08-17-2012, 01:12 PM
RESURRECTION! I'll edit the post and upload the most finished version for GP. Here's the link to my band's reverbnation, if you want to check out a "preview" of the demo version of Buried in the Sand. We have a full version recorded but don't wanna put it up just yet. Getting ready for our first show on 8/25 in Springfield, VA....gonna be dope!
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