Old School Emo influenced piece


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camrawrs
10-14-2011, 02:05 PM
Been learning a lot of Jawbreaker and Promise Ring songs as of late and I am probably playing in a new band and I am trying to break out of that whole dropped tuning rut so this is my first attempt at writing a full band piece in standard tuning. Bass line is just kind of a bass thing so I have a low end for when I am listening to it, probably not going to have the bass player play that. C4C. Also, I realize this sounds nothing like Jawbreaker or The Promise Ring but it was inspired by that and bands like Saves the Day and Brand New as well.

camrawrs
10-14-2011, 02:06 PM
And here is the song, my b.


Edit:
I added some more stuff and more licks in there, actually gave it an intro instead of a guitar just playing shit for 16 bars. waddap.

Edit 2:
Put up the wrong thing yesterday, here is the GP5

Basti95
10-17-2011, 04:39 PM
Sort of Indie/pop thing somewhere in there, not at all my kind of thing.
Now that opinion is out of the way, it's definitely a good song, add a voice and it's pretty much done IMO :) Any correction i could give you would probably mess the whole thing up, different directions and all that...but i think you can pretty much stick to what you've already got there

edit: if you don't mind, my liege
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1488741

Mean Mr Mustard
10-18-2011, 01:52 PM
Well I love all your influences, so this should be awesome. However, I can't listen to it in school, so I'll listen to this right when I get home.

camrawrs
10-18-2011, 02:40 PM
Awesome dude, I am actually about to post up a new song that I just finished.

Mean Mr Mustard
10-18-2011, 11:22 PM
Loved it. Very interesting intervals used in that intro riff. The drums really drove the verse section, and then the chorus finished it off great with some heavier melodies. The outro section was incredibly well written (with the guitar solo), and finished the song off perfectly. Can't think of a single way to improve it :/

SoulShredder
10-19-2011, 07:57 PM
Don't have much to say other than it was really Awesome. I sort of wish you would mix up the tempo up here and there.

herby190
11-01-2011, 12:03 AM
I thought this was pretty great. One thing that may help you when posting on here is to label sections in a song like this, to give people an idea of what the vocals would be doing, et cetera (simple labels like "verse" "chorus" and "bridge" are more than enough). I thought your drums were pretty interesting; it doesn't feel to me like you're a drummer, or, if so, a rather abnormal one.

C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1413914

camrawrs
11-02-2011, 05:12 PM
this is ultimate guitar.. lol. i go here to post guitar riffs and shit, i just put drums behind it so i have something to jam with when i am playing my song.

herby190
11-02-2011, 09:18 PM
Multi-instrumentalists aren't exactly rare; I played bass and drums before I started guitar. :p:

Anyways, I wasn't insulting them; they were pretty good. They just felt different from the way most drummers would approach it, leading me to believe that you aren't a drummer.

Shaharz
11-03-2011, 03:30 PM
Well this really really really isn't my style, but still - good job on it.

Few notes:
In that solo-ish thing, on bar 74 when those slides start, I don't think it fits well with the vibe of the rest of the song.
Really liked the next part (85 - end) but I think it ends too soon imo. I wouldn't mind hearing more of that riff.
Bass is... well, not interesting. I know this is emo and this is what emo bass normally does, but I still think it can be much better.

Plus, I actually liked the drums, though I am also not a drummer so I have no idea what herby is talking about.


C4C the top one in my sig please :)

Your drums are good.