Short weird experiment thingi


PDA

View Full Version : Short weird experiment thingi


Shaharz
10-15-2011, 04:29 PM
Well, I was taking a shower and then and idea popped in my head, so I wrote it.

My question is this: Does anyone else find this actually pretty nice and not crappy at all?


I'll C4C if you give me a link since I have nothing better to do, even though I'm not really asking for a serious crit here

FrauVfromPoB
10-15-2011, 04:40 PM
When that first riff is being played a half step apart at the same time, that sounds pretty bad. But the beginning, when its played once, then moved down half a step and played again, that sounds fine. Typical death metal style riffing. Measure 15, however, actually sounded really cool and unique. Definitely work with that part.

If you're up for c4c, this thread got 130 views but not a single reply, and really I want to know what people think: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1486062

Basti95
10-15-2011, 04:44 PM
Doing some tweaks on it if you don't mind :p: Think of it as a C4C!
btw it has potential, srsly

Shaharz
10-15-2011, 04:57 PM
When that first riff is being played a half step apart at the same time, that sounds pretty bad.

I actually like that part for some reason.
The dissonance between the muted E and D# is pretty cool

Basti95
10-15-2011, 05:35 PM
I've been tinkering around with it for a bit, i just think you should slow it down to about 120bpm, put some bass in there (i don't know what direction you're heading so anything from a funky primus style to a slow & creepy melody) and a good hammering percussion - let it build up from bar 5, break down at bar 8 (maybe change it to 4/4) and kick off after that.

And most importantly, let the freakiness perspire mercilessly!

Shaharz
10-15-2011, 05:41 PM
I've been tinkering around with it for a bit, i just think you should slow it down to about 120bpm, put some bass in there (i don't know what direction you're heading so anything from a funky primus style to a slow & creepy melody) and a good hammering percussion - let it build up from bar 5, break down at bar 8 (maybe change it to 4/4) and kick off after that.

And most importantly, let the freakiness perspire mercilessly!

Oh come on, I thought you're going to do that for me and upload a GP file.
Dissapointed :(

Basti95
10-15-2011, 06:19 PM
Ah, well... :p: i'm not much of a composer you know, i've got it saved in the meanwhile so i might finish and fling it your way tomorrow :)

FrauVfromPoB
10-15-2011, 10:20 PM
I actually like that part for some reason.
The dissonance between the muted E and D# is pretty cool

The muted dissonance doesn't sound that bad. But when the pedal notes stop and the melody parts ring out, that's when it sounds bad.

Shaharz
10-16-2011, 06:34 AM
The muted dissonance doesn't sound that bad. But when the pedal notes stop and the melody parts ring out, that's when it sounds bad.

Maybe, but I think it can grow on you :P

Got another question: Bass. WTF do I do with the bass when my guitars are half a step apart? :haha:

Basti95
10-17-2011, 03:18 PM
^ Good question :p:

Uhm...here's what i got...


:sad:

FrauVfromPoB
10-17-2011, 03:21 PM
Maybe, but I think it can grow on you :P

Got another question: Bass. WTF do I do with the bass when my guitars are half a step apart? :haha:

Two basses. Doing the same thing the guitars are doing. Go hard or go home :haha:

EDIT:
Uhm...here's what i got...


Wow, maybe all it needed was to be fleshed out a little. Honestly, the dissonance sounds so much better when there's other stuff going on behind it like this. The drums and bass are actually pretty good, I think, and they improve the song overall. It suddenly kind of reminds me of the band Ceremony.

Basti95
10-17-2011, 04:27 PM
Oh cool, a non-negative response :haha: wow, so not expected

Shaharz
10-18-2011, 06:38 AM
So you guys really think it won't suck if I make a full length song out of this shit?
Wow. Well, I guess I'll give it a shot

JazzDeath
10-18-2011, 03:33 PM
I like the first riff but it's hard to get a good idea of what it may sound like with full orchestration.

The idea of having one guitar in E flat and the other in E is pretty bad in my opinion because it's just not really practical, you might as well tune them both in E flat and just transpose it unless you absolutely, absolutely need the 24th fret of the treble E string for a solo...

Not sure I like the measure in 3/4 man it's somewhat unnecessary and adds even more confusion to the 2nd harmony which comes after... which I'm not sure whether I like or not. It's relatively weird and dissonant, which by itself is not an idea I dislike but the reason for it is questionable.

Also bar 13 14 sounds pretty bad... I like the riff that comes afterwars the most at bar 15, that's cool stuff.

I dunno, a lot of useless dissonance I find, like it seems purposeless, good base ideas which lack focus in the end. It needs drums bass and a backing line for me to really judge whether it's worth continuing or not... that's my opinion though.

If you want to C4C check Deranged Aesthetics (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1485701)

I won't mind if you don't though, this wasn't much of a crit =P

Radman_Paiza
10-19-2011, 08:05 AM
The "dissonance trick" is used to create some sort of tension. To have that theme throughout the entire song...

I think you should try other instruments. Make an orchestral out of this instead. Maybe lower the volume on one of the guitars?

15-18, great riff. Keep this no matter what. Maybe tweak the main riff a little?

You have a good idea going on here, but I don't know if it matches the instruments you're using. Good luck anyway!