yryryr (INDIE C4C)


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Joshua1207
10-31-2011, 01:16 AM
Decent song of my, I think. I particularly like the ending. Thoughts?

Critic for critic, RSE, headphones, etc
Also, in the crit, if you could rate it /10 that'd be cool too.

I extended the song in a attempt to make the song longer, but I dunno if it really fits well. The song ended at bar 83 before so tell me whether the new stuff is good or not?

EDIT: made a slight change at bar 122

Shaharz
11-05-2011, 06:34 AM
Thanks for the crit :)

OK, so, I don't have any headphones near me right now so I'm listening to this without headphones and with RSE.

Here we go:
Well, intro starts kinda weird :P
First bar makes me feel all bluesy, but the second bar breaks that.
Bars 14-15 sounded like something from the Mario Bros theme :haha:
The overdriven guitar comes in nicely. Feels a lot more indie now.
The acoustic part is also a bit blues, in a good way. Fits nicely
The outro on the jazz guitar is great, my favorite part of the song I guess

Um... that's it? Kinda very very short, and it's a shame cause I think this can go to many more places.

For a very short song it's good, I just think you get more out of it. Still, I'll give it an 8/10

:cheers:

Joshua1207
11-05-2011, 11:52 AM
Yeah, a majority of my songs are usually pretty short. I start to lose creativity after a while :S I didn't quite get the bluesy feeling from it, but I'll take that as a compliment lol

Joshua1207
11-05-2011, 07:50 PM
Well I tried extending the song and added it into the OP, so I guess you guys can tell me whether or not it fits. I like it, I'm just not sure if it fits in this song.

jtaf
11-13-2011, 07:18 PM
Sorry for critting back so late. I was really busy.
Anyway, I think your songs are too messy, they have too few discernible or memorable ideas, and those that have potential, like bars 37-44, are presented in such a chaotic way that its hard to enjoy them, even after many listens. The bass is also too dissonant on some parts, (for example, bar 2), and it doesnt create a cool or interesting effect, its just jarring and distracting. That said, its hard to judge non-instrumental songs without the vocals. Its just a completely different product, and much worse, because of the excessive repetition and lack of melody.
To sum up, its got potential, but definitely consider those points I made.

Joshua1207
11-13-2011, 10:44 PM
I can't believe I didn't notice that on the bass, thanks for the heads up. I didn't really think that bars 37-44 were chaotic though, eh. Thanks for the critic though.