Long Metalcore Song with Intro, Acoustic Part and Stuff


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ForcedIntegrity
11-02-2011, 10:27 AM
Hello, I would like some suggestions for this song I've been working on.

I'm not sure about some parts and some opinions would be nice. :)

dylann
11-02-2011, 10:47 AM
for people that post gpx you should post gp5 cause people dont have gp6 and dont like it.. you can convert it here too http://www.tab-exporter.com/

Taclite
11-02-2011, 11:55 AM
Some of the riffs were pretty good, but you're absolutely terrible at writing drums.

ForcedIntegrity
11-02-2011, 12:09 PM
haha i admit that, I am no drummer. :D
maybe you want to tab better drums for me?

Taclite
11-02-2011, 03:16 PM
haha i admit that, I am no drummer. :D
maybe you want to tab better drums for me?

If I have the time I might do it. Going out of town for a couple of days, so. I'll have a look at it during the weekend :p

ForcedIntegrity
11-03-2011, 12:59 PM
that would be really nice :)

Shaharz
11-03-2011, 06:12 PM
Thanks for the kind words on my song :)

Well, gave yours a listen. Here are a few notes:
It begins really really well, and builds up and you think it's gonna get even better, but the riff at 34 kinda dissapointed me. Too simple and generic, and the drums could be much better.

I don't know if you did it on purpose, but that 1 quarter note wait before the chorus actually added A LOT imo since the snare drum starts on the first beat, but you feel like it's the second. Kinda proggy. Liked it. (Other than that, the chorus drums are not that good as well)

Acoustic part is nice. The solo is good but has some ****s. bar 99 sounded really off, especially that G# in the beginning. When the second guitar enters to harmonize it sounds good most of the time, but some notes are still off.

The way the solo leads into the chorus... Not sure I like it, but that's just a matter of taste I guess.

Breakdown is kinda generic but still very enjoyable... except for the drums. Not good breakdown drumming there.

The last chorus was not powerful enough imo. Maybe vocals can fix it, but I think you should change it a bit and make more climactic.

Last note I'll give you - The bass throughout the song is not it's full potential. I like saparating the bass from the guitars in my songs, but meh - in the riffing sections I'll give you break.
The acoustic part, though, is really a place a bass player can go wild with harmonies and melodies and rythmic shit. Seeing an acoustic part with a bass that just plays the base note for the guitars really bugs me.


So, in short:
Guitars - Good riffing all around, solo could use a bit of fixing
Bass - Could improve a bit to give the song more depth
Drums - Well, tbh, shit :haha:

Here ya go, I wrote some new drums that maybe you'll like better. It's in GP5, you can convert it if you have to.

Rabbismith
11-06-2011, 03:37 PM
i'll add some drums to be more metal'ly tell me how you like it

ill update later tonite

EDIT: Heres the drums.. I threw them together in like an hour or so tell me if you like any parts of it haha

btw the file size was too large for some reason so I just removed the clean and bass tracks.. so imagine the song with them in :D