Some thing i made up [GP5-MID]


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Kaozz
11-21-2011, 02:41 PM
This is something i came up with and i'd like some criticism about it.

But first one thing... i know i am really... really lame at making beats and stuff like that, i don't know a crap about drums, so please tell me something more than (those drums fail) xD...

Btw. this is supposed to have vocals in it.

Thrash.aholic
11-21-2011, 03:02 PM
Sweet, no criticism here, sorry bro.

Kaozz
11-21-2011, 03:27 PM
wow..thanks man! xb

Kaozz
11-24-2011, 02:47 PM
100 views and no more criticism? Dx

MorbidAngel1989
12-01-2011, 06:17 PM
Thanks for criting my piece. Now lets get started here. With the intro riff you can use open string chugs instead of dead notes. If you want it to be heavier you gotta do that. Also make the intro a bit longer and the no drums part shorter, will make it that much more epic. Despite the bad, unnatural transitions, there were some really cool riffs here. I really liked the one from 5-8. But the transition from the first riff to the second seemed strange didn't it? Just kinda giving an example on the awkward transitions here. The thing on 13-14, before it got too weird on 15 sounded good, even with the bass that is needlessly doing something completely different in most of the piece it worked well there. The riff that is in 5/4 sounds great, the 7/4 one is also great but doesn't sound as good put right next to the 5/4 one, and I am not talking the time, but the note choices. From 38-41 I don't see why you kept doing 7 0 7 0 over and over while earlier you changed it up. That part can have that variation, too. The part from 42-49 works nice as a breakdown, but the 32nd notes on the bass kinda mess it up. 50 starts one of my favorite parts, which despite the unnecessary bass, sounds awesome with the two guitar parts. Maybe have the bass follow the rhythm guitar. 66 was awesome as well, until you just made them two guitars repeat the same chord for the longest time at 72. If you wanted the bass to do a solo there, keep overall guitar volume medium, so then if you put the bass volume high for solo you can hear it better. And you can put more than one chord, maybe 3-5 different ones that AREN'T chugging like that because that just doesn't sound good. The ending was too random and didn't work with the rest of the song. Obviously the drums were terrible. The whole piece would've benefited from nice normal slow drum beats but then you just kinda added everything in there. The drums, more so than the bad transitions, the occasional awkward note, the drums detracted from everything the most. Like next time you make a song, listen to the band who inspired you to write it or a band who sounds similar. Considering it sounds like you're new to this that can help a beginner out.

Kaozz
12-02-2011, 02:13 PM
Thanks a lot for the crit, imma try to make some transitions, but i'd like to point out some stuff.

the chugging with the same chord in that part is supposed to be equal to "making noise" when really playing... many things were written like that but will be played in a different way. the 32nd notes for example won't be nececessarily played..

My intention in the end was to make the guitars noisy creating like a ..wall of sound that u usually listen to in post-rock with the bass making that bassline over and over.

And i know. the drums are laughable xD. but like i said, i don't understand a crap about drums xD

some bass parts are actually unecessary specially when the guitar is making something slow, like in 15.

But this is like a sketch of what wold be played on real instruments, no one is gonna make for example. the cheesy slides in 15 xD, also. i think im gonna put vocals on this one.

As for the ending. the drums. are awful as we know it. start to end xD, but i'd like to be able to keep those chords on guitar and make the drums do something different.

Lol sorry , cuz i haven't make this much effort when critting ur song xDD