A newbish riff? You decide.

[punk||conformed]

Hi, name's Mike. I've been working on this song for a while, and I'm happy with the feeling it gives off. It's not completed yet, as you can see. I've got a bridge-type riff in contruction, I'll try to get it up eventually. Basicly, I need help in bringing the parts together, in particular the verse to the chorus. Theres a large speed difference in the two, and they won't mold together, even though the verse riff is perfictly fitting to the melody.

W=Whole Notes
H=Half Nots
Q=Quortor Notes
8th=8th Notes

4/4

Intro
W W Q Q Q W Q Q Q W Q Q Q W H Q
E--------0-------------------0---------------------------------|
B-0~--1~---1-0-----------4~------4-----------------------------|
G-2~--2~-------2~--2---0-5~----5---4~--4/8---------------------|
D-2~--2~-------3~----0---5~--------5~--5/9---------------------|
A-2~--2~-------3~--------3~--------5~--5/9---------------------|
E-0~--0~-------1~------------------3~--3/7---------------------|

Verse
Q 88 Q 88 Q 88 Q 88 Q 88 Q 88 Q 88 Q 8 Q
E--------------------------------------------------------------||
B--------------------------------------------------------------||
G--------------------------4---------3-------------------------||
D-1-xx-1-xx-1-xx-1-xx-5-xx-5-xx-4-xx-4-x-3---------------------||
A-1-xx-1-xx-1-xx-1-xx-5-xx-5-xx-4-xx-4-x-3---------------------||
E-0-xx-0-xx-0-xx-0-xx-3-xx-3-xx-2-xx-2-x-1---------------------||

Verse Fill 1
E------|
B------|
G------|
D-3/7--|
A-3/7--|
E-1/5--|

Chorus Rythm
E--------------------------------------------------------------|
B--------------------------------------------------------------|
G--------------------------------------------------------------|
D-1------3----/5\3---------------------------------------------| x4
A-1-x11--3-x7-/5\3---------------------------------------------|
E-0------1----/3\1---------------------------------------------|

Chorus Lead
Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q
E-----------------------------------------------------------------|
B-----------------------------------------------------------------|
G-----------------------------------------------------------------|
D-----------------------------------------------------------------| x2
A-----7-----7---7-----7-----7---7-----7-----7---7-----7----7---7--|
E-5-5---5-5---5---4-4---4-4---4---6-6---6-6---6---7-7--7-7---7----|

[punk||conformed]

I read the FAQ, and know bumping is frowned upon, but really, 80 views and no replys? What did I do that deserves to be ignored?

[punk||conformed]

How is that everyone else gets replies and critiques yet I just get 100 frickin veiws?

[X Alkaline 3]

Hmm .. it doesn't seem to really fit together at all. I think that's why you've gotten no replies .. I played it, and couldn't find any connection between one bar and the next.

[punk||conformed]

Yeah, but the whole point of this thread was to try to and bring a connection to the bars, to get them to blend together. I needed some suggestions as to how I could mesh them togther to play out smoothly.

[SilentDeftone]

Your timing is strange unless you implied rests somewhere in there. Whole notes followed by 3 quarters, then another whole note? :confused: Odd.

-SD :dance:

[eXZee]

You should take out the extra notes in the powerchords, like..

e|---
B|---
G|---
D|4-
A|4-
E|2-
instead of..
e|---
B|---
G|3-
D|4-
A|4-
E|2-
and the 0-1-1 on E,A,D doesn't sound good.. to me.

[SilentDeftone]

^ And why is that? The 3rd, which you suggest removing, adds definition to the chord. What you're suggesting hardly makes any musical sense.

-SD :dance:

[eXZee]

^ And why is that?
-SD :dance:

Wait, wait. Now I'm confused.. what genre is this song? If it's Punk( I hope not ), then that is why I said take out the 3rd, because I've NEVER seen a punk song have in that extra note.

[SilentDeftone]

Nowhere did he state that it's punk, and even if it was punk I'd still suggest keeping that note!

-SD :dance:

[eXZee]

Nowhere did he state that it's punk.

-SD :dance:


Lol, I read his name , and kind of figured that it was Punk.
I'd have to disagree about keeping it in though. Punk isn't really about the feeling, it's about the energy.

[SilentDeftone]

I didn't say leaving it in would add to the feeling, I said it would make more musical sense, which really has nothing to do with performance/energy.

-SD :dance:

[eXZee]

The 3rd, which you suggest removing, adds definition to the chord.
-SD :dance:

..Definition affects the feeling of a song.

[SilentDeftone]

..Definition affects the feeling of a song.
Even if that was true, removing the 3rd would then affect the feeling as well, which you have claimed to be inconsequential!

-SD :dance:

[eXZee]

removing the 3rd would then affect the feeling as well
-SD :dance:

My point is; he goes from no 3rd to 3rd, I just think it would be better to not change from no 3rd to 3rd. Just an opinion.

[JCShark]

Why is this in there?

D|-1
A|-1
E|-0


it doesn't seem to make any sense at all

[Gu!TaR PRo]

^ ya i agree with JCShark .. it doesnt sound right with that there

[punk||conformed]

Oh god, I tabbed it wrong! It's actually


G--------------------------------
D---------------2---------------
A---------------2---------------
E---------------0---------------

and the second/third powerchords in verse are supost to be on the A string instead of the E.

[phpn00bf4life]

Even if that was true, removing the 3rd would then affect the feeling as well, which you have claimed to be inconsequential!

-SD :dance:
I agree with him totally, punk or not, it makes more sense with the 3 in it.

[BlueZephyr]

the verse is definately heavier than the intro. anyway, i don't really like the intro. find the time signature for one and some of the notes seem outta place. i dont have an idea of how to flow the intro and verse. sorry.