Last shot at a decent song..


PDA

View Full Version : Last shot at a decent song..


Garb
01-14-2006, 02:29 PM
I'm gonna try yet another metal song(sortive). The solo is crappy, the timing and tone are probably crappy too, but whatever...Be as truthful as you can with your critique, and try to help too.. =P This will be the last thing you all have to put up with of mine if it's gonna go down like I think it is, so here it is..
e|-----------------------------------
B|-----------------------------------
G|----------------------------------- Riff A
D|-----------------------------------
A|-----------------------------------
E|0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-8-8-8-8-6-6-6-6
P.M................................

e|--------------------
B|--------------------
G|-------------------- Riff B
D|--------------------
A|-0-0-8-8-8-8-6-6-6-6
E|0-0-0---------------
P.M.................

e|-----
B|-----
G|-----
D|----- Riff C
A|-8-6-
E|6-0-8
P.M..

e|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Riff D
D|-----------------------------------------------------------------------11--11--11--11
A|6/11-11-11-11-11-11-11-6/11-11-11-11-11-11-11-6/11-11-11-11-11-11-11-14--13--12--11--
E|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.M.................................................................

+
e|------R-------9p7p6------9p7p6------9p7p6------9p7p6------9b-6-----9b-----7b-----6b-------------9b-----7b-----9b-----7b-----9b
B|------R-8b(8b)-----8p7p6------8p7p6------8p7p6------8p7p6-----8p7p6--8p7p6--8p7p6--8p7p6\0-8p7p6--8p7p6--8p7p6--8p7p6--8p7p6--
G|------R----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Solo
D|------R-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A|-8-6--R-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E|6-0-8-R-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.M..

e|-------------------------------------------------
B|-------------------------------------------------
G|------------------------------------------------- Riff E
D|--11--11--11--11--11--11--11--11-11--12--13--14--
A|14--13--12--11--14--13--12--11-----11--11--11--11
E|-------------------------------------------------

e|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Riff F
D|11-11-11-11-12-12-12-12-13-13-13-13-12-12-12-12-11-11-11-11-12-12-12-12-13-13-13-13-12-12-12-12
A|11-11-11-11-12-12-12-12-13-13-13-13-12-12-12-12-11-11-11-11-12-12-12-12-13-13-13-13-12-12-12-12
E|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

+ is a pinch harmonic.

Riff A x3
Riff B x2
Riff A x2
Riff B x1
Riff C x1
Riff B x2
Riff C x3
Riff D x1
Riff A x4
Riff D x1
Riff B x2
Riff C x5
Riff F & Solo
Riff D x3
Riff E x3
Riff A x2
Riff B x1
Riff C x6
Riff F x3
Riff C x4


Recording in my signature..."best" metal...

piratepirate
01-14-2006, 04:47 PM
Honestly i couldnt decipher that tab very well, but i did listen to the recording.

Yeah, timing issues first come to mind. try practicing with a metronome. You have a few solid riffs in there, some of the stuff sounds like just filler noise and doesnt really have much direction. The piece overall seems to be a "cut-and-paste" job of sticking a bunch of riffs together. There were some solo/lead-y parts that just sounded out of key and very dissonant (maybe on purpose, but just thought i'd point it out) It also sounds like you were having some trouble moving your fingers along from the recording, lots of hesitation inturrupting the song. I'd suggest working at slower tempos till its perfect then increase your speed later.

Also, structure. There's nothing here thats screaming "verse" or "chorus" or "bridge" or "interlude," or even "solo" for that matter. Work on making solid rythms and leads. try to form a "backbone" to your song.

Anyway that's my 2 cents.

Pr0phecy_X
01-14-2006, 05:46 PM
I really enjoyed the chunking section of the riff although the timing defiantly needs to be worked out but the riff itself would sound absolutly amazing after.

the slide from 6 to 11 sounds rancid and the chugging of the 11fret I did not like at all but once again the rythem chunking section is very nice, good work.

FearOfTheDark1
01-15-2006, 04:50 PM
I Like It but you should change the slide from 6 to 11 to 7 to 9 i think it might sound a little better. I like your rhythm section though sounds nice.