embarassing erections


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chase09
01-15-2006, 01:58 PM
Last night at a party, we were playing Truth or Dare (childish, I know) and my friend was leaning against this girl he's dated twice (and both times never got any farther than 2 kisses at a dance that lasted about 5 seconds each) and he dared her to give him a head massage. We proceeded to point out his miniature erection that he had whilst making the dare and we all had a good laugh over it. He denied having one, but seeing as how he kept his crotchal area covered with blankets/pillows for the next couple of minutes, it was obvious he had one.

Basically, this thread is for telling your fellow UG'ers about some embarassing erection moments.

bassman24
01-15-2006, 02:02 PM
Dave MC's sheckshy Ass got me into trouble whilst i was talking to SD one time. But then Whappen came in and got jealous of not having any attention, so Jallas comforted him, And All the time Dreadnought was playing some nice acoustic backing music for the whole affair.

:cheers:

justinhawkins
01-15-2006, 02:05 PM
you've been here a month, and you know the mods? bull.

i once got an erection in my 7th grade math class, and then my mom came in to pick me up for a doctors appointment. unfortunately i was on the opposite side of the room so i had to walk across the entire class.

mogwai777
01-15-2006, 02:07 PM
I got one last night when I was with this girl who I just started dating the day before, while she was sitting on my lap...it kind of hurt actually, but when she noticed, she actually didn't get mad about it, which was awesome.

ArcherTheVMan
01-15-2006, 02:07 PM
bassman are you actually talking about the same subject?

bassman24
01-15-2006, 02:09 PM
bassman are you actually talking about the same subject?

yeah...its what happens when you see an ass so sexy it hurts.

:)

Slash_HuDsOn
01-15-2006, 02:10 PM
gym class had 2 run around the gym a few times, so as u can imagine, bouncy bouncy bouncy

ufossuck
01-15-2006, 02:11 PM
I never have embaressing erections. The secret is to point them up and no one will notice.

DaddyTwoFoot
01-15-2006, 02:11 PM
Why, could this be the new "omg period on a chair" thread?

I can't think of any specific times I've been caught popping.

kirbyrocknroll
01-15-2006, 02:13 PM
Girl you like + sit next to in homeroom+ erection= :o

EDIT: It's erections at bad times all over again :p:

Bodom_Shredder7
01-15-2006, 02:15 PM
i always get them in math class and i have to pray to god that the etacher or someone doesnt call me to the front of the class

2ndslash
01-15-2006, 02:15 PM
dentists chair

##_Guitar-newb
01-15-2006, 02:15 PM
you've been here a month, and you know the mods? bull.

i once got an erection in my 7th grade math class, and then my mom came in to pick me up for a doctors appointment. unfortunately i was on the opposite side of the room so i had to walk across the entire class.

haha u got an erection while staring at ur mama ?^?^

chase09
01-15-2006, 02:26 PM
I never have embaressing erections. The secret is to point them up and no one will notice.

thats what i do. but sometimes when a girl is hugging you or something like that, it makes it quite difficult to grab and hide them. I usually do it when no ones looking, or i'll fix it the way i like and then fiddle with my pants on the sides to make it look like i'm just fixing a wedgie, or some other wardrobe malfunction

giorgio1210
01-15-2006, 02:34 PM
lol, whenever im bored in class and start thinking about stuff like that I try to get my mind off it by thinking about guitar or picturing a les paul in my head lol, getting horny in class sucks.

mogwai777
01-15-2006, 02:35 PM
i always get them in math class and i have to pray to god that the etacher or someone doesnt call me to the front of the class

Oh my god! That happened to me every single day last year, at the same time every frickin day. There wasn't anybody attractive in that class, but it was always about the time groups had to give a presentation on an overhead, so I'd always go up there trying to conceal this big ol' boner.

DaddyTwoFoot
01-15-2006, 02:35 PM
lol, whenever im bored in class and start thinking about stuff like that I try to get my mind off it by thinking about guitar or picturing a les paul in my head lol, getting horny in class sucks.

I try that, but then I think of naked women and guitars, and it completely defeats the purpose.

giorgio1210
01-15-2006, 02:39 PM
yea, i probably forgot to mention it usually doesnt work because sometimes class is just so damn boring and you wanna jack off but you know you cant so you try not to think about it but you know you want to lol

freewheelinbird
01-15-2006, 02:44 PM
its a curse. its whenevber i am wearing pajama pants, and theres like nothing i can do about it. the worst is when it happens in chorus

1fine69
01-15-2006, 02:45 PM
Yeah, the worst is when you're friends house and his mom or sister wakes you up and you realize you have extremely obvious morning wood.

freewheelinbird
01-15-2006, 02:47 PM
gym class had 2 run around the gym a few times, so as u can imagine, bouncy bouncy bouncy

you have a bouncy penis?

Guitarist132
01-15-2006, 02:50 PM
This is just the Erection at bad times thread remade.

Which reminds me of the "rising sun" story :haha: :haha: Best story ever.

Cathedral
01-15-2006, 02:51 PM
Dancing with a girl at a Christmas party who was a clear foot shorter than me and wearing a very loose top. Some fancy footwork while readjusting myself was required and im not too good on a dance floor.

Jawkster
01-15-2006, 02:56 PM
had 1 once in a monday morning assembly at skool. singing hymns. i was looking at the hot french teacher. fool.

bucky_2300
01-15-2006, 03:02 PM
On a couch with a group of people, and a very attractive girl leaning right up against me. Kind of all over. It was a crowded couch. Anyway, the inevitable happened, and just as she turned around and looked at me, my cell phone went off. Unfortunately, it was on vibrate. Her look of what had been smiley-curiosity turned to a mixture of awe and horror. As it turned out, she was under the impression that as well as having an erection, I could make my penis vibrate at high frequencies.

That one took a while to laugh off.

AH@2112
01-15-2006, 03:03 PM
At summer camp me and some friend decided to sleep out side... my friend showed me a picture of his girlfriend (who is extremely hot) and i got an erection and it stuck up in my sleeping bag and then a female couciler walked by and said hi and started staring at it(my erection) when she left me and my friends just started laughing

kirbyrocknroll
01-15-2006, 03:04 PM
This is just the Erection at bad times thread remade.

Which reminds me of the "rising sun" story :haha: :haha: Best story ever.
Oh yeah! :haha...that was great....

terrencemaddox
01-15-2006, 03:04 PM
you've been here a month, and you know the mods? bull.

i once got an erection in my 7th grade math class, and then my mom came in to pick me up for a doctors appointment. unfortunately i was on the opposite side of the room so i had to walk across the entire class.

yeah, in-class erections are a problem so you just have to play it off with a point and a smile

reckless_life
01-15-2006, 03:06 PM
that was the best thread ever. geting it back up (pun intended) onto the board as a great idea

NevermorePsalm
01-15-2006, 03:07 PM
Its not that embarrasing, because most of the time afterward, the girls that saw it ask me out. Coincidence? I dont think so.

AH@2112
01-15-2006, 03:07 PM
you have a bouncy penis?
sigged

tim_mop
01-15-2006, 03:16 PM
I got one last night when I was with this girl who I just started dating the day before, while she was sitting on my lap...it kind of hurt actually, but when she noticed, she actually didn't get mad about it, which was awesome.

thats funny i get that.. but my gf don mind

class erections are the worst! i had to stand up in spanish nd didnt have time to pop it up :(

Still Life
01-15-2006, 03:24 PM
I never have embaressing erections. The secret is to point them up and no one will notice.
That is also what I do, simple solution.

i always get them in math class and i have to pray to god that the etacher or someone doesnt call me to the front of the class
Someone sure likes math!

AH@2112
01-15-2006, 03:24 PM
One time i had an erection...like a HUGE erection and my history teacher called me to the front of the class to do sherades and i had democratic party and no one guessed it for ten minutes and the whole time i had an erection.

kenshinzorz
01-15-2006, 03:29 PM
i have these jeans that get stuck under my belt when i sit down.. so when I stand up it looks like I have a massive erection. It pisses me off, I have to push my belt buckle down everytime I stand up

Still Life
01-15-2006, 03:30 PM
One time i had an erection...like a HUGE erection and my history teacher called me to the front of the class to do sherades and i had democratic party and no one guessed it for ten minutes and the whole time i had an erection.
perhaps they were all too busy looking at it to guess what you were trying to do.

AH@2112
01-15-2006, 03:33 PM
perhaps they were all too busy looking at it to guess what you were trying to do.
:haha probably

another time the girl i like she sits next to me and i got the biggest erection of my life and she looks down near it and says: "i see you got a new belt" and i was like "ya........." (i don't think she was looking at my new belt)

Iluvpowerchords
01-15-2006, 03:54 PM
I wear Briefs, my erections go unnoticed. ;)

Sqeeezie
01-15-2006, 04:17 PM
one girl played with my erection during math, i got jacked off under a table during a test, she just grabbed it! i was like WTF and she just smiled, but she got the answers from my test, sneaky james bond stuff she pulled...

Meths
01-15-2006, 04:24 PM
Bullshit.^

My friends went to see Romeo And Juliet and the at the end the guy playing Romeo had a hard-on, and since they were in tights and stuff it was fairly noticeable. He was lying down pretending to be dead since it was the end, and when everyone was clapping my friend yelled out "BONER!" to which Romeo's corpse responded by going bright red. :haha

Still Life
01-15-2006, 04:26 PM
one girl played with my erection during math, i got jacked off under a table during a test, she just grabbed it! i was like WTF and she just smiled, but she got the answers from my test, sneaky james bond stuff she pulled...
what is this about you people getting erections in math class? You must be the third or fourth person to mention it in this thread already...

What is so damn attractive about math

Meths
01-15-2006, 04:26 PM
Maybe it's calculus' sexy curves. . .

Still Life
01-15-2006, 04:29 PM
Maybe it's calculus' sexy curves. . .
oh excellent, I will have one hell of a next semester ending my day with calculus in just a month...sexy sexy calculus

aPIRATEwithADD
01-15-2006, 04:33 PM
What is so damn attractive about math

:haha :haha

Well, the teacher caught me, my friend, and two girls with our shirts untucked (i go to a private school). we had to go out in the hall and the whole time i had a erection. i had it untucked to "conceal" it and the girls noticed it when i was tucking my shirt in, their eyes got quite large, that and my friend just laughed

edit: this was during math class.

Wannabehippie
01-15-2006, 04:35 PM
Bullshit.^

My friends went to see Romeo And Juliet and the at the end the guy playing Romeo had a hard-on, and since they were in tights and stuff it was fairly noticeable. He was lying down pretending to be dead since it was the end, and when everyone was clapping my friend yelled out "BONER!" to which Romeo's corpse responded by going bright red. :haha


:haha

Your friend sounds like a great man, seriously that was awesome...:haha

Meths
01-15-2006, 04:37 PM
:haha

Your friend sounds like a great man, seriously that was awesome...:haha


It was a girl.



:haha

But yeah she is pretty great. :haha

nick dixon
01-15-2006, 04:38 PM
I get a real bad errection once at woodwork at school, this girl was like propper giving me "the look" and then it was just unstoppable, its got a mind of it's own. Luckly I had time to quickly tuck melvin before anyone notcied.

AH@2112
01-15-2006, 04:42 PM
I get a real bad errection once at woodwork at school, this girl was like propper giving me "the look" and then it was just unstoppable, its got a mind of it's own. Luckly I had time to quickly tuck melvin before anyone notcied.
woodwork eh?

sorry had to

freewheelinbird
01-15-2006, 04:44 PM
remember kids: dont be a loner, cover that boner!

GoodCharloteSux
01-15-2006, 04:45 PM
^ I was thinking the same exact thing

AH@2112
01-15-2006, 04:46 PM
remember kids: dont be a loner, cover that boner!
:cheers:

freewheelinbird
01-15-2006, 04:48 PM
one time i was wearing pajama pants and i had a huge boner in the bahtroom, and i spotted it in the mirror....it couldnt be missed so i was like "shiit!!" so i went in a stall, shot a round, came out again but it wouldnt go away...so i spent like five minutes running my hand through cold water then putting it in my pants, and kept doing that and it slowly went awya, but this kid came in when i was doing it, so i whipped my wet hand out of my pants, and tried hard to act casual...awkward.

Cathedral
01-15-2006, 04:50 PM
I wear Briefs, my erections go unnoticed. ;)

You either have very tight briefs or...nevermind.

Glen_Hansard
01-15-2006, 04:57 PM
I always get them in Maths. It's my "Wonder what size bra everyone has" class.

One time is was talking to a girl I fancied. I was sitting on a chair[with my hands on my lap] and she was putting stuff in her locker. She suddenly sat down on my lap, thought my hands was a boner and jumped up. She started laughing when I explained so it was all ok. I ****ed that up so bad.

WolfMan01
01-15-2006, 04:59 PM
This has been done before.

Meths
01-15-2006, 05:02 PM
This has been done before.


Have a cookie:
http://jolle.se/imgs/cookie.jpg

bassman92
01-15-2006, 05:02 PM
Yesterday I was at the movies with my gf and I got a boner and then she moved to where she was basically sitting on my lap and I think she noticed... very awkward

Glen_Hansard
01-15-2006, 05:02 PM
Holy **** that's a huge cookie.

Meths
01-15-2006, 05:04 PM
Holy **** that's a huge cookie.

I thought since it was such a fantastically insightful observation, it deserved one hell of a cookie.




And I didn't check the size before I posted it.

Skippy_McNutty
01-15-2006, 05:06 PM
Man i get em everyday at school sometime when im in my desk so I try to point it up so its behind my pants haha but no ones ever saw me- that i know of.

Glen_Hansard
01-15-2006, 05:06 PM
I thought since it was such a fantastically insightful observation, it deserved one hell of a cookie.

And I didn't check the size before I posted it.

I would have done the same thing.

I always get a boner in Maths and Irish. A guy in my Irish class put a pencil on his boner(it was still in his pants). When people went to get the pencil he... flicked it...

Iluvpowerchords
01-15-2006, 05:07 PM
You either have very tight briefs or...nevermind.

:haha

No, not that.

They're briefs, erections always point up. I like 'em 'cause they're supportive.

Meths
01-15-2006, 05:09 PM
I would have done the same thing.

I always get a boner in Maths and Irish. A guy in my Irish class put a pencil on his boner(it was still in his pants). When people went to get the pencil he... flicked it...

Wow, I didn't know they taught Irish in schools. Even in Ireland.

And I don't think I get them that often. My penis control is too awesome. When I have a girlfriend I always get them really easy around her though. That can get annoying sometimes.

ufossuck
01-15-2006, 05:09 PM
Hmm... I never get erections in math, math sucks! I kept getting them in english last year, but I don't get too many in school anymore. Sometimes when I fall asleep I wake up with one, I guess it's like morning wood but not as bad.

Glen_Hansard
01-15-2006, 05:11 PM
Wow, I didn't know they taught Irish in schools. Even in Ireland.

And I don't think I get them that often. My penis control is too awesome. When I have a girlfriend I always get them really easy around her though. That can get annoying sometimes.

They do teach Irish. If you have a bad teacher it's hell :( I did in primary school.

I always get them because the size a sexy girl in my class boobs keep on changing. I can't help noticing :(

WlCmToTheJungle
01-15-2006, 05:11 PM
there is actually a kid in my math class last year that cut a hole in his pocket and jacked off....smart kid i might add :)

ufossuck
01-15-2006, 05:17 PM
there is actually a kid in my math class last year that cut a hole in his pocket and jacked off....smart kid i might add :)
That's an amusing story.

The computer system at my school gives every student an account on the server. When you're logged in it will save all documents in you're account with your name on it. when you print out something it will have your name at the bottom. One guy in my school printed off porn and beat off in the washroom, leaving it there. They found it later with his name and... stuff on it.

bassman92
01-15-2006, 05:23 PM
:haha^

Still Life
01-15-2006, 05:29 PM
That's an amusing story.

The computer system at my school gives every student an account on the server. When you're logged in it will save all documents in you're account with your name on it. when you print out something it will have your name at the bottom. One guy in my school printed off porn and beat off in the washroom, leaving it there. They found it later with his name and... stuff on it.
wow, that is just plain awkward, with a slight hint of stupid

ufossuck
01-15-2006, 05:31 PM
wow, that is just plain awkward, with a slight hint of stupid
I go to a very stupid school.

robt18
01-15-2006, 05:46 PM
i got one the first day i was with my girlfriend while she was sitting on my lap. It was embarrassing but it turns out she loved it. she gave me many more after that. we had alot of fun in 2 months. now shes just a bitch.

soundwave05683
01-15-2006, 05:51 PM
well i dont have any bad stories but heres how u get out of them
when u notice ur starting to get one, stop what ur thinking, space out, and think of the sound of a vowel until it goes back to normal
There, I solved a global problem, thank you.

fuzzybunny
01-15-2006, 05:59 PM
Maybe it's calculus' sexy curves. . .
Damn it, it is a sexy subject! Though "bend me over a pair of matrices and put me to the chi squared test, baby" wasn't perhaps the cleverest thing to go writing in the back of my book just before the teacher took them in when I was in sixth form.

I don't tend to have the whole hard on problem. Happens to the best of you, I suppose. Last term, a guy in the back of one of my lectures whispered to the guy next to him "I have a stiffy..." just as the lecturer paused and everything went quiet. Poor sod.

pumpkins_rule
01-15-2006, 06:03 PM
The worst is getting them during the national anthem. You can't give your wang a flick or else someone's gonna look at you. It's ridiculously uncomfortable to have the head of an erect penis rubbing against your jeans.

DAn THe MAn 001
01-15-2006, 06:05 PM
I had to give a school presentation once,and i was just standing there while over half the class was staring at me.

metalmonsterr
01-15-2006, 07:19 PM
i jacked off in the 5th grade in my music class while some girl was watching me and i was so into it that when i was done i showed my dick to her i dont know why... i barely remember it but all i know is...damn i was cool :cool:

EDIT: she also went to the 8th grade dance with me too :)

Shoestick
01-15-2006, 07:25 PM
^ :puke:

EDIT: Seriously. That is some fucked up shit.

metalmonsterr
01-15-2006, 07:27 PM
lol to tell you the truth i just remembered that ^

rock_star77
01-15-2006, 07:49 PM
You're a load of bull my friend... what class are you in where there is no teacher (especially in fifth grade) to stop you from doing this?

I use to get the a lot in elementary school during class but now I'm working too hard in class to be bothered to get one lol.

I was at a party one time and my girlfriend (ex now) was sitting on my lap, and I got one, now this was no problem me and her had encountered this problem before, however, for the life of me, it wouldn't go away. Before you knew it, everyone was going swimming and me and my girlfriend hung back until it went away. When we went swimming, everyone had thought I scored... I hadn't.

Mr_Mysterio
01-15-2006, 07:59 PM
I get em all the time in class, thankfully my teachers never call ppl up to the front, and i can kind of control it, i just think about other cocks and it goes away lol, but in com tech class, there's this girl that sits beside me, and she's pretty cute, and when she stretches, i can't help but look, and BOOM it's back, so, more cocks, and down it goes, i swear it's like an elevator, up, down, up, down all bloody day.

tallyKHLUJHRT
01-15-2006, 08:17 PM
church

King'sXfan590
01-15-2006, 08:19 PM
Solution: Don't wear boxers, wear boxer-briefs. People wear boxers and then complain about having a visible erection. Pisses me off.

Anyway, this one time in P.E. this girl kept rubbing her arm against a wall so it would have static and she would shock me over and over. The static made me get a massive erection.

<_<

>_>

Still Life
01-15-2006, 08:25 PM
^ ANOTHER for math class! Oh that sexy, sexy mathematics, how loved it is by so many. I had no idea

Nelshizzle
01-15-2006, 08:28 PM
Hahahaha. I woke up in my history class once and I kinda got like a morning wood which didnt want to go down for like 15 minuets. Everyone was able to see it and I didnt give a **** because I wanted to make it to my next class just to go to sleep again. :)

newyorkdolls138
01-15-2006, 08:35 PM
8th grade math.
I'M SERIOUS.

Cliff Burton
01-15-2006, 08:37 PM
never had one

Still Life
01-15-2006, 08:37 PM
If we have learned anything from this thread......
















math is a slut

metalmonsterr
01-15-2006, 08:45 PM
no the teacher was in there when i did it.. but they dont pay that much attention :confused: i dont go to private school

snapneck
01-15-2006, 08:46 PM
Last night at a party, we were playing Truth or Dare (childish, I know) and my friend was leaning against this girl he's dated twice (and both times never got any farther than 2 kisses at a dance that lasted about 5 seconds each) and he dared her to give him a head massage. We proceeded to point out his miniature erection that he had whilst making the dare and we all had a good laugh over it. He denied having one, but seeing as how he kept his crotchal area covered with blankets/pillows for the next couple of minutes, it was obvious he had one.

Basically, this thread is for telling your fellow UG'ers about some embarassing erection moments.

hahah man thats ****ing great.

I es sleepy
01-15-2006, 08:50 PM
YUP its sucks alot when it happens to you
but i found out a way that helps me get rid of them
what i do is chant the pledge of alligence in my head alot of times untill it goes away
it works for me!!

DAn THe MAn 001
01-15-2006, 08:54 PM
oh yeah,and also,every morning on the way to school,i get one just before i get out of the car,i guess because of all the speedbumps making my dick rub against my pants...


EDIT:

what i do is chant the pledge of alligence in my head alot of times untill it goes away
it works for me!!


I think about skateboarding.

Guitarist132
01-15-2006, 08:58 PM
I get em all the time in class, thankfully my teachers never call ppl up to the front, and i can kind of control it, i just think about other cocks and it goes away.
Really that makes me get harder.. It gets like a competition.

Pysmone
01-15-2006, 09:01 PM
Ehh, when I get em on the way to school. Never fails. And usually in Chem and Hort. But I sit next to 2 insanely hot chicks in both classes.

bobbynogo
01-15-2006, 09:15 PM
woodwork eh?

sorry had to

DAMN! you beat me to it

metalmonsterr
01-15-2006, 09:18 PM
no the teacher was in there when i did it.. but they dont pay that much attention :confused: i dont go to private school

Cadd99
01-15-2006, 09:25 PM
I have no control over it, so I stopped caring.

terrencemaddox
01-15-2006, 09:32 PM
it may be a pain but one day you might be complaining about not being able to get it up...and I don't know about you but I don't like the viagra method at all :(

crazygluedmybut
01-15-2006, 09:35 PM
ironically, i just came out of the thread about whether or not, the pit will run out of thread ideas. and all the older members said that it's just a cycle of threads. they're right.

DaveGilmour1189
01-15-2006, 09:49 PM
i was in a room alone with this one girl doing some school stuff. She's VERY strait-laced.. actually goes to church on her own free will and is real nice. also one of the hottest girls in school... anywho, i get a big boner. She looks at me and asks me if i find her attractive. Knowing her, i think for a moment to try to say something classy, yet let her know that i like her. Sadly, i only manage a yeah. She then says "let me fix that for you," pulls down my pants and give me a good handjob. She's my girlfriend now. I'd say that ended up well.

bucky_2300
01-15-2006, 09:52 PM
^ I call bullshit on you.

jackio1986
01-15-2006, 09:54 PM
i used to get them on the school bus, damn those sexy vibrations

Still Life
01-15-2006, 09:59 PM
the school bus vibrations are apparently nothing compared to the seductive math class

AH@2112
01-15-2006, 10:01 PM
For some reason i always get them in history..maybe its because i sit next to a hot girl...

But anyways one time i went swimming i was on cruise and there were a lot of hot girls around and i go over to lounge chair to dry off i but it completley back and i fell asleep and then when woke up guess what i had morning wood and i was sitting next to some very hot girls and i was lying down so stuck straight up everyone that walked by stared at it my friend said.

jackson_marshal
01-15-2006, 10:01 PM
one time a girl i used to have the hots for was sitting on my lap and her skirt kind of like fliked over my legs so it was like she was sitting jus in her panties on my lap when i cracked a huge boner she jus laughed at me lol

smitherson
01-15-2006, 10:05 PM
I was at my g/fs house and we were on the couch and she was leaning on me and her back was on my crotch and I got one. We were watching tv and I laughed and Smitherson Jr. moved a lil and I know she felt it. After like 5 seconds she sat up straight and looked at my crotch for a couple seconds then looked away. She doesn't know a lot about sex and doubt she knows what a boner is.

AH@2112
01-15-2006, 10:07 PM
I was at my g/fs house and we were on the couch and she was leaning on me and her back was on my crotch and I got one. We were watching tv and I laughed and Smitherson Jr. moved a lil and I know she felt it. After like 5 seconds she sat up straight and looked at my crotch for a couple seconds then looked away. She doesn't know a lot about sex and doubt she knows what a boner is.
:haha tell her you had a pencill in your pants :haha

kenshinzorz
01-15-2006, 10:09 PM
I was at my g/fs house and we were on the couch and she was leaning on me and her back was on my crotch and I got one. We were watching tv and I laughed and Smitherson Jr. moved a lil and I know she felt it. After like 5 seconds she sat up straight and looked at my crotch for a couple seconds then looked away. She doesn't know a lot about sex and doubt she knows what a boner is.

well you should of taught her

318Charger
01-15-2006, 10:09 PM
I get them in gym class too. Then you have to try to adjust it while no girls are watchin. it sucks.

One time i was grinding with this girl and when you do that you can't help but get an erection. So i bet the girl was totally freaked out. but hell, i got to grind with a girl man!

aaron13
01-15-2006, 10:10 PM
wear pajamas boxers and pants it hides the whole thing

AH@2112
01-15-2006, 10:11 PM
okay heres how it works people to hide boners
Boxers=obvious
Briefs=hidden
Tighty whiteys=they wouldn't be able to see your penis anyway!

pakistanman
01-15-2006, 10:17 PM
Dave MC's sheckshy Ass got me into trouble whilst i was talking to SD one time. But then Whappen came in and got jealous of not having any attention, so Jallas comforted him, And All the time Dreadnought was playing some nice acoustic backing music for the whole affair.

:cheers:


:haha :confused: u lost me at the part about the penguins and the car chase

star1navyboy
01-15-2006, 10:20 PM
**** on the way to school i get a ride with like 4 hot grls and im the only guy in the van and im like oh ****....and put my backpack on it

AH@2112
01-15-2006, 10:21 PM
**** on the way to school i get a ride with like 4 hot grls and im the only guy in the van and im like oh ****....and put my backpack on it
Smooth :cool:

utsapp89
01-15-2006, 10:28 PM
You shouldn't take hard-ons for granted.

freewheelinbird
01-15-2006, 10:30 PM
i was in a room alone with this one girl doing some school stuff. She's VERY strait-laced.. actually goes to church on her own free will and is real nice. also one of the hottest girls in school... anywho, i get a big boner. She looks at me and asks me if i find her attractive. Knowing her, i think for a moment to try to say something classy, yet let her know that i like her. Sadly, i only manage a yeah. She then says "let me fix that for you," pulls down my pants and give me a good handjob. She's my girlfriend now. I'd say that ended up well.

youre the worst liar i've ever seen here. i mean, the other bad liars actually do it so you know that they know its obvious, but you act like people would believe you. go away.

Beckerism
01-15-2006, 11:02 PM
youre the worst liar i've ever seen here. i mean, the other bad liars actually do it so you know that they know its obvious, but you act like people would believe you. go away.
:haha

misfitsdisciple
01-15-2006, 11:17 PM
worst one is in the car for a job interview, you drive to the work, and you get a hardon, you stand up and you notice you have one, but i was running late. so i had to go in with it, i tucked/covered so it wasnt noticeable but it hurt like a mofo later.

Canada911
01-15-2006, 11:31 PM
^ ANOTHER for math class! Oh that sexy, sexy mathematics, how loved it is by so many. I had no idea

lol in all those "whats happening to me" books I read in seventh grade it would allways say "if you get an erection in class just think about maths"

what a lie

harm0n20
01-15-2006, 11:33 PM
haha i got a good one.

so there was this kid in my gym class who was well... a computer nerd. so one day all the guys are doing a pull up test and all the chicks are running laps around the gym. this kid is wearing sweat pants and when he gets up on the bar to do pull ups he gets a boner. right as all the chicks were running by him. the funny thing is, is this happened in 8th grade and well for an eight grader he was packing quite a bit. the next week he got his first girlfriend.

freewheelinbird
01-15-2006, 11:49 PM
lol in all those "whats happening to me" books I read in seventh grade it would allways say "if you get an erection in class just think about maths"

what a lie

i love those books

Still Life
01-16-2006, 07:53 AM
lol in all those "whats happening to me" books I read in seventh grade it would allways say "if you get an erection in class just think about maths"

what a lie
I guess the UG correction to that would be "if you get an erection in class, you are likely in math"

Brendan DEwald
01-16-2006, 08:09 AM
when i make out with my GF i get one it is so imbarasing

Draken
01-16-2006, 09:06 AM
I don't have errections at random. My penis is under my complete control.

AH@2112
01-16-2006, 09:20 AM
One time when i was with my best friend (a girl who i find very attractive) i got the biggest boner in the world and it was so obvious and she looked at and said "i see you got new pants" and i laughed. O ya she still doesn't know what a boner is. How come there are a lot of canadians getting random boners?

misfitsdisciple
01-16-2006, 09:25 AM
when i make out with my GF i get one it is so imbarasing

thats not embarassing thats the need to have sex.

AH@2112
01-16-2006, 09:26 AM
thats not embarassing thats the need to have sex.
:cheers:

Draken
01-16-2006, 09:34 AM
How come there are a lot of canadians getting random boners?


:haha damn you horny canadians i knew chaka shouldn't be allowed outside.

codybcool
01-16-2006, 09:57 AM
In my maths class there's this girl that sits next to me that is incredibly fine and she's always touching me and resting her head on my shoulder and stuff and touching my leg and i'm sort of thinking "No for the love of God don't do it!" but at the same i want her to but it's always painful trying to conceal the wood while she's touching me.

Yes, maths class :(

Funkbass796
01-16-2006, 10:13 AM
One time while hanging out with an ex girlfriend (whom I still liked) We were walking outside and all of a sudden boner came out of nowhere. so I had to bend over like I got a sharp pain in my stomach, it worked and got her sympathy. What can I say, I'm a master at concealing.

chase09
01-16-2006, 10:22 AM
alright, i've read all your posts and i think i have the boner story to trump them all. now, this wasn't a boner i had, but 2 boners that 2 seniors behind my friend and i in choir had. they were wearing nylon pants, popped boners, then proceeded to rub them against our backs and arms while singing the nat'l anthem.

it sucked

AH@2112
01-16-2006, 10:27 AM
alright, i've read all your posts and i think i have the boner story to trump them all. now, this wasn't a boner i had, but 2 boners that 2 seniors behind my friend and i in choir had. they were wearing nylon pants, popped boners, then proceeded to rub them against our backs and arms while singing the nat'l anthem.

it sucked
I want to call bull**** on you but i wont

one time i woke up in my pajamas had morning wood and went into the tv room where i forgot my sister had her friends over and they all started laughing.

chase09
01-16-2006, 10:30 AM
^good, because its true. the majority of the preppy guy seniors/juniors and along with some sophomores all hug each other and do other slightly homesexual things. and yes, clayton and mattie don't mind rubbing their penises against 2 freshmen.

AH@2112
01-16-2006, 10:31 AM
^good, because its true. the majority of the preppy guy seniors/juniors and along with some sophomores all hug each other and do other slightly homesexual things. and yes, clayton and mattie don't mind rubbing their penises against 2 freshmen.
wow you go to a pretty queer school

NovemberRain273
01-16-2006, 10:45 AM
one time in french class, my friend had a boner and me and 2 other guys all saw it. so one of them says in the middle of class 'so paul, u still stiff?' it was hilarious.

and in 6th or 7th grade i always got one in homeroom, and the teacher used to call someone up to the front of the class to start mornign prayers, so each morning id wear this long school wintr coat in case she called me up and one time she did :( luckily no one saw cuz of the coat.

and i dunno, when i get one in class or something cuz im thinking of somethign horny, i just try and forget about it and concentrate on what the teachers saying and it goes away by itself.

chase09
01-16-2006, 10:51 AM
wow you go to a pretty queer school

the whole school isn't like that, just a select few (few meaning 20). but since there's only about 1k ppl at our school k-12, it seems like a lot.

EDIT: the funny thing is, all these preps that do this are our jocks too

Something Big
01-16-2006, 10:53 AM
pajama pants at the dentist
it gets no worse

AH@2112
01-16-2006, 10:55 AM
pajama pants at the dentist
it gets no worse
uhh wow

achan852
01-16-2006, 11:00 AM
sitting next to my friend in class. computer room. had a spontaneous erection n she spotted it. she looked down at my left leg, n looked back at the computer screen smiling. n i noticed a second later. haha. ok well she was pretty hot so probably wasnt spontaneous.

gonstathis
01-16-2006, 11:03 AM
there is no such thing as an embarassing erecton.Why would yu be embarassed?It's like saying you are embarassed to laugh

Life Lease
01-16-2006, 11:52 AM
We have a regular gym class most of the year, but we do different units. Right now, our unit is swimming, and we have a pool inside our school. Well, turns out, it's CO-ED swimming. Most of the girls are nasty, but there's a couple lookers, and I had an erection for, I swear to God, 35 minutes whilst trying to conceal it under water... Good thing I didn't have to walk out of the pool with it...

Zebrahead_SICK
01-16-2006, 11:59 AM
there is no such thing as an embarassing erecton.Why would yu be embarassed?It's like saying you are embarassed to laugh
I dunno about u but the girls proberly like u and ur pet stick because ur proberly good looking guys(proberly)For us average joes if u get a RISE out of school and someone sees they dont think ur cool,they go eEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRAARGH,and the guys laugh at u for a month.PS to make it worse there r about5 tops nice looking girls in our year :(

Also,we have a new system in our school in the uk,which alows the teacher to see wateva a student is doing on the pc and while 1 boy was having fun,his friend was about to ,lets say,come back to earth.......

Meths
01-16-2006, 02:40 PM
Damn it, it is a sexy subject! Though "bend me over a pair of matrices and put me to the chi squared test, baby" wasn't perhaps the cleverest thing to go writing in the back of my book just before the teacher took them in when I was in sixth form.

I don't tend to have the whole hard on problem. Happens to the best of you, I suppose. Last term, a guy in the back of one of my lectures whispered to the guy next to him "I have a stiffy..." just as the lecturer paused and everything went quiet. Poor sod.

:haha:haha

I'll take your word for it. I've never done calculus. Sounds more entertaining than most maths lessons lol.

Times when the room goes quiet and everyone listens to the conversation are so funny. :haha If only because it usually takes the last person to shut up a while to notice that everyone's listening lol.

slashnmash
01-16-2006, 02:46 PM
Lol this thread is funny!

daft
01-16-2006, 02:59 PM
I always get them in Maths. It's my "Wonder what size bra everyone has" class.


I used to play that game last year before I dropped Maths :D

I am not bad for them in school, but the bus is like viagra for me - all those kinky bumps. It used to be worse I must admit.

EDIT: there was a teacher in my school last week called Mr Bonnar :D

Citiz3n 3ras3d
01-16-2006, 03:00 PM
Yeah, the worst is when you're friends house and his mom or sister wakes you up and you realize you have extremely obvious morning wood.

I'm sigging that :haha

Yeah,I always get 'em in school.Strangely,mostly in math,Band,and Italian.Math I guess cause the teacher's hot(Like,put a marshmellow over her head and watch it roast hot.) Band maybe cause I sit near this really hot chick with a big ass:]
Iunno about Italian though,strange.

angus_young01
01-16-2006, 03:07 PM
Hmmm, morning glory is a bad thing. lol.

I went to spain on a trip, and of course, theres some messing around, and this girl slept with us (slept, not shagged) and (ooh, and by "us" I meen me) yeh, and so when I woke up, she did around the same time, and it was very hard to conceal :(

Wookiedude
01-16-2006, 03:12 PM
A couple of weeks ago this one kid i know somehow got hold of a viagra pill. He cut it in half, crushed it, and put it in the drink of one of my friends at lunch. My friend said he had a boner for 30 minutes in the next class.

Red.Washburn77
01-16-2006, 03:14 PM
sigged

That's what I was going to do! :(

freewheelinbird
01-17-2006, 02:35 PM
this thread is dying

save it

jajp001
01-17-2006, 02:59 PM
Well, it was a french lesson and i was bored so i let my mind wander.
"And James, can you please write that on the board?" James = me
"Yeah." I managed to hide the trouser bulge with the hole in my jumper. Whoops.

surferdude
01-17-2006, 03:01 PM
bus rides r bad. thts all i'm saying

erections at bad times thread: the funeral story....lets just say the corpse wasnt the only stiff thing in the room

PT 2 DOOR RULE
01-17-2006, 03:28 PM
Originally posted by surferdude
erections at bad times thread: the funeral story....lets just say the corpse wasnt the only stiff thing in the room
^lol, that was a good one. Jeez, why is it always in maths?
btw, who said the phrase in your sig? Tis wise lol

pigger
01-17-2006, 03:51 PM
dentists chair

Oh man that has happened to me to :eek:

bertskarzi196
01-17-2006, 09:05 PM
WOW! at a funeral?!! is that even possible?!
well mine has to be when I was fooling around with my first g/f and I was ontop of her and she was squirming and moving her legs because my hard-on was digging into her thigh. that was an awkward situation

ihatepigum
01-17-2006, 09:24 PM
what is this about you people getting erections in math class? You must be the third or fourth person to mention it in this thread already...

What is so damn attractive about math

my math prof, one time after explain a quite difficult concept and using it to solve a problem started jumping around yelling "this is so amazing, i'm tingling". he was obviously sexually excited.
my best friend then used our sign for "keep it in your pants", to which the professor replied "peter! are you tingling too?!?!".
it was one of the scariest, most awkward experiences in my entire life.

eckmann88
01-17-2006, 09:59 PM
The thing with math can be best explained by something this one girl who sits next to me in art class said:

'me+you+bed-clothes divide legs and hope to multiply'

saxaxe
01-17-2006, 10:06 PM
well, in my math class, I never pay attention, so I day dream....alot....

Invader Jim
01-17-2006, 10:11 PM
Bullshit.^

My friends went to see Romeo And Juliet and the at the end the guy playing Romeo had a hard-on, and since they were in tights and stuff it was fairly noticeable. He was lying down pretending to be dead since it was the end, and when everyone was clapping my friend yelled out "BONER!" to which Romeo's corpse responded by going bright red. :haha
:haha :haha :haha :haha :haha :haha :cheers:

boardsofcanada
01-17-2006, 10:22 PM
i find it seems to be in classes where there ARENT hot chicks. cause theres nothing ELSE to think about.

the worst though, are the half-woods+pajamas.

i wear pajamas all the time.

its easier to hide a full on boner, cause all you have to do is fold it up nice.

HomerHitter
01-17-2006, 10:40 PM
I really wish I didn't have to bring up this moment...but it's for the good of UG


I was in the lunch line last year. It was a chilly Tuesday afternoon. All I wanted was to buy a slice of cheese pizza. Is that so much to ask? All of a sudden, I got a random stiffy, and like a man, I stuck that thing up in my waste band. It was sticking out of my shirt a little below my belly button (not out of the shirt, it was making an imprint). So I went up to the cashier and she accused me of stealing something. I told her I wasn't and she kept insisting that I had a bag of chips under my shirt. All of a sudden she lifts up my shirt and sees half of my hard **** sticking out. Good lord that was embarassing :(

boardsofcanada
01-17-2006, 10:41 PM
I really wish I didn't have to bring up this moment...but it's for the good of UG


I was in the lunch line last year. It was a chilly Tuesday afternoon. All I wanted was to buy a slice of cheese pizza. Is that so much to ask? All of a sudden, I got a random stiffy, and like a man, I stuck that thing up in my waste band. It was sticking out of my shirt a little below my belly button (not out of the shirt, it was making an imprint). So I went up to the cashier and she accused me of stealing something. I told her I wasn't and she kept insisting that I had a bag of chips under my shirt. All of a sudden she lifts up my shirt and sees half of my hard **** sticking out. Good lord that was embarassing :(

:haha:haha

you should brag about that not be embarassed.

:haha

Somarriba15
01-17-2006, 10:49 PM
As much as u hate boner u love them

Once in swimming class i hade a semi-hot swim teacher. For 2 weeks my only goal in my swimminh classs was to hide my boner, i had to wear like 2 pairs of shorts and some tighy whiteys

Its the worst when guys notice ur stiffy

) )llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllD

Homer Gibson
01-17-2006, 10:50 PM
im starting to think maybe stiffys are the reason for slacking off...think about it, when you get one you try hard to concentrate on something else to make it go down then you end up not listening to the teacher at all and get lost

haha i can just imagine it on the news:
"WE HAVE FOUND THE CAUSE OF KIDS SLACKING OFF IN CLASS....................BONERS"

Funkbass796
01-17-2006, 10:53 PM
^ummmm.....didn't you post that earlier in the thread?

boardsofcanada
01-17-2006, 10:55 PM
actually if channeled into work, it can be some of the only times you franticly try to think about other things.

suddenly quadratics are pretty hot..i mean..****.

wylde_overdrive
01-17-2006, 11:06 PM
I ALWAYS get a stiffy in math. ALWAYS. Damn you sexy math class.

one time I was swimming in a public pool and there were some hot girls there. They were all wet and what-not. I had to stay underwater for almost a minute, hoping to god it would go the hell away. almost drowned, lol.

Kartman
01-17-2006, 11:07 PM
@ School.

Cirrus Minor
01-17-2006, 11:10 PM
suddenly quadratics are pretty hot..i mean..****.
:haha

boardsofcanada
01-17-2006, 11:10 PM
almost anything involving chicks and water is bad juju.

it doesnt matter if you have a quarter-wood or a full wood, it still looks like wood when you come out.

tomj_bassfreak
01-17-2006, 11:26 PM
dentists chair
omg did u really get 1 in a dentisi chair?
all the dentists ive ever had are ugly lol :sexsmile:

ForbiddenDonut
01-17-2006, 11:43 PM
So basically its the first day of my 5th grade class and me and my friends are wondering what my new teacher will look like. All the sudden she pops into the room and dances around in a blue bikini. Major hard-on. Strangely enough, I could hear Van Halen playing in the background.

But seriously, last Nov, I'm at this church retreat with only about 6 other kids. 3 guys sleeping in one room, 3 girls in another. Morning comes and I'm sleeping on my stomach with major morning wood. The girls come over to wake us up and this beautiful one comes and sits down on my ass, telling me to wake up. Needless to say it took me a long time. The evil part of me wanted to rotate 180 :devil:

Then the same day, same girl, I'm givin her a back massage, and I'm straddling her ass, all the while trying to repress the biggest bone ever by using the Margaret Thatcher trick. :eek:

Goddammit and she has a boyfriend too.

jewishosama
01-18-2006, 12:20 AM
embarrasing erections? everyday occurance man.

boardsofcanada
01-18-2006, 12:34 AM
So basically its the first day of my 5th grade class and me and my friends are wondering what my new teacher will look like. All the sudden she pops into the room and dances around in a blue bikini. Major hard-on. Strangely enough, I could hear Van Halen playing in the background.

HAH

that would be kinda hot.

a hot ass teacher busting in in a bikini, dancing to van halen??

kick ASS.

dont care what anyone says. hot ass is hot ass.

Morning comes and I'm sleeping on my stomach with major morning wood. The girls come over to wake us up and this beautiful one comes and sits down on my ass, telling me to wake up. Needless to say it took me a long time. The evil part of me wanted to rotate 180 :devil:

:cheers: dude, yes. thats happened to me before plenty of times heh.

boardsofcanada
01-18-2006, 12:37 AM
okay so i just remembered an embarassing one.

im in the living room with friends at a friends house.

me, his mom, him, 2 hot chicks and one of their boyfriends.

i could feel a boner come on so im like.

..****. so i think to go to the bedroom down the hall to escape, and also check me emails.

im on the far side of the room. and i underestimated the boner. and i was in pj's.

mm.

and as far as teachers, there arent any good looking ones at all. with the exception of 2 mediocre ones. damn.

SandmaN211
01-18-2006, 12:59 AM
i reckon 30% of the stuff here are bs
who cares if u get an erection in public, if a guy notices it tell him he is gay and if a girl does appreciate it

iwishiwasafish
01-18-2006, 05:06 AM
I was staying at my friends place, and in the morning his fairly hot younger sister (who i've been told has a thing for me) comes in and jumps on me too tell us breakfast is ready and almost sits on my morning wood. She's like "Breakfast is ready.....oh.....umm...er I'll see you in a minute then".

apc--ibanez
01-18-2006, 05:25 AM
actually if channeled into work, it can be some of the only times you franticly try to think about other things.

suddenly quadratics are pretty hot..i mean..****.

hahahahahhahahaha

headbanger4life
01-18-2006, 07:01 AM
i have these jeans that get stuck under my belt when i sit down.. so when I stand up it looks like I have a massive erection. It pisses me off, I have to push my belt buckle down everytime I stand up
lol dude that happens to me all the time!

Ratatoskr
01-18-2006, 07:12 AM
I was staying at my friends place, and in the morning his fairly hot younger sister (who i've been told has a thing for me) comes in and jumps on me too tell us breakfast is ready and almost sits on my morning wood. She's like "Breakfast is ready.....oh.....umm...er I'll see you in a minute then".
:haha hilarious!!!

RMC06
01-18-2006, 10:22 AM
I always get boners but i start thinking about math to get it down.

no_username
01-18-2006, 10:53 AM
^ thats a lie and you know it. math is the cause of boners, something that causes boners wont make them go away.

smile_man
01-18-2006, 11:07 AM
I had one right before recess and it wouldn't go away and everybody got up to leave and they kept telling me to go... it was embarrasing.

SudzGitplaya
01-18-2006, 11:28 AM
Had sex with my best friend about 3 times this one night at a party (shes a chick dont worry) and so it took the whole night, well we both get up to leave the room we were in cuz we heard other people were getting up and bam! it was there still. Now, this might not seem to embarassing but my best friend is the "cute girl in highschool that you never thought you'd get head from cuz she goes to church"... yea, well not so embarssing for me, but she had a fun time explaining it to people for the next week hahahahaha

O and btw...everyone knew what had happened because im the kinda guy that would bang a screen door if it told me it would give me head lol

Sadistic sponge
01-18-2006, 03:00 PM
The worst time/place for a boner is the doctors office, after the hot nurse gets you started up for the doctor to fondle your balls.
Personally, i get it all the time in math class for various reasons. This year its because my teacher, who has a nice ass, nice tits, not so nice face, always wears tight clothes. The problem of this is that she ALWAYS has a massive camel toe and you cant help but notice it. I've asked other guys in that class and i've discovered that pretty much every guy in the class is sitting there trying to will away a boner half the time.

HomerHitter
01-18-2006, 03:29 PM
Had sex with my best friend about 3 times this one night at a party (shes a chick dont worry) and so it took the whole night, well we both get up to leave the room we were in cuz we heard other people were getting up and bam! it was there still. Now, this might not seem to embarassing but my best friend is the "cute girl in highschool that you never thought you'd get head from cuz she goes to church"... yea, well not so embarssing for me, but she had a fun time explaining it to people for the next week hahahahaha

O and btw...everyone knew what had happened because im the kinda guy that would bang a screen door if it told me it would give me head lol

Shut the hell up. I heard a bear-trap say it would give you head. Give it a go.

THC
01-18-2006, 03:37 PM
its probabaly happen to me beffore but just cant remember. When i get a boner i just get a big outline in my pants it doesnt go straigh out, unless its like pjs or sweats, or boxers, or naked lol

Mr. President
01-18-2006, 03:38 PM
i suppose being at a dentist office could be pretty bad, your lying flat on your back, with all the hygenists crowding around you, and theirs nothing you can do about it.

bben
01-18-2006, 04:14 PM
In high school I would always sit through the whole class trying real hard to think about the material or guitars or just anything to keep my penis distracted, and then I would look at the clock and see that we had 2 minutes left and WHAM! Boner. I didn't even have to look at the clock, either. There's like a timer that it operates on. It knows when it's the most socially crippling time. Most of the time I wasn't even thinking about anything sexual or anything, it just felt like getting hard for no reason.

Then there was this one time that a really awesome and beautiful girl that I used to know was going to move away, and her and I had become pretty good friends so we were talking about how much we would miss each other and stuff (I don't think she knew I had a crush on her the whole time). Anyways, she starts crying and I'm feeling pretty crappy because she's moving away and all, and so she wants to hug. It was pretty smooth sailing until about 40 seconds in, and then I just couldn't control him anymore. I don't think she noticed though, fortunately. I wasn't even thinking dirty thoughts either.

KristinLeanne21
01-18-2006, 04:15 PM
Last night at a party, we were playing Truth or Dare (childish, I know) and my friend was leaning against this girl he's dated twice (and both times never got any farther than 2 kisses at a dance that lasted about 5 seconds each) and he dared her to give him a head massage. We proceeded to point out his miniature erection that he had whilst making the dare and we all had a good laugh over it. He denied having one, but seeing as how he kept his crotchal area covered with blankets/pillows for the next couple of minutes, it was obvious he had one.

Basically, this thread is for telling your fellow UG'ers about some embarassing erection moments.



yeah I'm this girl!! yeah it was really funny though:wtf:

bben
01-18-2006, 04:20 PM
What is the Margaret Thatcher trick? I saw it referenced earlier in this thread.

CoKane311
01-18-2006, 04:36 PM
^i think the margaret thatcher trick is actually thinking about margaret thatcher.

the only incident i can think of is when i was in spanish one time and one just popped up right before i got called on to read something in front of class. i had to suppress it with the traumatizing thought of seeing my grandmother naked when i was about 7.

chase09
01-18-2006, 04:43 PM
^i think the margaret thatcher trick is actually thinking about margaret thatcher.

the only incident i can think of is when i was in spanish one time and one just popped up right before i got called on to read something in front of class. i had to suppress it with the traumatizing thought of seeing my grandmother naked when i was about 7.

ouch, i feel bad for you man. naked grannies > you

{STK}killavirus
01-18-2006, 04:56 PM
man some of you kids just cant control your man hood apparently

flyingjew34
01-18-2006, 04:58 PM
having to stand up in class when you are massively bulging from a week of neglect. doesnt happen too often, but everyone has that moment.

Alex S.
01-18-2006, 05:16 PM
^ I call bullshit on you.

Indeed. I doubt that actually happened.

To stay on topic. I also get them in math for some damn reason. I guess its because its the period I zone out in. Where I gather up all of my strange and disturbing thoughts. :p:

KristinLeanne21
01-18-2006, 05:20 PM
It seems like the majority of guys have boners in Math class. I don' think I'll ever look at the subject the same again. I'll have to keep that in mind! :rolleyes:
__________________________________________

:kissass:

dark lightning
01-18-2006, 05:31 PM
Well in woodworking(not math class!) there was a hot girl sawing a piece of wood with a very tight shirt on and her tit poped out of her shirt and she never noticed and she was going back and forth with the saw cutting the wood(not a penis), she noticed it out of her shirt when she was done cutting the wood(not a penis) i had some boner that class, one of my classmates saw it lol. i had to go to washroom and wait until it was gone. b caz of that i was called boner boy and frictionator, i have very GAY classmates lol

freewheelinbird
01-18-2006, 05:55 PM
Well in woodworking(not math class!) there was a hot girl sawing a piece of wood with a very tight shirt on and her tit poped out of her shirt and she never noticed and she was going back and forth with the saw cutting the wood(not a penis), she noticed it out of her shirt when she was done cutting the wood(not a penis) i had some boner that class, one of my classmates saw it lol. i had to go to washroom and wait until it was gone. b caz of that i was called boner boy and frictionator, i have very GAY classmates lol

dude....was she wearing a bra?????

big_g_r
01-18-2006, 05:59 PM
My gf was stiitin on my knee and i had 1 but i was wearing baggy shorts n that was all u could see when i stood up so i had 2 sit there 4 about 20 mins tryin not 2 think about it

dark lightning
01-18-2006, 06:02 PM
dude....was she wearing a bra?????

i dont think so

freewheelinbird
01-18-2006, 06:18 PM
i dont think so

wow

what do you mean "i dont think so" either you saw a big patch of skin and a nippe, or you saw a bra

dark lightning
01-18-2006, 06:22 PM
i saw a big patch of skin and a nipple, but it is possiple the bra was like sticking to the shirt where it was so tight, veery hard(not penis hard) to explain, u understand?

mw7
01-18-2006, 06:37 PM
there is actually a kid in my math class last year that cut a hole in his pocket and jacked off....smart kid i might add :)

:haha

JMack
01-18-2006, 07:00 PM
i call bs on this entire thread. i didnt get my first erection until i was 17, and i know for a fact that half of the posters on UG are under 15.

darksteel890
01-18-2006, 07:02 PM
^holy **** are you serious, i was mackin hoes at 14!!!!

Sigged!!

dark lightning
01-18-2006, 07:05 PM
lol 12 for i for god sacks

jklsadj;sadjfak
01-18-2006, 07:21 PM
i run cross country. enough said.

t2russo
01-18-2006, 07:21 PM
most embarrassing boner... yea, well i get really really REALLY hard, and thus can actually stretch a pair of jeans... not fun... but let me put this event into an equation:
Uber Boner
+ hot girl which i'd like to plow
- pants not strong enough to contain previously mentioned boner
+ girl running up for hug
= boner jousting

bjovi400
01-18-2006, 07:34 PM
If you get them in class, and if you have a male teacher, and he calls you up in class, just whisper it to him. its better to be embarassed for one teacher than the whole school.

Funkbass796
01-18-2006, 07:47 PM
i saw a big patch of skin and a nipple, but it is possiple the bra was like sticking to the shirt where it was so tight, veery hard(not penis hard) to explain, u understand?

I've never known titties to pop out of tight shirts, loose shirts on the other hand, that always happens.

I call BS.

{STK}killavirus
01-18-2006, 07:52 PM
lmao 17 ..... you sir must have a very small boner

ghost_blues
01-18-2006, 08:00 PM
i call bs on this entire thread. i didnt get my first erection until i was 17, and i know for a fact that half of the posters on UG are under 15.

lolzer :D

i was whacking off when i was 12 :haha

u must have a small dickey :p:

tyson0525
01-18-2006, 08:02 PM
i call bs on this entire thread. i didnt get my first erection until i was 17, and i know for a fact that half of the posters on UG are under 15.

you should probably have gotten that checked

Beckerism
01-18-2006, 08:13 PM
you should probably have gotten that checked

Yah, no kidding. :eek:

mw7
01-18-2006, 08:18 PM
whoa jmack, thats not normal

MartiniKiss7
01-18-2006, 08:22 PM
I usually get one around my girlfriend, but sometimes it's around other people.

whalepudding
01-18-2006, 08:34 PM
i call bs on this entire thread. i didnt get my first erection until i was 17, and i know for a fact that half of the posters on UG are under 15.

That really, really isnt normal.

The normal age to get your first erection 7-10.

Skar
01-18-2006, 08:57 PM
First boner at 17? I call bull**** on that.

So anyways....

As I had most strategically placed myself hidden from the teachers view, I proceded to relieving myself of most unwanted stress. A vague and sensual discourse had crossed my mind, and the world was at a stand still...or so I thought. At the moment of climax, the teacher had been struck with the prospect of checking on one of his disappearing students. As his head appeared over the horizon, the satisfaction was achieved not a moment too soon, and the burning pleasure ripped through the skies, only to land on a most aghastly soul. The arrival of this strange fluid had scarred the recipient eternally, leaving torn flesh and singed carapace.

Haha sorry, I couldn't help myself. Anyways, on a more serious note, I have never had an embarrasing arousement, or at least never known of one that I wielded publicly. Thankfully.

I can keep myself under control with adept-like abilities. Also, I don't really get full hard-ons in class anyways. I realize it before it can do any social damage and i'm fine.

davidp313
01-18-2006, 09:05 PM
HAH
a hot ass teacher busting in in a bikini, dancing to van halen??

kick ASS.


Sigging. Thanks for the entertainment of this whole thread guys :D

ChimyChonga Man
01-18-2006, 09:10 PM
This didn't happen to me, but the 3 kids in each grade with the best speeches got to present in front of the school, and this one went went up, and while he was talking he got wood, and it was in front of the teachers and all the parents and everything. The sad thing is the poor shlub was talking about the right to gay marriage. :confused:

boardsofcanada
01-18-2006, 09:15 PM
thats a lie and you know it. math is the cause of boners


sigged.

harrypito
01-18-2006, 09:20 PM
OK. True story. In 8th grade I had to present my science project to the class. I went up to present after I came back from the crapper. Stupid me forgot to zip my pants and i was commando that day. Somebody woke up(hint hint to you stupid ppl) and paid a visit...

ForbiddenDonut
01-18-2006, 10:43 PM
That really, really isnt normal.

The normal age to get your first erection 7-10.

Come to think of it, my first embarassing erection was when I was about 8 years old looking through Playboys with my friend that belonged to his dad. I didn't know how to controll em back then and he pointed and laughed while I fervently tried to conceal it with my hands. I was wearing sweatpants at the time.

Math never gives me boners anymore. I think its because it's after lunch and all my blood is concentrating on digestion.

freewheelinbird
01-18-2006, 10:47 PM
OK. True story. In 8th grade I had to present my science project to the class. I went up to present after I came back from the crapper. Stupid me forgot to zip my pants and i was commando that day. Somebody woke up(hint hint to you stupid ppl) and paid a visit...

i dont believe it

but

:haha

HomerHitter
01-18-2006, 11:13 PM
17?! CHRIST ALMIGHTY! What did you do when a girl tried to get in your pants?!

*after heavy make-out session at age 15*
"Ooooh Jmack, I just want to please you, ooh yeahhh"
*begins to unzipp Jmacks fly, Jmack begans to shake nervously*
"Oooooh these pants are hard to take of--wtf is that :confused:"

flyingjew34
01-18-2006, 11:19 PM
i started round 5th grade, so that's bout 11 for me

THC
01-19-2006, 07:06 AM
yeah i started whopping the good stick at 11.

surferdude
01-19-2006, 10:27 AM
17?! CHRIST ALMIGHTY! What did you do when a girl tried to get in your pants?!

*after heavy make-out session at age 15*
"Ooooh Jmack, I just want to please you, ooh yeahhh"
*begins to unzipp Jmacks fly, Jmack begans to shake nervously*
"Oooooh these pants are hard to take of--wtf is that :confused:"


hahahahahaha:haha

slash_rocks
01-19-2006, 10:34 AM
i go 2 an all boys skl so i neva get a cahnce i skl.

wen we meet with da gals we all walkin up 2 dem pointin in da rite direction!!

bastards!!!

dstrbd24
01-19-2006, 11:08 AM
Hahahaha

Hong Siah
01-19-2006, 11:33 AM
The worse time I had a boner was not an embarassing one. It was before my friend (male) slapped my crotch for pinching his nipple. Rather painful. Yes we play weird games...

Wannabehippie
01-19-2006, 12:54 PM
I can control my meatstick.

Its obvious you boys are either very horny or haven't reached manhood.

But back in the day i had a few close calls.

Jmack. *sigh*

And last but not least this thread is VERY ammusing.

WeeGie
01-19-2006, 01:01 PM
in english class :( spontanious erections suck

TheDarkestNights
01-19-2006, 01:19 PM
The worst time/place for a boner is the doctors office, after the hot nurse gets you started up for the doctor to fondle your balls.
Personally, i get it all the time in math class for various reasons. This year its because my teacher, who has a nice ass, nice tits, not so nice face, always wears tight clothes. The problem of this is that she ALWAYS has a massive camel toe and you cant help but notice it. I've asked other guys in that class and i've discovered that pretty much every guy in the class is sitting there trying to will away a boner half the time.

and a camel toe is?


anyway, today i was sitting behind this fit girl who was dancing for a school play, and she stuck her ass back, and i got a hard-on, and she looked round, and said "do you mind?", and i looked down and it was rlly obvious

the_cheat22
01-19-2006, 01:21 PM
and a camel toe is?

:haha

Wannabehippie
01-19-2006, 01:36 PM
and a camel toe is?


Google it ;)

TheDarkestNights
01-19-2006, 01:41 PM
Google it ;)


i get it now...

burningcowsrule
01-19-2006, 02:35 PM
i call bs on this entire thread. i didnt get my first erection until i was 17

dude....

eldanny
01-19-2006, 03:15 PM
i have loads of storys.... of me and my freinds
when i got my 1st bonner i was real young (this is not B.S.) i came down the stairs we had my aunt nan and great nan rond and i said "mummy my willy is sticking up is it spossed to do that"

and my freind got caught tossin off in maths (aontha maths story)...... ther he was at the back of the room leain against the wall and someone pull his chair back he fell back and when the sub techer came to see whats going on hed foggoten hes hands wer down his pants :haha:

and if YOU find youself with an embrassing bonner do these 3 things.....

1.pull your shirt over it(presuming you have 1 on)
2.hold it back by putting your hands in your pocket and well... you get it(presuming you have pockets
3.think of n ugly girl naked..... i know its damn hard and i get side tracked by thinking of a realy fit girl i like(presuming you can actully think) :D

AWA
01-19-2006, 03:21 PM
I had an erection once at graduation :sad:

Wannabehippie
01-19-2006, 03:21 PM
3.think of n ugly girl naked..... i know its damn hard and i get side tracked by thinking of a realy fit girl i like(presuming you can actully think) :D

Even better, think of your best friend in Y-fronts. Although some people might get turned on by that thought.....

Austin1313
01-19-2006, 03:24 PM
I Had An Eerection Once It Waz Incredible It Was Like There And I Was So Exited And Then It Was Gone, The Life Story Of All The Homos And Retards That Like Talking Bout THERE erections U Queers

no_username
01-19-2006, 03:30 PM
^wow, i like hotpunksk8rgirl more than i like you.

EDIT:v hmm well then, ill judge if i like him more than hotpunksk8rgirl when i see more of his posts.


He still seems like an asshat.

AWA
01-19-2006, 03:34 PM
^Well, hes just a noob. Hes actually one of my friends, and this is his first post

Blood_Covered
01-19-2006, 03:34 PM
yeah i started whopping the good stick at 11.


hahahahha "whopping the good stick"

thats FREAKIN hilarious. keep it up bro.

as for me, I got one story that comes to mind.

It was a sunny day, perfect for jogging at p.e. class. At that retarded school (this was like 5 years ago) we had to tuck in our p.e. shirts (its retarded i know) into our p.e. shorts. well, we were taking roll, and i got this hardon the size of the Statue of Liberty, and in these blue gym shorts, its more obvious than green days gayness. So, Im pitching this RAGING tent in my shorts, and the teacher comes up to me for roll and she looks at me and says "tuck in that shirt Diaz" (Diaz is my last name) and I give her this crazy look (like the kind of look youd expect to see on someones face when you tell them you have a gun and your going to take their virginity) and of course i dont tuck in my shirt, i mean this thing will EAT HER if i dare unleash it. She says it again "TUCK IN THAT SHIRT DIAZ, IM NOT JOKING" so what do I do? I figure, she's askin for it, so to make a long story short,

She saw my boner.

chase09
01-19-2006, 04:50 PM
She saw my boner.

are you saying you ****ed her?

Wannabehippie
01-19-2006, 04:58 PM
I feel sorry for this kid, but why not.

Once when i was sitting in English, minding my own business and intently listening to my tutor. I noticed to boy next to me was shuffling quite a bit. I said:

''Hear Hear! Are you ok old bean?''
To which responded
''Uh, yeah thanks''

So anyway i continue in my educational pursuits, but it starts to annoy me. I decide to ask him again, i look over, the kid is stretching his arms out and right and where his flacid penis is meant to be, is a tepee.

Needless to say, he managed to get an A in his english exam, because he never talked to me again in English lessons :haha.

Blood_Covered
01-19-2006, 05:23 PM
are you saying you ****ed her?

no heck no (she was ugly and old), she saw my boner when i pulled my shirt up to start tucking it in.

bassmaniac101
01-19-2006, 05:40 PM
My most embarassing and most painfull were at the same time. It was the first base ball game of the season and my cup was about a size to small. I wouldnt have worn it, but my coach does a cup check before every game( hits us in the nuts with a bat) and if we dont show up the first game without an excuse then we are off the team. Well, the whole girls softball team, which are some of the hottest girls in school stop by and watch us play. I managed to keep it in control for about half the game, but i just couldnt stop it. Unfortunetly, the guy on second saw me trying to pull my cup out and pointed it out.


I got a new cup as soon as the game ended.

wylde_overdrive
01-19-2006, 05:56 PM
my coach does a cup check before every game( hits us in the nuts with a bat)

:haha