Dealing with Singer/My Ego


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Dutch_Apples
04-12-2006, 01:23 PM
The Singer of my band and I have never really seen eye-to-eye on musical style, but for the past few weeks he has been very rude to me and insensitive. Everytime we try to write a new song, he hates my lyrics and I will disapprove of his sense they lack detail and are usually very vague. He will also take songs written over 2 years ago and recycle ones we used in previous incarnations of the band. I have a huge problem with this since I feel it shows lack of creativity and innovation. Whenever I show him different lyrics he usually states that I'm not the one who has to sing it or he "doesn't care what I think."

There was also a situation at last practice in which I stated we should practice covers (which the band agreed to do although the singer disagrees) and his response was "all you do in this band is play keyboards, you don't control it" Which was a load of bull since I have booked 90 percent of gigs, recorded the demo, pretty much take management duties, while all he does is sing and drive to gigs since he has the largest vechile.

While argueing he basically says "I don't care" or that anything I do songwriting wise will make the band worse...while I'm the one with the most musical training, experience, etc. His main purpose for being disgruntled is the fact that I am under contract to have more control in the band (Long story.)

I got fed up last night and asked him "Do you still want me to be in this band? Because it sounded like you don't!" His only responce was "I didn't say that." It's obvious now that him and I do not get along. And I am really not happy with any musical "innovations" he comes up with when it comes to style.

The other band members usually have the mentality that they "just want everyone to be happy." Many of them lack any type of negotiation skills and usually state "I don't care" also. I haven't brought this up with other members because of this. Although, many people outside of the band have stated that they don't think the singer's voice fits our style of music. If you don't believe me, check out the link in my signature.

The singer can probably not be fired because of the other member's mentality. He is considered the "founder" of the band and our two top songs have lyrics written by him (although these are the only 2 good song lyrics by him.)

I will not quit because we are about to have this demo come out. My keyboard parts are crucial in some of our songs and it's obvious that in our area, I can not be easily replaced. I have the personality in which I need control in a band and have the mentality that there is a wrong and right way to run a band. I have a really good feeling that if I leave, the band will collapse within months. This happened with the last band I was in with the singer & one of the guitarists.

What should I do? the Singer is hard to negotiate with because he will say "I don't care" one night, and the next night say "No one every listens to me." If it ever came to either him or I leaving, I really don't know who would go.

Any advice?

thekevinfoltmer
04-12-2006, 01:31 PM
tell your bitch ass singer if he doesn't like your lyrics tell his broke ass to make them himself then once he does make some nice lyrics tell him hes out of the band.

Zamboni
04-12-2006, 01:38 PM
Drop him like a ton of bricks. He sounds like a prick, and singers are a dime a dozen.

ac/guns n zep
04-12-2006, 01:43 PM
If hes standing in the way of other peoples ideas and stopping the band from progressing then you should get rid of him. To quote EVH it sounds like he suffers from LSD(lead singers disease). And btw i listened to your songs, they were pretty good, but your singer, at least in my opinion, doesnt really have a good voice, so yet another reason to get rid of him.

~SouthWillRise~
04-12-2006, 01:45 PM
I've had similar problems with the singer in my band, and you really need to have good band chemistry to get anywhere. Without that, your band is probably going nowhere. You need to have a serious talk with this guy and see if you can get things cleared up. On top of that, how is playing music halfway enjoyable if its a guy you hate? If it were me, I'd fire his ass on the spot and tell him to die. Next, take his mic and tear it in half. After that I'd hunt down his family and kill them one by one. Next, I'd kill his dog and if he doesn't have one I'd kill his cat

Zamboni
04-12-2006, 01:48 PM
I've had similar problems with the singer in my band, and you really need to have good band chemistry to get anywhere. Without that, your band is probably going nowhere. You need to have a serious talk with this guy and see if you can get things cleared up. On top of that, how is playing music halfway enjoyable if its a guy you hate?
:golfclap:

If it were me, I'd fire his ass on the spot and tell him to die. Next, take his mic and tear it in half. After that I'd hunt down his family and kill them one by one. Next, I'd kill his dog and if he doesn't have one I'd kill his cat
... :confused:

.bfmv.
04-12-2006, 01:53 PM
I've been on your myspace and i don't actually think he can sing too well, if anyone should leave the band it should be him. If he 'doesn't care' what you think try to get the rest of the band to back you up.

z4twenny
04-12-2006, 02:11 PM
yup, drop his punk ass...... its one thing to be a badass singer and be a LITTLE cocky about it, its another to be ****ty and think yer tha' bomb so to speak..... kick his punk ass out and find someone thats openminded, creative, can work well with others & with whom you can inspire and be inspired by......

Pure_Morning
04-15-2006, 05:42 PM
I've been on your myspace and i don't actually think he can sing too well, if anyone should leave the band it should be him. If he 'doesn't care' what you think try to get the rest of the band to back you up.

Agreed, all your lead and backing vocals are a bit shoddy. I'd just sit him down and talk to him and tell him that if he keeps being an ass you'll kick him out.

By the way, what keyboards/laptops/gear do you use?

PaperStSoapCo
04-15-2006, 10:30 PM
well, i believe in the idea of democracy... talk to each of the other band members one at time and be casual. in the middle of the conversation just be smooth and say, "yeah so that singer is a real prick, right?" and you rally everyone against this guy and have an intervention. get everyone together to tell the guy to chill out and stop being such a little girl. he can either listen and work for the good of the band or cry and say "your all against me!" and run out of the room weeping like a little 3 year old with a skinned knee... then you can all vote on it and kick his girl-ass out.

STPGuitar311
04-17-2006, 10:47 PM
You guys sound good, but your singer is horrible. Get rid of him.

FadingRoots
04-18-2006, 12:55 AM
Yeah, y'all are pretty good... until the vocals come in.

Drop him, big time.

SilentDeftone
04-18-2006, 01:18 AM
I only listened to part of the first song on the site, but your singer has a thin nasal little voice and has quite a few pitch problems. I'd drop him ASAP.

-SD :dance:

Dutch_Apples
04-18-2006, 01:27 AM
Update!:

Well, I took the advice a lot of you gave and talked to each member individually about kicking him out. They all agreed that he has had a piss poor attitude lately and that's it's obvious we don't get along, however some members had some other problems as well (no one's fault, just that we are in a slump.) When I talked to the singer, I told him "I don't think I want to be in a band with you anymore" his responce was "So you want me to quit?" me- "We'll talk about that in the band meeting."

During the band meeting, I made it clear that I don't want to work with him on a pro level and the singer somehow promised to start "acting better" and he's been in a bad mood the last few weeks. I didn't see how that explained his voice. He also complained that the reason he didn't take voice lessons is because of money... whatever happened to investing in your career. Here's what happened in short.

I was out-numbered in votes to get rid of him. And you guys will be shocked at the reason.

The reason was "THE OTHER BAND MEMBERS LIKE HIS VOICE!"

I was shocked, they said it's "unique." I told them we lost a lot of fans because of it and one of the guitarists stated "Then they'll just have to leave.. a lot of people don't like just the singer of a band." My responce to that was "But everytime I hear something negative about the sound of this band... it's ALWAYS the vocals".. he had no responce to that. I'm just going to see what happens as time goes on. Our demo comes out next week so I'm going see how that goes.

SilentDeftone
04-18-2006, 01:58 AM
It's unique because other bands have the sense to not have a singer like that. Honestly, can they not hear that he's off pitch?

-SD :dance:

NotAJock2Day
04-18-2006, 09:44 AM
I have the personality in which I need control in a band and have the mentality that there is a wrong and right way to run a band. I have a really good feeling that if I leave, the band will collapse within months.

The lead singer probably feels that way about himself too. There's a power struggle but he won. It's hard having two head strong people in the same band, heh.

As far as actual advice, well... I would have advised against directly holding a poll of who wants him out. Your friends probably didn't have time for logic to really sink into their choice when you gave them decent reasons. On the spot, it's always simpler for people to choose what will make the bigger dog happy, and the singer is the bigger dog. Compromise somehow... say listen to the songs and take away the keyboard. Are they half as good?

Dutch_Apples
04-18-2006, 02:25 PM
I'm going to bring it up again in the future. The singer isn't above me, its just the members have a hard time firiing anyone. The keyboards are an essential part of our original sound.

quinny1089
04-18-2006, 03:34 PM
i cant listen to the music coz the myspace player hasnt ever worked for me...but...

if you want to convince other ppl in the band of how bad of a singer he is lead then to this thread...its pretty obvious from all the posts that he is a bad singer.

joshsirjoshules
04-18-2006, 08:51 PM
Well, try to be more open to his ideas in the future, and in turn, he will be to yours. Well that's how it should work, but it didn't for me. But you can at least try. He doesn't have that great of a voice, I'd definitely fire his ass, but majority rules, democracy, up the workers and all that stuff. But that philosophy can also help to see if the rest of the band likes it and if most of them like it, play it. That's a damn good way to do it right there.

Oh and SilentDeftone has it spot on.

skaithe
04-18-2006, 09:02 PM
I completely agree with SilentDeftone. He is a unique singer, but not in a good way. If you heard him in a gig you'd probably say "Hey, he sounds really different". But then you'd probably leave... Perhaps ask the others to try to justify their opinions/votes. This should sort out who really thinks he should stay and who is just choosing 'no change' as a default.

From the sounds of it, the other members are choosing not to kick him out just 'cause they are adverse to change.

VoodooChild15
04-18-2006, 09:39 PM
I think you're being a touch pretentious saying that you have a "huge problem" with recycling old stuff. If you can make something good out of old things you had laying around, why not? Nothing's stopping you from doing creative things as well.

rathmusbass
04-19-2006, 01:22 AM
long story short - my first band died because of our singer who wrote sh*t lyrics and pulled the same thing. she said that abss was not needed and the only time a bass should be heard is if the entire crowd said in unision * pump up the bass *. after that the band lost the ebst bassist they ever had ( without having to pay someone to play for them ) and lost the best drummer they ever had ( and only one who could actually double bass and play more than just standard beats ).

drop the punk arsed signer, he cant sing well, he sucks. i loved the keyboards and everything else, his voice sucked. i can sing better and i suck.

drop him or i will eat your keyboard.

edit: show them this thread!

Rattlehead.90
04-20-2006, 09:23 PM
I heard your music and the vocals are terrible - dump his ass!