Embarassing 'horney' things you did when you were a kid...


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KiLLSWiTCH-KnoT
06-08-2008, 03:43 PM
ahhh man i think this thread easilly beats demotivational pics thread.

anyhooo i have a few stories, all in chronological order of course:

when i was 3-4 i had a detention with a girl in my class.
things were pretty normal, until she started saying 'il sho you mine if you show me urs'.
i responded by saying 'yours first'. you know. as you do.
so she showed me hers (eww) n then i just looked discusted and refused to show hermine lol.
then a few days later, i have NO idea how but the teacher asked me what we were doing that day, and i grassed on her. you know as you do...lol


when i was 4-5 i used 2 go the the toilet with my friend at break times/lunch times and do this thing where we used to make our urine cross over each others, sorta like an X shape. also we used to do this really wierd thing where we could make our piss shoot out in 45 degree angles, so like two urine slides in one. i have absolutley NO IDEA how i did it now though lol.

when i was 6-7 ther used to b thi wierd familly who were my age two blocks away from me who would show each other their goodies n caress each other with them..man...i was like 5 cm away from losing my virginaty.

also: when i was 11-12 my friend from accross the street would stay over every weekend and we used to do sum really wierd stuff as follows:
one we stated playing this game were we were both ninjas, i was a dude ninja n he was a girl ninja. so as the game carired on we found the need for the two ninjas to have a relationship with eash other.
a week later and we ended updry humping each other under the covers with our pj's still on ofcoursem, but one time my mum walked in and i had to quickly slide my head so it didnt look like i was on top of him. haha...

with that same dude we also used to talk about how i would let him sleep with my mum if i could sleep with his.

oh yeh. n we used to watch porn together

i freakkin h8 his guts now though btw. had a fight. beat him bad, ofcourse

and finally, i bring you to the tale of my first EVER masterbation.
it was when i was 11 and i was in an english class.
i kinda pulled my dick out of my trousers n rubbed it...all of a sudden it started to feel REALLY good, but then it just stopped n i couldnt get it back up again. never actually came at that age though thank god.

oh yeh and the usual stuff, piss contests etc etc

^^ ALL THE ABOVE IS TRUE!!! ^^

metal overlord
06-08-2008, 03:54 PM
I jacked of in class once. I was rubbing it against my leg and It felt so good I couldnt stop. So finally I jizzed and there was a huge wet spot on my pants & stuff. Everyone said I peed my pants, but help me if they found out that wasn't pee.

Rojam
06-08-2008, 06:25 PM
I got dry humped by two girls when I was 13, and didn't enjoy it.

...wait, what?

GregMisiakk
06-08-2008, 07:52 PM
I got head when I was 10. I started jacking off when I was 9. I had sex with a hot tub when I was 7.

AfricaKorps
06-09-2008, 06:15 AM
When I was 14 I had my gf at my house and we were making out in my room, we couldn't **** because my mom kept walking around the house and i had to leave the door open. So we decide to go swimming in the creek behind my house. We're in the water and I've been nailin her for like 2 minutes and I feel something weird on my nuts. I feel my balls and jump off of her and there is a leach clinched on to my ball sack. Neither one of us knew how to get it off, so we go back to the house and I have to pull out my nuts and let my parents put salt on my balls and remove this ****ing leach. As they are removing the leech and my balls are bleeding from the thing sucking my blood, my dad brings up the fact that my **** is greasy and my mom sniffs my **** and says yes he had a rubber on and then have a nice sex talk with me and the gf.

That was a little awkward and embaressing.

TheLeviathan
06-11-2008, 04:31 PM
This one time, at band camp...

Mr.Smith
06-11-2008, 05:04 PM
When I was 14 I had my gf at my house and we were making out in my room, we couldn't **** because my mom kept walking around the house and i had to leave the door open. So we decide to go swimming in the creek behind my house. We're in the water and I've been nailin her for like 2 minutes and I feel something weird on my nuts. I feel my balls and jump off of her and there is a leach clinched on to my ball sack. Neither one of us knew how to get it off, so we go back to the house and I have to pull out my nuts and let my parents put salt on my balls and remove this ****ing leach. As they are removing the leech and my balls are bleeding from the thing sucking my blood, my dad brings up the fact that my **** is greasy and and my mom sniffs my **** and says yes he had a rubber on and then have a nice sex talk with me and the gf.

That was a little awkward and embaressing.

...

So like, she put her nose up to it, and sniffed it...?

stevo_92
06-12-2008, 03:46 AM
your mom sniffed your ****?

3dd_bggst_fan
06-13-2008, 11:01 PM
i was reading the list of crap people did and i really wanted to post one but, i realized ive never done alot of crap like that, and if i did, the last thing i would do is FREAKING post it on a blog! who ever the heck Robbie N Strat is, is probably a very weird guy to hang out with. about every 30 seconds hell ask you drop your pants. i wonder if his boyfriend is as perverted.

Steel8909
06-14-2008, 12:00 AM
During nap time in kindergarten this guy would pull down his pants and start playing with his dick. I didn't know how to tell the teacher that he was playing with his penis lol so I just sat through it. Then I realised his dick was different than mine. Like the skin was coving the head and he would pull it back. Afte a while I was like "that is totally awsome" During dinner time at home I would talk to my parents telling them how I wish my dick could do the same lmao



We were like 12 or something and my new buddy was showing all his toys in his room lol Then he took out these mini water balloons and told me they were "kid condoms" Then his mom walks in and he quickly throws them under his bed. I'm like "wtf they're water balloon" He was gonna prove me wrong by putting them on,I just left lol

martinez952000
06-14-2008, 12:17 AM
When I was in 4th Grade I came over to a friend's house, (that's a big mansion). It had this cool new lookin bathtub. My mom said, since this is my first nightover I had to take a bath there. The rest was history.

When I was in 6th Grade me and some classmates were starting to learn all about sex and masturbation. Once we watched that porn video, brought in by my uncle, we knew about masturbating. We masturbated for like 4 times a day. Sometimes we'd look in front of a friends' bathtub and start masturbating. We were racing to see who's dick's gonna blow it first. We then had older friends bet on us. It was like a sport, until we (the athletes) had red and sore dicks. It hurt real bad. Then we went back to business. We made like a $100 out of it and just used it to buy some porn mags when we were in 7th grade.

Azrael_031
06-14-2008, 12:22 AM
ahhh man i think this thread easilly beats demotivational pics thread.

anyhooo i have a few stories, all in chronological order of course:

when i was 3-4 i had a detention with a girl in my class.
things were pretty normal, until she started saying 'il sho you mine if you show me urs'.
i responded by saying 'yours first'. you know. as you do.
so she showed me hers (eww) n then i just looked discusted and refused to show hermine lol.
then a few days later, i have NO idea how but the teacher asked me what we were doing that day, and i grassed on her. you know as you do...lol


when i was 4-5 i used 2 go the the toilet with my friend at break times/lunch times and do this thing where we used to make our urine cross over each others, sorta like an X shape. also we used to do this really wierd thing where we could make our piss shoot out in 45 degree angles, so like two urine slides in one. i have absolutley NO IDEA how i did it now though lol.

when i was 6-7 ther used to b thi wierd familly who were my age two blocks away from me who would show each other their goodies n caress each other with them..man...i was like 5 cm away from losing my virginaty.

also: when i was 11-12 my friend from accross the street would stay over every weekend and we used to do sum really wierd stuff as follows:
one we stated playing this game were we were both ninjas, i was a dude ninja n he was a girl ninja. so as the game carired on we found the need for the two ninjas to have a relationship with eash other.
a week later and we ended updry humping each other under the covers with our pj's still on ofcoursem, but one time my mum walked in and i had to quickly slide my head so it didnt look like i was on top of him. haha...

with that same dude we also used to talk about how i would let him sleep with my mum if i could sleep with his.

oh yeh. n we used to watch porn together

i freakkin h8 his guts now though btw. had a fight. beat him bad, ofcourse

and finally, i bring you to the tale of my first EVER masterbation.
it was when i was 11 and i was in an english class.
i kinda pulled my dick out of my trousers n rubbed it...all of a sudden it started to feel REALLY good, but then it just stopped n i couldnt get it back up again. never actually came at that age though thank god.

oh yeh and the usual stuff, piss contests etc etc

^^ ALL THE ABOVE IS TRUE!!! ^^

what he told you he wasn't gay and you got pissed off?!

seriously dude...two ninjas...girl ninja...NINJA RELATIONSHIP?!...DRY HUMPING?!

i did some innocently nasty stuff when little but with GIRLS...your example is just WEIRD!

Thomasoman
06-14-2008, 12:40 AM
when I was 11 I devised a plot to simulate a vagina. So I searched high and low my house for materials. I ended with a rubber glove, an empty toilet paper roll, and a rubber band.

needless to say that was when I suddenly lost alot of respect for myself.

When I was like 4-5 my mom babysat this girl of the same age and I used to break up red chalk and spit in it and make it like a paste and have her put it on like lipstick and try to get her to take her clothes off. I didn't even know what was going on, I just saw it on TV and thought it looked fun.

Austiman
06-14-2008, 12:47 AM
I could take my hands and put them on my dick and hump the floor. It was a wierd way to jerk.

Rioluke
06-14-2008, 01:04 AM
It was so funny when I was at my friends house and we were bored so hes just like.

hey... wanna tape our wieners together?


so im like okay.


we did that and just stood there for a while until he was just like


hey.. we make an "H"




ah... last week was soo awesome.

Spl!nTeRgu!tAr
06-14-2008, 01:16 AM
when i was like 5 or something i tried too put my stick in a bathtub jet and caught

:haha:haha:haha:haha:haha

IMABBALLPLAYER
06-14-2008, 01:21 AM
I must have been like 11, but when I would play Halo: Combat Evolved with the huge Duke xbox controllers I would just get the assault rifle, fire it, and let the rumble go to work....

baddog144
06-14-2008, 03:21 AM
OK, my turn.

I was completely unperverted until I broke my leg. I recieved a magazine as a present (whoop-de-do), and it had porno ads in the back. That was the first time I wanked...

In 6th Grade, there was a group of about 6 of us. Me, 4 other boys and a girl. We'd just share stories. The girl was disturbingly eager to tell us... oh well :rolleyes:

One of the boys and me would go into the bathroom, go into two seperate cubicles, and wank lol. Is that wrong? I know this is: the other guy was continually looking over the top of my cubicle and spying on me... ewwwwwwwwww. lol Am I like seriously perverted, or is that normal?

P.S: Pool cleaners FTW. :p:

baddog144
06-14-2008, 03:30 AM
There was this like cushion thing tied around the basketball posts in the playground in my primary school, which I used to fuck the living daylights out of.

I HAD ONE OF THEM! I "accidentally" ran into it, face first. Oh, and I jumped on it. All the boys did!

Also:
I have extremely perverted dreams :haha As soon as I realize its a dream, i whip out my dong, and shove it into the nearest girl. Is that pervy or what? (I mean ANY girl)

porker
06-14-2008, 03:38 AM
not really horney, but i do it now. When im home alone i like to strip to me undies and rock out really loud and dance and headbang and just get into it.. in fact, i am right now.. btw im like 16.

-EDIT- and i do it in drop d, which makes it even dirtier.


hahahaha GO DROP D!! gnarrlyy! :cheers:

Cstatho
06-14-2008, 04:51 AM
not really horney, but i do it now. When im home alone i like to strip to me undies and rock out really loud and dance and headbang and just get into it.. in fact, i am right now.. btw im like 16.

-EDIT- and i do it in drop d, which makes it even dirtier.


Number 69 of this Comic Depicts it perfectly.
Do a google search on Legorobot Comics -Warning nsfw-

Lunchbox362
06-14-2008, 06:21 PM
I had a baby sitter that let me finger her. I was like 5, so not much happened. Also, when I was in 7th grade, I got an 8th grader to give me a lapdance naked. She was female, for all you jokers out there. >:P

toaster_poodle
06-14-2008, 06:42 PM
The dog I had during my pre-teen years liked peanut butter.

I will say no more.

emagdnimasisiht
06-19-2008, 10:44 PM
*Boing!*

Garou1911
06-19-2008, 11:24 PM
This thread is so wrong... :haha

When I was like 8 I had a friend who I used to play 'pretend' with all the time. Nothing really messed up, usually we would pretend to be either video game characters or rock stars. During the rock star thing we would always have a part after the 'show' (we would lip sync to various songs) where we would each go to a different couch and "bang groupies" which was really just us dry humping couch cushions.
:haha

Holy Magenta
06-19-2008, 11:26 PM
My best friend when I was in first grade was a boy, and one night I slept over at his house while my parents were away.
We had all gone to bed but weren't asleep yet when all of a sudden my friend and his younger brother ran into the bathroom. They came back in the room completely naked except for their towels, which they wrapped around their heads. They proceeded to some kind of "Egyptian" dance.
He goes to my high school now and isn't bad-looking at all, which makes the whole thing a lot funnier for me. :haha

metal overlord
06-20-2008, 07:35 PM
I HAD ONE OF THEM! I "accidentally" ran into it, face first. Oh, and I jumped on it. All the boys did!

Also:
I have extremely perverted dreams :haha As soon as I realize its a dream, i whip out my dong, and shove it into the nearest girl. Is that pervy or what? (I mean ANY girl)

Omg I do that to! I love thos dreams.

So one time, I was so dick something. I made a home made vagina. Empty paper towel roll, plastic bag, rubber band, and water. I put th bag in the roll, rubber banded it, and put water in it (to simulate wetness..i geuss). Then i'de put it inbetwen the couch cussion or bed matress and **** it. Good times.

emagdnimasisiht
06-21-2008, 10:27 PM
I do that... sometimes... not alot...




:(

FuZzY(aus)
06-24-2008, 06:23 AM
hmm
this thread is HUGE
40 pages
lol did anyone else play bf and gf with a girl when they were young?

*Juno*
06-24-2008, 06:40 AM
:puke:

OzarkMDaredevil
06-27-2008, 05:33 PM
:D :) :confused: :eek: :puke: :( :sad: :haha :cry: :haha

Those were my various moods while reading this thread, I mean WTF UG, this is like 40 pages long! You people scare me, YET I'VE DONE THIS STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nilpferdkoenig
06-27-2008, 08:44 PM
:haha Me and friends used to do that until we were 15-16 years old, strangely enough at a fat kids house. We only did it on weekends though.

It's only gay if you make eye contact :liplick:

Nilpferdkoenig
06-27-2008, 08:49 PM
Be ready to puke
http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html

He stuck a candle in his dick.
Seriously.
What the hell

Toasty25000
06-27-2008, 08:55 PM
When I was 14 I had my gf at my house and we were making out in my room, we couldn't **** because my mom kept walking around the house and i had to leave the door open. So we decide to go swimming in the creek behind my house. We're in the water and I've been nailin her for like 2 minutes and I feel something weird on my nuts. I feel my balls and jump off of her and there is a leach clinched on to my ball sack. Neither one of us knew how to get it off, so we go back to the house and I have to pull out my nuts and let my parents put salt on my balls and remove this ****ing leach. As they are removing the leech and my balls are bleeding from the thing sucking my blood, my dad brings up the fact that my **** is greasy and my mom sniffs my **** and says yes he had a rubber on and then have a nice sex talk with me and the gf.

That was a little awkward and embaressing.

I call BS

GrissomFan
06-27-2008, 09:04 PM
I call BS

ditto.

GrissomFan
06-27-2008, 09:06 PM
i would 'accidently' walk into the girls changing room after swimming at school :p: the amount of bald, prepuberty pussy i saw in there was epic :haha

haha... that made me smile, simply because you used UG terminology and bald pre-puberty pussy is funny to look at.

FourFortyFour
06-27-2008, 09:28 PM
Be ready to puke
http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html

He stuck a candle in his dick.
Seriously.
What the hell

you read that and the candle in the dick part was the worse to you? what about the intestines in the pool filter?

Nilpferdkoenig
06-28-2008, 09:06 AM
you read that and the candle in the dick part was the worse to you? what about the intestines in the pool filter?

I bailed out at the candle story

Teen Spirit
06-28-2008, 03:27 PM
I bailed out at the candle story
no way! i read the whole thing, it was......... interesting?........

HeavenlyVirus
06-28-2008, 03:29 PM
once, I stroked my penis back and forth 'til it threw up

LuthierofTexas
06-28-2008, 03:53 PM
When I was like 10, I played "show and tell" with my babysitter. Basically I walked into the living room butt ass naked. But it ended up cool cause I got to see my first vagina. Didn't do anything with her, but still cool.

When I was 12, I nailed my best friends 15 year old sister in the laundry room of the apartments we were living in.

When I was 11, I showed my dong to a girl that my mom worked with. In the stock room of the department store they worked at even.

Hell even to this day, I walk around my house naked with the windows open so the neighbor ladies can see my dick. But then again, Im not too embarassed by my **** and balls.

Nilpferdkoenig
06-28-2008, 04:19 PM
When I was like 10, I played "show and tell" with my babysitter. Basically I walked into the living room butt ass naked. But it ended up cool cause I got to see my first vagina. Didn't do anything with her, but still cool.

When I was 12, I nailed my best friends 15 year old sister in the laundry room of the apartments we were living in.

When I was 11, I showed my dong to a girl that my mom worked with. In the stock room of the department store they worked at even.

Hell even to this day, I walk around my house naked with the windows open so the neighbor ladies can see my dick. But then again, Im not too embarassed by my **** and balls.


You had it coming...

"HICKS!!!" :peace:

centorium
07-17-2008, 01:40 PM
When I was like 10, I played "show and tell" with my babysitter. Basically I walked into the living room butt ass naked. But it ended up cool cause I got to see my first vagina. Didn't do anything with her, but still cool.

When I was 12, I nailed my best friends 15 year old sister in the laundry room of the apartments we were living in.

When I was 11, I showed my dong to a girl that my mom worked with. In the stock room of the department store they worked at even.

Hell even to this day, I walk around my house naked with the windows open so the neighbor ladies can see my dick. But then again, Im not too embarassed by my **** and balls.


oh come on i'm the only one who doesn't believe this story....seriously

Bonesaw
07-17-2008, 01:41 PM
*looks at thread* so... we meet again

Underjoggle
07-17-2008, 01:50 PM
I told my mom that I was going to invite a girl over and take a bath with her because she was my girlfriend.
This girl didn't even know I existed.


Also, I got caught peeing on the playground in 2nd grade. By a teenage girl. :D

I used to go into my 1st grade bathroom and take off all my clothes and pose naked because I saw it in American Beauty.

gavz_verdikt
07-30-2008, 07:02 PM
Spelling of horney... lol!!

http://hometheaterinfo.com/images/Tv14.gif

Be careful.. u dont know what u may watch

Hirschberger
07-30-2008, 07:05 PM
Who brought this back...










































:no:

VieNam
08-09-2008, 12:00 PM
It was so funny when I was at my friends house and we were bored so hes just like.

hey... wanna tape our wieners together?


so im like okay.


we did that and just stood there for a while until he was just like


hey.. we make an "H"




ah... last week was soo awesome.


DUDE??

Bronek
08-09-2008, 12:07 PM
hmm I've never done this but I have heard about a game called "freckles." Some guys from my rugby club told me about it.

So anyway the rules are that you gather a group of people in a circle. Everyone takes turns taking a **** in the center of the circle. When everyone's finished there should be a nice pile of ****. Then the youngest in the circle starts furiously pounding the pile of **** with his fist. The one with the most freckles wins.

gizmodious
08-14-2008, 12:03 PM
when I was like 7 I discovered maturbation on accident in the shower. I blame silky smooth conditioner and excessive ball washing. That lead to me experimenting with just about every cream-style concoction in my bathroom :)

FYI facial scrubs hurt, big no no.

Thescottsman
08-14-2008, 12:08 PM
One time I had a party at my house and we were getting ready to crash for the night (last year) and my friend was laying down next to the wall.

He proceeded to tell us he had a slide show for us and took his cell phone and the light casted a giant shadow on the wall, it was his playin with his balls while he had a boner.

The kid is hilarious, just gross as hell

SkateEmerica987
08-14-2008, 03:31 PM
I was camping with my friend last year and he has a little sister probly 9 or 10 years old, so anyways she had a friend along as well and my friend and i went into the tent to get some food before we went swimming and we walked in on his sister and her friend naked kissing and touching eachother, it was pretty weird. Its funny listening to parents try to punish kids when they do stuff like that because they dont know better.

Andrew!
08-14-2008, 03:42 PM
oh come on i'm the only one who doesn't believe this story....seriously
YEah pics or it didn't happen

amazing FretMan
08-14-2008, 05:24 PM
when i was 8 or 9 ( i lived in a bad part of town so hopefully you will understand)

these 2 girls that were best friends...they were 13-14 and always flirted with me...and would kiss me and stuff

then one day we went into the woods and my friend came with...we played truth or dare with the girls....we dared them to show us there boobs and they said only if we show them our dicks..and we said only if you suck them...


needless to say that was a great/awkward day....considering back then i really wasnt into girls in a sexual way




EDIT: oh and when i was 10 or 11 i tried to stick it in a gatorade bottle...i couldnt do it...if i forced it i would have gotten stuck or died or something

heavenbesideyou
08-14-2008, 05:27 PM
1. Bathroom
2. Chocolate Syrup
3. ?????????????
4. Profit!

thedefrockednun
08-14-2008, 05:42 PM
what was that film called?? ahh the full montey, when I was 6, a friend and I were invited to this girl's birthdayparty and they put on the full montey music and my friend and I stripped up to the point when we were about to take of our jeans lol, I don't remember it all to well, I just remember our mums laughing soo hard we thought they'd suffocate (in my defence I'm shure we were dared to do it)

FifthHorsemen
08-14-2008, 05:51 PM
In school we had those blues chairs with the three like hole slit thingies, and I sat behind this really really really cute girl. So one day my hormones got the best of me, and I slid a hand through each the left and right hole before she sat down for a nice grab. I then got slapped in the face, and a bottle of water poured all over my head (rightfully so). I think I learned my lesson? :confused:

convictionless
08-14-2008, 06:12 PM
lol i wasnt really perverted back then, but you know the usual stuff. but im more perverted now then when i was younger, and its with my current gf lol

Taygunov
08-14-2008, 06:34 PM
When I was eight, me and my best friend started "practicing for girls".
Which involved us going into the woods, and him sticking his dick in my ass.
The last time we did it, his sister caught us. :(

dude....

splitman
08-14-2008, 06:34 PM
hahaha!
yeh i used to do some pretty stupid stuff also...
when i was like 10 i would cut holes in pillows and lay them on my bed and stand up and try to
"tap that" haha.
and i tried a lot of other crud also.

and like 3 of my friends and i would try to stick it in gatorade bottles and only one of my friends fit in the little bottle, back then that was 'cool' at like 7 yrs old but now that we r older its better to be bigger :)

E_squared
08-14-2008, 06:54 PM
Well, this one time, I smeared chapstick all over my butt......... and before that, in about 1st grade, I hugged my little sister while we were both naked.....didn't know any better!

Flaming Bass
08-14-2008, 08:36 PM
I just read this whole damn thread, It's taken me about 2 hours.

One word for you all...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ROFLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLAWLAGE :D

AfroMan Skeeter
08-14-2008, 09:13 PM
Well I guess the 'sickest thing' I did (and only did once, for a good reason) was masturbate without soap, just water. No biggie right? No. It was a day where it takes forever, and I rubbed myself raw and was bleeding from my **** as I went at it. I finished, and didn't touch myself for 2 weeks after that :x

I also stuck it in a bowl of warm pasta as a kid... and a jelly bag... and a peach can.

Ancient Jello
08-14-2008, 09:23 PM
I also stuck it in a bowl of warm pasta as a kid...

I once did that with a carton of lukewarm sweet & sour pork takeaway that my folks didn't eat.

AfroMan Skeeter
08-14-2008, 09:26 PM
I once did that with a carton of lukewarm sweet & sour pork takeaway that my folks didn't eat.

Lol good thing thing they didn't either.

Oh another, even younger I cut open a teddy bear and used that. Of course my dad found it before it got tossed x_x

stepco12345
08-14-2008, 09:27 PM
Well, this one time, I smeared chapstick all over my butt......... and before that, in about 1st grade, I hugged my little sister while we were both naked.....didn't know any better!

What the..

What...


:puke:

L.P
08-14-2008, 09:34 PM
I got head when I was 10. I started jacking off when I was 9. I had sex with a hot tub when I was 7.

dude you had sex before you got head... your ****ing weird

amazing FretMan
08-14-2008, 10:39 PM
i love this thread

stepco12345
08-14-2008, 11:01 PM
i love this thread

We all do. :)

SonataFanica
08-14-2008, 11:40 PM
I used to twang off aling with a friend watching the dirtier shows on his television. (Clarissa explains it all, Monty Python's Flying Circus....j/k)

There was also a bloke when I was about 11 that made me take showers with him.

lyndon_93
08-17-2008, 08:57 AM
I have read every single post in these 42 pages and i am not dissapointed at all.

sum_ugly_man
08-17-2008, 09:23 AM
I used to lube up and then drop the toilet seat on me gently and then I would thrust away. This was when i was 14.

ilovemySG
08-17-2008, 07:44 PM
I used to lube up and then drop the toilet seat on me gently and then I would thrust away. This was when i was 14.


HAHAHAHA thats one of the best on the thread

billy0805
08-17-2008, 07:54 PM
i got caught looking at porn on the internet when I was in the second grade.

due 07
08-17-2008, 08:27 PM
I used to moon people in public all the time.

One time i showed a waitress at pizza hut my cack.

this thread is hilarious btw.

luvsmygf13
08-17-2008, 09:32 PM
When I was in third grade I got caught for lookinig at porn.
When I look back on it I realised that I knew how to delete the history.
I was just too damn lazy.
And one time my sister walked in on me jacking off.
I avoided her for about a week and a half.

SonataFanica
08-17-2008, 09:36 PM
My friend got caught when we were twelve watching porn, and told his parents that I was the one who told him how to do it. Then they called my parents and knocked on my door to have a chat. Well, guess what I was doing.

epicweapon
08-17-2008, 10:17 PM
lol this thread is awesome :) when i was 4 i would play doctor with this girl on the bus we would feel each other ON THE BUS (god i wonder wat all the kids near us did? ) then i saw her recently after all the yrs and she brought it up i lol'd

gopherthegreat
08-17-2008, 10:47 PM
I used to hump my pillow. I still do occasionally.

The4thHorsemen
08-17-2008, 10:52 PM
god, will this thread ever die? lol I just remembered, in like the 2nd grade on the bus me and two girls were like flashing our underwear and laughing, then a couple minutes later I told one of em "hey I wanta show you something" and I went under the seat of the bus and she did too. I then pulled out my dick and she was like "eww gross".... I avoided her for like three years after that lol.

guitarist2893
08-18-2008, 10:01 PM
This one time, I was stayin at the house of friends of the family. I found my way to the underwear drawer of the hot daughter, and proceeded to sniff my way through as many as I could before going into to bathroom to wank.

:D


i have done this b4

ilovemySG
08-18-2008, 10:23 PM
I used to hump my pillow. I still do occasionally.


and you my friend are one of the reasons why pillowcases are white :D

Bambi Slaughter
08-18-2008, 11:09 PM
:cry: there goes my good nights sleep.

:cry::cry::cry:

bigtimmy
08-18-2008, 11:17 PM
lol this thread is awesome :) when i was 4 i would play doctor with this girl on the bus we would feel each other ON THE BUS (god i wonder wat all the kids near us did? ) then i saw her recently after all the yrs and she brought it up i lol'd

did u bang her after that?

when i was younger i used to love having no-one home and i'd strut around naked watchin porn pretending i was the guy in the film lol.

these days if im at a girl's house i strut around naked but then I AM THE GUY IN THE FILM. :D

pitfall2000
08-21-2008, 10:59 AM
when i was 6 i had a crush on my neighbor, she was 13 or somthing. so one day she came over for some reason and my brother held her down. and if my mom hadnt walked in i would have raped her.

Minifly3
08-22-2008, 02:52 PM
I whipped my willy out next to a girl in 9th grade
same as he said.. theres some more wacked stories.... but i don't care to share them..

JMTrio134
08-22-2008, 02:55 PM
Pitfall.

I expect to see you on the news some time.

capn crayola
08-22-2008, 03:20 PM
lmfao this stuff is hilarious

props to you Robbie, you got guts! :cheers:
i have no stories in which i would like to share

Littleangus44
09-01-2008, 02:35 PM
We played whirlwind in the boys room at about 4th grade...wed just wip it out and spin while we emptyd our blatters...we blamed the 2nd graders for it

Metal_miltia
09-01-2008, 02:53 PM
hahah in like grade 5 i used to stare at my moms cosmos mags and hump cushions and not even know why...

illsupriseyou17
09-01-2008, 02:56 PM
i used to masterbate when i was little. ever since i can remember. the funny part was. i thought that watching mtv was so naughty. it turned me on cuz i didnt know any better... damn i was a weird kid

Metal_miltia
09-01-2008, 03:00 PM
When I was 14 I had my gf at my house and we were making out in my room, we couldn't **** because my mom kept walking around the house and i had to leave the door open. So we decide to go swimming in the creek behind my house. We're in the water and I've been nailin her for like 2 minutes and I feel something weird on my nuts. I feel my balls and jump off of her and there is a leach clinched on to my ball sack. Neither one of us knew how to get it off, so we go back to the house and I have to pull out my nuts and let my parents put salt on my balls and remove this ****ing leach. As they are removing the leech and my balls are bleeding from the thing sucking my blood, my dad brings up the fact that my **** is greasy and my mom sniffs my **** and says yes he had a rubber on and then have a nice sex talk with me and the gf.

That was a little awkward and embaressing.


AHAHAAH mannn thats soo funny im seriously in tears right now hahahahaha

Metallica Meat
09-01-2008, 03:41 PM
I havent done alot of **** like humping a stuffed animal...
But i had this friend who (i didnt know any better either...)
Hed be all like "OOOK MICHAEL, See thats the Vigineria, and you stick your weenis in the Louiterus, and spray slum all over her vigineria...DUH!!!"


Yeah...
Sick

deluded_reality
09-01-2008, 04:05 PM
Well, I haven't done too many such 'things' . I've jerked off when my dad was sleeping next to me. I used to go up and down the fireman's pole in a jungle gym near my house. Once, I was fapping and came for the first time. I was scared ****less. I thought I had AIDS. (All of these were when I was 12-13 and had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that it felt great)

aznmetalhead93
09-01-2008, 04:29 PM
Barbie dolls used to turn me on and I would make out with them. This was when I was like 8, mind you.

jgbsmith
09-02-2008, 12:13 PM
Yeah.... :puke:

I did most of that stuff...

one time when I was about 10, I was at my friend's house watching TV with him, his wee brother, his wee brother's friend and his wee sister, he went across the hall and took a dump without closing either door so he could still watch the box, and he came back through without pulling up his jeans... and he had a boner.

played "willy tig" with my brother and a (female) friend, this involved whoever was "it" running around naked,

and the usual primary school pissing contests.

first time I came.. ah memories, I thought I was dying =]

soo many more

I think I might just be the only person who wasted an hour+ of my life reading 43 pages of posts, and that creepy f'd up intestines story.

all true btw, sorry no pics

oyvindree
09-02-2008, 12:19 PM
Got a boner while my mom was washing my hair in the bathtub.... I was about 4-5 years old.












:(

TheHereAway
09-02-2008, 12:20 PM
when i was 6 i had a crush on my neighbor, she was 13 or somthing. so one day she came over for some reason and my brother held her down. and if my mom hadnt walked in i would have raped her.

LMAO, how tragic that could of been...

af_the_fragile
09-02-2008, 12:25 PM
Got a boner while my mom was washing my hair in the bathtub.... I was about 4-5 years old.

:(

You got a boner when you were 4-5??
NO WAI!!!

billybusa
09-02-2008, 12:32 PM
it's funny how 90% of all the people here are lying ಠ_ಠ

SlipknotRule93
09-02-2008, 12:48 PM
You got a boner when you were 4-5??
NO WAI!!!

i got a boner in the bath when i was younger and i didnt know what it was so i tried to tell my mum there was something wrong with my willy but she didnt hear me.

KiLLSWiTCH-KnoT
09-02-2008, 12:51 PM
i got a boner in the bath when i was younger and i didnt know what it was so i tried to tell my mum there was something wrong with my willy but she didnt hear me.
i love your sig

chipmunksurfer
09-02-2008, 12:51 PM
i used to think boners meant you had to go the bathroom. not really embarassing, but it was kinda funny

SlipknotRule93
09-02-2008, 12:52 PM
i love your sig

u quoted THAT to tell me THIS


i love yours too!

KiLLSWiTCH-KnoT
09-02-2008, 01:17 PM
u quoted THAT to tell me THIS


i love yours too!

(you forgot to close the brackets?..)

--LP--
09-02-2008, 01:31 PM
When I was about 7 or 8, I used to play tag with my cousins. The rule was, if you go tagged, you had to show your stuff. And my cousin used to show me her chest. Pretty sick sht.

guitarstrangler
09-02-2008, 07:53 PM
I've looked over much of this thread and i have one question...
is there anyone here who hasn't slept with their cousin or done something that might as well be the equivalent with another family member?

but seriously, hilarious thread

I once knew this guy who used to jack off to birth videos, you know the ones where the womans giving birth and you see the head crowning, ect

InsantKarma94
09-02-2008, 09:34 PM
I once made out with my neighbor in a closet when i was 7-8; well maybe more than once. Another time me, my brother, and some neighbors got caught dancing around in our underwear. Also, when i was 12 i think, i was home alone so i used the pool jets to wank (feels awesome btw), and I was just playing around and eventually i came. I realized what had happened as it spread throughout the pool. I did my best to get rid of any evidence before anyone got home. Funny times.

Isaacshreds
09-02-2008, 10:16 PM
When i was about six i had sex with an oversized stuffed pikachu on my bed.
SO I HERD U LEIK PIKACHUZ

AfroMan Skeeter
09-14-2008, 02:18 PM
This thread died!?!
I guess I'll post another....

I put a hot dog up my ass before, ran around my house butt-naked looking for my cat, and shot the hot dog outta my ass at it. Myaw Myaw was never so pissed (Myaw Myaw is my cats name btw).

Hmm what else.

I thought it would enhance my masturbation if I had really warm balls, kinda like sticking them in a va-jay-jay, so I heated up some water on the store and lowered them in... needless to say I had no men marching out onto my podium that day -_-

nowa90
09-21-2008, 12:29 PM
When I was eight, me and my best friend started "practicing for girls".
Which involved us going into the woods, and him sticking his dick in my ass.
The last time we did it, his sister caught us. :(
were u raped?weird enought i think i did that too

EJD
09-21-2008, 12:33 PM
I put a hot dog up my ass before, ran around my house butt-naked looking for my cat, and shot the hot dog outta my ass at it.

HOLY CRAP :haha:haha:haha:haha:haha:haha

...


:haha:haha:haha

Holy shit that's the funniest thing I've heard all of my time on UG. You, sir, win at life.

Vauxite
09-21-2008, 12:35 PM
I put a hot dog up my ass before, ran around my house butt-naked looking for my cat, and shot the hot dog outta my ass at it.

wat.

EJD
09-21-2008, 12:36 PM
Whatever it was, he is now sigged :haha

br&nizzle
09-21-2008, 01:03 PM
My neighbor was ****ed up.
and so was i, in retrospect.

when i was about 7 or 8 i used to go over to her house and hang out.

her parents were divorced and her mom worked all day so we'de be alone mosrt of the time.

she frequently would flash me and stuff, but thats not a big deal.

one day, we both took off our clothes and she sat on me.

like reverse cowboy.

we just laughed cause it felt funny, but i got my first boner that day.

i then soon figured out what her corresponding hole was for.

keep in mind i was less than 8 years old.


i have nightmares from time to time about it.

i havent talked to her in years (i moved shortly after this happened) but im pretty sure that i sexually abused her...even tho i didnt know what was going on.

jgbsmith
09-22-2008, 09:10 AM
and wait... what?! you lost your virginity age 8??

you must be the only UGer to ever lose their virginty

oh and bump

metallicaftwlp
09-23-2008, 02:17 AM
i done some crazy stuff

HeartRaz0r
09-23-2008, 02:24 AM
:haha I have masturbated on the back of a life sized panther doll.


...Don't ask
that's nice :D

i can remember me masturbating to silly games

777Corey
09-23-2008, 02:25 AM
there was some neighbor girl who was just as curious i was about the opposite sex when we were both like 8, we would have 'play dates' and when parents werent around or anything, we would.. you know? check ou eachothers plumming.
i thought nothing of it at the time of course, looking back its hilarious as much as it is awkward, but it must have made our marriage when we played 'house' much more authentic.

metallicaftwlp
09-23-2008, 02:41 AM
http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html - i seriously couldnt finish reading that, i felt like puking.

some things ive done:
when i was about 4 i peed in a cup in a bath in the bath 'cos i wanted to see what it tasted like'

when i had chicken pox when i think around 4-5 one fell off in the bath and i got out & showed my parents and said 'look a chicken pock'

i remember i used to flop my **** out alot when i was about 4-8 even right in my grandmas face

when i was 8 i was at my god brothers house with his sister in a room & she was like 7 i cant remeber what we were talking about but i said 'boys have these' and i was almost to pull out my **** by my dad walked in

also i remember in yr 6 everyone was looking at porn one day like typing in 'big boobs & penis' in google images

also in like yr 7 i tried to wank lots but nothing happened but then one day i did cumand it felt soooooo good

i remember that i used try and put my **** in bottles of like shampoo and toilets rolls & the jets in the bath. this was when i felt like horny as in yr 5

iLol
09-23-2008, 02:56 AM
http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html

iLol i read that story years ago.




I was 9..my friend was staying the night and I slept in my boxers..
Before we went to bed..
we were watching tv.
He was sitting right infront of the T.V..
I walked up to the side of him with my boxers unbuttoned and I had a boner.
I tried so hard to get him to look but he wouldn't.
So I stuck it in his ear..


















He never talked to me again.

metallicaftwlp
09-23-2008, 03:01 AM
i loled so hard at that

thats a real wet willie

iLol
09-23-2008, 03:03 AM
iLol, it would have been so much better if I would have wiggled it and yelled, 'Wet willy!!'




..Oh well, maybe there will be another opportunity sometime in my life..

777Corey
09-23-2008, 03:25 AM
http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html - i seriously couldnt finish reading that, i felt like puking.

YES! Chuck Palahniuk is amazing!

Z_cup_boy
09-23-2008, 03:42 AM
YES! Chuck Palahniuk is amazing!
oh my god, i can handle it up to the intestine out the butt part....omg...

metallicaftwlp
09-23-2008, 06:12 AM
FINALLY FINISHED READING IT!!!! HOORAY! now i can live my life as normal again

King Of Suede
09-23-2008, 09:28 PM
The first time I ejaculated, I put some of it on a rag and tasted it. Yeah never again.

I also, from 4 till like 10y.o. i would go under my covers with like toys and shit and pretend I was being held hostage and people were doing experiments on ma dick. Also, I would close my eyes and imagine myslef being tied down and having girls be in like lines, comming up to touch my dick.

Also, when I was first starting to masturbate, I would have several things to do it with at a time. Like tissues, socks, underwear I never wore. I would pretend these were all different girls I wanted to bangggg.

Not perverted or anything, but I had this friend that I used to hang out with allot at his house, I don't know why, but my parents thought I was doing drugs and having butt sex with him. I got the whole "experimentation" speech. This was when I was 14 or something.

All I can think of. Not too horrible IMO

nevin021s
09-23-2008, 11:25 PM
http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html

I almost puked...until i realized it was good old chuck palanuik....that makes me believe that its fake...right?

Spaceman_Spiff
09-23-2008, 11:44 PM
http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html

I almost puked...until i realized it was good old chuck palanuik....that makes me believe that its fake...right? Im pretty sure it isnt about him, I read a biography of his and the details in Guts didnt match up with his life. However, the stories could very well be true, just from different people

RockGuitar92
09-23-2008, 11:48 PM
I had a boner and I tried to conceal it but I couldn't and I had to squeeze by a fat chick and my dick rubbed up her ass. She liked it.

777Corey
09-23-2008, 11:55 PM
Im pretty sure it isnt about him, I read a biography of his and the details in Guts didnt match up with his life. However, the stories could very well be true, just from different people
Its not about him, but most of the stories (like that one) from the book Haunted are stories he's come across and know to be true, though exagerrated like in urban legends.
But if you look hard enough there really are deaths attributed to that happening.

frozen_soul
09-24-2008, 12:22 AM
i once tried to do it with a sobe bottle. unfortunately the hole was too small for my massive wang

n00bs4brkfst
09-24-2008, 12:24 AM
i once tried to do it with a sobe bottle. unfortunately the hole was too small for my massive wang

I Just imagined you saying that in Mr/Mrs. Garrison's voice...

Stupid avatar... :D

British Josh
12-14-2008, 08:30 PM
Don't let this thread die.

Kastrator
12-14-2008, 08:44 PM
why am i looking at this thread...

GHTransfer
12-16-2008, 11:07 PM
I remember the first time I got off...
I was listening to that song "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls on my radio up in my loft bed (I was 10, loft bed gone) and imagining them "unbuttoning" themselves and touching each other......

Scared the crap out of me, I thought I like had to pee or something, but by the time I got to the bathroom, I didn have to anymore. I had heard of masturbation, and knew it was white and would show up in my black underwear, but I guess not lol.

Was about 2 months or a year later- I dunno if it was early spring or fall, I just remember my first time intentionally doing it in the winter when looking at some kind of porn. I was so excited for some reason, but couldn't figure out why I couldn't do it over again right away lol.

guiTardif123
12-16-2008, 11:43 PM
Bump

sghunter182
12-17-2008, 12:21 AM
dont die on me!!!!

SomebodySomeone
12-17-2008, 12:56 AM
back in the day i used to masturbate for hours straight and have multiple orgasms, one on top of the other. since i didn't cum any fluid no cleaning up needed. :D

somehow i suspect that is the root my problem i have nowindays. :sad:

gorkyporky
12-17-2008, 03:02 PM
^well i did that to, and i turned out great. ....kinda....




Ok, you're right...

AfroMan Skeeter
12-18-2008, 11:53 PM
This thread should probably die, but then again what fun would that be?

It just so happens that I have a new addition, which will later lead up to my question.

I like to experiment, I'm not going to lie. I will try new things depending on what it pertains to... but tonight was one of those nights where you just get into the mood and can't stop yourself. So, I have had issues with doing my thing safely (as my previous posts might suggest) and I wanted an "Aide" with my deed. I got my "aide", got a burning sensation, and finished up like any other time.

Now my question refers to that burning sensation I have going on right now. I used Ethyl Alcohol to "aide my deeds" and it hurts like the dickens. I never knew what that meaning meant, but I think it fits this situation.

So, with this burning and the red shapes showing up on my skin, am I in any serious trouble here?

RPExecutor
12-19-2008, 12:02 AM
So, with this burning and the red shapes showing up on my skin, am I in any serious trouble here?

you used way too much innuendo for me to be sure what you meant, but my prerecorded response is:

rub any part of your body too much and the same thing will happen. it'll probably clear up in a while, although i may say you were remarkably stupid.

Boogie Man
12-19-2008, 12:10 AM
This thread should probably die, but then again what fun would that be?

It just so happens that I have a new addition, which will later lead up to my question.

I like to experiment, I'm not going to lie. I will try new things depending on what it pertains to... but tonight was one of those nights where you just get into the mood and can't stop yourself. So, I have had issues with doing my thing safely (as my previous posts might suggest) and I wanted an "Aide" with my deed. I got my "aide", got a burning sensation, and finished up like any other time.

Now my question refers to that burning sensation I have going on right now. I used Ethyl Alcohol to "aide my deeds" and it hurts like the dickens. I never knew what that meaning meant, but I think it fits this situation.

So, with this burning and the red shapes showing up on my skin, am I in any serious trouble here?

lol, you rubbed alcohol on your dick and wonder why iy burns, oh god, that is so ****ing stupid.

amason51
12-19-2008, 12:15 AM
I got my "aide", got a burning sensation, and finished up like any other time.

Now my question refers to that burning sensation I have going on right now. I used Ethyl Alcohol to "aide my deeds" and it hurts like the dickens. I never knew what that meaning meant, but I think it fits this situation.

So, with this burning and the red shapes showing up on my skin, am I in any serious trouble here?

if you like burning sensations you should:
jack off with hotsauce

or

spray your dick with axe and light it on fire

SomebodySomeone
12-19-2008, 12:17 AM
This thread should probably die, but then again what fun would that be?

It just so happens that I have a new addition, which will later lead up to my question.

I like to experiment, I'm not going to lie. I will try new things depending on what it pertains to... but tonight was one of those nights where you just get into the mood and can't stop yourself. So, I have had issues with doing my thing safely (as my previous posts might suggest) and I wanted an "Aide" with my deed. I got my "aide", got a burning sensation, and finished up like any other time.

Now my question refers to that burning sensation I have going on right now. I used Ethyl Alcohol to "aide my deeds" and it hurts like the dickens. I never knew what that meaning meant, but I think it fits this situation.

So, with this burning and the red shapes showing up on my skin, am I in any serious trouble here?

ROTFLMAO :haha:

ilovemySG
12-19-2008, 06:17 PM
this actually happend last smmer, and i havent posted here since then so here it goes!

i was on the bus with my girlfriend after coming back from a fieltrip
it was like a dinner thing too so she was in a dress i was in a suit
i ripped her dress down and started licking her chest, andher dress ripped

her mom never found out but the dress is like in the garbage somewhere
kinda funny like, idk it seems like you had to have been there when it went SHREEEESHHH


*shreeesHHH*
"o ****, thats my bad"

prsrulz91
12-20-2008, 03:56 PM
i dont have nething too exciting to contribute here. just watching porn with my friends at a sleepover. no jacking off tho; we were too excited about seeing tits.
and i used to masturbate in the shower around the same time. it was nice cuz there was no fluid. I miss those days

xander307
12-20-2008, 03:59 PM
it was nice cuz there was no fluid. I miss those days
:haha me too mate

SonataFanica
12-20-2008, 08:25 PM
One time I carefully carved a hole into a pear with an Xacto knife and lined the hole with peanut butter.

I then stuck the pear in a microwave for 30 seconds on HIGH and then let it coll down a little.



When it was nice and warm I started to FUCK THE LIVING PEARSHIT OUT OF IT.

It was all like, "YES SONATAFANICA! LOLWUT, LOLWUT!!!!!"






Well, not really, but there was a huge unexplainable mess for my parents when they got home.

patbuck2
12-20-2008, 09:41 PM
One time I carefully carved a hole into a pear with an Xacto knife and lined the hole with peanut butter.

I then stuck the pear in a microwave for 30 seconds on HIGH and then let it coll down a little.



When it was nice and warm I started to FUCK THE LIVING PEARSHIT OUT OF IT.

It was all like, "YES SONATAFANICA! LOLWUT, LOLWUT!!!!!"






Well, not really, but there was a huge unexplainable mess for my parents when they got home.
Lol, that story had me on the floor laughing.

SonataFanica
12-20-2008, 10:26 PM
You're welcome.

guitardude34875
12-20-2008, 10:33 PM
One time I carefully carved a hole into a pear with an Xacto knife and lined the hole with peanut butter.

I then stuck the pear in a microwave for 30 seconds on HIGH and then let it coll down a little.



When it was nice and warm I started to FUCK THE LIVING PEARSHIT OUT OF IT.

It was all like, "YES SONATAFANICA! LOLWUT, LOLWUT!!!!!"





Well, not really, but there was a huge unexplainable mess for my parents when they got home.

/thread

deafening
12-22-2008, 02:13 PM
i've never seen so much smut in one open thread, except on ytmnd...uuugh


i would say the horniest things i did as a youngen was jack off several times in one sitting before i could really cum much
LMAO
perverts on here tho lmao

SonataFanica
12-22-2008, 02:25 PM
By the way, I use conditioner to wank with.

Bleurgh
12-22-2008, 07:19 PM
When I was 10 or 11, I walked in on my mum getting out of the bath.

Mum: "........."
Me: "........."
Mum: ".........."
Me: ".........."
Mum: "..........."
Me: ":wtf:"

bloodycomfort
12-22-2008, 07:31 PM
I got dared to run laps in a Cumberland Farms gas station with my pants and boxers off when I was about 14, and it most definitely happened until the worker in the store threatened to call police. :p:

frozen_soul
12-23-2008, 01:33 AM
When I was 10 or 11, I walked in on my mum getting out of the bath.

Mum: "........."
Me: "........."
Mum: ".........."
Me: ".........."
Mum: "..........."
Me: " :sexsmile: "
fixed

thementor
12-23-2008, 01:38 AM
When I was 8 i got caught in the girls locker room at school... the girls weren't really mad at me but it made no diffrence i was terrified...

If it makes any diffrence i thought it was the boys xD

AfroMan Skeeter
12-23-2008, 02:50 AM
if you like burning sensations you should:
jack off with hotsauce

or

spray your dick with axe and light it on fire

Hm, I'll have to ask for some next time I'm at Taco Bell. Normally I just get Sour Cream.

Hahah no no, I set my friend on fire at school a few years back and I think that is the last time I have used axe. Not to mention it smells kinda nasty... or maybe that was his burnt skin. That never smells to good to me.

brodieyo
12-23-2008, 10:53 AM
I use to play my doodle like a guitar
thats where it started :)

Liam.
12-23-2008, 11:15 AM
I dry humped a tree once

_C o L o r S_
12-23-2008, 11:20 AM
Oh wow...where does the list start...and where will it end...

I got my how do you do neighbor stuck in a bottle of lotion...uhm..a bottle of olive oil..


alot of things it has been stuck in..

rougegratton
12-23-2008, 11:28 AM
Oh god not petrina the pervert again? how do you keep coming back?


EDit: oh i see this isnt a new thread what so ever

vulgarmachine
12-29-2008, 12:48 PM
ahh nout like christmas to bring up all the stories about when I were a wee lad.

So this one came up this year - when I was 4 or 5 I met this girl, and I was - for some bizarre reason - the only real friend she'd ever had. We used to sit in her cardboard wigwam for hours on end and her mum used to give us dry spaghetti to eat.

So anyhoo, one day I goes round, and for some bizarre reason we took off our clothes and sat naked in the wigwam playing - our mothers had no problem, I mean we were 4 or 5, some might say "innocent."

Not me, even aged 4.

They hear the girl crying - so her mum goes to find out what was wrong, only to find me sitting there, having stolen her spaghetti sticks, and using my spaghetti sticks. Where had I put them.

Yup - I'd put them in her bum hole and her lady parts.

Needless to say I never went to play there again.

poooey
12-29-2008, 03:14 PM
When I was a wee lad about 3 I used to urinate in my little brothers bed, then tell him there was a hot dog under his pillow, he was stupid enough to go get in his bed.

Swear it only happened a couple of times!

thedarkest5432
01-01-2009, 10:57 PM
OMG, I read up to page 45 and I couldn't take it any more. I did most of the **** in this thread plus I used to make out with my friend's sister. She was my first kiss. I also played truth or dare with my sister, which is something I regret. I took baths with my younger cousin "to save water" as his mom used to say. All of this happened between the ages of 7-13. I also use to beat it to all kinds of porn. LOL one time i beat it in the back of my van while we were driving. I also watched a porno with my sister a couple of times.

I did some sick stuff.

Shadow_Hawk
01-01-2009, 11:03 PM
On another note
What embarrassing jhorny things do people get up to NOW that is either similar to the days of old (or young :P) or more embarrassing?

2 years ago I rubbed my **** against my best friends back. Yes, i was 13. Don't make me relive it again. Please.

PluckU
01-02-2009, 04:26 AM
mmm well, here it goes:

we would actually compare sizes when we were 7-8. I would usually win until the dammed kid moved in down the street...

Trudogger
01-02-2009, 05:14 AM
I sucked off my cousin once when I was nine. He's black.



:sad:

jgbsmith
01-02-2009, 05:18 AM
I sucked off my cousin once when I was nine. He's black.



:sad:
is it true what they say?

LAMF413
01-02-2009, 05:18 AM
i stuck my dick and finger in chinese handcuffs

Trudogger
01-02-2009, 05:22 AM
is it true what they say?

Considering your user title I either think I shouldn't tell you, or think you already know. :p:

jgbsmith
01-02-2009, 05:24 AM
Considering your user title I either think I shouldn't tell you, or think you already know. :p:
perhaps :p: :peace:

monkeysintheday
01-02-2009, 05:42 AM
I guess not Horny but "Child Exhibitionist"

I believe I was about 3 when I was in North Carolina and told my mom I had to be, she told me to go in the ocean. So being a 3 year old I walked up to where the water was up to my ankles, pulled my pants down, and proceeded to pee.

When I was about 8 I played baseball and told my coach I had to pee (recurring theme huh?) he said to use the trees that were a small distance away from the field. The whole team had to go to, and we all used the same tree.

Thinking back on these moments all I can do is lol and lol and lol.

Moony_L
01-02-2009, 05:47 AM
Fap. I just didn't know what I was doing, but it felt good, so... :liplick:

I was so scared when i came for the first time, i thought that my balls exploded.

druz15_UG
01-02-2009, 06:02 AM
:haha

Quite the little deviant. The only thing i remember is masturbating when i couldnt cum, god they were the good old days..no clean up needed.

right freakin there. And you didn't even know what it was it just felt good. but somehow you knew it was wrong

Machine Gun Cat
01-02-2009, 06:03 AM
I'm not gay so this isn't 'horney' as such but when I was about 8 I used to form my hands into claws that I called "diddle grinders" and shove them in my friend's crotches. I als used to squeeze girls asses. in fact one girl who was in my class grew up to be pretty hot and I was in a class with one of my friends in 2007 and I was like " I've totally squeezed that girls ass before" and he didn't believe me

Finnepinne
01-02-2009, 06:07 AM
When me and my family went on a car trip in a minivan (9 seats), I sat alone in the back.
I asked mom if she had a magazine I could read. And she did, a womans magazine with like "How to check yourself for breastcancer" and there were pics with naked women.

Ofcourse, horny as I was, 14 years old, I started wanking off. I still had my dick in my pants, I just rubbed it, and eventually put my hands in there.

Now that I think back on it 7 years later I'm like "wtf was I thinking". Pretty embarrassing.

franklyn monroe
01-02-2009, 06:20 AM
i used to steal my friends sisters knickers when i was 13.

Boogie Man
01-02-2009, 06:23 AM
right freakin there. And you didn't even know what it was it just felt good. but somehow you knew it was wrong


so, so, so true :(

ShelbyLynn
01-02-2009, 06:53 AM
Only masturbated by clitoral stimulation.
hah.

franklyn monroe
01-02-2009, 06:58 AM
i put toothpaste on my "ahem" once,it burns :(

jdmurrayz
01-02-2009, 07:08 AM
I've masturbated at friends houses before : /, Also I masturbated to a picture of my friends mom in a bikini that was in there bathroom for some reason.

franklyn monroe
01-02-2009, 07:12 AM
I've masturbated at friends houses before : /, Also I masturbated to a picture of my friends mom in a bikini that was in there bathroom for some reason.

:haha i did it in my friends bathroom once too! except i had his dads porn and little did i know a page fell out and he found it and confronted me,and his eyes were full of a mix of embarrassment,rage,and disgust...needless to say lulz ensued.

MyDesertRose
01-02-2009, 09:56 AM
I remember when I was in grade 2 I had to do a **** at lunch time so I go into the toilet sit down and proceed taking a dump, so after i finished emptying my bowel I turned to where the toilet paper is supposed to be but there was none there. Being a kid I didn't care and I used my imagination so without taking my shoes off i pulled my long socks up and bent down as far as i could and wiped my ass with my socks but it began to be too difficult, so i did the next best thing and grabbed the back of my shirt and wiped with that. The bell rang and i walked back to my classroom and everyone was asking what that stuff was on my shirt and socks.. I told them it was vegemite and then a minute later my teacher arrives and then i get sent to administration and then sent home.

I wish i was as adventurous these days as when i was a kid.

Finnepinne
01-02-2009, 10:27 AM
I remember when I was in grade 2 I had to do a **** at lunch time so I go into the toilet sit down and proceed taking a dump, so after i finished emptying my bowel I turned to where the toilet paper is supposed to be but there was none there. Being a kid I didn't care and I used my imagination so without taking my shoes off i pulled my long socks up and bent down as far as i could and wiped my ass with my socks but it began to be too difficult, so i did the next best thing and grabbed the back of my shirt and wiped with that. The bell rang and i walked back to my classroom and everyone was asking what that stuff was on my shirt and socks.. I told them it was vegemite and then a minute later my teacher arrives and then i get sent to administration and then sent home.

I wish i was as adventurous these days as when i was a kid.


That made you horny? :confused:

PlayMadness
01-02-2009, 10:31 AM
That made you horny? :confused:
>.>

<.<

He had sex with the toilet.

MyDesertRose
01-02-2009, 10:50 AM
That made you horny? :confused:

I guess that wasn't really relative to the topic, i think I just got used to hearing so many piss and **** stories in this thread that i forgot about the topic and posted my own.

opc100
01-02-2009, 10:53 AM
me and this girl used to play with each others 'bits' :haha:




:D





:)






:(






:sad:

MyDesertRose
01-02-2009, 10:59 AM
There have been a few times with me and one of my mates back when we were 14 and desperate, we went on webcam to some chick and we were tossing to this chick on cam and we were literally centimetres away from eachother, then the chick on cam made us stand side by side and compare our members.

One of many crazy thing I got up to.

XCount Me InX
01-02-2009, 11:04 AM
Right up until I was 10 or 11, me and my friends would have contests to see who could wee the furthest in the school toilets. We'd stand about 10 feet away from the urinals and wee from there. The place always smelled of piss, unsurprisingly.

When I was around 7 or 8, we had a swimming lesson once a week at school. In the changing rooms we'd all jump around so our dicks and balls bounced all over the place, which we found hilarious. We'd also grab the end of our penises and pull them between our legs, then we'd either close them to make it look like a females bits, or leave them open so that a testicle would hang from either side, making it look like some sort of alien.

Another thing which has come to my mind, but isn't really "horny", is that I used to shit along my back street. It was hilarious when it got blamed on peoples dogs.

There was a girl in the year below me when I was around 7 or 8, who when asked to show you her fanny, would happily do so. Me and a friend made the mistake of asking her outside her house, with her mother watching through the window. We've never ran so fast.


this is one of the funniest things ive EVER read

AHAHAHA

Ancient Jello
01-02-2009, 05:12 PM
... And you didn't even know what it was it just felt good. but somehow you knew it was wrong

Only 'cause our parents and society brainwashed us when we were very young to think that anything do with our dicks or bums was disgusting, or at least, something to be ashamed about. :mad:

Finnepinne
01-02-2009, 05:15 PM
Two years ago I stood on my balcony and my neighbour was outside in her bikini grooming her plants and whatnot.

Needless to say I masturbated while watching her because that's how I roll.

Not very embarrassing, but still horny.

Machine Gun Cat
01-05-2009, 03:49 AM
When I was about 5 I once got a bottle of cough syrup, upended it onto the floor an then proceeded to slide around naked on the kitchen floor in the pool of medicine

jgbsmith
01-21-2009, 05:29 PM
when i was about 5 or 6 i slept over round this girls house and she sneaked into her parents room and took a book about of there drawer all about having sex so like we saw all the pictures and decided to copy what they were doing in it so we started snogging and she put her hand on my wang and started feeling it so she told i have to that to her so i like put my hand on her pussy we never got caught though then when it was time to go to bed we got the book out again and we were giving in each other a hand job in bed. And you know what the worst thing was we didnt even know what we were doing was that ... well inapropriote. now am 13 years old and i hate myself for not appreaciating that moment :( if only i could go back in time and relive so that i can actually know what i was doing and enjoy it ;)
so you want to go back in time to sex up a five year old? nice.

Dhmking
01-21-2009, 05:30 PM
well if i went back in time i would be 5 years old too so there i think mine is the post perverted of all posts

Lirarn
01-21-2009, 05:34 PM
im still 13 and the only thing i have to say is that i have learned a lot of things the past years.

DimebagJosho
01-21-2009, 05:36 PM
Me and some lass was throwing a ball around for her dog, so she bends down to take it from her mouth, and well... I ran over and I just started dry humping her from behind.

She didn't invite me out again.

Dhmking
01-23-2009, 12:56 PM
Me and some lass was throwing a ball around for her dog, so she bends down to take it from her mouth, and well... I ran over and I just started dry humping her from behind.

She didn't invite me out again.
lol

Dhmking
01-25-2009, 01:21 PM
that is just some messed up stuff

soccermom
01-25-2009, 01:33 PM
I used to dry hump a lot, thats all that comes to mind.

One of my friends admitted that when he was about ten, in P.E he would climb up and down the rope, letting his **** rub against the rope, he had no clue what he was doing,

andrew12398
01-25-2009, 01:35 PM
I remember this thread from when I pretty much just first started :p



Me and some lass was throwing a ball around for her dog, so she bends down to take it from her mouth, and well... I ran over and I just started dry humping her from behind.

She didn't invite me out again.

:haha

iiseddie
01-26-2009, 12:49 AM
Me and some lass was throwing a ball around for her dog, so she bends down to take it from her mouth, and well... I ran over and I just started dry humping her from behind.

She didn't invite me out again.


LOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!

Acϵ♠
01-26-2009, 01:06 AM
not so much when i was a kid, this only happened in June of 07...

it was my prom night. After much alcohol had been consumed at the afterparty (which was my whole class, all 450 of us, jamming out on 4 floors of college rooms), the women were getting frisky. Out of nowhere, this somewhat ugly girl with really nice tits grabbed me and literally dragged me into my hotel room's bathroom. She yanked down my pants and stared face to face with my whiskey dick. Man i couldn't get it up to save my life. I was drunk as ****, so was she, so the blowjob lasted 40 minutes and when i finally came, i was pissed at her for sucking such lousy dick so i didn't tell her and jizzed all over her face. I tried to pull my pants up, threw a loony into her bra, and stumbled out with my pants halfway to my knees.

A week ago she came out of the closet.

Danny7
01-26-2009, 01:09 AM
I assumed 'kids' meant 16 year olds (Only 3 years ago!), I really didnt prepare for that mental image, and no. I did not mean that like that.

...I got caught fingering a chubby chav in a leisure center when I was 12 if that counts?

iantheman
01-26-2009, 01:27 AM
I remember when I was little, I literally had a boner like 1/3rd of the time. I didnt even know what it was, until we got a little pamphlet in 4th grade. looking back it must have been really awkward for my babysitter to bathe me. I remember asking "why does it point up sometimes?" and the answer was "if you dont play with it, it won't do that" :haha

Lirarn
01-26-2009, 01:55 AM
I remember when I was little, I literally had a boner like 1/3rd of the time. I didnt even know what it was, until we got a little pamphlet in 4th grade. looking back it must have been really awkward for my babysitter to bathe me. I remember asking "why does it point up sometimes?" and the answer was "if you dont play with it, it won't do that" :haha
Pwahahahahahaha......ha.

Dhmking
01-26-2009, 04:05 PM
not so much when i was a kid, this only happened in June of 07...

it was my prom night. After much alcohol had been consumed at the afterparty (which was my whole class, all 450 of us, jamming out on 4 floors of college rooms), the women were getting frisky. Out of nowhere, this somewhat ugly girl with really nice tits grabbed me and literally dragged me into my hotel room's bathroom. She yanked down my pants and stared face to face with my whiskey dick. Man i couldn't get it up to save my life. I was drunk as ****, so was she, so the blowjob lasted 40 minutes and when i finally came, i was pissed at her for sucking such lousy dick so i didn't tell her and jizzed all over her face. I tried to pull my pants up, threw a loony into her bra, and stumbled out with my pants halfway to my knees.

A week ago she came out of the closet.
lol a 40 minute blowjob you lucky bastard :liplick:

chivesmcpoe
01-30-2009, 06:40 AM
Before I started puberty, I used to rub my glans penis with a sponge, which tickled immensely and made muscles in my back, stomach and legs contract without concious input. On one day in particular, I spent about an hour rubbing it against a sponge, which ended up making my penis very sore. I filled a jug with cold water and lowered my penis into it. That was the most satisfying feeling I'd ever felt.

dude, im so sigging that :)

The Gore Child
02-08-2009, 12:19 PM
Where are versians two and three of this thread? :P

davedoom
02-08-2009, 12:42 PM
Extremely funny thread.

KeepOnRotting
02-08-2009, 01:09 PM
.........oh my god you brought it back.

jgbsmith
02-08-2009, 01:13 PM
so, this thing's still alive eh?

I can't even remember what I posted... there's a lot it could have been >.<

*looks through thread to find own post*
edit: found it. ew.

Mechanixx
02-08-2009, 02:48 PM
I remember the first time I got off...
I was listening to that song "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls on my radio up in my loft bed (I was 10, loft bed gone) and imagining them "unbuttoning" themselves and touching each other......

Scared the crap out of me, I thought I like had to pee or something, but by the time I got to the bathroom, I didn have to anymore. I had heard of masturbation, and knew it was white and would show up in my black underwear, but I guess not lol.

Was about 2 months or a year later- I dunno if it was early spring or fall, I just remember my first time intentionally doing it in the winter when looking at some kind of porn. I was so excited for some reason, but couldn't figure out why I couldn't do it over again right away lol.

that would make you like 11, seeing as that song came about in 2007.

which leads me to think that you did this recently, at a lot higher age.

Kenny77
03-10-2009, 11:54 PM
back in the day i used to masturbate for hours straight and have multiple orgasms, one on top of the other. since i didn't cum any fluid no cleaning up needed. :D

somehow i suspect that is the root my problem i have nowindays. :sad:

OMG I miss those days. I used to pull off like 6 or seven one right after the other.

GoldfishMoon
04-10-2009, 08:32 PM
Not horny on my part, but messed up.

Me and my friends are doing doing a thing called the 40 hour film festival. (You have 48 hours to make a film, obviously) We were doing a practice before the actual weekend to iron out any problems in filming and editing, and get a feel for what we had to do. We had 2 cameras, mine and my friends. We started filming on my camera, but using my friends film, because he had lots. We had filmed about a minute worth of material and I decided to really quickly go through it to see how it was going before we did the next scene. I was watching it, all was good, what we had filmed ended, and what came up next shocked me. I closae up of a guy masterbating. I was like, HOLY ****!!!. I was trying to figure out why my dad would put this on the family camera, then a I remembered, this was my friends tape. I made sure that no one looked at the footage until at all, I kept making excuses like, it's almost out of battery, we'll watch it later and stuff like that. Then at night, we were watching it, me 6 friends, and the parents of the chicks house we were at.
I was terrified, but luckily, we had taped over ALL of it.

Wrst_Plyr_Evr
04-10-2009, 08:48 PM
One time I carefully carved a hole into a pear with an Xacto knife and lined the hole with peanut butter.

I then stuck the pear in a microwave for 30 seconds on HIGH and then let it coll down a little.



When it was nice and warm I started to FUCK THE LIVING PEARSHIT OUT OF IT.

It was all like, "YES SONATAFANICA! LOLWUT, LOLWUT!!!!!"





Well, not really, but there was a huge unexplainable mess for my parents when they got home.

dear, sweet, mother Mary this wins the whole ****ing thread!

:haha:haha:haha:haha

The_Bosstone
04-10-2009, 08:56 PM
One time this girl was giving me head, and I went too far in and hit her uvula and she puked all over me.

:(

Guns N' Motley
04-10-2009, 08:57 PM
Me and my sister used to show eachother our "private parts" when we were like, 7ish. I always had to explain that it wasnt normally hard, and at that age, I was always scared when I got hard, cuz I didnt know what was happening.

Also, anime porn.

ninnipinni93
04-10-2009, 08:57 PM
i remember when i was 5-6 years old me and my aunt played this game where i showed her my dick and she showed me her pussy, and this one time my dad walked in...

and i always remember the night of my first orgasm, i was 9-10 years old, watching law and order in bed and the episode was boring me to death. So i turned off the tv and started touching myself, after a few minutes i got this strange tinkly feeling wich i liked a lot.

-heartbreaker-
04-10-2009, 11:10 PM
This thread is a great glimpse into human behaviour.

I can relate.

RocksAwakening5
04-10-2009, 11:14 PM
:haha this thread is gold.

Karlboy
04-10-2009, 11:19 PM
Anyone ever pissed into an empty pop can then put it on a bonfire? It foams when it boils. It's quite the waste of time.

chrispfried
04-10-2009, 11:41 PM
:haha this thread is gold.

lol i bet it is for you, its bringing up bad memories for the rest of us :sad:

MercyfulFate505
04-10-2009, 11:46 PM
I mooned and flashed women I found attractive.

I was in the first grade...

IMABBALLPLAYER
04-10-2009, 11:48 PM
i remember when i was 5-6 years old me and my aunt played this game where i showed her my dick and she showed me her pussy, and this one time my dad walked in...

wat

Thrasher51
04-10-2009, 11:51 PM
^:haha

GODhimself37
04-10-2009, 11:56 PM
this thread is WIN :D :D :D

JungIe
04-11-2009, 12:41 AM
Where are versians two and three of this thread? :P
I thought I'd never have to say this to a non-TS but... SEARCHBAR.





Well here's one of my own. My older brother and older sister and I used to bathe together, and before the bath while we were naked, my brother and I used to strum our wangs like a guitar whilst singing "WEE WEE GUITAR! WEE WEE GUITAR!". My sister, well, she just had her "butt drum".

Then my brother started getting boners and it got awkward. We've never talked about it.

RPExecutor
04-11-2009, 12:47 AM
^ :haha :haha :haha

gunners fan
04-11-2009, 12:55 AM
I use to (& still do) make "houses" out of chairs and blankets and pillows, etc. and then sit inside and play with my twanger. Fun **** ;)

We all know that's what you ment! No? ok it's just me then is it?

gunners fan
04-11-2009, 01:14 AM
Well here's one of my own. My older brother and older sister and I used to bathe together, and before the bath while we were naked, my brother and I used to strum our wangs like a guitar whilst singing "WEE WEE GUITAR! WEE WEE GUITAR!". My sister, well, she just had her "butt drum".

Then my brother started getting boners and it got awkward. We've never talked about it.

http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x138/BDubzWargo/untitled-30.jpg

I nearly died of laughter!!

King Krapp
04-11-2009, 02:32 AM
When I was about 5 I once got a bottle of cough syrup, upended it onto the floor an then proceeded to slide around naked on the kitchen floor in the pool of medicine


um, WHAT?

theocao
04-11-2009, 02:36 AM
yall niggas gay...

fuzzboy
04-11-2009, 03:25 AM
I got kinda horny readying the guts story. :(

one tiem wen I was like 16, i got dis other boy to fart in my face, and den we went 2 his room and we peed on each other.

King Krapp
04-11-2009, 03:30 AM
yall niggas gay...
Y'all niggas racist...

ShestShestShest
04-11-2009, 03:33 AM
one time i was 5 or 6 and i was in the play ground and slid down one of those fire man poles . and i rubbed my dick against it and felt this amazing sensation. i proceeded to slide down that pole many more times that day. it was a rusty pole. lucky for me i had my tetanus shot.

i used to hump my grandmas couch while my entire family was in the other room having dinner (because they had the naughty channels and i didn't know about masturbation back then)

oh and when i first saw sex on tv i showed decided to tell my best friend about it by building one of those Chair and blanket houses and then we took a big stuffed alligator into it and gang banged it. then his mom walked in to bring us cookies and we had a long long talk.

Oroborous
04-11-2009, 03:34 AM
I used to like the jacuzzi jets on my butt

felt good. til i caught caught by my aunt

tatotato
04-11-2009, 03:47 AM
Ages ago.. stuck my dong in a bottle, got hard, got stuck :(

That's about all really.

King Krapp
04-11-2009, 03:49 AM
I used to like the jacuzzi jets on my butt

felt good. til i caught caught by my aunt

Chuck Pacinhukcuk-uc much?

CliffIsAngry
04-11-2009, 05:31 AM
we used to play a game on pc where robots beat the living **** out of each other. We would sit and wank WHILE playing that game with one hand. we couldnt ejaculate so it was all good.

fuzzboy
04-11-2009, 05:28 PM
I Masterbaited Once At A Funeral But It Was Ok Cuz I Didnt Get Caught

Then One Time I Rubbed **** All Over My Balls And Den I Tasted It.

Punk_Savage
04-11-2009, 05:56 PM
Damn a lot of these things here I used to do too when I was 5 or so.
Haha a man.......this thread is just 'effin hilerious XD

RinestoneCowboy
04-11-2009, 05:57 PM
I sucked my own ****.

FakeTalesOfSan
04-11-2009, 06:46 PM
I remember when I was around 4 or 6 or so me and my brother had this babysitter that was horny in a I-Hope-No-One-Ever-Finds-Out way. She used to bring each of us into my spare guest room, get completely naked and get us to feel her, no word of a lie.

We've since moved away from that town but still it was pretty ****ed to think back on those few times it happened.

murray44
04-11-2009, 06:53 PM
I Masterbaited Once At A Funeral But It Was Ok Cuz I Didnt Get Caught

Then One Time I Rubbed **** All Over My Balls And Den I Tasted It.
Do you have to capitalize every word?
It Makes It Very Annoying To Read.

RinestoneCowboy
04-11-2009, 07:01 PM
Damn, you're right.


This

is way different and way more distracting than

this

Ndelle94
04-11-2009, 07:08 PM
When me and the boys were little we used to kick over fire hydrants and step on cats...













Just Joking

FelixJZ
04-11-2009, 07:22 PM
I remember when I was around 4 or 6 or so me and my brother had this babysitter that was horny in a I-Hope-No-One-Ever-Finds-Out way. She used to bring each of us into my spare guest room, get completely naked and get us to feel her, no word of a lie.

We've since moved away from that town but still it was pretty ****ed to think back on those few times it happened.


...




WHAT THE ****

Ndelle94
04-11-2009, 07:23 PM
Than when I was 10, I was in ths shower feeling my ballsack than I got hard, and I started to masturbate. I didn't cum until I was 11 though,

I find it hard to believe you were in the shower touching your dick for a full year...