Grand Competition-Round 2B


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xArCaDiAx
08-14-2006, 11:40 PM
POLL ENDS ON THURSDAY, AUGUST 17. TOP 2 MOVE ON...BUT YOU ONLY HAVE 1 VOTE, SO PLEASE VOTE AND CHOOSE WISELY ;)



Mystery Of The 20th Century

Moonlight reflections upon a serene flowing stream
Aided by the landscape, which forms an illuminescent view
Shining so bright the ground's hue turns from dark to a light green
So many claim to see this, but its noticeable only to a select few

And the riverside creatures all gather to gaze at this show
While the artist sits aside on the bank perfecting the scene, pallete in hand
The tranquility is interrupted by the caw of a crow
Which is how this whole mystery assumed to begin

Notice the tomb flowing down the riverside creek
Portrayed elegantly by the shadows enbedded in the dust
As the whispers slip by, so sleek and discreet
They support the destruction of this encirclement of trust

But the artist rendition of the perfection of water has to be fake
Because water is a mystery, put something in it and it breaks

VS.

If I Could

I could drive us down to Yarmouth for the weekend
in my tired Toyota and hope we don't get pulled over
for moving too fast down wary lengths of highway.
We could watch the twilight burst lustrous beginnings
as the fire in the sky cauterizes July alive
on the threshold of summer and everything after.
You could lay by my side on Bay View Beach late at night
and effortlessly count the stars you could care less about.
I could covet you with a smile,
and have you at the same time.

And as the rain descends as moonlit embers
I don't think I've ever seen the rain so . . .
I don't think I've ever seen the rain so beautiful.

Staring up, you could tell me about Harvard and Yale.
I could ask you which one is closer to where I am,
and you could crack a smile beautiful enough to
crack a heart that could never have you more than once.
I could tell you I've spent sleepless nights dreaming of you,
or I could get high just from the look in your eyes,
and you could drive me home.

VS.

The Teenage Boy Missing His Girl In A Land Where Chicks Play Topless On The Sands

Above the camamile askew and
Cloud covered stew of
Flowing color and off-white aspiration
Flys a ghost on a wingtip,
Preeching to the anti-deluvian
Night and stars due north
Of the cockpit.

"I remember when my
Dreams were in her
Eyes, while hers clutched
To mine, pupils attached with
Perfection in-between us. And
I remember when I twirled
Her curly hair in
Between my fingers
Creating patterns
I couldnt put to words;
And I sang phrases that
No one could ever understand
But she nodded along anyway every time:
Always nodding.
Always smiling.
Always nodding.

But now,
Now I put to words,
What I couldnt ever before,
Raw emotion mulled over
on the milky undead floor:

Oh Maiya, now
Find me and besame, my child,
And I'll take you from the wilds
Of the world,
And hold you in a spirit's loving clasp,
And I only ask that you stay with me,
Here in etheral arms
And besame,
Just so I know that your not an apparition;
And I'm not just looking
At a fading mirror memory.

So please find me and besame
And I'll hold you with etherality,
Floating through the thinnest
Midnight air, over a suicide brigade
To a sunset.
And I will ****ing hold you fast
With as much strength as I can muster
And will hope that some things
Sometime last, and
Maybe this time the morning
Wont try to remedy this bliss
...Just one kiss... Just one kiss...
Just one kiss..."

And he melts into the moonlit sunlight
Coughing tears into the burning clouds
And he just wants to
Touch sweet Maiya
Whose:

Always nodding.
Always nodding.
Always nodding.
Always.
But he's still gone
And his words will never pierce her ears nor heart.

VS.

Inside A Carnival

the snow covered the streets like pavement on the canopies. or maybe it was the other way around. a bird perched on a telephone wire struck up a conversation with a man without a mouth. so they shared a beak, and I heard the man speak. he said 'no i dont know anymore, if i could talk id listen if i could listen id talk. just not the other way around.' and the birds wings stretched out, like a picture on a wall, and he blocked the sun from the sky. and the light disolved into carpets and rugs, and with every step we took our feet lit up. oh magical soil, would you make my flowers grow? cause the weather is freezing and when i speak i see my words spelt out in front of me. and the blind man places his fingers upon them, with bumps for braille, he just repeats everything I say. after years of trying to get him to talk, well now he won't stop.
isn't it just funny how some things go? as the bombs begin to settle and the dust rises up through the floor. we all say aloud.
'id like to live alone. did you hear me? i said id like to live alone.'

#1 synth
08-14-2006, 11:56 PM
I really wanna see Nelson vs. Pooch in the final but I think I'll stay undecided here for now as they're all pretty good pieces.

Jammydude44
08-15-2006, 05:23 AM
That could potentially get us nowhere synth :P

I voted first one.

Retribution
08-15-2006, 10:17 AM
AH

I can't choose between first and fourth.

Edit: Second is great too. Third is too, but not quite as good as the first...

I'm refraining from voting for now.

Edit Edit: Uh, I think someone changed the order? If not I was reading the second one as the first. haha.

Southern_Belle
08-17-2006, 12:06 AM
i voted for #1, it's a little short but i think its the best.

i just signed up a minute ago, this seems like the coolest forum on the internet, geeks with guitars!

Retribution
08-17-2006, 07:02 PM
I voted Fourth.

But the second and third are also excellent. First is good too.

To the author of the fourth though: Use some capitalization. I think that was part of the novelty for it too though, so maybe you shouldn't. haha.

#1 synth
08-18-2006, 01:00 AM
hehe, fair enough Arcadia, I learned my lesson :p: I'm sorry.

xArCaDiAx
08-18-2006, 01:28 AM
Haha. I didnt even realize you voted for yourself until I just looked ;).

To be honest, it was tough choosing between yours and Matt's (FOB) pieces. I just like his a little bit better than your's though, which is why I put my vote there. Haha. Don't worry.....there's always next season?

:p:


Final Round up tomorrow. Best of luck.

#1 synth
08-18-2006, 01:39 AM
... stupid concious *smacks forehead* :p:

nah, my piece sucked, I actually hate it, its a wonder how I made it to the second round :p:

Good luck to Nelson, Matt, Pooch, and whoever else is in the last round!

:cheers: