PTB Metalcore stuffuhz


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ouchies
10-12-2006, 02:57 PM
its not done yet and its a bit sketchy.


now that i think about it the intro riff sounds a lot like "like yesterday" from Misery Signals.


Its not finished either, i have no idea what to do T _ T


and that last riff i like a lot but i have no idea how to fit it in without it being too blunt and in your face.


edit: put new interlude in and stuff.

onebetter
10-12-2006, 05:00 PM
i liked it, sounded alot like killswitch engage, and the chorus was really catchy. keep up the good work

Spark1284
10-12-2006, 05:39 PM
the last two riffs are pretty damn sick, the rest is pretty good. i think metalcore is really unoriginal to begin with, but i like ur take

ouchies
10-13-2006, 03:00 PM
Thanks, do you think that transition into the last riff was too like, "rough", or whatever?

And also what do you think should come next? just repeat the chorus or something?

ouchies
10-15-2006, 01:32 AM
why do i have over 40 views and only 2 comments?


*feels cheated*

HumanitysDeath
10-16-2006, 06:06 PM
very good intro. very catchy. i liked this a lot.

the next couple parts, up to staff 17 sound okay. the 8 repeats of open-note palm muting gets annoying.

that next part sounds really good. i like that a lot.

again, like that intro riff. sounds really good.

after that. it takes a weird turn.
it sounds good, but almost sounds out of place for the song.
yet, at the same time, it sounds like it would work really, really well.

i like what you have.
if anything, i'd add more. it seemed really short.

Spark1284
10-16-2006, 06:48 PM
that palm muted 200 in bar nine and the weird harmonization in bar 19 with the 557 and the f and the g sharp chords are just disgusting. and u have no transition errors, its a big jump from mellow stuff to the heavy stuff, but thats cuz ones mellow and the others heavy, i think it works tho

i think a clean interlude would be awesome, but not a melodic clean interlude like the rest of the world, sumthing dark and creepy sounding with crazy evil sounding harmonizing and yeah i think itd be cool

MOOSE ATTACK!!!
10-17-2006, 12:55 AM
I'm not one for metalcore based on high power chords, but this was pretty good in some spots. Those last riffs did not really fit though, try them in another song.

Fatt Sorum
10-17-2006, 02:23 AM
some of your intervals didn't sound like they fitted, i didn't really like this song. something for you to work on would be the rythym in bars like bar 2, maybe a bass backing or something so it doesn't sound so dijointed.

crit mine? (in sig)

ouchies
10-18-2006, 06:05 PM
i changed it a bit, i added the file up at the first post. its randomly called "smeagle" now, because i have to many untitled songs.



its kind of wierd, but i need a suggestion. the riff after the clean part (which is pretty crappy), should it repeat the chorus, go into that 2nd breakdown and then go to that new riff, go from the clean part, to that new riff, to the 2nd breakdown, to the chorus?

im sorry im asking these things, i have a really big problem with structuring songs and such. hehe

HumanitysDeath
10-18-2006, 06:47 PM
I love the new clean part. It sounded great.

I dont like the outro though. That's pretty lame and boring, to be honest.

I say keep the part after the clean interlude. It sounds good, and is placed well.
But instead of the outro you have, maybe end with the chorus lines again.
I think that would sound pretty good.

Also
Would you mind taking a look at my latest?
There's a link in my sig.
Much appreciated.

onebetter
10-20-2006, 03:38 PM
i really liked the new interlude, it was different, but not so much so that it ruined the song, and the little melody of it was well done, the only thing i still dont like is the part in the chorus with both guitars the same chord with accents on every couple notes, it sounds weird, but its only 1 bar, not hard to change, and i dont like the ending very much, it sounds kind of off beat and all of a sudden. other than that, great song, you might want to repeat the chorus or something for the ending. Get a band together and learn this, it would sound awesome with drums and bass and stuff. good work