[GP]C4C - The Ashes of Poetry


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WlCmToTheJungle
10-15-2006, 12:45 PM
wrote this last night, heres the lyrics,



You thought that it was just the dust,
That was blown off of the ashes from
Embers that sat ignited, in my backyard
Your eyes concide in apathy
The tears your crying quietly
Im a fool for foolish things
But Im not a fool for everything

You thought that you were just the clouds,
That brought the rain down to the ground
With whispers as tears, rolling, down you cheek
But your beautiful to say the least,

Look at this reflection in the water,
Wash the dust from your eyes, so u can see
The words I say to you are always faltered
But I am ready to say what I beleive
Your beautiful to say the least
Your beautiful to say the least

Asthetic ash from poetry,
I set fire to it's identity
"cause a blue-inked pen could never give me warmth

Look at this reflection in the water,
Wash the dust from your eyes, so u can see
The words I say to you are always faltered
But I am ready to say what I beleive
Your beautiful to say the least
Your beautiful to say the least

The thunder struck and the storm rolled in
The fire blew out, lit the match again
The poetry is toxic to the flame
But your smiles guides me through the rain

And the dust was washed away

nexteyenate
10-15-2006, 01:28 PM
that was very relaxing and calm. i had a lot of fun soloing over it. the chord progression was a little boring but if it was made to have lyrics over it (it obviously was) then it wouldnt be boring if the vocals were in it. great job. if you want to crit mine, they're in my sig.

Snipy
10-15-2006, 01:58 PM
^ agree
and I really like the lyric aswell.
Crit mine? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=449960

irishmatt1992
10-15-2006, 02:14 PM
i like it a lot

WlCmToTheJungle
10-15-2006, 02:20 PM
thanks, and i probably will record it tomarrow (im off school and i have nothing better to do) so youll see what its gonna sound like

EDIT: actually i can put in a melody line right now if anyone is interested

culex-knight
10-15-2006, 02:23 PM
It's very relaxing, would definitely be amazing with vocals.

~DrEaM ThEaTeR~
10-15-2006, 07:50 PM
very chill. nice job. crit mine?my song (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=444234)

WlCmToTheJungle
10-15-2006, 08:54 PM
you know these crits arent even worth my time to return, i mean cmon, not to be an ass but saying "nice job" isnt a crit

nexteyenate
10-15-2006, 09:26 PM
was my crit good enough?

RedDeath9
10-15-2006, 10:28 PM
Hm, that was really good. Would be even better with lyrics over it. But there are a few things I would change. In the rhodes paino intro, when it plays B on the E, and B again on the B string, it doesn't really sound that great. It was kind of weird, I would change something there. The string ensemble was really well done. Well, better than I could've done. The chord progression was kind of boring after listening to it a lot, you should change it during the chorus or something... But still, with lyrics over it, maybe it wouldn't seem boring. Yeah overall probably a 7.3/10.

Crit mine? Hold on I'll get the links...

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=436146

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=445715

WlCmToTheJungle
10-16-2006, 05:03 PM
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=450548 i put the recording up with the vocals