Untitled Rock/Metal song [PTB]


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MOOSE ATTACK!!!
10-17-2006, 12:07 AM
I've been making this song for a while. I guess it is somewhat metalcorish. It is around five minutes long.

Any suggestions would be helpful.

(Scroll down for newer version)

KaMoRa
10-17-2006, 11:45 AM
the only think i really liked was the main riff, but the rest wasnt good. I play metalcore stuff myself, so I can tell you that you should learn a bit more and give it your own spin, because to many people have the same style.

ouchies
10-17-2006, 03:01 PM
It was alright. I think where the rhythm guitar played only open on the low e string, you should have played a power chord to give it a little thicker. I liked your main riff the most


Crit mine?

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=448390


edit: i totally didnt see that you critted mine already, haha sorry.

cool#9
10-17-2006, 04:51 PM
meh, i'm not into metal and metalcore that much, so i think it was pretty repetitive, and that 8 minutes is way over-using each riff, maybe thats just me though

Spark1284
10-17-2006, 05:38 PM
u have some really good riffs in there, when u try putting them together it gets messy, and try hitting "j" in bars that have huge gaps and stuff to justify it out. the metalcore is gay like all metalcore and it makes ur riffs sound less cool than they are. just keep writing and i really think itll all start comming together. oh yeahh dont just put rhythm part of the solo, either wrote the solo or dont, no matter how bad it might sound, u cant get good at it if u dont try it

l3fty_g3n1u5_89
10-17-2006, 09:15 PM
really like the main rifft
the whole song was just like metalica

MOOSE ATTACK!!!
01-04-2007, 02:04 AM
u have some really good riffs in there, when u try putting them together it gets messy, and try hitting "j" in bars that have huge gaps and stuff to justify it out. the metalcore is gay like all metalcore and it makes ur riffs sound less cool than they are. just keep writing and i really think itll all start comming together. oh yeahh dont just put rhythm part of the solo, either wrote the solo or dont, no matter how bad it might sound, u cant get good at it if u dont try it
I don't understand the metalcore making my riffs sound worse. What does that even mean? I liked your tips on the solo though, I may just leave one out.

onebetter
01-04-2007, 04:44 PM
i can't say this was a very good song. The main riff was good and the arpeggios in the intro weren't bad, but the chorus was really bland and I think you overused the perfect 4ths, because in a chorus like you have which sets up melody, too much dissonance is bad. The breakdowns are really what killed the song for me. The first one was bad, and the second was wasn't much better. I think you should probably take the decent riffs from the song and start from scratch. And, 8 minutes is ridiculous when it could have been half that length and sounded exactly the same.

Spark1284
01-04-2007, 06:23 PM
alot of people will hear a metlacore cord progression and just sign the whole song away as crap. basically metalcore is dead and has been overplayed and if ur not gonna right a riff thats original then dont bother at all. oh yeah and ur changes in the tempo of the song are painful. its pretty hard to change the speed of a song and make it sound good unless its double time or half time or sumthing. just randomly messing with the bpm isnt such a great idea, it stands out and sounds less than satisfactory

MOOSE ATTACK!!!
01-06-2007, 08:01 PM
I made many changes to the song, so I would like to hear your input on this now.

Masochist_Lust
01-09-2007, 07:06 PM
I really, really liked it. I thought the harmonizing was awesome, and the chorus I think it was, even though it was really simple. There was a H/P part near the end that I think was too fast to sound good, but overall, it was awesome.

--Masochist Lust

Msu_Man04
01-09-2007, 08:45 PM
I freaking love this! The main riff is so simple, and yet so great. I love it.