Fate_of_Mind vs Dæmönika


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Dæmönika
11-08-2006, 06:00 AM
1 point.

Dream World

Clouds painted into the starry night sky
Moonlit trees sway from side to side
Startled by man, reanimated is the flock
Forcing dreary eyes to reevaluate the clock

Stumbling past furniture, stopping to pant
Raising to see cloned hallways, now on a slant
I make a random choice, to find nothing but wall
Turning and stepping, I penetrate the adjacent hall

On the right, I am welcomed by an open door
Of which I tumble into, to collapse on the floor
Slithering up the cedar, I await joyous dreams
Visions of love and all that she means

The aged mattress absorbs me like quicksand
Sheltering me as I leave for fantasy and Candyland
Eyes fluttering and slowing, as if weighed down with barbells
Eagerly anticipating the tale that only time tells

Slumber warps my spirit into an otherworldly realm
A land of gumdrop mountains and chocolate covered elm
A path of eternal gummy-bear stairways
And a face that always takes my breath away

Though it may not be real
The importance is the love I feel
A forever together in but one night
Until I may have the factual being in sight

Sunlight glitters my world of sleep
As a theme of infatuation is what it keeps
I wish that this could be my everyday
In hoping perpetuality, I say:

“Stay with me in this dusk
For reasons of affection, you must
Bring your lips to mine
And we may become lost in time”

My eyes open to slits of sunshine
The kiss fades to nothing but discarded sublime
Now this world has burnt down in vain
Until I may see you again

The Ballad of the Rothiebrisbane Man and His Unnerved Neighbours

The Rothiebrisbane man dreams of living in the castle
Free of worry and of life's little hassles
He wants to wear a suit of the darkest black
And force himself to admit he's never turning back

And the stones of Efivy grow colder by the day
Holding wicked whispers and keeping good knights at bay
And the vicar holds his cross, pointing to the sky
He decrees that at this spot no man shall ever die

The black dog chases shadows as the Rothiebrisbane man draws near
The dog looks up startled, before cowering in the corner in fear
Meanwhile the knave is counting the King's money all alone
"It will rain, I know it," as he glances at the closing pine cone

The fisherman in the Ythan looks up at the castle and frowns
The castle's dark and the distant hills look a sickly brown
Dahod reels in his line and packs up for the journey home
But before he forgets he gathers Duncan's broken stone

The Rothiebrisbane man dreams of living in the castle
Free of worry and of life's many hassles
But the three wise men of Mither Tap cast their shadows upon the land
The vicar in the chapel knows his dreams are much too grand

ghettobassist92
11-08-2006, 06:40 AM
songs tend not 2 use inversals (Startled by man, reanimated is the flock) but otherwise it's an amazing song, the lyrics are great... keep writing

Jammydude44
11-08-2006, 12:37 PM
^ What?

Umm... Green.

Jamie

#1 synth
11-08-2006, 02:18 PM
through a use of the grounded ideas of love and the city contrasted to the rapidly shifting tense and tone, that the narrator of “Once I Pass’d through a Populous City” actually embraces his abrasive past and attempts to preserve it in his mind.

...
...
...

Green.

Dæmönika
11-10-2006, 06:02 PM
More votes, if you will. Much appreciated.

Fate_of_Mind
11-12-2006, 09:37 PM
^ What?

That's what I thought when I first read that :confused:

DanteR*
11-12-2006, 09:42 PM
Emerald

#1 synth
11-12-2006, 09:49 PM
[COLOR=Green][U] NOT EMERALD [COLOR=Green][U] NOT EMERALD!!!!!!!!!!!

Final
11-13-2006, 02:34 AM
I don't care much for either.

But first one.