Phoebus --vs-- Jammy


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Phoebus
11-14-2006, 02:53 PM
1pt, 5 days

The Keeper of the Valley Green

I stood inside the valley green
While all around the twilight glowed
With flares lit up by fireflies
Cast ruddy bloody shady-ows

Through the whimsy dimmy night
Wandering with no light, i seen
An old man came a-traipsing by
Stumbled into the valley green

"What luck" says I, the grinning fox
At the sort of luck that ne'er I seen
To see the man I trapped for days
Come wandering by the valley green

I sat on my rocky mountain ledge
To overlook the valley green
A thousand poles, a thousand heads
Two thousand eyes watch the valley green


OR

She's Out of It


I don't know why it's always the wine that flows out of her eyes
I know I can't complain when every time I see her is the same
It's all quite beautiful when I kiss her neck and she moans so softly
Soft as her silky skin and smoother than the trouble we're both in

I bet she don't know my name
My part is never the same
Not always the right guy
She can't remember why
She always does it

Music not the ringtones mute the sounds coming from around here
I doesn't make the room shake though it helps along the vibrate
It's all quite beautiful when I kiss her neck and she moans so softly
Soft as her silky skin and smoother than the trouble we're both in

I bet she don't know my name
My part is never the same
Not always the right guy
She can't remember why
She always does it

And I bet she don't know my name
From the guy the night before
Just another notch on her door frame
This isn't what I phoned her for
And I bet she don't know my favourite film
She doesn't know what those little things mean

I bet she don't know my name
I reckon she's only got a few seconds
A few minutes before
She collapses on the floor
It's not always the same
The fool's drunk on passion
I can't quite understand
Why she still can't stand

Dmnika
11-14-2006, 03:21 PM
Blue. I remember critting it. Jamie's isn't bad but not quite the same for me.

Final
11-14-2006, 04:59 PM
First.

streetcarp19
11-14-2006, 05:07 PM
First, even though I am not crazy about either.

Phoebus
11-16-2006, 10:13 PM
bitches vote

LOOKtheskyfell!
11-18-2006, 05:56 PM
blue