Streetcarp19 vs. PunchUpAtATigger #2!


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punchupatatigge
11-16-2006, 10:36 PM
Through Sun Roofs, We Smile at Satellites
Hurry, duck down in the burn,
it’s bouncing off the hills and these cliffs.
You couldn’t hit the radio hard enough
to get what you wanted on the telly.
You hope this news station will learn that people will cry,
even if they are just using crash-test dummies.
They can always skip through the skidding
while pushing rewind,
bringing it back to a time and place
where everything is just fine.
Through the sun-roof,
you smile at me for a satellite picture,
while they crop all the ones they got of the top of your head,
and then splice them to the middle.

Duck down in the burn,
behind that mossy stump,
the one you grew up next to;
hitting stones with sticks as a kid,
throwing beer cans during kegers,
sometimes with family,
all of the time with friends.
Getting the guts to tell the love of your life that you like her,
then seeing the world flash in front of your eyes
in time to witness your first born graduate high school.
And all this time,
you thought that was your private place,
where you’d build a house if you could,
or have them spread your ashes
from your grandma’s antique vase.

And I would too, if I could.
I remember I almost broke that vase before they took me away.
Because I am not really dead, my son,
though I've seen you grow into the person
that I wish I always could’ve.






Contemplations of the Mortician
I wonder.

What if he was not born an orphan? Would he realize his lone iris caught in a dead forest in the life of winter?


He had a life once - a rotten apple core, rather - as a delivery boy for a Memphis liquor store. He delivered to a prominent business executive who never invited him in and rushed him off. He could not help the curiosity, though his mind willed him against it. Five minutes later, a rotten core was thrown through the door. She cried the executive's name with desperate hate. The biodegrading executive sees him and attacks.
"Why am I fighting?"
"I can't hurt another life."
He succumbed, and he ran.

Chemistry demanded that he feel it.


He had a love once - an infatuation, rather - with a suicidal girl from Chelsea. He could not help the attraction, though his mind willed him against her.
"Are you doing anything tonight, honey?"
"I have plans for no plans, tangerine."
He succumbed, and he ran.

Chemistry demanded that he feel it.


The girl from Chelsea, she ran too. The rotten core, she ran too. They all fell from the same tree, and soon enough they converged.

Chemistry won.


He is a mortician for a funeral home in Chelsea.

He narrates his own life.
That way he'll never have to run again.

Final
11-17-2006, 03:48 AM
Second, for sure. It's more of the style I love.

punchupatatigge
11-17-2006, 05:26 PM
Sorry, I think you might have been confused. The second one is Red, the first one is green... if you accidentally voted for Green Jammy and Final when you meant to vote for the second one, then I'll take that into account. Sorry about the confusion.

Otherwise, you said you liked red, but you voted green.

The Hurt Within
11-17-2006, 06:14 PM
Sigh ^

Should put the song titles in the poll too....

Just swap the pieces over??

Anyway Im going for green this time, red I felt stumbled along to much. Where as although green was kinda repetative it kept me throughout.

punchupatatigge
11-17-2006, 06:59 PM
Yeah, sorry about that. Titles were too long, hehe. Swapped em now.

streetcarp19
11-17-2006, 09:04 PM
Yeah Tigg, I'll pm them to see exactly who they were voting for to eliminate the confusion.

Jammydude44
11-18-2006, 01:29 PM
I meant to vote for Through sunroofs :D

Jamie

Final
11-19-2006, 05:11 AM
I voted for "Contemplations..etc".

punchupatatigge
11-19-2006, 11:15 AM
Alright, so I'll just keep track that Jammy actually was voting for red.

Sorry for the confusion.

punchupatatigge
11-20-2006, 08:32 PM
More votes please! Ends in two hours.

punchupatatigge
11-20-2006, 10:44 PM
Its over =\ Not many votes this time... Oh well. Final score was 3-2, including Jammy's. Let me know if you ever want to go again, I'm actually working on a literal prose right now =P