n00b's metal intro (GP5)

[heartofblacknes]

Hey guys, just made a little intro to a metalish song and some feedback is appreciated.
This is the first time ive ever written anything so be nice and i know it sounds a little cliche. My main inspirations are Metallica, Megadeth and Iron Maiden.

cheers.

[ShadowintheSun]

bish, bash, bosh, the end. U really need to add more to it. It's not bad but i can't crit it properly until u've expanded on it.