The Getting Hit in the Balls Stories Thread


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halfback_712
11-24-2006, 09:04 PM
Tell your stories about when you got hit in the balls the hardest and most painfully or when you did something to hit someone else in the balls.

Heres mine:

I was at my friends house and this one kid was there that i kinda new but i wasn't really good friends with him. He was practicing his golf in the back yard. When i arrived, I saw that he was golfing so i stood out of the way. He was trying to perform a flop shot, (whatever that is, I don't golf) and he hit it funny. It normally woulnd't have came my direction but it his the club at a weird spot. A golf ball comes hurling at me easily 80 miles per hour. It hits me dead on the money. I was on the ground for 15 minutes and my friends were in a laughing fit. My dick red and tender when i checked to make sure everything was ok.

bimsterfls
11-24-2006, 09:07 PM
well, I don't have any interesting stories, but I do like your sig; I'm a wrestler too.

acoustic-fish
11-24-2006, 09:08 PM
my friend threw a bowling ball at me when i was on his trampoline, and it bounced just underneath me as i was coming down... i couldnt move for about 5 minutes :o

SeveralSpecies
11-24-2006, 09:08 PM
lmao he didnt hit a good flop shot then,




i was playin football (the kind where you use your feet) and im a goalkeeper so you would expect i get hit there all the time. Well this time was another poor fellow. I punted the ball sky-high and one of the guys on the other team tries to, ya know, head the ball. Well he missjudged the ball and it came down straight on his crotch.

I guess he got his head on it after all.

Oblivious16037
11-24-2006, 09:09 PM
This kid I know got shot it the tip of the dick with an airsoft gun from like 5 feet off. I wasn't there but it was supposed to be hilarious.

Jonjy2
11-24-2006, 09:09 PM
Lol!!

Umm, A long time ago when i was like 10, which was probably before I aprecciated the pain of hurtin your balls. Anyways, I was trying to jump over a fence and I tripped and fell (feet first) onto a post that was stickin out of the ground. And I landed on i just right, (right on the money as you would put it) and that was probably the worst time i ever heard my balls. Although there are other times, that one was the one i remember best..lol

Dirge Humani
11-24-2006, 09:11 PM
My friends were playing baseball (kinda). They pitch across the street, and a wall is the strike zone. Well, I'm up on the wall, being umpire and getting any stray pitches. The person at bat hits a line drive, it hits a friend in the nads. He gets pissed, and throws it at my friend. He dodged. I didn't. If you ever watch baseball, I was kinda crouching like the catchers do. The ball hit me square in the nuts.

Was the most hilarious thing ever, except for the hurting.

Axis Of Evil
11-24-2006, 09:12 PM
I was at school and it's lunch. I walk up to my friend just as he finished saying to someone else "That can get people hurt." He noticed me walk up and said "Like this!" before hitting me in the balls. About 20 seconds later, someone else came up to me and got me again as I was recovering.

I ALMOST hit someone in the balls with a bowling ball once. It missed by a few inches.

heaven's gate
11-24-2006, 09:12 PM
i was kicked in the balls by my sister for some reason


i heard a story of a guy hiding a b.b gun down his pants from the cops, and when he was pulling it out, the sight got caught on his sack and it ripped open

Eric 666
11-24-2006, 09:14 PM
Softball + Me Being 6 Years Old + Balls + 16 Year Old Frustrated Softball Player + Me Being In The Way = One Hell Of An Afternoon.

halfback_712
11-24-2006, 09:18 PM
bump

lol

matchbox
11-24-2006, 09:19 PM
i got into an arguement with someone a few years back during a baseball game....

Only got one left now :(

Greenfinger182
11-24-2006, 09:20 PM
lmao he didnt hit a good flop shot then,




i was playin football (the kind where you use your feet) and im a goalkeeper so you would expect i get hit there all the time. Well this time was another poor fellow. I punted the ball sky-high and one of the guys on the other team tries to, ya know, head the ball. Well he missjudged the ball and it came down straight on his crotch.

I guess he got his head on it after all.
Oh **** I got hit even worse while I was goalkeeping once. There was a struggle for the ball near my net (this was in high school, so they could get as close to me as they wanted), and this one kid tried kicking it in real ****ing hard while I was standing right in front of him. So, first the ball hit me square on the nuts, and then it was followed closely by his foot, hitting me once again right on the money. I was sitting for the rest of the class.

tommyt
11-24-2006, 09:20 PM
me and a mate of mine were at a house party and a load of us were sitting round on some sofa's, my mate goes to walk out the door to the kitchen and get another drink and this random girl who we had just met just full on punched him in the balls

good times

halfback_712
11-24-2006, 09:20 PM
i got into an arguement with someone a few years back during a baseball game....

Only got one left now :(

do tell

kse5440
11-24-2006, 09:21 PM
one time i was having practice with just my drummer and he was going into an insane five minute solo. i was providing a basic rhythm for it on my bass and all of a sudden he throws his sticks directly between my legs. it hurt to stand up for a few minutes.

halfback_712
11-24-2006, 09:23 PM
i hate it when your standing next to someone then all the sudden you hear "BALL TAP!"

matchbox
11-24-2006, 09:25 PM
do tell

well basically it involves harsh words, a bat and the painful area between my legs...


work the rest out

astepabove
11-24-2006, 09:25 PM
i dont have any good stories of myself getting hit in the balls, but i have a good story of my friend (in this story, known as "perv") getting hit in the balls.


We were walking past the middle school one day when the high school was closed b/c of finals. He saw these 8th graders that he thought were "hot" so he went over to them and started hitting on them. One of the girls was the sister of another kid we were with. so, i came up with the idea to play a little prank on Perv. i told my friend to text his sister to start kicking perv's ass. I had my video phone at the ready. His sister mistook it for "kick him in the balls 20 times" and did just that. I recorded the whole thing. The poor boy cried. We nearly had to drag him home.

Good times.

Slinov
11-24-2006, 09:26 PM
probs the worst one i say was during a school sports day on the hurdles, the guy didt judge it properly and one leg caught it on the back, the hurdle came shooting up and nearly cut him in half, how we did laugh

some_guy
11-24-2006, 09:26 PM
i hate it when your standing next to someone then all the sudden you hear "BALL TAP!"

we call it BANG-KOCK

anyway i playing basketball and i was owning this guy playing rough and pushing him heaps so he gets pissed and chucks the basket ball at my balls....i still feel the pain

matchbox
11-24-2006, 09:27 PM
anyway i playing basketball and i was owning this guy playing rough and pushing him heaps so he gets pissed and chucks the basket ball at my balls....i still feel the pain

that was your own fault really

some_guy
11-24-2006, 09:29 PM
that was your own fault really

it was just a bit of fun at lunch time and he should of thrown it at my head or stomach not the balls

Kid_Thorazine
11-24-2006, 09:35 PM
i hate it when your standing next to someone then all the sudden you hear "BALL TAP!"

yeah morons liked to do that in the showers back when i was in highschool, one time some dude was stupid enough to do that to me, so about a minute later when he wasnt prepared i snapped a wet towel right a his balls, then he fell to the ground and started crying, what a little bitch.

pimpslap1236
11-24-2006, 09:37 PM
ive got 2 or 3. first isnt spectacular. back in about grade 4 we were being stupid at teh playground throwing rocks at each other, and one of the rocks hit me on the right one, and then is a sharp rock. hurt like a mother****er. for some reason it hurts alot more if only 1 gets hit. my second story was when i was climbing a tree. long story short a branch broke and i fell about 5 feet and then smacked my balls on a branch below, and then hitting the ground, i also fractured my wrist from that one. those are my stories.

walker-rose
11-24-2006, 09:37 PM
well this was a couple of weeks ago. Me and some of my friends were weight lifting and one of my friends was getting on this machine where you sit on it and pull the weights up, and as hes sitting down (there is a bar that is supposed to keep you from flying upwards) he hits the bar and just stops.

Breakdown
11-24-2006, 09:44 PM
I was playing soccer a few years ago and me and my friend were both running for the ball, and of course he gets there first and kicks it as hard as he can when I'm two feet away. Hits me square in the balls. I immediately drop to the ground, and I'm not afraid to admit that I cried, and passed out for a minute. Then I rolled off the field.

Blood_Covered
11-24-2006, 09:46 PM
I have a REALLY bad story about getting hit in the balls, but only 3 other people know it beside me, therefore im not going to share it on the internet, because its that bad. But the second worse ball pain ive felt came the other night. I was training and i took this kids back, I had the top position and I set the hooks in. Then I preceded to roll him over so that he was belly up, meanwhile I could sink in the choke. When I was rolling him over, I didnt have the hooks in tight enough, and it made alot of space. So when I hit my back, it created a shockwave kind of thing, and he fell flat on me, and my balls got crushed so hard, I had to stop training (for the rest of the round at least) it hurt so effin bad. I cannot explain how bad it hurt.

edit: I train in BJJ.

TheHeartbreaker
11-24-2006, 09:51 PM
These haven't happened to me, but I was present when they happened to my friends. So...

At a friends birthday party, we decided to go golfing. My friend's brother was about twenty feet away from my friend, and not in direct line with the hole, so he thought, "What the **** could happen?". My friend, who was still very bad at the time, basically hits the ball dead-on into his brother's nuts, who not only falls over, but falls, along with his bag, into a creek he was standing next to that cuts through the course.

Another story, which I feel is worse, happened about five years ago. My friends and I had basically been playing hockey every day of the summer from nine in the morning until four in the afternoon. One of my friends had broken his stick, and the only one we had left was this fairly small one that measured up to about his hip (he was very tall for his age). As a joke, he would run with it between his legs. However, one time he was chasing the ball (street hockey), and as it neared the curb he tripped. The stick hit the curb, but got stuck into a division crack (as in the cracks that are made from when they put in a new segment). His body when full-force through and broke the shaft of the stick.

He was out for a few days with purple testicles.

halfback_712
11-24-2006, 09:56 PM
this is the threadstarter and i got another one.

When i was younger, i remember i was just getting my first adult sized bike. You know when theres a bike thats a little big for you have to kinda hop onto the seat to get going? Well, I missed the seat.

halfback_712
11-24-2006, 10:02 PM
keep it going guys this is hilarious

halfback_712
11-24-2006, 10:11 PM
bump

SeveralSpecies
11-24-2006, 10:11 PM
Im sorry i had to post before you quadruple posted. Lord knows what couldve happened!

RandyismyIdol
11-24-2006, 10:20 PM
One of my younger brother's friends was over my house with one of those plastic toy jousting swords with the big ball tips, and well....jabbed.....ouch. I had to get an ultrasound to make sure blood was still getting there.
One of my friend's dad knew someone who apparently tried to jump over some firehydrant type thing and didn't quite clear it well enough. Something was left behind...

halfback_712
11-24-2006, 10:30 PM
my friend has 3 bals because one got chipped off when he was trying to jump a baseball fence to retrieve a home run. He never told his parents or got it checked.

The Virtuoso
11-24-2006, 10:38 PM
One time me and my brother were playing (don't remember what) when we were younger and I threw a blanket at him and kicked, for some reason, with full force (Keep in mind that I used to be a punter for the football team). Hit him square in the package and when I looked at him it looked like he just took one in the ass.

This isn't really a story but I had a friend who I would hit in the nuts everytime we would hang out. I wouldn't do it on purpose but some way or another I always succeeded in smacking his pecker, for example one time we were looking for something buried in rocks and when I threw one behind me and BAM smack in the dick!

Guitarist132
11-24-2006, 10:40 PM
my friend has 3 bals because one got chipped off when he was trying to jump a baseball fence to retrieve a home run. He never told his parents or got it checked.
:haha :haha :haha

so he had 4 to start? :haha

halfback_712
11-24-2006, 10:45 PM
NOOOO lol he had 2 and one got smashed in 2 parts so now he has 3

SeveralSpecies
11-24-2006, 10:46 PM
:haha :haha :haha

so he had 4 to start? :haha


:haha

halfback_712
11-24-2006, 11:07 PM
bump

metaldud536
11-24-2006, 11:07 PM
I've sat on my balls before. Twice. Does that count as getting hit in the balls ?

halfback_712
11-24-2006, 11:19 PM
lol i remember i was like 6 and it was the first time i was wearing my big-boy boxers and the first thing i did was get in the car and sit on my balls the whole way to the store with my mom. It sucked.

Funkbass796
11-24-2006, 11:24 PM
I was at soccer practice one day for school. Last year i was a starting defener for my school's JV team, and did these excercises where you had 6 people on offense(4 mids, 2 strikers) against 4 defenders. Well I was the central right defender and i went against our top center mid. The ball was played in the air to him, his back to the goal, i position myself in front of the ball to block the shot, he turns, rips the ball as hard as he can, and sends it straight into my family jewels. Needless to say, I couldn't walk for the rest of practice and i didn't even dare think of masturbating anytime soon...

i_am_the_movie
11-24-2006, 11:50 PM
this kid i know was riding his bike, and he was trying to go off a ramp. during the jump, he slid off the seat, and his, err... package, hit the bar really hard. he ended up breaking a testy, he even went to the emergency room. i wasn't there, but if i had been, i would've thrown up.

maybe_I_am
11-24-2006, 11:58 PM
It wasn't me, but this kid at my friends camp got paid five bucks to put his balls up on a table, take a full water bottle, and slam it as hard as he could onto his balls. According to my friend, the result was quite hilarious. Another one, my friend was skating, and he saw this guy try to grind a rail. The guy fell, somehow got his balls caught on the rail, and ripped his sack. Ow.

jolson27
11-25-2006, 12:12 AM
i was with 3/4ths of my band in the bassists basement, and we found some boxing gloves (two pairs) so we were like hell, lets box. so we went outside and started boxing and like 2 punches in, we were in like one of those tangle deals, and the other guitarist in my band (stringmagician) reared back and gave me a full elbow blow to the nads. i was down for a good 20 minutes. it hurts just thinking about it *shudder*

punkgtrst096
11-25-2006, 12:19 AM
When I was in 7th grade, this girl kicked me in the balls because I told her she'd never get laid. Ever. It hurt pretty bad, and I couldn't get up off the ground for at least 15 minutes. Ironically, she's a ***** now.

There was one time, a few years back, when I was at soccer practice and this dude kicked the ball. It hit me straight in the junk. When I finally got up, I tackled his ass.

THE END

Doppleganger
11-25-2006, 12:23 AM
Luckily, i've never REALLY hurt or got my balls in pain.
The worst i have to say is i was lying down on my bed and i was spin tossing my phone up in the air and it landed dead on center of both of them.. it frequently happens.. sometimes my tv remote... oof.

Krulin
11-25-2006, 12:26 AM
During Gym last year I got smoked in the crotch with a 2 pound, pure vulcanized rubber lacrosse ball.

dajumbles
11-25-2006, 12:26 AM
Dude this guy just randomly punches me balls, square on. It hurt. A lot.

That same guy told me how he punched this guy in the balls when he was sleeping on a wooden thingy, so his balls were between a fist and wood. ouch.

Quintessence153
11-25-2006, 12:53 AM
I go to sparring classes once a week at my kenpo school. I have been hit in the balls several times. The most memorable instance was with an enormous man (at least 6'6") who used to go to the school.

We were sparring one evening, and I tried to kick him in the kidney. While I did hit my target and scored my point, he had brougt up a sloppy kick, which hit my wide open balls. Had I not had a cup on, I would've been puking blood.

cokeisbetter
11-25-2006, 12:56 AM
Anyone seen Casino Royale?

One time at summer camp, a couple of my friends had a sack whack contest. One guy got hit right before a group picture, so he couldn't lean down or put his hands down. Ouch.

Mantiscabinet
11-25-2006, 12:56 AM
slapshot to the nuts

nuff said

xolax
11-25-2006, 12:58 AM
This kid from my elementary school tried jumping off his roof onto his trampoline. Well, he fell short - right on the metal part of the edge. :haha

gatewaytobeyond
11-25-2006, 01:24 AM
kinda like the one above me...jumping on a wet trampoline and it didnt have the cover on the springs...landed one leg on either side of the springs....so that hurt...and when the springs retracted, the pinched sh|t out of my nuts

second....friend thought itd be funny to throw a 20lb rock at me when i was sitting down...i didnt catch it because i wasn't expecting it...do i need to even say where it hit?

attackofnose
11-25-2006, 01:32 AM
we call it BANG-KOCK


At my school what always happens is someone will say,

"What's the capital of Thailand?"
*pause*
"BANGKOK!"
*punches nuts*

So I always return with,

"What's a famous city in Germany where a treaty was signed in 1938, resolving a dispute over the Sudetenland?"
*pause*
"m-EUNICH!"
*punches nuts*

C O B H C
11-25-2006, 01:37 AM
i remember once last winter i was playing street hockey out in the cold and as we cleared the road for a car to go by, me friend blindly shoots the puck over the passing car (about 20 feet in the air) and it hits me....ya know.....there. after sitting on the sidewalk for about 15 mins, i ask my bud to get me an ice pack... and when he came out whipped it at my nuts. unbeliebvable. :no:

nuthin_special
11-25-2006, 01:47 AM
i was jumpin an fence when i was little and had gotten the first leg over when my buddy who was jumpin the fence with me hit me right in the back of the knee and my leg buckled and i went straight down on the fence worst thing was that there was electric runnin to it

Musical Meds
11-25-2006, 01:52 AM
My gym class was playing tennis once, and this kid killed his serve, it was like lightning, hit me square in the nads.

batesyy
11-25-2006, 01:55 AM
We were playing some stupid game at cricket, whilst we were batting, well waiting to bat, with some mini basketball. Everybody was throwing it around, and I stood up and the guy behind me pantsed me, so my pants were around my ankles, then suddenly the ball hit me in the nuts (he didn't throw it intentionally), and I was on the ground holding my nuts with my pants around my ankles.

Turbo_Man
11-25-2006, 02:17 AM
I haven't really gotten nailed there, just minor hits but I remember one close call. It was 7th grade (I think), I was on the basketball team and it was at a home game. We were on defense and someone shot the ball up and it bounced off the rim. So I went in for the rebound when someone else jumped up and threw the ball back to one of his teammates. Problem is, I was right in the way and it bounced off the inside of my left leg and then hit the inside of my right leg. It came pretty much as close as you can get without actually getting hit there. I guess I was lucky. :peace:

halfback_712
11-25-2006, 11:11 AM
lol this thread is great

Walkin'Basser
11-25-2006, 11:26 AM
I was karting with my friends in one of my friend's birthday party, and i was driving at the kart's full speed, while someone bashed me from behind and made me lose control and hit a "wall" (the track's border, made of tires).
My safety belt wasn't properly tightened and to cut a long story short, i bumped forward and my nuts hit the fuel tank.
Needless to say, it hurt. (I had a purple mark on my nuts for a week after)

LostinTime
11-25-2006, 11:49 AM
Well once my girlfriend and I are making out in my room and what not, and then we get the idea of fooling around inside my closet.Yeah I know, weird. But anyways, its a small, dark area that involves someone being on top, so I said sure. Well, I was on top for awhile, and then somehow we just kind of roll over the other way, and my girlfriend ends up on top.

Now at that point, we took a small break and were just kinda taking a breather, and then suddenly she pushes me back down and kinda just lands on top of me, in my small closet. So in the process she knees me in the groin with her full weight...Now remember, this is while we are fooling around, so you can imagine the state I was in at the moment of impact. Yep, unpleasant.

Lets just say, we don't go in my closet anymore...

flyingmarlin
11-25-2006, 01:25 PM
cricket ball, say nomore

tobythechimp
11-25-2006, 01:26 PM
i got hit in the balls with a cricket ball, i now have faracous veins......nuff sed

gangsta4life
11-25-2006, 01:27 PM
cricket ball, say nomore

bowling ball, say nomore

jagstang270
11-25-2006, 01:32 PM
Somebody mentioned my sister so I kicked him in the nuts, stupid little worm.

MarkPlaysStuff
11-25-2006, 01:33 PM
I used to play highschool football, and we had this one drill where a player would stand in the middle of a dozen or so guys, the coach would flip one the ball, and he charges at the guy in the middle, who tries to tackle him.

Anyways, this one kid tried to sort of jump over a tackle during one of these drills, except he missed the pushoff and didn't get a great jump. Helmet met nuts, and helmet won. The dudes nuts were the size of grapefruits the next day. He had to be taken to the hospital.

flyingmarlin
11-25-2006, 01:38 PM
bowling ball, say nomore
STRIKE!
lmao ouch

merkalos666
11-25-2006, 09:35 PM
my friend decided she was going to show her love of physical humor to some people she hung out with so at lunch one day, she kicked me so hard in the nuts, i just about fell over but i laughed about it.

LetTheBassPlay
11-25-2006, 09:41 PM
it didnt happen to me, but it happened to a friend. We were sitting at soccer practice and one kid just drills it and it hits another kid square in the nuts. The kid instantly fell to the ground crying and then crawled into the corner of the goal. Since the coach really didnt like the kid he had us all line up like 10 feet from the goal and start shooting at the kid.

that was one hell of a practice.

NUMBER1
11-25-2006, 09:48 PM
Heres my average friday night....

Theres this pizza place in town that has awesome local bands play all the time. Well my boy Buddah has a good ole time tap-sacking evryone there, a couple weeks ago we got him 3 times in a row, I mean as soon as he got up he went back down. My buddy Collier comes up from behind him and low blows him, it looked very painful. As soon as he got up I got him pretty much with a punch to the nuts, and then another guy comes up and hits him again. Needless to say he got us all back pretty good the next day when he could walk.

AlexInChains
11-25-2006, 09:51 PM
I ball-tapped one of my friends with a textbook when we were sitting in the library.

GibsonPuppeteer
11-25-2006, 10:01 PM
I was coming from a movie with my parents and 7 year old fatass sister, and we were on our way to a lovely dinner at Max & Erma's. My sister decides it would be fun to start whipping me with her zipper hoodie, and the zipper pops me right in the left nut. The thing swelled up to about 1.5 times its usual size and hurt for over two hours.

el_strato
11-25-2006, 10:27 PM
i was playin football (the kind where you use your feet) and im a goalkeeper so you would expect i get hit there all the time. Well this time was another poor fellow. I punted the ball sky-high and one of the guys on the other team tries to, ya know, head the ball. Well he missjudged the ball and it came down straight on his crotch.

I guess he got his head on it after all.


lmao
sigged!

zwart_gitaar
11-25-2006, 10:33 PM
I was 5, and riding a bike down a hill on trainers. I was going fast as hell and lost controle, but I was kept up by the....trainers (Grammer nazi's unite.) Well as I was going I slamed, not sideward, not even slightly inverted, into a curb. Then sent me directly into the steering bar, thing-ama-jiger, and BOOM i slamed my tight little package directly into it, whilist going at an estimated 20 miles an hour. For some odd reson i thought I was bleeding out of my ass.

halfback_712
12-14-2006, 08:01 PM
i got ball tapped today

sky_blue
12-14-2006, 08:06 PM
Being a girl this thread is hilarious :haha

lukaria
12-14-2006, 08:15 PM
Being a girl this thread is hilarious :haha
Damn you!

sky_blue
12-14-2006, 08:16 PM
Damn you!

:haha :devil:

dannyboy14
12-14-2006, 08:16 PM
In Year 7 at my School, i was standing outside the library, and my friend runs around the corner, and from 3 metres away, pegs me right on the nuts

I was out, on the ground for awhile...

Also, there's this fully bitchy girl at my school, (not small either, quite powerful,) and my friend was just standing there, and she comes up and kicks him, hard as she could in his balls. And he took it really well, he was just crouching for a while on the ground, going 'ouch'

( o )===#
12-14-2006, 08:25 PM
my friend threw a bowling ball at me when i was on his trampoline, and it bounced just underneath me as i was coming down... i couldnt move for about 5 minutes :o

OWNED.


As for me, I got kicked, tennis balled, donkey punched, and whipped on the balls in school. :p:

a guitar's life
12-14-2006, 09:30 PM
I was at Walmart once looking at the video games when this kid whom I didn't know just randomly came up to me and punched me right in the balls...I was like WTF?

Spinal Tap
12-14-2006, 09:33 PM
We were playing basketball and this dumbass goes and does chicken legs on me. The ball hit the money.

toobsok
12-14-2006, 09:34 PM
anyone heard of nutball? you sit across from someone
spread your legs, and lob a raquetball at eachothers nuts.
i played my friend for an hour and a half of intense pain
because the winner got a chicken burger.
needless to say, i did not enjoy myself or a girl
for another week.

Defaulted
12-14-2006, 09:45 PM
One time in Woodwork my friend was using the table saw and wasn't paying attention. He was pushing the wood through and heard a crack. The wood had broken of and within a second smoked him in the balls. He turned as red as a tomatoe. Everybody laughed and the teachers jaw dropped.
:rolleyes:
:rolleyes:

amorebelladonna
12-14-2006, 09:47 PM
I was walking back from cricket practice and then my mate just came up and got me in the cahonies with the bat. Ohh, I was out for quite a while I was

Nightrain57
12-14-2006, 09:53 PM
haha ive got a good one, last year at soccer practice our team had the ball and i was playing forward along with my friend. Well about halfway down the field he crosses it to me and it coming about stomach level ( or so i thought) so i decide to jump up and trap it with my knee. well i misjudged the height and it smacks me right in the nuts. So im there on the ground while my whole team is laughing there ass off including my friend who also gets hit about 5 seconds later in the face. My nuts hurt for a while after that

fps_doug
12-14-2006, 09:58 PM
Oh man.
Okay.
My friend and I were at a driving range, we decided to go to the chipping green. So my friend is chipping out of the bunker. If anyone knows anything about bunkers, you HAVE TO hit down hard on the ball, and basically send sand everywere. You can just hit the ball, and kind of scoop it, or else it goes way to hard and way to far. So my friend hit, and he hit only the ball. And I was up at the hole, figuring he wouldn't do what he did. So it comes flying out of the bunker and hits me square in the balls. I was down for quite a while.

Also, my friend got hit in the balls by a pretty hard slapshot in one of our hockey games. He had forgotten his jock, but I luckily had an extra. Kind of gross, but it may have saved his balls.

OutlawMusician
12-14-2006, 10:06 PM
I was a birthday party and there was pinata there, so a kid walks up with a bat of course and swings a couple times and misses as usual but then on his last swing and he swong with his srongest swings and the bat left his grip and hit me in the nuts, so i feel on the ground and passed out because of the pain, but when i woke up i had a ice pack on my nuts and on my head. so yeah i guess that is my story

aixelsydevahi
12-14-2006, 10:15 PM
I was sledding in my backyard one winter and there was a layer of ice under the snow. We have an aluminum swingset at the bottom of the hill which I was sledding on. About halfway down the hill the sled flies out from under my and I proceed to slide down on my ass. I ended up slamming into one of the poles holding the swings up with my legs spread open. My balls haven't been the same since.

Phax
12-14-2006, 10:22 PM
well this is what i heard from a teacher. When he was in a teen or w.e they were dressing down in the locker room and decided to have wet towel whipping fights, but no one messed with him cuz he said he was good at doing that -.- BUT he said that one guy was whipping everyone so someone else who got tired of it got a wet towel, wrapped it up for launch, then BAM hit directly to his nuts and his sack ripped open and everything fell out... but he was ok the next day all they had to do was stitch it back up nothing eternally damaged

bodomlove
12-14-2006, 10:25 PM
i was walking home with a friend who was on ctruthces after he hurt his ankle, as we were walking i was kicking his crutches so he would stumble, then out of nowhere he turns around smacks me right on the money with one of his crutches. I like collasped to the ground and laid in the middle of the road for about 5 mins, he said my face was like red as. Probably the worst pain in my life

Holy Magenta
12-14-2006, 10:27 PM
I don't have balls to be hit in, but yesterday I spiked a volleyball helluv hard at my coach's whatsits by accident. He was mad at me. :)

aprescott_27
12-14-2006, 10:30 PM
This happened to my dad, not me. We were chopping down a tree in our backyard because it was dead, and it was time for it to go. For some reason, he was using the hatchet instead of the chain saw at this particular stage, but he just took a good whack at it, and all of a sudden, he was on the ground. Me and my sister and my girlfriend were standing back waiting for it to go, and we were like "Oh, crap, what did he do?" We eventually figured out that a piece of wood or bark or something had come off the tree and hit him square in the balls. And we didn't get it on camera, either, my sister turned off the camera a couple minutes before it happened.

Killedmt
12-14-2006, 10:32 PM
This thread makes me want to never ever leave my room again for fear of hurting myself.

james4
12-14-2006, 10:34 PM
once when i was younger i was riding my bike in a forest and ran straight into a tree, flew forward, and was not only sacked by the handle bars, but the tree as well.
Many other times too, but that's the one i remember most

jac_murphy
12-14-2006, 10:35 PM
anyone heard of nutball? you sit across from someone
spread your legs, and lob a raquetball at eachothers nuts.
i played my friend for an hour and a half of intense pain
because the winner got a chicken burger.
needless to say, i did not enjoy myself or a girl
for another week.

Nutball FTW!

We play it differently at my camp though. We line four people against a wall and pitch the ball at them from about 15 feet away. If someone flinches, the thrower gets a free shot at them from half the distance. If they flinch again, half the distance again, and so on. The people throwing and on the wall rotate every so often.

Even better is when you play at night and shine a flashlight in their eyes, so they're completely blinded. It's made for some good hits.

-Jacques

BBQZombies
12-14-2006, 11:04 PM
one time, my girlfriend & i & few other people were at dairy queen late at night & we sat outside & after we had finished eating, my girlfriend & i walked out to her car & this kid that was with us runs up behind me, shoves his arm up the middle of my legs, gets stuck in a hole & rips the crotch of my pants at the seam... ****ing hilarious at the time, but after he ripped my pants, he made sure he got me, & he did... needless to say, it was easy access for my girlfriend later that night during the healing proccess... :)

tretinoin0025
12-14-2006, 11:09 PM
i was playin tennis with this dude and when it was my time to serve, ****in i served it and it went right to his balls! I was so satisfied. he told me the next day his balls had bruised. HAHA!

antoniobanderas
12-14-2006, 11:20 PM
ive been on crutches for like a week, and when people want to mess around with my crutches, i let them and i have to stand
i can stand and wlk, but when i walk, i look like a tard, and when i satnd, i cant move fast to protect myself, and this punk kid who thinks hes cool hit me in the balls, but it wasnt a good hit so it only hurt for like 30 seconds

frog_friend
12-14-2006, 11:27 PM
We were playing soccer in P.E., and this girl kicks the ball and hits my teacher square in the nuts. One of the funniest things I have seen in my life.

Eggmond
12-16-2006, 03:14 PM
i was walking by a car and my friend was in it and he opened the door and it swung into my sack.it was bruised for a week

carterb
12-17-2006, 04:49 AM
This story kicks my ass...

One of my buddies just got home on leave from the army the other day and he hasn't even finished boot camp yet. He got to come home because some idiot beside him during a training excercise fumbled a flash bang when he was supposed to be throwing it and it went off inbetween this guys legs. They swelled up huge and the left one swelled up to where it burst and that is why he is home because he has to have constructive surgery on his balls.

RNRSoldier
12-17-2006, 04:54 AM
Oh my god, my balls hurt so bad after this and it got ****ing posted on youtube:

Alright, so I was at this camp over the summer where you stay in dorms at the local campus and take classes and shit, which, although really nerdy, is really fun. So I was chilling in my friends dorm in the afternoon, and I hear a knock at the door. From there it was like it was in slow motion: I step forward. I turn the door knob. I pull it open and see 3 of my friends grinning, two holding shiny things. A lacrosse stick flies towards my balls. Contact. Pain. Oww. What a ****ing twat. I fall on the floor. Curl into fetal position. Realise that the other shiny thing was a camera. Everybody laughs histerically.

Although I cant find the video now, the cause of my probable sterility got posted on the internet.

halfback_712
12-18-2006, 07:48 PM
wrestling + drilling moves with guy who weighs 30 pounds more than you do + falls on your package with knee leading = :eek:

halfback_712
12-18-2006, 07:49 PM
Oh my god, my balls hurt so bad after this and it got ****ing posted on youtube:

Alright, so I was at this camp over the summer where you stay in dorms at the local campus and take classes and shit, which, although really nerdy, is really fun. So I was chilling in my friends dorm in the afternoon, and I hear a knock at the door. From there it was like it was in slow motion: I step forward. I turn the door knob. I pull it open and see 3 of my friends grinning, two holding shiny things. A lacrosse stick flies towards my balls. Contact. Pain. Oww. What a ****ing twat. I fall on the floor. Curl into fetal position. Realise that the other shiny thing was a camera. Everybody laughs histerically.

Although I cant find the video now, the cause of my probable sterility got posted on the internet.

link to youtube vid?

VoltanEchoes
12-18-2006, 07:50 PM
Well, once I was standing a few inches away from an air-hockey table and my sister and some other kid were playing. As the game became more heated, the puck went faster and faster, until finally, my sister hit it hard and it came flying right over the table and into my nutsack. I was on the floor for a good ten minutes, clutching as everyone laughed.

parkerguitars24
12-18-2006, 08:33 PM
my science teacher told me her brother tried to jump an electric fence and stradled it.12 volts in your balls not good.

I skateboard and somebody waxed my usual unwaxed rail and went to fast and slid down the thing on my balls.


I once credit carded my self kickflipping a 7 stair,ouch.

SGstriker
12-18-2006, 08:35 PM
my friend has 3 bals because one got chipped off when he was trying to jump a baseball fence to retrieve a home run. He never told his parents or got it checked.

someone should sig that, I would, but I don't have room:haha :haha

DashBlaster
12-18-2006, 08:44 PM
I didn't get hit but...

Me and two of my friends are going swimming. We all turn around to put on our trunks, and one of my friends says HEY! TURN AROUND! We do, and he's lying on a bench with his legs in the air. His ass crack and balls are pointed right at my friend. My friend whips him in the balls with his towel, hard. Like, I mean HARD. My friend called his mum and went home. We laughed at that for a while.

yzmxer931
12-18-2006, 11:03 PM
2 stories
one time I overshot a double at el cajon mx park (R.I.P.) and landed on the face of the next one which made them hit the tank.
the other time i was riding my tramp bike and tried a triple barspin 180. i didn't pinch the seat hard enough and as i came down, the back on the bike bounced and hit "the boys"

Conky420
12-18-2006, 11:33 PM
My gym class was playing tennis once, and this kid killed his serve, it was like lightning, hit me square in the nads.
same thing happened to me, but it was slightly different

we were playing badminton, and we were walking off the court, my friend who was walking in front of me, swung the damn racket, came back behind him, hit me square in the sack

many many more stories i cba to post right now

FaDe2bLaCk242
12-18-2006, 11:55 PM
I was skateboarding with a friend in the middle of the road. I way behind him untill he unexpectedly turned around and skated past me while laughing. Before I realized what was happening i was on the ground in the most severe pain i have EVER felt in my life. Turns out the bastard though it would be funny to punch me in the balls almost as hard as he could. I was almost in tears. I was on the ground for about ten minutes, the ten longest minutes of my life.

irishmatt1992
12-18-2006, 11:59 PM
well myfriend has major jelousy problems about me being with girls so I was outside one of our other friends house at a party making out with my girlfriend and this dude was walking by with his and punches me in the balls, I puked!

Ebriscombe
12-19-2006, 12:02 AM
My friend did the old what's the capital of thailand? Bangkok joke where you get punched in the nads, but he hit me so hard i threw up and it was in the town center.

TheAntiProduct
12-19-2006, 12:23 AM
this has to be the pits funniest thread...:)

i never figured out how to use the laughing smilie :(

CowboyUp
12-19-2006, 12:43 AM
My friends and I used to play "peter tag" in middle school. Worst 3 years of my life. I got bagged so many times.

~windrider~
12-19-2006, 04:44 AM
friend: hey, wanna know my favorite play?
me: what?
friend: NUTCRACKER!!!
*punches me in the nuts.*

friend: wanna know m favorite sport?
me: what?
friend: FOOTBALL!!!
*kicks me in the balls*

i know you're wondering why this guy's still my friend... he's not! LOLZORZ!

true_bacon22
12-19-2006, 06:29 AM
one day in winter my brother rndomly came up to me in his steel platted snow boots in kicked me 100% in the balls i felt sick and couldent move for 10 minutes

SilentSpectacle
12-19-2006, 07:41 AM
Such a great thread.

Me and a few friends a few summers ago invented "Testicle Judo".
We organized sneaks attacks and special moves and everything.
Anything from jumping on their shoulders or the arm between the legs, the "Look, a bird!" then kick. Everything.
It was great.

AC-DC_rules
12-19-2006, 07:46 AM
one of my friends got kicked in the balls by this chick i know because he tackled her boyfriend, it took her like 5 kicks to actually find the right spot which by itself is an insult, but we're all friends, and the guy she kicked in the balls is goin out with her twin

monkeh
12-19-2006, 09:31 AM
What an entertaining thread!

My worst time woulda been back at school when i got gang sack-whacked. Someone grabbed my arms, and everyone took a swipe. Oh the horror! Funny though.

Another time I was playing footy (rugby union) and someone was mauling over the top of me, and stepped right on the family jewels with stud shoes on. Ouch!

Nothing like a good game of Ro-Sham-Bo

LetTheBassPlay
12-19-2006, 09:42 AM
^ I'm a rugby player too. Fly half.

anyways, my worst story would have to be playing soccer(football). I was a goalie and the kid slid into me cleats first with metal studs and then kinda stood up too.
I just kinda rolled off the field.

CanCan
12-19-2006, 09:51 AM
I was walking with a friend. The guy stops, I stare at him, ask what's happening and he kicks me in the balls and starts laughing.

Matt_Malmsteen
12-19-2006, 10:06 AM
Not me, but my mate. We had hockey in PE and he was going to tackle this guy but as he got closer the guy twatted the ball (hopefully you know how hard hockey balls are) and it went straight into my mates balls.

Was painful to witness, so I can't imagine how he felt.

Alix_D
12-19-2006, 10:12 AM
Bowled a cricket ball once, straightened up and the batsman struck it perfectly straight and it whacked me straight in the Jimmy Johnson.

Least it got me out of playing Cricket!

CowboyUp
12-19-2006, 10:29 AM
Greatest story yet-

Me and my friends and one of my friends little brothers were playing kickball in my back yard. My friend jumps to dodge a ball, and the little brother just nails him in mid air. I laughed my ass of for the rest of the day, it was heavenly.

Bronek
12-19-2006, 10:37 AM
This thread is exactly why we are presented with two at birth. :p:

IbanezSA160
01-24-2007, 01:45 PM
I was walking with a friend. There was a pole. The kind of pole that is suppose to stop cars from driving into a street. It was just the right height and i wasn't paying attention to where i was walking. It didn't hit me hard, but i had enough speed to kind of "roll over" it with my body weight on my balls.

Jdawg5tl
01-24-2007, 02:01 PM
last year i was playing high school football and the damn coach made us run through the ' blaster ' for runningback training. the blaster is basically a bunch of steel poles that make up a box and on the inside of the box is spring loaded steel rods wrapped in this thick ass hard plastic , its supposed to train you to run through the hole hard and build up speed to run over your opponent, well we were doing speed drills and once he blew the whistle we took the hand off and ran through the hole ..... the only thing is the dude in front of me was a big ass full back and he had them steel rods moving fast and i took the handoff when it was my turn and just ran through like any other drill and one of the rods came flying back just as i was reaching the blaster and it nailed me right in the nuts. i managed to get through all of the rods, but kind of stood around for a second after and the coach was wondering what the hell was the matter and i told him my dick was just crushed from one of the rods ..... it sucked so bad. it was one of those painful moments where if it happened to someone else you would be laughing, but it happened to you and everyone's laughing so you dont really get pist you just feel the pain like 10x more lol, the sucky thing is that we had to do that segment for like another 15 - 20 minuetes afterwards ..... i didnt want to feel like a pussy so i went through my drills with the worst ****ing ball pain. i swear i thought i broke it in half or something. i ****ing hated that blaster it would aways hit you in the nuts or cut open your arms or neck or something, but we had to do it like 4 plus times a week.

Bullet-Rule
01-24-2007, 02:43 PM
I was thrown a half corky half tennis ball. I cupped my hands but missed it and it went straight through and hit my balls. Sore for days.

Khoianh
09-08-2013, 02:54 AM
I was kicked really hard when I was sleeping. My friend kicked me and took the picture to up it on facebook. It hurts for 3 days and I cannot move for 2 hours. The picture is on my avatar!
Please comment and don't upload my picture anywhere!

Weaponized
09-08-2013, 02:57 AM
thats great Khojanh, congrats

Khoianh
09-08-2013, 03:01 AM
thanks Weaponized

strait jacket
09-08-2013, 03:26 AM
holy fucking necrobump

Wiegenlied
09-08-2013, 05:57 AM
thanks to hockey and martial arts I've been hitting in the balls enough to be confident enough to never use a condom

ball pain is unlike any other pain, there's just no way to put it into words

I once got hit in the balls with a puck so hard that I lost my voice for a good 3-4 hours

PsiGuy60
09-08-2013, 06:03 AM
I've never been hit in the balls but I did get needles in there once.
Had a testicular torsion, they had to locally anesthetize it to untwist my ball and prevent it from happening again.
The anesthetizing hurt more than the actual torsion.

Laobi
09-08-2013, 06:53 AM
Didn't happen to me, but it's burned into my memory in HD.

Several years ago I was passing a particular bar famous only for the tools who frequented it. A fight broke out at the front door, I stopped to watch as idiot on idiot violence is not only totally acceptable to me, but also quite entertaining.

Our hero was on the first floor looking out the window at his friend being cancelled out by another moron, he can't bear to watch so he comes to the rescue in the most dramatic fashion ever.

The window is quickly pulled up, he points herocially and yells "you're dead ye cu nt!". Then leaps from the window onto the canopy below. I could almost hear the "dum de dum dum" music from Indiana Jones as he forward rolled over the edge of the canopy, landing in a fighting stance facing his nemesis.

Suddenly there was a "wachunk" sound followed by a gurgle and the unmistakable sight of the toe of a shoe sticking out from between the back of his legs. Our hero fell sideways like a dying cowboy sliding from a horse to the pavement. I slid down the wall laughing.

cha33 armstrong
09-08-2013, 07:01 AM
I grabbed her buttock she was wearing rings

DardySon
09-08-2013, 07:47 AM
This one time I was at a friends house and they had one of those ball launchers that you use to practice your returns in tennis but they had modified it to fire cricket balls to practice batting so we turned it on and were taking turns batting and this one ball bounced awkwardly and went straight into my balls. Needless to say I was still feeling it about 4 hours after the fact. I was worried that I had done some serious damage but it hasn't appeared to about 2 years later.


The worst I've hit someone in the balls was when me and a friend, who were both massively into wrestling at the time, would practice wrestling moves on my trampoline. This one time we decided to try a double arm ddt so I got him in the ddt position and we both fell but I bent my knees and because of where they were placed his balls got crushed up against one of my knees and because of how he fell all of his weight was put on top of his balls.

StopReadingThis
09-08-2013, 11:53 AM
Let's see... one time I was playing ball hockey in P.E. I was a sophomore, but for some reason I was in a freshman P.E. class.

Anyway, I'm the goalie, and the ball starts getting close, so I get ready, and this freshman chick ****ing swings her stick as hard as she can, hits the ball, and sends in sailing into my balls.

So, naturally, I fall over in pain with the ball beside me, which by the way somehow ended up tucked beside my ribs. Next thing I know, I'm swarmed with freshman trying to get the ball, which is still beside my ribs, WITH THE ****ING STICKS! They're ****ing slapping me and poking me to death with the goddam sticks!

JUST PICK THE ****ING BALL UP! CALL A TIME OUT, OR SOME SHIT!

Anyway, all that happens, and I limp away to go sit on the bleachers with the other loser un-athletic kids. One of my friends decides he wants to play now, and takes my place as goalie.

5 minutes later, he's limping back to the bleachers just like me :haha:

adamgur96
09-08-2013, 11:55 AM
Oh hi there 2006, how are you?

VillainousLatin
09-08-2013, 11:58 AM
From 2007 to 2013, most epic necrobump ever?

Anyways, mine is really stupid. I was taking a shower when my soap slipped from my hands. Me being the awesome ninja I am tried catching it maid fall, sadly I missed and hit myself in the balls with the strength of probably a full powered hook punch. Hurt like hell.

angusfan16
09-08-2013, 12:01 PM
Seems to be lots of bumping balls threads todays.

Duffman123
09-08-2013, 12:07 PM
I sometimes get this split second fear that one of my balls has retreated into my body and in a panic I check to see if it's still there.

Odd.

loose bowels
09-08-2013, 01:18 PM
Playing golf with my Grandad and my Mum when I was about 9, we were just finishing a really long hole and there were 2 guys waiting to go on after us. Before we'd had the chance to get off the green this guys smacks the ball all the way from one end of the course to the other straight in my balls. He ran over an apologised a lot, I cried and had to sit down for a long time.

To be fair though if I'd not been stood there it might've been a hole in one so fair play to the guy.