Underwater Dreams v2.0


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Albarranator
12-18-2006, 10:50 PM
Ok, so I did a better version of my song. Now with drums and some lyrics.
P.S.: I'm not a drummer
Crits are wellcome. Thank you :peace:

Woogles
12-18-2006, 11:00 PM
i didnt hear any lyrics

would be cool with a real band and lyrics tho, i like it

hardcoreatheist
12-22-2006, 08:47 PM
That's some beautiful music you got there. Only bit I didn't like was the bit starting at bar 54. I'm just not feelin' the jerky rythm, and to me it just doesn't really fit that well with the rest of the song. But apart from that really beautiful.

§tratocaster
12-23-2006, 12:40 AM
i didnt hear any lyrics
its a midi file...duh.

anyway.
i liked the song. but i agree with hardcore when he said that it gets a little jerky around measures 55-60.

otherwise it was very nice, and i liked the use of the seashore sound effect alot.

if you want you can crit mine (its the orange thing in the bottom of my sig)

leo_p8
12-23-2006, 06:42 AM
I'm not liking it too much. I thought it was all too stiff sounding (I know, I know, it's an MIDI!, what do you expect, silly?!?!?!), the progressions were too common and ultimately the first acoustic part was repeated to death. The distortion riff was good until its last two bars which wanted to turn the song to punk (imo) and ruined the little mood that had built up. I liked the leads and thought the seashore effect was greatly used. I particularily disliked the solo bass section simply because it sounded FAR too empty... let the drums at least keep the beat with it or somthing... or have some strings in the background... I don't know, it just stole too much from the rest.

All in all, valiant effort my friend, you have some interesting ideas and your leads are very enviornmental, so use that to your advantage. Keep working on this, make it smoother, alright?

Bodomizer
12-23-2006, 04:47 PM
i really liked it man. the acousic part was very nice and pretty good progressions. i didn't care for the electric part very much, but it still sounded alright. I didnt like the transition to the bass line at around 3:00. i thought the bass was very good, i just thing you could have faded into it better. after that the song was reallly really good. great job man. Could you crit one of my songs if you get the time? thanks man.

Metallica708
06-20-2007, 04:18 AM
This is really good. Whenever I try something in an odd time signature, it just sounds really jerky and unnatural, but you pulled it off really well! I really like the solo bit that comes in after the bass bit. It really reminds me of "Home" by Dream Theater.

Overall, very good. Though I don't really like the lyrics, but most lyrics look like crap on paper xD

Albarranator
06-20-2007, 12:43 PM
Thanks for everyone for posting their crits! And let see what can I do to improve the song

Thefallofman
06-30-2007, 10:02 PM
Great job at incorporating the odd time signatures. Doesn't sound choppy or cut off one bit, and that's hard to pull off. The music almost has an underwatery feel, and from the lyrics and the Sea intro I can see that's what you went for. The theme is certainly there, and it works really, really well. The volume swells added lot. The solo is creative and pretty different. It's haunting, beautiful, musically interesting, simple and brilliant all at the same time. Really good job.

Thanks for critting mine, by the way. :D

DarkSonata
06-30-2007, 11:38 PM
I like it pretty good...the odd time signatures i think work pretty well. Like the guy above you said, it does give you that underwater feel. Its good, plus the name reminds me of that Underwater Friends song that Toki does when Dethklok records their album in the Mariana Trench...haha

Telestar
07-04-2007, 04:43 PM
Good Stuff. Little weird after the bass solo, but if you want it to be that way, dont listen to what we say. Its a great headbanging song by the way

FNAFJ
07-05-2007, 11:37 AM
Beautiful song =]

I personally didn't find any part to be bad =]

Like your use of the seashore effect =]

arcains_valor
07-06-2007, 04:28 PM
I wasn't a big fan of that song. I mean, it wasn't bad, but it could've been a whole lot better. I know you said you're not a drummer, but still, the drums do need work. First off, use constant symbols, every beat hit a hi-hat or crash or something, at least in the distortion part. When it's not constant, it sounds jerky and like there's a bunch of gaps. The symbols are what fill in the sound.

Another thing, the time signatures are retarded. you have 8/4, make it 4/4, 7/4 becomes 4/4-3/4, and 6/4 becomes either 3/4-3/4 or 4/4-2/4. It would be better if you could find one time signature and stick to it though.

Over all, even with all these mistakes, it's not bad.
Thanks for your crit. Rock on.