Metal song, with black metal, thrash and punk influences


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South-of-Heaven
12-31-2006, 10:08 AM
Hey. im 14 and was recently recruited as a singer/songwriter for a band at my school. This is v1 of my first song. It's metal, and has influences from satyricon and slayer. I got the time sig shifts idea from Metallica's "...and justice for all" and the particularly long acoustic intro is influenced by nirvana. anyways please crit this song and tell me what you think could make it better. The intro is really long and is one riff going over and over so skip it once you have heard the general build of it. i haven't written lyrics to it yet but when i have it wont be as boring.

Cheers.

Paddles
12-31-2006, 10:18 AM
Good effort, but I can't say I like it; it feels like just random drop-D power chords without any sense of rhythm or purpose. Also, in my eyes, acoustic intros are supposed to be pretty, haunting, or both, and I don't feel you captured that very well. All the same, I know how much time writing an entire song takes, so I applaud your efforts. Keep at it.

South-of-Heaven
12-31-2006, 10:23 AM
thanks a lot =] . i actually wrote this a while ago but i just thought i would see if i was heading in the right direction. so thanks :peace:

ikedawg
12-31-2006, 10:35 AM
I like it, i think its in a perfect direction for the syle of song it is... id stick with it, theres nothing wrong with making a song full of power chords if it sounds good.. i like the way it sounds. People in these forums have a problem with music that doesnt have sweeping arpeggios all over the place, or pianos and other shit like that. It sounds good, its very playable live, would sound good with lyrics overtop of it. keep it dude

Paddles
12-31-2006, 10:46 AM
People in these forums have a problem with music that doesnt have sweeping arpeggios all over the place, or pianos and other shit like that.

That's not a very fair statement. I just didn't like the song.

ikedawg
12-31-2006, 10:50 AM
It wasnt directed towards you, it did kinda come out that way. My bad.

Fama
12-31-2006, 02:24 PM
Hmm... I didn't really like the acoustic intro. Reminded me of Soul Bleed by Pantera a little, but that's not necessarily bad :) Also, it's too long but if you plan on putting singing on it, then that's ok.

The Enter Distortion might be better if the fade in was shorter. I did like the riff's for the most part. And the drums. I did not like the soolo however. You should try using a scale (Tools -> Scales) or at least following a key in your songs. I think it really would make especially solos sound a lot better.

[shameless self plug]
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=7697345 Crit please.
[/shameless self plug]


Edit: Also, of course you can do it behind the nut, but since you're probably gonna do that fret 0 vibrato and bend on the next string on fret 5, I think you should make it fret 5... Nothing big, tho :)

GiantRaven
12-31-2006, 05:06 PM
I think playing 8th notes consistently at that slow a speed doesn't sound good at all, either speed it up or change the rhythm, it makes the song sound incredably boring and hard to listen to. Same with the constant cymbals in the verse

I do like the drum solo though

South-of-Heaven
12-31-2006, 05:43 PM
so....basically my song is bollocks. dont' worry, i'll work on it.