Team S&M VS. Team The Best Lookin' Boys [Tag Team Comp. Semi-Finals 1]


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Something_Vague
01-09-2007, 01:30 AM
Vote on the overall quality of the two pieces combined, not for which team has your favorite piece, but which team had the better overall two pieces.

TEAM S&M

I Was Willing (At) The End.

Asymmetrically
bound, vesselsail cheek-by-jowl upon white-
capped plains, faintly
remaining as far as the vista
disolves into the horizons lowering eye.
Eighty-Six ships set sail into the night, from
within the sable docklands
of your maudlin mouth 'gainst the will
of windmill lashes, flicking
half on, half off; beneath starports where stars-
board carrion clouds and are carried through
jaded under currents, jade in colour,
as they kilter each vessel with a single jibe.

Mnemonic spars pointed to the sky-
as they sunk with a ribcage-
synchronicity;
each failing to iterate, "we're not just one
among the Armada. As it was so
purposefully poised upon the tip of your
subtly rippled tongue. She'd say,
"Every receptacle we humans fleet,
depart then moore at the thought of defeat."
While stealing the moisture from my lips,
with a tacit fingertip, motioning
every sunken vessel from my relationship-
wrecked body,
to ascend and puncture my hull.
"Your spirit is all that shall be left among this
apparition armada,
that so acquiescely follow my every word 'till their end.

===========

Aerodymanics, Radio Mechanics, And Lucid Transmissions On Christmas.

Aerodynamics;
a flightless bird,
such sorry sights welcome me home.
The nest,
crumpled hay,
and broken twigs, shift, lay,
fall near the trunk where worms climb through,
the dirt, mud, and snow to reach heaven,
dried out.
Just food.
Time out, a nose to the corner.
Her tears smeared the paint.
Iíll have to re-touch it tomorrow.

Radio mechanics,
a jittered buzz, thousands of bees
through millions of satellites.
Laser-guided missiles,
cupidís new arrow, one too many and
my body is full of holes. I can't drink,
Without my words spilling out.
Social drought, a timeless party.
The clocks keep ticking, can I fix them?
A disjointed embodiment. Close together,
but nearly one.
Almost two,
But so much for me.

Lucid transmissions;
such blank clouds, as marionettes will
puppet about, so will the sky.
A new morning, a new hand to squeeze.
Soft lights, sat alone on fire,
An onyx tongue,
Embryo lips, a new born love.
Can you be birthed through my
Lucid transmissions?


***************************


Team The Best Lookin' Boys

i sped to work

i sped to work
not because i was in a hurry
it's just the only interesting thing
i'd do today.

i crushed a fly
as i left my car
and picked leaves off trees
while i walked to the building's door.

a woman was wheeled to me,
bleeding.
she said,
"i'm trusting you with my life,
you know that,
right?"

i sped back home that night,
not because i was in a hurry.

================

harbor blah blah this title sux lol

Let's all jump in the harbor,
And hit the water at the same time.
See if we can break the anchor lines
Tying down the ships
So the water will pour out,
And we'll be left with a useless dam.

Maybe if you can hold back
The froth swirling back and forth,
Between gaping holes,
You can stop, and listen, and grow.
But everytime they kiss it sounds like
White noise.
White noise.
Static snow falls with a peculiar grace,
And why is it that we have to find art in everything?
For once can't we say it like it really is:
A forged attempt at being something special,
Capsulizing feeling.



VOTE FOR THE BEST OVERALL!

#1 synth
01-09-2007, 01:40 AM
1. 2. 3. 4. I declare a thumb war. (S&M)

*Truly Ninja*
01-09-2007, 04:53 PM
sadomasochism

circular.parade
01-09-2007, 05:43 PM
I really liked second in green. S&M pieces are not my taste but they're damn well written. I'll decide later, when I'll get to re-read them all.

Edit :


Actually, the more I read the first one from green ; the more I like it. It's concise and nearly every line can be taken upon on a second level. I think it's by far a better piece than it's taken to be.

Green.

Alk 3 addict
01-10-2007, 04:28 PM
Uhhhh green.

SilenceEvolves
01-10-2007, 04:35 PM
I really liked second in green. S&M pieces are not my taste but they're damn well written. I'll decide later, when I'll get to re-read them all.

Edit :


Actually, the more I read the first one from green ; the more I like it. It's concise and nearly every line can be taken upon on a second level. I think it's by far a better piece than it's taken to be.

Green.

i agree, i'm outstanding,

holla

#1 synth
01-13-2007, 04:24 AM
One day left...

Made Of Metal
01-13-2007, 04:57 PM
Embryo Lips? get the **** out of here

pinktuxdude
01-13-2007, 05:07 PM
all these are more poems than lyrics, but I voted green, I mean come on, would you really say, syrchronicy in a song? Yeah I kinda doubt a band like that would last that long.

However! that is just my opinion, of I was voting for poems they are both pretty good.

Retribution
01-13-2007, 06:12 PM
I really liked second in green. S&M pieces are not my taste but they're damn well written. I'll decide later, when I'll get to re-read them all.

Edit :


Actually, the more I read the first one from green ; the more I like it. It's concise and nearly every line can be taken upon on a second level. I think it's by far a better piece than it's taken to be.

Green.

Thank you.

I think S&M's writing is better, but ours are more... 'accessible'.

#1 synth
01-13-2007, 07:38 PM
so both teams voted for themselves (well, Matt, James, and Corey did) so if Steve votes for his own team then you'd be tied... But I think its in really bad taste to vote for yourselves anyway... but actually, I really dont give a shit.

Something_Vague
01-13-2007, 07:42 PM
all these are more poems than lyrics, but I voted green, I mean come on, would you really say, syrchronicy in a song? Yeah I kinda doubt a band like that would last that long.

However! that is just my opinion, of I was voting for poems they are both pretty good.


you voted specifically how you were told not too, which is the overall QUALITY of the two pieces, not whether or which has your favorite poem or which doesn't use the word sychronicy. plus your reasons are shitty, I vote to remove his vote from both polls.

The Hurt Within
01-13-2007, 08:31 PM
so both teams voted for themselves (well, Matt, James, and Corey did) so if Steve votes for his own team then you'd be tied... But I think its in really bad taste to vote for yourselves anyway... but actually, I really dont give a shit.


While I disagree with everything to do with voting. I am going to tie the pieces.

Enough said.

Final
01-13-2007, 09:09 PM
So, I just noticed I hadn't voted on this round yet. So I broke the tie.;)

Retribution
01-14-2007, 12:10 AM
So, I just noticed I hadn't voted on this round yet. So I broke the tie.;)

We were hoping you wouldn't see this thread...

Retribution
01-14-2007, 12:12 AM
so both teams voted for themselves (well, Matt, James, and Corey did) so if Steve votes for his own team then you'd be tied... But I think its in really bad taste to vote for yourselves anyway... but actually, I really dont give a shit.

I voted for my team because 1. Corey's piece is awesome, I might say. 2. My piece is pretty awesome, too. 3. Matt had voted for his team, and thus I wanted to make his vote null and void.

I agree it's in bad taste. But even the most ethical of politicians(what a joke... an ethical politician!) run a smear campaign after one is ran against them. Does it suck? Yeah, but it's how the world works.

That being said: Matt and Steve are two of my favorite writers on this site. The main reason I voted was because I wanted to counter-act Matt's vote. (And now Steve has counter-acted Corey's, and it's all well and good.) Nice work, the three of you. (You did good too, James. I'll call you later.)

#1 synth
01-14-2007, 04:46 AM
and S&M wins...