Thought Shot Comp group 2


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stratkat
01-10-2007, 09:15 PM
Opaque Viewing Glass To A Bottomless Pit Called Liquid Purgatory.

Casket Open:
an elegaic smile,
tipped crescents with embryo lips,
locked,
turned.
shut.
Casket Close:
A lily, a diamond lily,
capers, lands, sits.
Her hands thrown,
on my closed casket.


Calloused Fingers

Locusts swarm the face to drip and squirm like eyeliner
They will be a mask for every endemic thought
To drop from fingers and swirl beneath shuffling feet

Lethargic valentines are overrated,
Iíll settle for a heart on a string,
But hanging from the gnarled tree
Wonít validate crumpled love letters

Lips yearn to reform the face and revolt
Against virulent tongues lashing
Shelter charcoal lungs from vacant glares

Feral eyes cast stains upon open windows,
Virile fingertips weave treacherous thoughts,
To betray the shallow beatings of the chest
Swindling hope with clandestine infidelity

ďI Love YouĒ

This digital age defeats eloquence.


Choosing; 1. (a) 'slash/void' 2. (b) or not two (b)

Between;
"Goddamnit reach for your own salvation", spires and;
"don't you just get the urge to jump", skyscrapers,
collects;
"global warming wonít kill my generation;
so I donít care", carbon clouds,
Among which manifests a being,
bleeding from the toes on his feet
Below which sunlight manipulations
can be seen in the street,
"Itís a drop; itís a drop too far I swear,"
I bit my lip for every communication
I made a communion,
for every fabrication I formed at confession,
my lip bled,
and to this very hour the stain on my shoe is proof enough;
"this drop is a drop too far I swear."

As the city sings a crafty little tune
slightly off key,
in the note of;
"How come pigeons can walk on the tracks
and I canít?" railroads, and
"Why's it called rush hour,
when I get nowhere fast" tailbacks.
I contemplate;
the acent to my decent,
the buckle that breaks my perpendicular poise
and the possible outlines for my peculiar patterned limbs beneath.

For every spike upon a spire pierces the patchwork
that protects us from perdition,
and each step sideways deviates from my pathway
that follows the furrows of my cardinal sin,
weaving its way over the pupils of Temporals
and the fascias of features saying;
"The pointlessness of his performance,
is never as blunt as the relevance of death," and
"My sympathy only stretches as far
as his penultimate step."
-"this step is a step too far I swear.

For a thousand threads have fallen
by the slight of that jagged thimble
on that finger crucifix, but none,
as futile as I."


"I'll Say it First"

My mind is racing
like thin blood to a cut
and the bleeding won't stop
What the hell do I want?
She's pushed me past the point of tears
and for whatever reason I've been sitting here
for two hours on this park bench
thinking about the last thing she said


"Then you never have to talk to me again
see if I ****ing care.....
like you ever loved me anyway......
no one wants you here..."

There's alot more
but it was hard to hear above the yelling
As she screamed my heart was swelling
to an unbearable weight
and it's getting heavier
at an alarming rate

I don't know what I'm waiting here for
I guess I'm waiting on her
waiting for her to walk by
so I can have a pathetic attempt
to say I'm sorry
cause I know she won't say it first

stratkat
01-10-2007, 09:16 PM
Done, I think I got everyones format right, just tell me if I didn't. Okay I'm going to use SV's suggestion. I'm gonna take the top two from each group, then they face someone from the oppisite group. Then there'll be a 1v1 to decide 3rd and 4th place, and one to decide 1st and 2nd place.

Something_Vague
01-10-2007, 09:20 PM
why's blue centered?

[edit] also, the final round should not be with 4 people, it's unfair and dumb. make the next round having the one person from group 1 face someone from group 2, do that twice, there's your semi-finals, then you have finals. other wise it is rushed and pointless as the votes are too far spread out and doesn't properly do justice to the final round.

stratkat
01-10-2007, 09:21 PM
I don't know, he had centered when he sent it to me.

Something_Vague
01-10-2007, 09:22 PM
well, fix it, it makes it stand out which is unfair. and then read my edit to my first post.

stratkat
01-10-2007, 09:24 PM
Good point, I'll edit the centered one.

Something_Vague
01-10-2007, 09:26 PM
no problemo, you should do what I said in my first post though, makes more competitional sense.

Something_Vague
01-10-2007, 11:27 PM
blue is a rip off of everything I wrote last year.

i can pull lines of my writing to match exactly what was written there and it pisses me off.

stratkat
01-11-2007, 12:01 AM
If you want I could pm you and tell you who wrote it so you can report him.
Also if you tell me the pieces he ripped off, I'll disqualify him.

Something_Vague
01-11-2007, 12:41 AM
ehhh, i just want it to be known.

Alk 3 addict
01-11-2007, 04:40 PM
blue is a rip off of everything I wrote last year.

i can pull lines of my writing to match exactly what was written there and it pisses me off.

Uhhh I wrote Blue and I really didn't mean it to sound like you, but after I finished it I realized it sounded a lot like you. If there are actually lines from your pieces that match the ones in my piece could you post them? Or if you don't really care then don't bother, but I'm sort of curious now... Also if you can pull out the lines then just go ahead and disqualify my piece or whatever, even though it probably won't win anyway.

Something_Vague
01-11-2007, 05:06 PM
it's cool, it was unintentional, but just unsettling is all.

stratkat
01-14-2007, 01:27 AM
Oh crap this screws up how I wanted it to run, I'm gonna go with a tie breaker unless I , or anyone can come up with a better idea, I'll set it up tomorrow.