New Metal song on bass


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lonejedio5
05-25-2007, 07:06 PM
So this just came to me out of nowhere and I tabbed it out pretty quickly, end might need a little work, but overall I'm pretty happy with it.
Crit 4 Crit plzzzzzz

ch715dallat
05-25-2007, 07:14 PM
nice riffs i liked the bit at 13 and 31 the best it would be great if you could get a song organised out of that and get some drums and guitar in there great riffs shouldnt go to waste ;)

Mines in the sig ;) or my work in progress here:
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=593436
maybe you could give me some bass help i havent a clue about bass lol i usually just use roots

zakatak9389
05-25-2007, 07:32 PM
Very nice bro, The only problem I had was in bars 4, 15, and 16. Some notes sounded off-key. There were other notes that were off-key, but they still sounded good. Try to do some more variations though. Other then that it's pretty intricate stuff for a bass. Good job man.Maybe if you get a chance, check out my newest song, I tried to do more complex bass work, but it could still use work in other spots, so if you could give me some advice, I'd appreciate it. :peace:

lonejedio5
05-26-2007, 11:49 AM
Thx very much.
I added a few things in (or took out some).
Something I need help with more is staying in the same key, as some of you have mentioned, any advice on that?

revan1013
05-27-2007, 04:40 AM
I really like this dude. The melodies are flowing, good beat, and it sounded like a deep-acoustic guitar. Very nice.

I didn't notice the key problems but my ear isn't that good anyway. the second bass can totally be used more later in the song, it adds a lot of dynamic to the song and can definitely be used more I think.

It's great, and for a bass-only song (don't think I've ever listened to a solely-bass song before) it's fun listening to. A solo is probably all that's missing, unless you count the whole song as a solo right? ;)

Awesome.

masterskill
05-27-2007, 05:15 AM
Thats a pretty good riff you have going for the first sections, it started to get a bit dull, but you changed at the perfect time to another great riff (bar 13-20). Wasnt the biggest fan to from bar 29 onwards. The first riff is a bit awkward, and the second sounds jumbled. Im sure a beat would clear both these up though. Work on the other instruments and put up a finished version when you do, Id love to hear it.

Also, I agree with Revan. A second bass in the back could add some killer unique sound to it. Give it a shot and see what happens.

Give "A return" in the sig a crit when you can, would'ya?

ClosedCasket
05-28-2007, 02:48 PM
That was pretty good, very original. It had good melody, kinda reminded me of a melodic metal piece like Hammerfall or Dream Evil or sumthin. I liked the variations you had, but overall it was a bit short.

Pretty damn good tho!

BerryTree
05-28-2007, 03:43 PM
Short, straight and to the point man, I really like that bass riff (Even though it kinda drags a bit...but its just me) I could be the only one thinking this but the bass sounds a *bit* like tool, just how it sounds and feels.

can you crit mine?http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=593849

lonejedio5
05-29-2007, 04:22 PM
Short, straight and to the point man, I really like that bass riff (Even though it kinda drags a bit...but its just me) I could be the only one thinking this but the bass sounds a *bit* like tool, just how it sounds and feels.

can you crit mine?http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=593849

Haha I get that all the time. maybe cuz the bassist from tool plays pretty high up on the bass too......
Dunno what to say, I dont even listen to them that much.
But they are pretty kickass so thx.
/m/