My first multi-instrument melodic piece.


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lonejedio5
05-27-2007, 06:27 PM
Ok guys so I worked all day on this song, and I've come to a point where I've completely drawn a blank. I'm satisfied with it overall, but I know theres a bunch of little things here and there that could be better (the ending for one) and maybe some other stuff, and I was wondering if anyone wanted to help me out with it.
If not then at least let me know what ya think.

Kirby651
05-27-2007, 07:00 PM
In some parts I can hear the piano hit the same bass note every measure. It bothers me.

ch715dallat
05-27-2007, 07:01 PM
That was good the riffs were nice but you could even shorted that whole thing down by taking teh repeats out and after the last bit of piano launch into a big orchestral metal piece just a big mad instrumental thing that would be awesome :eek: anyhoo its pretty good as it is but nothing really stands out i would love you to do what i suggested tho that would be freakin epic ;)

:cheers:

i just finished a song today too its the first one in my sig if you could have a look ;)

lonejedio5
05-27-2007, 07:16 PM
In some parts I can hear the piano hit the same bass note every measure. It bothers me.

haha I'm sorry....
Why is that bad?

lonejedio5
05-28-2007, 01:29 PM
Hmmm, I really need more input from people...
Well, I added some more parts...but I still need someone to maybe help out...I'd deff. like to see what people could add to this...seeing as I'm only a bassist, I cant really write complicated guitar parts...
Anywho, Crit 4 Crit

ClosedCasket
05-28-2007, 04:07 PM
I really like that, it's beautiful and chilled out. I like the way the choir replaces the guitar, very atmospheric.

XxLloydxX
05-28-2007, 11:07 PM
The song has potential, you could use an acoustic guitar to play chords or apregiate notes behind the piano in several parts of the song, and you should add more to the song as it seems there are empty holes, maybe drums. You could also add a part where the song turns out to be diffrent from the rest but still respecting the scale. As i said before, the song has potential so i suggest maybe adding calm drum patterns and maybe acoustic guitar behind the piano playing something diffrent. I also agree with ch715dallat into making a way to a metal epic. Great song anyways.

crit mine? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=592120

lonejedio5
07-20-2007, 09:53 AM
Added some stuff to the original file...

psychotim
07-20-2007, 07:51 PM
Its realy nice.
And that Choir thing at the end was sweet.

I think you shold make it longer by adding new riffs.
Maybe some acoustic thing or some guitar leads.

So its all pretty sweet so far.
But you got to make it longer!

And maybe break up some of your riffs in there
with some other riffs to stop the repetivety.

Anyways, great work.
Crit my latest if you have the chance.