[GP5,GP4,MIDI] Zukimium


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gonzaw
06-01-2007, 08:17 PM
Yes I know, it has a weird name....I just totally made it up a few moments ago.
Well....this started as an acoustic guitar duet (kind of)....but then I added another guitar and made it into something else....so maybe thats why it doesn't sound too good when it goes from Bridge to Verse.....suggestions are welcomed :)

I didn't do the solo yet...I tried some stuff but sucked......I need some advice though.

I can play most of the acoustic part (kind of slowly) ....but I wrote it today afternoon so didn't have too much time to practice it.....any comments and suggestions for those parts are welcomed too :)

(ehh...I think bass may need something too...)

Enjoy...... :)

---------------------------------------(UPDATED VERSION BELOW)---------------------------------

Captian Xero
06-01-2007, 08:27 PM
The bass's part is just off... Try and put into a scale...

And how do you write a song without being able to play it? it's just wierd to me i guess...

I really like the 3rd guitar in the chorus...

The notes in the bridge should have rung out IMO

Other than that... it was pretty cool.

gonzaw
06-01-2007, 08:52 PM
^ Thank for the crit :)
I usually start the melody in the guitar and then start to work it in GP to make it at a faster rate....and then I learn to play it.

SGxMastodonxSG
06-03-2007, 06:24 PM
^ Thank for the crit :)
I usually start the melody in the guitar and then start to work it in GP to make it at a faster rate....and then I learn to play it.

I find myself doing that a lot, or I'll have a riff idea, then put it in GP and suddenly start expanding it from there, so that the intro is the only riff I didn't make with it. :P I wish I didn't do that. :P

There's just way to much going on here, and a lot of bad notes are being hit. That 8th fret that the bass is hitting just sounds wrong. In fact, the whole verse the bass sounds out of key. And there's just so much going on, it's all cluttered. I don't know how to describe it better than that. :P Maybe it would sound better if the bass was in key.
I really like the chorus. It was pretty cool, and I can picture a cool solo coming out of the solo area. The bridge was also very nice. I like this song, the verse is the only problem to me, everything else has a very nice sound to it, especially the chorus. Outro was cool as well.

gonzaw
06-04-2007, 03:51 PM
Thanks for the crit :)
I tried to fix the bass and part of the guitars in the verse (and some stuff in other places).
I made a solo.......which doesn't sound that bad, but in the end I got a little excited and started using some 21 fret notes and stuff (which I can't play because of my guitar....silly me), although it was fun making that last sweep.......specially cause after it the bridge starts and confuses you a bit :haha
I think it is finished...but it needs some things here and there (maybe the solo....which I made like 1 hour ago...)

khamett
06-26-2007, 03:15 PM
everything is nearl perfect, but it is maybe very hard to play

espessially the intro thing

gonzaw
06-26-2007, 03:27 PM
^Thanks for the crit :D
Actually...it isn't hard. Well, the melody is not hard,....I just choose which parts are the "melody" and play them (I don't see bar 7 in the second guitar as melody so I don't play it :p: , that is kind of difficult too)

rodrigomierh
06-26-2007, 06:22 PM
what a great song, The main riff, the chorus and the solo are awesome, I really liked the lead guitar in the chorus, it was very catchy. The solo was great, very melodic but some of the bends sounded weird . And like alway your great bass lines. Good job!!

SIMotorcycles
06-26-2007, 07:34 PM
Alright!

The intro is nice. The verse kinda irritates me, but it's very well phrased.

I love the chorus. Here's an actual suggestion though: change the first note on the clean guitar (6th fret, g string) to a half bend - I find it transitions it MUCH better.

The solo was great, so was the bridge.

The outro needs some work - find a better way to "finish" the song, and not just end it.

Overall though, great work. Crit? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=615074

ouchies
06-27-2007, 07:17 PM
I guess I must the only one that thinks your music is very bland and boring and unemotional. Although, of course it is all opinion.

You're improving a lot though, this song isn't anywhere near as bad as your first ones, just keep working on making more catchy melodies.

gonzaw
06-27-2007, 07:47 PM
I guess I must the only one that thinks your music is very bland and boring and unemotional. Although, of course it is all opinion.

You're improving a lot though, this song isn't anywhere near as bad as your first ones, just keep working on making more catchy melodies.

Well......thanks I guess........

Ceresz
06-27-2007, 08:52 PM
When I checked the first one I felt that you needed to fix the counterpoint, or well the harmony atlest because some of those "harmonies" my ear didn't quite care for but then after checking the second version I see everything has been fixed.
I really like it, especially the chorus ;)
Keep it up!