Us Versus (5/4 in D-phrygian)


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ElBarto2811
06-15-2007, 07:11 PM
Ok, I just noticed I can't do drums, so my brother in law typed in some pretty random stuff. I'm still working on the ending and some lyrics. Writing in uneven parameter was a bit harder than I thought though. Any tips/help appreciated.

arcains_valor
06-16-2007, 03:49 PM
That's not bad. You really do need to work on the drums though. Their pretty good, but at least in the chorus, you need something going constantly, like a crash symbol every beat and a snare every 3rd beat or something. The guitar is tight, except in the intro, you can't bend an open note. All you need to do though is make all those high open D's into a five fret on the A string.
Nice job. Rock on.

Burning_Angel
06-16-2007, 04:25 PM
^ You can bend an open note..

Just press on the string above the nut.

Of_Wolves
06-16-2007, 07:24 PM
Ah 5/4 not bad I must say. I can tell you've been working on this, I like it. Listening as I post and I think over all you have this flowing well, you see thats a bit of a problem of mine when I try and use different time signatures. As its been said before in some part the drums need a bit of tweaking. I mean I'm all up for this style of drumming but I think it takes away from the "odd" time signature. The drums in the chorus where awesome I thought. Its just the verses for me that don't quite work.

Keep at it mate!

Oh and if you do crits then heres one of mine you may wanna take a peak at:
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=608324

ElBarto2811
06-18-2007, 07:25 AM
^ You can bend an open note..

Just press on the string above the nut.

Yes indeed, actually I usually just use the whammy but I didn't get that to sound right in guitar pro.

Hmm we got one person saying the drums in the chorus need work, and one saying they're awesome but the verse needs work... I think the drumming styles are just to diffferent verse opposed to chorus. I'll work on that, thanks for the input guys!

leo_p8
06-18-2007, 07:34 AM
I think the actual riffing is quite effective, it sounds like something Audioslave would do... for some reason. The drums are god-awful... re-write them from scratch... don't try to give the song a "heavy" feel... just let it ring it on it's own. Us the drums for filling and marking time... not much else (variations are nice though).

Best of luck.